Bloggity Blog Blog

Hey y’all!!!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Needless to say, the final weeks of 2014 were a bust in several ways.  There were things to discuss, but nothing was positive and our drafts listing is filled with half-written posts.  But it’s a new year and I’ve decided to dive back in as a manner of expressing myself again. So let’s talk.

What’s Yo (Relationship) Status at the Bank?
Guess who happens to still be single in the most vivid way imaginable?

Over the course of the holidays, it was almost as if everything I did involved hanging with couples, listening to the drama between couples, or getting advice on how to end up in a couple.  It was harsh to say the least.

Even worse, I realized that my type is still relatively elusive.  While Class may try to act like my requirements for dating are obscure, they are actually not that bad.  But the two requirements that are most important to me seem to be the hardest to find.  Internally motivated and an interesting conversationalist seem to be rarities these days.  Lacking in these areas render even the most superficially attractive specimen useless in my world.

But the largest obstacle standing in my way is my reluctance to put myself out there.  For many years, it was fear of rejection that held me back.  That I was too big or not attractive enough to be worth anyone’s attention.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’m okay looking.  I’m relatively funny.  I’ve got some things going for me.  Also, I’m Important.

Seriously though, I’ve exhausted my desire to go out.  I’m tired of checking apps and dating sites.  I’m just in this place where I’d rather not be bothered.  That attitude doesn’t fix the situation, but it is where I’m at these days.  We’ll see what changes this year.

On Blackness
This blog isn’t even a year old and we have a full archive on Race Issues.

But it seems 2014 was the year where racists just said “Fuck It” and went hard in the paint to make America miserable unsafe for Black people. I remember back when President Obama was elected, there was a mixed feeling of elation and fear.  One of the biggest lessons I’d learned was that when white people feel a loss of perceived power, they lash out.  No matter what.  Whether it’s getting angry and upset with harsh words and attempts to ruin the victor’s credibility or attempting to utilize the one perceived slight as an example of how hard they have it, it is going to happen.  The only other reaction I’ve ever seen is the defense “I’m not racist, I hate everyone.  Racist comment, racist comment, racist comment.”  That’s probably the worst of all.

But to keep myself from going full-on thesis, here’s Miles Jai:

Here’s Chescaleigh:

Here’s Tre Melvin:

I’m using these as examples because I’m trying to swallow this rage and keep it trucking. But the end result is that people are pissed at the injustice.  And no one cares how much it inconveniences you.  Our lives are at stake.  Until there is real change, there will truly be no peace.

Pettiness and Heartbreaks: Celebrity Style

“Cut that Chinese Pussy Hair off my face. Lol”

When I tell you that Sass and I cackled for hours on end over the Lispy/Fanny Pack brief separation.  But something about this douchey face and the Lol sent me over the moon.

Both of these people truly need to leave their lives off the internet, but for the first time in ages, I laughed at their antics instead of rolling my eyes.  The involvement of Drake. Her tears of melancholy and faux-inspirational Instagrams from the Jhene Aiko playbook of songwriting.  The phrase “Chinese Pussy Hair”.  This is classic.

2014 also saw the breakup of Amber Rose & Wiz Latifah. I like Amber and Wiz is entertaining to look up so hopefully things will be good for their baby.  However, this my friends:

https://twitter.com/Yoo_Narry/status/549318868015906816

is good times. I love this like I love cheese.

Some Last Minute Jams
Here’s two of my favorite songs.  Leggo!

In The Presence Of Mirrors – PM Dawn

Ugh, love this group so much.  I wore my aunt’s cassette for “Of The Heart, Of the Soul, And of the Cross” out when I borrowed it back in middle/high school.  They have an interesting way of speaking about life and love in a way that’s emotional and masculine if that makes sense.  It’s melodic but it’s funky.  It’s definitely a product of the early 90’s free-for-all music scene. I’ll leave the song’s interpretation up to you, but this song still takes me to a place of wondering who I am and what I’m doing.

