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dusting

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Needless to say, the final weeks of 2014 were a bust in several ways.  There were things to discuss, but nothing was positive and our drafts listing is filled with half-written posts.  But it’s a new year and I’ve decided to dive back in as a manner of expressing myself again. So let’s talk.

What’s Yo (Relationship) Status at the Bank?
Guess who happens to still be single in the most vivid way imaginable?

thisguy

Over the course of the holidays, it was almost as if everything I did involved hanging with couples, listening to the drama between couples, or getting advice on how to end up in a couple.  It was harsh to say the least.

Even worse, I realized that my type is still relatively elusive.  While Class may try to act like my requirements for dating are obscure, they are actually not that bad.  But the two requirements that are most important to me seem to be the hardest to find.  Internally motivated and an interesting conversationalist seem to be rarities these days.  Lacking in these areas render even the most superficially attractive specimen useless in my world.

But the largest obstacle standing in my way is my reluctance to put myself out there.  For many years, it was fear of rejection that held me back.  That I was too big or not attractive enough to be worth anyone’s attention.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’m okay looking.  I’m relatively funny.  I’ve got some things going for me.  Also, I’m Important.

popit

Seriously though, I’ve exhausted my desire to go out.  I’m tired of checking apps and dating sites.  I’m just in this place where I’d rather not be bothered.  That attitude doesn’t fix the situation, but it is where I’m at these days.  We’ll see what changes this year.

On Blackness
This blog isn’t even a year old and we have a full archive on Race Issues.

But it seems 2014 was the year where racists just said “Fuck It” and went hard in the paint to make America miserable unsafe for Black people. I remember back when President Obama was elected, there was a mixed feeling of elation and fear.  One of the biggest lessons I’d learned was that when white people feel a loss of perceived power, they lash out.  No matter what.  Whether it’s getting angry and upset with harsh words and attempts to ruin the victor’s credibility or attempting to utilize the one perceived slight as an example of how hard they have it, it is going to happen.  The only other reaction I’ve ever seen is the defense “I’m not racist, I hate everyone.  Racist comment, racist comment, racist comment.”  That’s probably the worst of all.

But to keep myself from going full-on thesis, here’s Miles Jai:

Here’s Chescaleigh:

Here’s Tre Melvin:

I’m using these as examples because I’m trying to swallow this rage and keep it trucking. But the end result is that people are pissed at the injustice.  And no one cares how much it inconveniences you.  Our lives are at stake.  Until there is real change, there will truly be no peace.

Pettiness and Heartbreaks: Celebrity Style
cph

“Cut that Chinese Pussy Hair off my face. Lol”

When I tell you that Sass and I cackled for hours on end over the Lispy/Fanny Pack brief separation.  But something about this douchey face and the Lol sent me over the moon.

Both of these people truly need to leave their lives off the internet, but for the first time in ages, I laughed at their antics instead of rolling my eyes.  The involvement of Drake. Her tears of melancholy and faux-inspirational Instagrams from the Jhene Aiko playbook of songwriting.  The phrase “Chinese Pussy Hair”.  This is classic.

2014 also saw the breakup of Amber Rose & Wiz Latifah. I like Amber and Wiz is entertaining to look up so hopefully things will be good for their baby.  However, this my friends:

is good times. I love this like I love cheese.

Some Last Minute Jams
Here’s two of my favorite songs.  Leggo!

In The Presence Of Mirrors – PM Dawn

Ugh, love this group so much.  I wore my aunt’s cassette for “Of The Heart, Of the Soul, And of the Cross” out when I borrowed it back in middle/high school.  They have an interesting way of speaking about life and love in a way that’s emotional and masculine if that makes sense.  It’s melodic but it’s funky.  It’s definitely a product of the early 90’s free-for-all music scene. I’ll leave the song’s interpretation up to you, but this song still takes me to a place of wondering who I am and what I’m doing.

Please Don’t Turn Me On – Artful Dodger

With my very public love of Craig David, I don’t think it is surprising that UK Garage music appeals to me. Artful Dodger did some production work on Craig’s first album too, but it wasn’t until much later that I took a dive into his singles. I love the softness of his production, the abundance of harmonies, and his ability to give songs a groove while downplaying the drumbeat. It’s all very lush, if that makes sense.  This song makes me happy.

So what’s happening in your world? Are you looking forward to 2015?

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Let’s Talk: Chris Brown

So although it’s Trashy Thursday, I thought today that I’d hold off on the jams and talk about something that’s been bothering me for a bit.

Normally, you’d see a Chris Brown picture here but you know I don’t really want to go through the efforts of uploading any pictures of him.  Understand? I know you do.

Recently, Chris Brown’s jail stay was extended based on a violation of his parole.  All while his song Loyal has cracked the top 10 on Billboard’s charts and his collaboration with Kid Ink is also in the top 40 as well.  Despite the album push backs, none of this has affected his sales and record success.  But to be honest, his success post the incident has always felt a little wrong.  I’m going to try and work out why it bothers me so much.

