Fashion

Another Feelings Dump

What’s up y’all?  While I wouldn’t expect a return to regular posting just yet, I do have some stuff on my mind that I need to get out of my system.  So what better place?

This list is not at all in order of importance.

1) Coping (How to Fail at It) featuring Trash

You all have to know what’s going on in Ferguson, MO at this point.  I’m not here to recap it.  I’m not even here to argue the facts.

I don’t have the strength to point out how all of this is because Black people and their lives are denied value in America.

You should already know that no matter what you wear, no matter how many degrees you have, no matter how much you avoid being “stereotypical,” you’re still just another black person.  When the chips are down, you can be shot.  They will get away with it.

We all know that this teenager is going be criminalized and smeared in the media, because any minor discretion is just another reason his life didn’t matter.  You’re constantly going to be reminded that any fault in his character justified his murder.

We all know that clueless assholes are going to idiotic statements.  Newscasters will say to use “water cannons.” The killer will talk about how his life has ended too, even though he’s at home on paid leave.  New Blacks are going to talk about how Black on Black crime and rap music is the cause of all of this.

You’ve already seen someone on your social media try to make it about them with clueless statements, incorrect information, and a general ain’t-shit demeanor.

Truth is, I’m tired.  I’m trying to deal with all of my outrage, my inability to create meaningful change, my inability to protect people I love from the same fate.  There’s not a day where I don’t think, “I’m blessed to be alive.”  I haven’t done anything to deserve it.  But I am.  Instead of productively letting it out, I’m just stewing in my anger and hopelessness.  It’s making me feel ugly inside and preventing me from enjoying the day-to-day.  I don’t want to be around people because all I want to do is talk about it and be angry.  I don’t have the luxury of taking off and being alone until I’m able to face regular society again.  I’m trying to just plow through life in order to sit home in the dark and think about this situation.

There’s no comfort in knowing that no matter what I do, no matter what advice I give my nephew and niece, no matter how many books I read, and no matter how polite I am, my life means nothing if a White person so deems it.

2) Taylor Swift

I haven’t really raged against the Swift in recent moments because she doesn’t really have a song out and she hasn’t been publicly dating anyone.  Not so lucky for me and the rest of the world, she released “Shake It Off.”

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I’m not going to link because she’s not getting a single view on my behalf.

But this is tangent to the first point.  The root of my hatred of Taylor Swift (and Jennifer Aniston) is that for my money they represent peak whiteness. This isn’t a critique of every white person (again, I should not have to say this) but of the dominant American culture.  I’ll let Omarosa take over…

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Where a “wholesome” and “sweet” girl who are just “hassled” are given passes for complete mediocrity because of her perceived girl next door image.  It’s like “Ooh, she’s bland and I can sing better than her.  Give her all my money!” 

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Throw in some questionable appropriation moments and her absolute refusal to sing on key and it’s already terrible.

But this song has a message of “SUCK IT HATAZ” for critiquing her image.  So she’s shaking off any criticism of her bland, mediocre, white bread music and image that appeals to middle-of-the-road, “put-upon”, middle class America. The very same America that is notably quiet whenever an unarmed Black man is killed in cold blood.

For me, this song is the essence of “First World Problems.”  And this is not the day, the week, the month, nor the year for this shit.

Sure, that may seem like a reach for some readers, but think about it this way.  Think back to a time where you felt depressed or upset over something in your life.  Now somebody you don’t particularly like (a coworker or classmate) comes up gloating about their promotion when you know they do nothing or a great exam score on a test where they have cheated.  You wouldn’t have the time for it.

And that’s what this song is to me.  It’s Taylor Swift singing a song that say “nah nah ni boo boo” to all you minorities for not being White.

Fuck.  Her.

3) Reality TV Thoughts

On a lighter note, Project Runway and Top Chef Duels have come to television.  Since So You Think You Can Dance continues to be pretty terrible, I had high hopes for each of these shows.