Please Don’t Turn Me On – Artful Dodger

With my very public love of Craig David, I don’t think it is surprising that UK Garage music appeals to me. Artful Dodger did some production work on Craig’s first album too, but it wasn’t until much later that I took a dive into his singles. I love the softness of his production, the abundance of harmonies, and his ability to give songs a groove while downplaying the drumbeat. It’s all very lush, if that makes sense.  This song makes me happy.

So what’s happening in your world? Are you looking forward to 2015?

Let’s Talk

Hey folks, it’s November.  Trash’s favorite month of the year!  But it seems like the past few weeks have been full of things that piss me off.  Let’s discuss.

Social Media Trash
Now one thing you all know is that Tumblr and Instagram are sites where people have absolutely no couth.  There are blogs out there specifically for posting Catfish’ed nudes.  We constantly see “Post Bad Bitches” accounts.  It’s a part of life that is treated with stunning regularity.  What’s worse is that people are now using these platforms to “communicate” with other participants.  Let’s talk about one specific instance I saw this week.

While scrolling through the Tumblr, I saw an ask.  And I quote

“I think that Jordan Calloway is DL.  I dm’ed him a picture of me playing with myself and he didn’t respond.  And I’M A 10!!!! So he has to be gay!”

Now for those of you who don’t know who Jordan Calloway is, he was in that Drumline 2 movie and looks like this:

 

So you know, I can understand being a little thirsty.  However, what I do not understand is your snap judgment of his sexuality based on your irrational decision to send someone you don’t know footage of your vagina monologues.

WHO IS RAISING YOU?

Seriously, I get that there is a feeling of “intimacy” because we can now “interact” with celebrities and even fine ass regular people via these platforms. But what I don’t get is this sense of entitlement that suggests they have to respond to you no matter what you send.  If you think they are attractive, that means they are OBVIOUSLY attracted to you and are willing to spend their time interacting with a nameless, faceless other. This is regardless of sexuality.  They don’t owe you a laundry list of their sexual preferences or histories.   They don’t owe you nude photos.  They don’t owe you anything.

THEY DON’T KNOW YOU!

Someone told that youngest Jenner girl they wanted to eat chocolate pudding out of her behind.  At the age of 16.  You know that you all don’t have to actually say these things to these people.

I’ll fully admit that I stay creeping.  I’m all about that screenshot/right click + save as lifestyle.

But what I’m not doing is badgering people with my thirst because I was never taught self-control.  Get it together adults.  Make sure these kids know how to act both in real life and on the internet.

Lena Dunham’s “Comedic” Sexual Awakening
I’m going into this having never watched an episode of Girls and only knowing two things about the show.  People either think the show is quirky funny or horribly racist.  And that they used Lady’s “Yankin” on an episode.

I laugh at that .gif constantly.

But anyway, Lena Dunham, the show’s creator and noted hunchback released her book this year with a problematic passage about her sexual “awakening” in the presence of her younger sister.

I’m not here to defend nor condemn this woman (who has proven that she wants to be treated with kid gloves while praised for her edgy and different she is).  I want to talk about over-sharing.  Most of the praise that I’ve read about Lena’s work is that it truly comes from her life and experiences.  The show may be an obnoxious show about privileged white hipsters but that’s her life and experience.  I recall there being a lot of praise for showing her body which isn’t “Hollywood-sized” as well.

The impression that I’ve always gotten is that she thinks that acting like a little girl is cute and has gotten by with this approach.

Why else wouldn’t she stand up straight?

When I read that passage and the resulting media explosion, my only thought was why put this in the book?  Why do you we need to know this about you? Again, I gather that she thought this would make her look more quirky and different. Oh, look at this weirdly curious 6 year old girl who just wanted to know what her vagina was doing!  Isn’t that adorable?!

See it’s not.  At least, a 28-year old woman tells the story isn’t.  This is the kind of attention seeking story that she thinks will “totally piss off the stuffy old people of today. I’m so edgy.” When in reality, stories of the sexual awakening of a child aren’t something we as a general public need to know. Curiosity about the body isn’t gross, in and of itself, but putting out it as a light-hearted comedic joke was never going to work.

