tweets

Let’s Talk

Hey folks, it’s November.  Trash’s favorite month of the year!  But it seems like the past few weeks have been full of things that piss me off.  Let’s discuss.

Social Media Trash
Now one thing you all know is that Tumblr and Instagram are sites where people have absolutely no couth.  There are blogs out there specifically for posting Catfish’ed nudes.  We constantly see “Post Bad Bitches” accounts.  It’s a part of life that is treated with stunning regularity.  What’s worse is that people are now using these platforms to “communicate” with other participants.  Let’s talk about one specific instance I saw this week.

While scrolling through the Tumblr, I saw an ask.  And I quote

“I think that Jordan Calloway is DL.  I dm’ed him a picture of me playing with myself and he didn’t respond.  And I’M A 10!!!! So he has to be gay!”

Now for those of you who don’t know who Jordan Calloway is, he was in that Drumline 2 movie and looks like this:

calloway

 

So you know, I can understand being a little thirsty.  However, what I do not understand is your snap judgment of his sexuality based on your irrational decision to send someone you don’t know footage of your vagina monologues.

lilnasty

WHO IS RAISING YOU?

Seriously, I get that there is a feeling of “intimacy” because we can now “interact” with celebrities and even fine ass regular people via these platforms. But what I don’t get is this sense of entitlement that suggests they have to respond to you no matter what you send.  If you think they are attractive, that means they are OBVIOUSLY attracted to you and are willing to spend their time interacting with a nameless, faceless other. This is regardless of sexuality.  They don’t owe you a laundry list of their sexual preferences or histories.   They don’t owe you nude photos.  They don’t owe you anything.

THEY DON’T KNOW YOU!

Someone told that youngest Jenner girl they wanted to eat chocolate pudding out of her behind.  At the age of 16.  You know that you all don’t have to actually say these things to these people.

I’ll fully admit that I stay creeping.  I’m all about that screenshot/right click + save as lifestyle.

staymad

But what I’m not doing is badgering people with my thirst because I was never taught self-control.  Get it together adults.  Make sure these kids know how to act both in real life and on the internet.

Lena Dunham’s “Comedic” Sexual Awakening
I’m going into this having never watched an episode of Girls and only knowing two things about the show.  People either think the show is quirky funny or horribly racist.  And that they used Lady’s “Yankin” on an episode.

yankin bop

I laugh at that .gif constantly.

But anyway, Lena Dunham, the show’s creator and noted hunchback released her book this year with a problematic passage about her sexual “awakening” in the presence of her younger sister.

I’m not here to defend nor condemn this woman (who has proven that she wants to be treated with kid gloves while praised for her edgy and different she is).  I want to talk about over-sharing.  Most of the praise that I’ve read about Lena’s work is that it truly comes from her life and experiences.  The show may be an obnoxious show about privileged white hipsters but that’s her life and experience.  I recall there being a lot of praise for showing her body which isn’t “Hollywood-sized” as well.

The impression that I’ve always gotten is that she thinks that acting like a little girl is cute and has gotten by with this approach.

standupstraight

Why else wouldn’t she stand up straight?

When I read that passage and the resulting media explosion, my only thought was why put this in the book?  Why do you we need to know this about you? Again, I gather that she thought this would make her look more quirky and different. Oh, look at this weirdly curious 6 year old girl who just wanted to know what her vagina was doing!  Isn’t that adorable?!

See it’s not.  At least, a 28-year old woman tells the story isn’t.  This is the kind of attention seeking story that she thinks will “totally piss off the stuffy old people of today. I’m so edgy.” When in reality, stories of the sexual awakening of a child aren’t something we as a general public need to know. Curiosity about the body isn’t gross, in and of itself, but putting out it as a light-hearted comedic joke was never going to work.

Now her sister has to live the rest of her life with the world knowing her sibling touched her genitalia, whether it was sexual or not.

She had to know that sharing a story about touching her younger sister’s body was going to get her labeled as a child molester, truth or not.  Her “rage” at the controversy is totally unearned.

You want to tell a story about being a weird 7-year old? Talk about actual events.  (I jumped out of the car after we got in an accident and told a police officer to arrest a man for spilling my soda.)  Talk about interaction with your family. (I was given a puppy by my father and proceeded to walk away saying that I asked for a Nintendo.) There are some things that just don’t need to be said because no matter the context, it doesn’t read well.  It speaks to her lack of maturity and refusal to take responsibility for her own actions.

Her editors didn’t think this would be a scandal.  But I guess it got people talking about her book, so there’s that.

(Seriously, she’s 28? Someone get her a multi-vitamin or a spa day. Girl looks rough.)