Project Runway is about as average as any of the other later seasons with some confounding judging thrown in.  Three of first four episodes have handed out wins to questionable garments. Props to Tom & Lorenzo as the source of these photos.  Also, if you love celebrity fashion, Mad Men, Project Runway, or RuPaul’s Drag Race, it behooves you to frequent their site.  Also, read their book!

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The first two are from comeback contestant Amanda.  Fringe really shouldn’t be a thing.  The second two are from Sandhya.  I like the pink look with the metallic detail, but that poorly dyed, ripped shoulder, frayed edge abomination should have at least put her in the bottom.  No thanks.  That said, I do think that there’s some talent in the cast and the judges seem to be making good cuts.  I have hope that someday Michael Kors will come back.

Top Chef Duels is pretty good!  It’s a lot more low-key than your traditional Top Chef, but it brings back familiar faces and gives them space to be creative.  As a huge Gail Simmons fan, I’m glad she’s a part of the show.  I could live without Curtis Stone, but that’s not my decision.  I hope that the show does well and continues to bring back some great chefs.  (Although, go away Mike Isabella.)

Love & Hip Hop Atlanta is finally winding down after a particularly raggedy season.  When Karlie Redd is the source of your most entertaining moments, it’s time to take stock.  Seeing Rasheeda take Kirk back after complete and blatant disrespect for her, their child, his mother, their family, and her image (which is the family business) is not good television.  Seeing Erica and Scrappy be friends is nice for the sake of their daughter, they’ve been complete non-entities since we stopped seeing O’Shea Da Model and The Bambi.  Benzino continues to be neckless and ThiThi is the most obvious case of fame-hungry gold digger we’ve seen since Flavor of Love 3.  Stevie and Joseline’s soap opera relationship is not funny.  Joseline is best when talking shit about other girls, not crying about beefcake and her awful music.  Tammy & Waka are sweet but boring.  Karlie is trash on trash, but at least she gave us more terrible music and Yung Joc’s decision to air our her sexual habits.  Momma Dee & Deb are reliably fun though.

But let’s about Mimi again.  All of Mimi’s struggles, barring the death of her father, are her own doing based on her own choices.  Her absolute refusal to be told that she is wrong only serves to make her look like the weak-willed dingbat that she is. It’s painful to watch her get mad at people when she is forced to reveal her lies.  Like if you don’t want to hear what they have to say, stop going to them.  If you’re going to defend being wrong so vehemently, you’re going to continue to have to eat crow.

To be frank, I’d have cut her off when she accepted Stevie’s car.  Girl, you can’t be over him and accept things that aren’t child support.  Your dependency is showing.

But truth be told, she needs to leave the show.  Nothing has been good for her since it started and now the world knows her for being an idiot who is easily fooled and bought.  Sucks to be you.

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4) The Future Looks Bleak

If you haven’t gathered, I’m not in the happiest of places now.  As cliché and standard as it sounds, I’m used to telling myself that it will all work out. It will all be okay. But these two weeks have reminded me of the feeling of despair that I either ignored or suppressed as a part of the move.  It’s that I don’t know the future and not seeing much in the way of encouragement.  It’s not that I don’t believe God has a plan or that I believe I should have all the answers.  It just seems like I keep waking up to bad news. It’s like a nightmare. I want more than what this is for America and for my friends.  I don’t know how to tell them that, being someone who hates only tolerates melodrama/emotions.

That said, I’ll end this with simply.  I care.  I’m not great at letting people know that.  I may not ever say to your face.  But you’re cared about and I want what’s best for your mind, body, and soul.

Stay safe everyone and do your best to maintain positivity in your days.

White Boo Wednesday!

It’s time to celebrate everyone’s new favorite holiday!

So typically, my type tends to revolve around models and the Dwayne Johnsons. But today we are here to celebrate my vanilla lattes.

Nick Bateman

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Yes.

Chad White

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#heyboo

Cam Gigandet

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So what are you doing tonight?

David Beckham

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Let me sit this aaaaaaaaass…

David Gandy

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Who are your white boos??  Leave a comment with pictures.  I’m looking forward to expanding my roster.

RuPaul’s Drag Race S6, Ep6

This season is just amazing. This was another fantastic episode.