Now her sister has to live the rest of her life with the world knowing her sibling touched her genitalia, whether it was sexual or not.

She had to know that sharing a story about touching her younger sister’s body was going to get her labeled as a child molester, truth or not.  Her “rage” at the controversy is totally unearned.

And by the way, if you were a little kid and never looked at another little kid's vagina, well, congrats to you.

— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) November 1, 2014

I told a story about being a weird 7 year old. I bet you have some too, old men, that I'd rather not hear. And yes, this is a rage spiral.

— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) November 1, 2014

You want to tell a story about being a weird 7-year old? Talk about actual events.  (I jumped out of the car after we got in an accident and told a police officer to arrest a man for spilling my soda.)  Talk about interaction with your family. (I was given a puppy by my father and proceeded to walk away saying that I asked for a Nintendo.) There are some things that just don’t need to be said because no matter the context, it doesn’t read well.  It speaks to her lack of maturity and refusal to take responsibility for her own actions.

Her editors didn’t think this would be a scandal.  But I guess it got people talking about her book, so there’s that.

(Seriously, she’s 28? Someone get her a multi-vitamin or a spa day. Girl looks rough.)

What are your thoughts?  Are you the one sending nasty pics to Tyga’s DM’s?  How dumb is Lena Dunham? Let me know in the comments.

Guest Post: Instagram’s Explore Page

Editorial Note: Welcome Sass back into the fray for another hilarious post about how you’re fucking up on a daily basis. -Team Trash

The Instagram Explore Page…where the shitty taste of my friends gathers and kills my soul.

Earlier this year…or maybe late last year…or maybe earlier last year? Fuck it, I don’t know, sometime before today, Instagram updated their Popular page to become the Explore page. Before, the Popular page was a place where the most liked pictures on Instagram were showcased. There you could see Kim Kardashian’s newest selfie (even though you don’t follow her, but 10 million other people do) or the latest vegetable that Oprah picked from her garden (because, Queen). Even if you don’t follow them, you were able to see what was popular at the time.

And then that changed.

Now, the Explore page displays a mix of pictures popular in your country, pictures your friends have liked and people similar to the people that you follow. It’s more a platform to discover, or explore (see what they did there?) the world outside of themselves and their immediate circle. Sometimes, there are some good finds there; for example, Mankofit with her killer workout tips, DanaChanel and her inspirational messages, and Oprah with her vegetable garden (because, Queen). But other times…Lord Jesus, bless it. The ratchetry of some of my friends is out, about, and pushed to the forefront of my feed.

Here are the top 5 terrible things I can ALWAYS count on seeing on the Explore page:

1.)  Instagram Models and Boutiques – I probably brought this on myself, honestly, because I follow Draya, but there are A LOT of Instagram models and boutiques featured here. There’s a lot of mesh, a ton of weave, breast, butt and lip augmentation and flesh that I don’t need. Usually, these “fashions” can be purchased on the low – bandage, cut out dresses made of mesh can be purchased for $15.99, which includes shipping, handling, tax, service fees, production costs and materials. These “models” have booking information for club appearances and fully styled “I woke up like this” pictures. Yeah, okay.

2.)  The Half-Naked Boys – Some of these half naked boys are models of either the Instagram or legitimate variety. Others of them are regular people, stunting for their thirsty Instagram followers, whit their pants halfway removed, giving us pubic hair and six-packs, while they brush their teeth with the caption, “Morning.” Boy, stop.I don’t know how these end up on my page, but my eyes are dead set on people I follow (lowers glasses and glares at Trash). Sometimes you get shirtless, sometimes you get pantsless, and sometimes you get an ass clap/twerk video with the caption, “Bored.” I’m never ready for those videos.