What are your thoughts?  Are you the one sending nasty pics to Tyga’s DM’s?  How dumb is Lena Dunham? Let me know in the comments.

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Arbitrary Happy Moments

Greetings earthlings.  This is going to be a quick one but since my mood has been pretty blah for the past few weeks, I thought that I would list out a few of the things that have made me smile this week.  Let’s go.

1) Drake Living Out His Pink/Peter Pan Fantasy

drakefairy

This.  Is. Amazing.

Like I’m imagining Drake flying out over the audience singing like Janet Jackson or Victoria Beckham’s classic “Not Such An Innocent Girl”.

I patiently await the memes Black Twitter.  Let’s get started.

2) This Tweet

which reminded me of this review of the Bratz Movie (which was apparently a thing)

Especially the song and dance at the 8:00 minute mark.

The reference to capris is at the 11:00 minute mark, but just watch the whole review and giggle.

3) Speaking of Horrible Movies!

krumpbattle

4) This Gif & Video

6

 

5) This Vine.

snap

What things are lifting your spirits these days?  Let me know so I can chuckle too.

Trash’s BET Awards Recap

What’s up, People?

So the BET Awards happened last night!  And you know what, it was an entertaining show!  I mean I’m clearly going to shade your faves, but there clearly was some real effort and intent into the production and decisions.  It showed and I’m honestly impressed.  But let’s go through some of the moments and performances!

But let’s first pay tribute to this diva who clearly got her life from every pre-show performance.  I was completely here for her.  Show out diva!

The show opened with Pharrell performing Come Get It Bae.  While I love Pharrell, his reticence leads to somewhat dull performances. Although I enjoyed him dropping it to the floor.  But then he brought out MISSY ELLIOTT and things became so important.  Listen, I’m going to address Nicki Minaj later but Missy Elliott is part of the reason that Nicki falls flat because she’s such a fun and engaging artist with a catalog of HITS!  She’s flawless and immediately brought energy into Pharrell’s show.  Fantastic.

Chris Rock hosted the show and did a fantastic job.  Full stop.  His opening monologue and bits during the show were funny, if a bit forced.  I loved the bit of him at the Monster Truck Rally and the play on Ellen’s pizza with Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.  While it was no Mo’nique slaying Beyoncé’s choreography, it was a lively show in part thanks to him.  Although, poor Rick Ross took the brunt of his jokes.  Oh well!

Nick Cannon continued his pursuit to become the lamest man on the planet.  Showing up with leather pants, a pick, and a thirsty afro, he appeared to make Zendaya uncomfortable.

John Legend then performed, singing beautifully and glowing because that’s just what he does.  But then, tragedy.

Jhene2

If you recall, this is how Class & I both feel about Jhene’s supposed vocal talents.  She strutted out there swaying and bopping while missing all 6 notes of that “The Worst” song.  Like I just don’t understand why she’s so bad live.  And this is coming from someone who enjoys Cassie!  She’s seriously so blah and seeing people go up for her irritates me.  She was up there struggling and failing to impress the judges when John Legend jumped in to sing with her and scalped her in TWO lines.  TWO. He didn’t even break a sweat.  Goodbye girl.

Chris Brown performed Loyal and I just can’t be bothered.  I can’t remember if I mentioned it in my post, but he seriously comes across as dead.  The dance moves seemed lazy and he came out in red plaid which would be a theme for the night.  But his voice isn’t where it used to be and Loyal, while catchy, just isn’t a song that I’m ever going to see it for without several cocktails and a dance floor.  However, this tweet (Retweeted from MissJia took me out of the game)

But then, Usher came out to remind us that he has hits on hits on hits.  Although, that curious coon skin cap was not the business.  Seriously, the Confessions album by itself could have been a 20-minute performance.  We could have cut freaking Jhene for more Usher.  And just when I thought the performance couldn’t be more fun…

boots!

Listen.  This young diva hopped on stage with her boots and proceeded to herk and jerk about to my endless delight.  Love her.

Jennifer Hudson performed a song and I seriously always feel a little bad for her.  She can sing and she has style but her song choices either feel tedious or forced.  She was in a leather mini-dress that was not flattering and seemed to be going for Studio 54 meets Patti Labelle and it just didn’t work.  But she didn’t bring out David BaeIntosh in sheer panty-drawls.  So a win is a win.

This happened.

Okay, let’s talk about Nicki Minaj.  She came out to perform that “Pills & Potions” song with an Alice In Wonderland set.  The performance, like the song, was mediocre.  I say this, knowing that I actually don’t really mind her these days.  Her make-under is truly one of the best image reinventions in recent memory.  That plus Lookin Ass had me thinking that perhaps we could co-exist.  But I do feel like while Nicki has the ability to be a dope lyricist and certainly has some creativity, her performance come across very middle school play.  There’s a lack of polish in her “art” that makes it childish and less impressive when compared to her contemporaries.