The episode starts with a goodbye to Gia. Oh well…

Darienne continues to show off her jealousy of Dela who is the first queen with two wins this season.

It’s time for the mini-challenge and THE LIBRARY IS OPEN, HUNTY!

These girls continue to show that the talent pool is deep with all the queens (except Laganja) getting off a funny line.

Let’s pause. I mentioned last week that Laganja is reasonably talented and brings strong looks and dance moves to the game. That said, her insecurity and lack of wit is really hurting her here. And her perpetual wounded routine is just unacceptable. SACK UP, HO and compete.

Back to the reads, my favorites were:

  • “Miss Darienne Lake. You should be arrested for animal cruelty. The way you abuse those kitten heels on the runway is absolutely criminal.”
  • “Adore. You know you’re from the West Coast because it’s a three-hour delay before you finally get a joke.”
  • “Darienne Lake. This is a girl that probably sits reverse cowgirl on the toilet just so she has a flat surface to eat off of.”
  • “(Slow) Adore Delano. I am going to say this very slowly so you can understand…you’re dumb.”
  • “Miss Ben Dela Creme. After seeing you in drag, I realize now why Seattle has such a high suicide rate.”
  • “Joslyn Fox. She’s so gay, even her asshole has a lisp.”
  • “I know what you got on your SATs: ketchup.”
  • “Trinity. I believe your smile belongs on season 4. Every day is Shark Week with your grill.”
  • “Laganja, before you attempt another death drop, why don’t you do the reverse and drop dead?!”

I would have gone with Bianca, but Ru chooses Darienne Lake as the winner of the mini challenge.

Ru then announces that the dolls will be rapping in 90’s style rap song called “Oh No, She Betta Don’t!”

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Let me tell you how I would have SLAYED this challenge. This is literally what I’ve been practicing for my entire adult life.  I have a Spotify playlist that is essentially Trina, Khia, Lady, and La Chat music.  Ugh, I’m already living.  This isn’t the first time Ru has had the girls rap (Season 1 finale).

Anyways, Darienne picks Laganja, Bianca, Adore, and Courtney for her team.  This leaves Dela, Trinity, Milk, and Joslyn for the other team.  Dela is a bit offended since she’s the only challenge winner left out, but if anything, Darienne makes herself look worse being the weak link on a strong team of performers.

During prep for the challenge, Laganja tells us that she’s a rapper and a choreographer so this should be up her alley.  I got a kick out of watching Bianca practice the moves.  Adore, at her most drunken and adorable, when she yells that she hates Laganja’s dance moves for this challenge.  That said, this group is way more apt to try this challenge.

Over on the other team, Dela has stepped up as the de facto leader.  Trinity complains again that this is something she doesn’t do.

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Like I told Laganja, SACK UP HO!  This is not a show that cares about your strengths.  Either get in where you fit in, or get out.

The rest of the preparations are uneventful outside of DeLa asking Darienne why she wasn’t picked.  Darienne is salty about Dela’s wins but it seems like jealousy to me.

We jump to the recording session!  Trina and Eve are here to mentor and serve as our guest judges.

Let me just…

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Trash’s favorite Eve song.  Trash’s favorite Trina song.

The only highlight of the recording session is Darienne falling on some trash cans while looking like a Hefty bag.

But let’s to get to the song and 90’s look for the video review.  The song as a whole is really fun and I can’t stop listening to it.

Joslyn Fox – Killed it. I’ve been a fan for several weeks but it’s so good to see her place in the top.  She pulls out the sass for her verse and her look is completely appropriate.  Her makeup is a little dark though.

Ben DelaCreme – Great verse.  Pulled it off way more than I thought she would.  She definitely reminded me of this though.

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Trinity K. Bonet – Her verse is actually not that bad, even though her attitude is trash.  Love the wig she had for the video.  Very Salt/early 90’s Halle Berry.  She was smart to leave the flipper out for the video.

Milk – Her verse doesn’t make a ton of sense, but I thought she acquitted herself well to this challenge.  Her dance was hilarious.  The look wasn’t great though.