(Editor’s Note: I don’t know what Sass is talking about.  I keep it sophisticated and elegant at all times.  Maybe she should check Class)

3.)  Philosophical Posts from the Ignorant and Highly Uninformed – Everyone is not bright. We know this. The second I find out which of my friends likes posts like the one below, they’re unfollowed. Dead ass. Ebola can be treated and cured, just like you can HIV? Okay, boss. Catch both, and tell me which one clears up first. Honest to God, one of the comments said that they won’t tell you that drinking Lysol cures HIV and they’re keeping that information from us, too. You’re right, medical professionals just won’t tell us that. How rude of them.

4.)  Memes – The first go ‘round of memes are usually funny. And then they’re not. Let Olivia from The Cosby Show, Kermit and the tea, the “this could be us, but…,” and all the other dead memes go to their much deserved eternal slumber. They don’t need their own accounts and they most certainly don’t need new life every single day. Are some funny? Certainly? Are most? NOPE! Be mindful of your meme usage, ladies and gents. Send Terrio to school, draw on LeBron’s hairline, cure that awkward looking Black girl of her perpetual confusion, and give that struggle ponytail a weave. However, Kim’s cry face and the Martin Baker on the phone memes will never get old to me. Also, any Rihanna face usually makes for a good time. Just be accurate in the captions.

5.)  Food posts – Honestly, I don’t have an issue with these, I just needed a fifth and Trash didn’t answer his phone when I needed another suggestion (I set myself up with five, I should have gone for three). I even think that CookinForBae is amazing. This bitch be hungry. Keep sharing those, I need them.

(Editorial Note: Trash can in fact confirm that this did not happen.  However, I did just see a large man in a taupe sleeveless top with a cowl neck on my Explore page, so carry on.)

Another Feelings Dump

What’s up y’all?  While I wouldn’t expect a return to regular posting just yet, I do have some stuff on my mind that I need to get out of my system.  So what better place?

This list is not at all in order of importance.

1) Coping (How to Fail at It) featuring Trash

You all have to know what’s going on in Ferguson, MO at this point.  I’m not here to recap it.  I’m not even here to argue the facts.

I don’t have the strength to point out how all of this is because Black people and their lives are denied value in America.

You should already know that no matter what you wear, no matter how many degrees you have, no matter how much you avoid being “stereotypical,” you’re still just another black person.  When the chips are down, you can be shot.  They will get away with it.

We all know that this teenager is going be criminalized and smeared in the media, because any minor discretion is just another reason his life didn’t matter.  You’re constantly going to be reminded that any fault in his character justified his murder.

We all know that clueless assholes are going to idiotic statements.  Newscasters will say to use “water cannons.” The killer will talk about how his life has ended too, even though he’s at home on paid leave.  New Blacks are going to talk about how Black on Black crime and rap music is the cause of all of this.

You’ve already seen someone on your social media try to make it about them with clueless statements, incorrect information, and a general ain’t-shit demeanor.

Truth is, I’m tired.  I’m trying to deal with all of my outrage, my inability to create meaningful change, my inability to protect people I love from the same fate.  There’s not a day where I don’t think, “I’m blessed to be alive.”  I haven’t done anything to deserve it.  But I am.  Instead of productively letting it out, I’m just stewing in my anger and hopelessness.  It’s making me feel ugly inside and preventing me from enjoying the day-to-day.  I don’t want to be around people because all I want to do is talk about it and be angry.  I don’t have the luxury of taking off and being alone until I’m able to face regular society again.  I’m trying to just plow through life in order to sit home in the dark and think about this situation.

There’s no comfort in knowing that no matter what I do, no matter what advice I give my nephew and niece, no matter how many books I read, and no matter how polite I am, my life means nothing if a White person so deems it.

2) Taylor Swift

I haven’t really raged against the Swift in recent moments because she doesn’t really have a song out and she hasn’t been publicly dating anyone.  Not so lucky for me and the rest of the world, she released “Shake It Off.”

I’m not going to link because she’s not getting a single view on my behalf.