Think back to her Catholic mess at the Grammy’s.  She felt like that was going to be shocking and say something, but really it was just off-putting and uninteresting.  With the childish set and the fact that Pills and Potions just isn’t an interesting summer song, it was blah and made her later comments seem even more petty.

It’s why her Beez In The Trap performance from 2012 was so good.  Taking out all of the “art” forced her to rely on her rhymes and presence and the performance was better because of it.  Also, this.

We’ll come back to Nicki coming for Iggy later.

Okay, next August Alasia, Trey Songz, and Chris Brown came out to make the young ladies and gays of the world moist.  Asian Sensation, who you may remember from our NFL Draft post, loves her some August.  I don’t particularly mind him, but he’s so fun to laugh at.  With that said, his performance was fine.  He may have a limited vocal range, but he works what he has well.  He reminds me of a Lyfe Jennings, but for those who didn’t live through dial-up internet.  It’s also further proof that Trey Songz, fine as he is, sounds like shit live.  Chris still sounds like he’d rather be having a root canal.

We then got Trey Songz performing Na Na and yeah, the performance is better watched on mute.  OOOH, but do you remember when he sang for Prince????

crylaugh

Prince’s pursed lips of judgement will continue to get us all through the day.

We then got to the Lionel Richie’s tribute.  Or should I say Ritchie?  Really, BET?? I just can’t with you.

But John Legend, Ledisi, and Yolanda Adams did a bang up job.  Especially Yolanda who brought the house down.  Lionel then gave an airy fairy speech before blessing us with All Night Long which by FAR my favorite solo song of his. (Zoom by the Commodores being my all-time favorite.)

AYYYYYYYYYYYE JAMBO JAMBO!

So T.I. and Iggy Brazilia performed “No Mediocre” which led to Iggy’s Fancy. T.I. has perfect teeth and wore a parka.  Iggy mumble rapped her way though and sat on a lawn chair.  It was fine for what it was.  But let’s talk Iggy.  She is the target of a lot of hatred a la Macklemore, for adopting a “blaccent” for her raps and some racist tweets earlier in her career.  Essentially, the running commentary is that she is a parody of hip hop who has been elevated because of her skin color.  I get not liking her because her catalog is mostly mediocre and the tweets, but her adopting a rap persona doesn’t phase me at all.  L’il Kim’s nor Foxy Brown’s natural voices were nearly as gruff as their songs.  And whether you like it or not, Fancy is one of the songs of the summer.  It’s catchy, it’s fun to sing/rap along to, and Iggy sells it.  The execution of her Clueless-inspired video is killer.

But back to Nicki coming for Iggy’s writing credits and authenticity.  Girl. Good. Bye. I don’t say that because I’m some huge Iggy fan or anything.  But to come for someone who is having career success when you’ve just beaten her for an award is petty.  It doesn’t make you look good.  It doesn’t speak well for your belief in YOUR career.  And to have Nicki Minaj come for anyone on the grounds of authenticity when she has run around for a good 5 years wearing multi-colored quick weaves, speaking in tragic accents, and calling herself a Barbie just reeks of a lack of self-awareness.  Writing all of those lyrics gave us Stupid Hoe and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  So good for you?

joseline-drinking

The night became more flawless with a male R&B group reunion of sorts featuring Troop, Color Me Badd, and Silk!

yas

 

Listen.  I screamed.  I just wasn’t ready.  This was a huge win.  Of course, this led to me wanting a bunch of other groups for it.  All-4-One, Tony Toni Toné, Shai, Blackstreet, Jodeci…  I would have died.

A tribute to Ruby Dee and Maya Angelou orated by Phylicia Rashad was stunning and well done.  This is what I meant when I said that the awards did a much better job of paying real tribute to real people in a respectful way.  Medger Ever’s widow delivered a beautiful speech as well.

The show closed with a YouTube of Beyoncé & Jay-Z performing Partition at their tour.  This isn’t the first time they’ve done this and the disappointment of so many fans was hilarious.  I didn’t pay a ton of attention because I’m seeing them in 2 weeks.

And that’s that?  My favorite performances were Yolanda Adams and Usher.  Seeing Paris Hilton there was hilarious.  Robin Thicke’s “public” plea for Paula Patton is awkward and uncomfortable.

Here are some of my favorite tweets from the night.

https://twitter.com/JamalBillions/status/483439534135189504

Leave your favorite moments!