Laganja Estranga – No ma’am.  For someone who likes to rap and did a great job in her Cover Gurlz cover, this was weak.  She lost the beat, her verse wasn’t interesting.  I honestly would have put her in the bottom for this.

Darienne Lake – Wow.  This is awful.  Her look is hilarious (see aforementioned Hefty Bag) but she’s not on the beat and her rhymes don’t make any sense.

Bianca Del Rio – Continues to be flawless.  I love her shout out to Left Eye (should have had a condom monocle though!) and her verse used her strengths well.

Adore Delano – Brought it.  Completely nailed the attitude and sass.  Great lines.  Her look was on point.  She just rocked this.

Courtney Act – I actually love her verse.  Her look wasn’t memorable but she did well too.

We jump to the runway and the dolls are informed to be “Crazy, Sexy, Cool” and show off their favorite body part.

Joslyn looks okay, but she desperately needs to step up her wardrobe.  She’s actually very similar to Adore in that she is a young queen who doesn’t have access to greatest costumes.   With a boost of income, I think she could create a more defined persona.  Her body just doesn’t look as great as she think it does.  Dela serves us rich bish in with a snow leopard muff that I enjoy.  I really like her drawn-on beauty mark.  That’s really smart.    Laganja looks stupid. I’ve defended her in prior recaps but she really didn’t bring it here.  Darienne looks pretty but basic.  More Lane Bryant Realness. Trinity looks fabulous, although a bit of padding around her boobs would have hid the boyish-ness of her midsection more.  That said, her face is beat for the gods. Bianca looks incredible and really has toned down her makeup.  This is a queen playing to win.  She still needs to rock a new silhouette.  Courtney comes out with a stunning sleeping bag ensemble, only to reveal a plain pink bikini.  I know that Class loves this look, but I think that the reveal really should have been something more dramatic.  She has a fabulous body, but this isn’t as exciting as it could have been.  Milk is trying to deliver something more feminine.  I didn’t mind this look, but it definitely isn’t her best work.  Adore has continuously stepped up.  I think this is the best she has looked on the runway.  The length on this gown is so short that it reads as mid-length which I think helps.

The judges send Courtney, Dela, and Laganja to safety.  Bianca, Joslyn, and Adore are the top three with the judges calling out Joslyn’s fashions.  Santino continues to be useless, not really understanding Bianca’s video look.  Michelle still hates Adore’s wardrobe but probably needs to let that go.

Darienne, Milk, and Trinity are in the bottom.  Darienne’s terrible rap is critiqued while Trinity makes EVEN MORE EXCUSES.

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So over her.

When we return to the runway, Adore is the winner!  Totally agree.  Her verse was spot on and she really nailed it this week.  Darienne is sent to safety leaving Milk and Trinity to lip sync to Whatta Man by Salt N Pepa f. En Vogue.

Trinity may be completely useless, but she f*cking BROUGHT IT.  When she says she can lip sync, she’s totally correct.  Her concentrated focus and ability to convey sensuality embody the song and she is saved over Milk. To her credit, Milk did an okay lip sync but lacked the connection to the song.  She’s sent home and comes across grateful, a welcome change from noted dumbass Gia.

As more me, I actually would have put Milk in the safe group.  Her verse was not too bad.  My bottom three would have been Trinity, Darienne, and Laganja, with the latter two lip syncing.

In Untucked, the only thing of note is a “letter” from Gia Gunn.  It’s not funny or even really insulting.  If this wonky bitch comes back later, I’m going to throw something.

What did you all think??  Who is going to the finale?  If I had to rank the queens now, it’s look something like this.