But this is tangent to the first point.  The root of my hatred of Taylor Swift (and Jennifer Aniston) is that for my money they represent peak whiteness. This isn’t a critique of every white person (again, I should not have to say this) but of the dominant American culture.  I’ll let Omarosa take over…

Where a “wholesome” and “sweet” girl who are just “hassled” are given passes for complete mediocrity because of her perceived girl next door image.  It’s like “Ooh, she’s bland and I can sing better than her.  Give her all my money!” 

Throw in some questionable appropriation moments and her absolute refusal to sing on key and it’s already terrible.

But this song has a message of “SUCK IT HATAZ” for critiquing her image.  So she’s shaking off any criticism of her bland, mediocre, white bread music and image that appeals to middle-of-the-road, “put-upon”, middle class America. The very same America that is notably quiet whenever an unarmed Black man is killed in cold blood.

For me, this song is the essence of “First World Problems.”  And this is not the day, the week, the month, nor the year for this shit.

Sure, that may seem like a reach for some readers, but think about it this way.  Think back to a time where you felt depressed or upset over something in your life.  Now somebody you don’t particularly like (a coworker or classmate) comes up gloating about their promotion when you know they do nothing or a great exam score on a test where they have cheated.  You wouldn’t have the time for it.

And that’s what this song is to me.  It’s Taylor Swift singing a song that say “nah nah ni boo boo” to all you minorities for not being White.

Fuck.  Her.

3) Reality TV Thoughts

On a lighter note, Project Runway and Top Chef Duels have come to television.  Since So You Think You Can Dance continues to be pretty terrible, I had high hopes for each of these shows.

Project Runway is about as average as any of the other later seasons with some confounding judging thrown in.  Three of first four episodes have handed out wins to questionable garments. Props to Tom & Lorenzo as the source of these photos.  Also, if you love celebrity fashion, Mad Men, Project Runway, or RuPaul’s Drag Race, it behooves you to frequent their site.  Also, read their book!

The first two are from comeback contestant Amanda.  Fringe really shouldn’t be a thing.  The second two are from Sandhya.  I like the pink look with the metallic detail, but that poorly dyed, ripped shoulder, frayed edge abomination should have at least put her in the bottom.  No thanks.  That said, I do think that there’s some talent in the cast and the judges seem to be making good cuts.  I have hope that someday Michael Kors will come back.

Top Chef Duels is pretty good!  It’s a lot more low-key than your traditional Top Chef, but it brings back familiar faces and gives them space to be creative.  As a huge Gail Simmons fan, I’m glad she’s a part of the show.  I could live without Curtis Stone, but that’s not my decision.  I hope that the show does well and continues to bring back some great chefs.  (Although, go away Mike Isabella.)

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta is finally winding down after a particularly raggedy season.  When Karlie Redd is the source of your most entertaining moments, it’s time to take stock.  Seeing Rasheeda take Kirk back after complete and blatant disrespect for her, their child, his mother, their family, and her image (which is the family business) is not good television.  Seeing Erica and Scrappy be friends is nice for the sake of their daughter, they’ve been complete non-entities since we stopped seeing O’Shea Da Model and The Bambi.  Benzino continues to be neckless and ThiThi is the most obvious case of fame-hungry gold digger we’ve seen since Flavor of Love 3.  Stevie and Joseline’s soap opera relationship is not funny.  Joseline is best when talking shit about other girls, not crying about beefcake and her awful music.  Tammy & Waka are sweet but boring.  Karlie is trash on trash, but at least she gave us more terrible music and Yung Joc’s decision to air our her sexual habits.  Momma Dee & Deb are reliably fun though.

But let’s about Mimi again.  All of Mimi’s struggles, barring the death of her father, are her own doing based on her own choices.  Her absolute refusal to be told that she is wrong only serves to make her look like the weak-willed dingbat that she is. It’s painful to watch her get mad at people when she is forced to reveal her lies.  Like if you don’t want to hear what they have to say, stop going to them.  If you’re going to defend being wrong so vehemently, you’re going to continue to have to eat crow.

To be frank, I’d have cut her off when she accepted Stevie’s car.  Girl, you can’t be over him and accept things that aren’t child support.  Your dependency is showing.