So let’s flashback to 2009.  Now, I will go on record saying that I remember asking what the hell happened to cause the whole situation.  I remember saying that Chris Brown is terrible and thinking that Rihanna had to have done something for the violence to go that far.  I regret that I may have blamed her or insinuated that she deserved it.

However, my issue with Lispy is not that actual attack even though it was terrible.  It really boils down to the three issues.

1) He Keeps Fucking Up

Now far be it from me to try and psychoanalyze someone far richer and far more famous than me.  But let’s keep it real.  Chris Brown keep getting himself into situations where the police seem to show up.  The DC situation, the window at Good Morning America, the valet situation, and the fight with Drake with the bottles… you know just to name a few.  It might be different if there was only one or two instances, but I didn’t even give you a comprehensive list.

When you’re attempting to change your image and prove that you’re not a bad guy, you would think that you would ALWAYS let your bodyguard handle things.  If you feel yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation.  It’s not that he doesn’t have a right to get angry, but part of being a celebrity is working on your image.  His continued fuckery seriously hampers my ability to give him another shot.

Take an example.  I’m a celebrity with about 3 DUIs.  Do I

a) Drive myself everywhere knowing I’m hitting the club? or

b) Hire a personal driver?

I would think the answer is clear.

2) These Songs…

One of the biggest defenses that I’ve seen mounted is that we should ignore his personal life and just focus on the music. So let’s just talk about a few Lispy songs.

(Spotify pays artists the least, so there’s that.)

Loyal has a catchy beat and in the cluh, you probably can catch me doing a cute two-step to it.  But the thing about this song is that it’s a song for men who hate women and want to impress their friends.  He’s insulting the very women who he’s taking home for not being loyal to their regular menfolk because a star is hitting on them.

Like I’m spending my money and time on this lady in the club because I’m interested in her, but she’s not loyal so watch out!

2

And the thing about it is that now you basic ass, trifling ass dudes think that this somehow applies to your life.  That’s what is dangerous about these songs.  There are people who don’t see this song for what it is, think that they can mistreat women because they aren’t “loyal.”  It perpetuates the inherit distrust and hatred of women that allows people to treat them like objects instead of human beings.

Girl, fuck you.  Like fuck you for this song.

Now generally, I think I that offenses committed prior to meeting a person should be out of scope in relationship decisions barring things that break the law or are genuinely gross.  But this song is not an earnest plea in order to save a relationship.  It’s not a genuine display of emotion.

This song is, simply put, a transparent grab at telling people to just forget about all of the things he’s done and continues to do.  Don’t pay attention to my fuck-ass video proclaiming my love for both Rihanna and Karrueche.  Nope, that parking lot scuffle with Frank Ocean does not exist!

imagination

Like I said in the first point, Lispy keeps fucking up.  These aren’t isolated instances.  These aren’t situations where he’s been pushed beyond a reasonable limit.  So yes I’m going to judge you and I’m going to continue to hate this song.

Even beyond the message, the beat is plodding, his vocals are probably the weakest I’ve heard them, and the lyrics are treacly at best.  Bye ashy.

3) He Has Real Issues

Now it’s come out that Chris has bipolar disorder and experienced sex at a super early age (8 years old).  This is actually legitimately sad and underneath all of his bravado and antics, you can tell that there’s something brewing.  No one just ups and gets kicked out of a rehab facility.  These are not things that should be taken lightly.  And I’m more than sure he’s on a hell of a lot of drugs.

However, he is not going to get the treatment he needs nor is he going to take these diagnoses seriously if there is no real punishment or time allowed to reflect on his past and where he wants to go.  Celebrities tend to develop a sense of invincibility because of the constant adulation they receive, but those who crave being an alpha male tend to jump head first into maintaining that feeling.  You combine this with the old school definition of being a “man” and you have someone who is  blind to any criticism, regardless of how well meaning it may be.

By having continued success and greater acclaim during this time of turmoil, it appears that Chris’s ego has only grown and in a negative way.  He’s finding chart success with songs that are good for young people’s psyches.  He’s deflecting all punishment and critique instead of realizing where his actions have landed him.

While I can’t attribute all of his problems to his fame and success, I do think that they are playing a huge role in him growing up and making better choices.  So to me, his success only exacerbates the problems that he faces.

I just miss fresh face Chris who did Doublemint commercials and sang Yo!  I mean everyone has to grow up and we all face things that shape us as adults, but there’s a darkness to him that I always see even when he’s Harlem shaking and booty quaking in his videos.  I’ve joked that he looks like he would eat your baby these days.  But seriously, do a Google search.  Homey looks cracked out.  He has to get the help he needs if he’s going to prosper and be great.

I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too deep into it.  What do you all think?  Are you on Team Breezy and think the media is out to get him?  Or is he an egomaniac with mediocre songs that can’t get his shit together?  Let me know in the comments and we’ll chat about it.

Let’s end the post with one of my favorite Lispy jams.