1) Bianca – The clear favorite at this point.  Her consistent level of competence means she should be safe until the final 3.
2) Adore – The young upstart.  Her fashions are weak, but she’s shown the she has innate charisma and star quality.
3) Dela – The most wins and a definable character and aesthetic.  If she lets the shade roll off her back, she can push past Michelle’s hateration.
4) Courtney – She’s a flawless beauty.  But she’s going to have to start stepping up in the main challenges in order to not get lapped.
5) Joslyn – I personally want to put Joslyn above Courtney, but her fashion sense is holding her back.  She’s been killing it though.  She’s the spoiler here.
6) Darienne – Clearly has talent and style.  She needs to be more adaptable if she wants to get out of the basement.
7) Trinity – Has 2 talents, look and lip sync.  She isn’t bad at any of the challenges but her personality is going to keep her out of the finale.
8) Laganja – Out of her league at this point.  She simply doesn’t have innate charisma and her special snowflake attitude is just the pits.

Let us know your ranking and thoughts on the episode in the comments or over on Twitter (@ClassNTrashShow).  Bye y’all!

 

 

 

Bracket Madness!

Greetings from the ATL!

I’ve made it down to the South after a crazy and hilarious road trip.  But that’s enough about that.  Let’s talk brackets!

It’s March so we’re gearing up for my two favorite things about the spring.  March Madness & Fug Madness!

March Madness

Now being from North Carolina, college basketball is something of a way of life.  Very few people grow up in the state without strong feelings for one of the Big 4. (Obviously Duke is the best).  So the NCAA tournament is great fun for all.

And I’m sure that you’ve heard about the Billion Dollar Bracket.  Now the Negative Nellies and the Bitter Betties are pointing at the odds and pointing out that you have to share.  Meanwhile, I’m planning out how to spend my billion dollars.

 

 

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While I’m a Duke fan, Wisconsin is my pick for the win.  A billion dollars is on the line.  Hometown pride be damned!

If you want to join in the action, click right here and join in!

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Kidding.  Here’s the actual link.

Fug Madness

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Yes! So The Fug Girls are amazing bloggers/authors who talk celebrities who can’t dress themselves, terrible movies, magazine covers,and runway shows.  Their wit and sense of humor is always fun and I’ve been reading them since the days of the Peldons, Bai Ling, and Phoebe Price.  Follow them on Twitter here.  Also check out their books Spoiled and Messy which are both great reads.

But the best part of the year is their March Madness style tournament that decides the worst dressed celebrity of each year.  You’d be shocked how fun it is to vote and root for your “favorites”.  You vote based on the terrible ensembles and the comments section leads to a lot of back and forth.  Does Nicki Minaj dressing like a Fruit Loop count for more than Gwyneth Paltrow looking smug on the red carpet?  It’s your job to decide.  Fill out your bracket and prepare to lose to me! Miley is the heavy favorite to take it this year.

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Are you all looking forward to the tournaments?  Have any fun ideas of your own?  Let us know in the comments section and I look forward to spending my money.

RuPaul’s Drag Race S6, Ep3 Recap

The time has come! For Class and Trash to recap another episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race!

This episode was a hoot.  It started with the two groups meeting each other with shade flying fast and furious.

Bianca’s instant dislike for Gia only makes Trash love her more.  And Gia saying “I don’t like messy queens.  I don’t like cheap queens.  And I don’t like manly queens.”

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I can’t stand her.

For the mini challenge, the queens were told to pair up with a queen from the other group and do a bikini lip sync to Click Clack using the top half of one queen and legs of the other.  I’m not going to lie, I found all of this super amusing.

Trash also thought April’s “Ariel” look was brilliant.  She’s really rising in my estimation.

Trash would have gone with Courtney and Laganja but RuPaul was feeling Adore and Milk’s dance.  Milk’s decision not to tuck might have played a role.  I know you were looking!

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Next, Ru announced that the queens would split into two teams to film horror movies, one from the 60’s and one from the 80’s.  The queens split back into the groups from Episodes 1 & 2, which is a huge mistake on the part of Adore.  The difference in talent between the two groups really is astounding.  Also, how dumb is Gia?  

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Team Milk takes on the 60’s script and all of the queens seem to do incredibly well, with the exception of Miss Trinity K. Bonet.  I hate that I softened my stance on her because she was just a mess this week.  I get that she’s not an actress, but no.  And seriously, she wants to be a Beyoncé impersonator?????