But truth be told, she needs to leave the show.  Nothing has been good for her since it started and now the world knows her for being an idiot who is easily fooled and bought.  Sucks to be you.

4) The Future Looks Bleak

If you haven’t gathered, I’m not in the happiest of places now.  As cliché and standard as it sounds, I’m used to telling myself that it will all work out. It will all be okay. But these two weeks have reminded me of the feeling of despair that I either ignored or suppressed as a part of the move.  It’s that I don’t know the future and not seeing much in the way of encouragement.  It’s not that I don’t believe God has a plan or that I believe I should have all the answers.  It just seems like I keep waking up to bad news. It’s like a nightmare. I want more than what this is for America and for my friends.  I don’t know how to tell them that, being someone who hates only tolerates melodrama/emotions.

That said, I’ll end this with simply.  I care.  I’m not great at letting people know that.  I may not ever say to your face.  But you’re cared about and I want what’s best for your mind, body, and soul.

Stay safe everyone and do your best to maintain positivity in your days.

A Hiatus & A Last Word

Hey everyone, this is going to the last post for a bit.  I’ll explain as this post unwinds.

To say that this week has been completely draining would be the understatement of the year.  There’s only so much rage you can feel.  There’s only so many days where you can feel hopeless.  There’s only a few times I’m going to let you tell me that wearing a suit will protect me.  We don’t want to hear any more lies or coverups.

While this blog has been amazing for getting these feelings out, I’m not really in a place to give you the fun stuff that attracted you here in the first place.  It’s not gone forever and there may be a post here or there, but for now, this is a smooth see you later.  But I do want to leave you all with a few mini-playlists to hold you over.  So here goes nothing.

Quickie Post: Grief & Social Media

Hey folks. I don’t want to hold you up but I had this on my spirit.

With the tragic news of Mike Brown’s murder in Missouri as well as the suicide of Robin Williams, this week has been a grim reminder of many things. Police brutality, the state of being Black in America, and mental illness just to name a few.

In my experience, grief is a messy and difficult emotion. A mix of anger, despair, and sadness that is unmatched in how it affects a person. You don’t just get over grief. You don’t just talk it out once and it goes away.

We also live in a world where everyone feels like they need to share their every thought via the Internet, regardless of the topic, mundane or emotional. I’m here to tell you that you don’t.

If the people in your lives feel as thought you not making a grand statement is “offensive,” these are people who don’t live their real lives.

Part of the human experience is dealing with these types of intense moments in the way that is most fitting for your life and your emotional state.

You should also feel free to share your feelings on your page. My only ask is that you look before you respond. Posting incorrect names and information only serves to make you look inauthentic and erode whatever sentiment you were sharing.

That’s all and I hope that this week only finds a way to be better.

Why So Awful?

 

HERE YE! HERE YE!

I’m coming to you with this generic clip art of a megaphone to tell you this.

Stop being awful!  Don’t cheat on your spouse.  Don’t invite someone out and have nothing to say.  Don’t waste people’s time.  Don’t be assholes.

This has been a public service announcement.

Y’all Can Keep Your Online Dating

Hello friends. This is Class!!!

I am currently reconstructing my life and blogging just has taken a back burner but Trash keeps coming for my wig so… Here we go.

It’s Friday which most likely means I will spend my night with wine, contemplating my life as a bachelor.

Part of my reconstruction includes my love life or rather….the lack there of. Past relationships were great when they were great but when they flopped it took a toll on my trust. So I decided, to not date and just live life as a strong, sassy, independent woman (well man). But after a couple of years and some trashy hooker wig nights (which are NONE your business. yolo my readers!), I find myself prepared to love again.

I’m young. Fun. Got my looks together… So this should be easy right? Heck no.

This is where all you happy relationship people say , “OMG you should totes online date! Have you like tried tinder? What about Plenty Of Fish?”

Girl. Shut up.

A) Despite some of my choices, I’m extremely old school and will nevah have to say “Oh, we met online”. It ain’t going down like that. I get the changing climate of dating but I’m not giving up hope that one can find love in a more organic way that doesn’t waste my data plan with Verizon.