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Bianca was absolutely correct in that you can perform as an artist, but to build an entire stage show around it, you have to have the resemblance.  Chad Michaels looks like Cher in makeup.  That’s why she’s so successful and that’s the appeal of that type of show.  With all the Beyoncé worship, lack of charisma, and cancelled barbecue, Trinity really is Tyra Sanchez.  We know it’s you, you can’t win again!

Bianca killed it. Courtney brought it. Darienne was fabulous. Milk was good as well.

Joslyn blew me away actually.  Trash was expecting some Tatianna realness from her, and she really was shockingly good in the skit. Granted, it was a ditzy queen playing a ditzy character, but I want to see more from her now.

Team Adore was tragic.  The group went on stage with no full run-through.  Tragic.  Poor April was cast as the butch character which was not a good idea.  Vivacious should have played this part.  Laganja was not bad.  Gia were middling at best and her beige lip gloss looked dumb.  Adore didn’t know her lines.  Vivacious’ “Lie-za Minnelli LIES!” was great.  A shame about her awful performance in the box though.

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The shining star here was Ben DelaCreme who really shines when compared to these scrubs.  She’s got the goods to go the distance.

Another Gia is the worst moment.  “I found it funny that theirs was in black and white and ours was in color.”

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Let’s talk about the runway (the theme was your best drag).  The guest judges were Lena Headey and Linda Blair who were both super into it and gave great comments.

Bianca gave us exaggerated collar and is clearly working on toning down her clownish makeup.  Trash think she is going to have to show some versatility in her silhouette.

Courtney’s Australian flag gown is fabulous.  WERQ!  She’s flawless.

Joslyn looked so much like Tatianna on the runway.  Trash loved the dress but it was super bland.

Trinity’s tangerine gown is pretty, but a little cheap looking.  You could also see her bra.  Rookie mistake.

Milk wore another super interesting look with a Pinocchio-nose.  Trash didn’t love it, but you are not going to forget a queen like that.  And that was her intent.

Darienne’s wings were lovely and I think she really made it shine.  The dress itself was a little shapeless but it worked for her.  Her face is always super beat.

April Carrion’s rainy day realness???

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She really got all of my attention.  She looked incredible.

Laganja looked incredible as well.  The butterfly fascinator was stunning and her face was beat for the gods.

Gia looked ridiculous. She has too much mouth, no sense of humor, and that look was stupid.  It wasn’t interesting.  It wasn’t pretty. And her padding was raggedy.  She can go now.

Adore looked okay enough, but it was nothing special.  Trash liked her eye makeup.  That said, when RuPaul told her “Stars put in the work!” she was right on the money.

Ben DeLaCreme looked cute in her hot pink one piece.  I like that she pads super curvy.

Vivacious?

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Yeah…no.

So Team Milk won in what had to be the most obvious win in the show’s history.  Darienne won the challenge for her work as the head.  I probably would have gone with Courtney, but I’m not mad at her at all.

Adore, April, and Vivacious received the harshest critiques and for the second week in a row, Adore is saved from the lip sync.  Now, Trash loves Ru, but this wasn’t the move. Adore’s natural obnoxiousness may have worked for the role, but neither her look or acting was impressive.  April’s runway should have saved her from the bottom two.

But April & Vivacious face of to “Shake It Up” by Selena Gomez.

RuPaul was getting her life though and both girls brought it.  April won the lip sync and Vivacious the dinosaur sashayed away.  This was definitely the right decision.

What did Class think? I’m much more simpler in my thoughts.

Vivacious girl. WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU AND HOW DARE YOU?!?! I hope she went home and burned that thing. You better SERVE at the finale. Did she think that was REALLY cute? She looked like Reptar from the Rugrats. No ma’am.

Bianca is my new favorite. She better come for Adore’s cheap ass wig. YAAAAASSSSS!  As a matter of fact…Adore take your happy ass home. I tried to like you but you think you’re are better than you ACTUALLY are. Girl BYE! And Courtney (while boring) still gets the Hey boo (wink…call me) of the week.

All in all, this was another fantastic episode and we laughed all through it.  Let us know your thoughts in your comments below or on Twitter!  Let’s discuss!