B) A lot of people on these apps are looking for a quick hookup. When you open an introduction with “How big is your wang?” You can go stand in the middle of a busy highway and wait for me to show you. I’ll be riiiiight there.

C) Some of y’all too damn clingy. Don’t start talking long term with someone YOU HAVE NEVER MET. It drives me crazy. I was just trying to be polite and you planning on moving in together. Fuck outta here.

D) To quote Heidi Montag, “They say I’m superficial.” And I just might be, but that doesn’t change that there are some people that can make a cockroach look appealing on these apps. By the same token, those of you who use your “model” shots as your main profile pic but two pics over we see the real you in a dirty mirror selfie… I have one thing to say to youuuu…. YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE! Get outta here with that. Have me all excited thinking I found Shemar Moore but really you look like a dying mongoose.

E) If you’re married or in a seemingly serious relationship and you are on one of these apps, you are nasty and I personally hope you penis (or vagina) falls off because we know what you’re doing and it ain’t cute. And no, YOU ARE NOT JUST LOOKING FOR FRIENDS YA NASTY HOOKER.

To my relationship friends who have never had to use online dating, leave us single folk who don’t want to date online alone. TRUST ME, it is not as glamorous as the eHarmony commercials make it look.

Moral of this blog is, I have no desire to date online. So leave me be. I don’t want a profile made, nothing. When a relationship is meant to happen, it will happen.

K thanks bye!

HAPPY FRIDAY! Get them bottles poppin’!!!

Keep Your Mess To Yourself

Woo hey lovelies!  It’s been a while hasn’t it?  Sorry to leave you without a dope beat to step to, but we’re back.  Let’s get this started with a quick word from our sponsors.

Just for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I could tell you stories of this weekend, but they would only bore you.  So I needed to give you all a quick tip in keeping your life in check.

Tighten it the fuck up!

I swear, how are you all living as adults in 2014 without learning how to keep it together.  I’m so sick of hearing back stories about myself from other people.  I’m sick of you all trying to throw the rock and hide your hand.  You’re not swift enough to stop us from figuring out your game, ashy.  Let’s take two quick scenarios.

So you’re not having a great time because you keep “running into” “old flames” who still “want you.”  Cute for you!  Live your best life and fly above ALL the haters.  But if I don’t know them, I really and truly don’t give a fuck.  By sharing all of your trashy past experiences, no matter what the topic of conversation is, you’re always going to look foolish.  Save your bedroom antics for a sleepover or your therapist.  It doesn’t make you look desirable, it makes you look desperate.

Moving on to number two.  Talking recklessly about people you consider your “friends” and casually spilling tea will get your face sliced.  Or at least your ego.  Here’s the thing.  Freudian slips happen.  Sometimes we’re trying to relate and say too much.  But if all I get from you are snide remarks and late shade, why the hell are we hanging out?

You’re mad you weren’t invited?  The exit is that-a-way! My life doesn’t revolve around you and unless you are paying my bills, you can’t direct my time.  Then to reach into my texts?  With unearned indignity?

Keep it.  Write it in your journal and leave me the hell alone.  Better yet, take those weak reads, pack them up, and send them to the illiterate children of the Third world.  That’s the only way anyone will see them and give a shit.

I don’t know, this came across angrier than I intended.  But it really butters my biscuits to hear someone claim to be a good friend when they have offered nothing but trouble or an obnoxious attitude in the process.

How do you feel about it?  Let me know!

 

 

Quickie Post: Punctuality

Hey love muffins! (TM: BScott)

This is really quick but have I ever told you that I hate lateness?

I don’t like to be late getting places and I hate waiting for people to meet me. I guess I’ve just always felt that it was disrespectful. As if my time is not as important or valuable as yours.

I really do try to let people know if I’m going to be late even if it is five minutes. But I try to give leeway for traffic and whatnot.

But late for no reason? Bye Felicia.

Tis all for now.