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RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7 – Episode 1 RuCap

Welcome back racers!!! I know that I owe you all a ton of Black History Facts, but I will get those to you.  However, our lives has been lacking in sparkle and fabulous since we last saw the ladies of Drag Race. Our long national nightmare has ended with the premiere of Season Seven last night.  Let’s dive on in and see what this set of queens are serving this season.

Miss Fame walks in serving alien goddess. Her face is pretty flawless and she seems confident and put together. She’s the queen that I’m most familiar with through her makeup tutorials.

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Ginger Minj is a tiny plus size queen serving up Oralndo Housewife with her opening look.  I’m interested to see if she can bring it.

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Jaidynn Diore Fierce speaks in fluent catchphrase but is one of the few queens who seems truly lively.  She was one of my favorite in the meet the queens videos by virtue of being one of the few who was memorable in any way.

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Violet Chachki…is super tiny in the waist and is clearly pretty.  That said, she is incredibly shady.  A lot of it seems to be coming for a young, dumb place.

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Max is adorable.  She’s like Milk and Sharon Needles had a baby. I really love her aesthetic.

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Miss Fame is already shady for no reason with some blotting joke related to the newspaper. It’s not that serious, ladies. You just got there.

Katya! I adore her.  She’s from Boston.  She’s the funniest so far. I did really did enjoy her “Come On Muscular Dystrophy!” from the Meet The Queens video because C’mon ____ never gets old.

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That said, I know that we all love Laganja.  It’s so fun to yell “C’mon _______!” But seriously queens, stop it. Everyone can’t c’mon in this 5 minutes span.

Jasmine Masters is so fun to listen to.  But so hard to look at.

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Mrs. Kasha Davis is old school fun. She came across fun in the interview but her look is a bland.

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I have no time for Violet and her constant preening.

Trixie Mattel has such a distinct look.  It’s ugly, but distinct.  I like it.

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Kandy Ho’ has a shit ton of attitude and is mostly boring. She looks like Aubrey O’Day from afar and Serena ChaCha up close.  I don’t see it for her.

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I fucking hate Pearl.  Pearl is a cute enough boy, but I just want him to stop talking. Credit where it’s due, the deep voice “Sup?” was funny.

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Trixie decides she wants to jump on the C’mon Chinstrap! bandwagon.

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Kennedy Davenport can dance her ass off.  She seemed a skosh bland but after getting the Alyssa Edwards seal of approval, I hope that she brings it.

Kennedy Davenport

Sasha Belle is probably the least interesting queen of the bunch.  That wig isn’t working for me, for you, or for her.

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Tempest DuJour’s intro is pretty great.  I wish they hadn’t spoiled the baby dropping bit. I love her campy style.  Kandy Ho tries to throw age shade.  I’m actually tired of her already.

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Let’s talk about how age/weight shade is so tired.  It doesn’t require any creativity or wit.  Bye Kandy.

Ru talks via a creepy baby image but yells ‘Balenciaga!” Ru enters and announces that the first challenge is a fashion week extravaganza.  The ladies will have to showcase two of their best looks, one from the spring collection and one from the fall collection. Jaidynn declares it #TooMuch.

Time for a runway show!

Ginger opens in a magenta sparkly frock.  Very pretty. Her fall look is fabulous.  Leopard and neon is so drag but excecuted well.

Kandy Ho looks dull in yellow lace that doesn’t fit her skin tone. Her fall look with the fur is a good look though.

Max is super campy but pretty. The spring look isn’t fashion forward enough. But then Max SLAYS the winter look.  She also shows off a pretty fabulous runway walk too, which I don’t think anyone would have expected.

Jaidynn looks good, but not in a fashion way.  She wears two jumpsuits ignoring the fall and winter look dictates. Ehhh.

Katya is stunning.  The full fur look is amazing for winter shits all over Kandy No.  Both of her looks do a great job of blending campy while meeting the glamour standards that the show reuqires.  ME thinks she’s a threat.

Miss Kasha is true to her housewife character and has a very drag walk.  Both looks are bland and don’t stand out in any way.

Trixie’s dresses are both super cute.  I didn’t realize how curvy she was. I genuinely like the sequined dress for winter though I don’t think she’ll be winning any awards for her work.

Pearl is obnoxious. Her winter look is actually a great look.  Well executed. Fur for spring is stupid though.  Shut up, Pearl.

Tempest has a sexy gypsy thing going on. I love the quilted poncho for her winter look, but the wig is horrendous.

Miss Fame looks incredible.  Love the red outfit. That gold look with the fascinator? Flawless.

Jasmine is very banjee realness for spring. She has a fondness for showing her abs but I’m not sure it’s coming across feminine. Jasmine is serving purple trenchcoat for winter. It’s…cheap looking.  Like it was made of curtain fabric.

Violet’s look is really creative and good.  Hate that. The tartan look is pretty fabulous though.

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Kennedy looks like Niecy Nash (a point that is brought up by Carson). Her looks are bland but pretty. I love the hair on the winter look but the actual look itself is still not enough to impress.

Sasha…does not have great style instincts. Her “lobster” dress is pretty awful.

Did I mention Alaska was here to give us her Anna Wintour impression? It’s flawless.

“It’s hideous.  I think I’ll put it on the cover.”

The new Pit Crew comes in nude.  Hot redheads are great fun.  Jason and Miles are back looking goodt.

Ru then announces that the queens will need to create a resort wear look that tears away to reveal a nude illusion.  (Shoutout to Carmen Carrera and Trinity K. Bonet!) Jasmine then gives us a great quip with “No Tea, No Shade, No Pink Lemonade!” and tells us Ru wouldn’t like to see some of these ladies naked.  She’s right.

After the break, Trixie makes a good point where she mentions that her look uses none of her natural features in her drag.  Miss Fame gives us another brand lecture.  (My friend is watching live with Katya and she says that you should drink each time she says brand. Don’t die!)

We learn about Tempest’s kids and husband, as well as her weight loss! Aww that’s nice.  Kandy Ho doesn’t know how to sew.  It’s Season 7.  Just lie.

Jasmine has sewn some peacock fabric to two hula hoops and then proceeds to tell us about cocoons and butterflies for approximately 5 minutes.  It’s probably her nerves, but she has to learn to stop talking.  Ru is not impressed.

Trixie then tells us about how her boyfriend’s family doesn’t like drag.  We’ve already gotten way too many sob stories.  Stop it.  Violet and Kandy are really tapping on my nerves.

Katya tells us that she has the body of a 50-year Irish Rock Climber.  My love for her could not be any greater.

Runway Time! (For the third time)

Ru floats down the runway in turquoise (tur-kwazz) peekaboo look and looks incredible.  Michelle visage is back and dressed like an ice skater.  Carson Kressly is here and I love him.  Ross Matthews is here also.

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Kathy Griffin is here with bad makeup and fur.  Love her!

NOW SISSY THAT WALK!

Katya scomes out in all red fringe.  Her idea to use the hair is a great job.  Flashing her asshole, may work. May not. I’m going to guess not.

Kasha Davis does a great job of portraying confidence.  There’s a lot of shade from the judges.

Sasha Belle flops with a the black bra instead of nude.  The look is tacky and bland. Think Jinxx on a very bad day.

Miss Fame looks great in turquoise and her body looks spectacular.

Kennedy Davenport does a great job selling a mediocre outfit.  Love those wings.

Tempest’s look is so so bad.  The crab belt is bad. The makeup is also bad. When I watched this on my phone, I didn’t think it was so bad, but on my TV? No gawd.

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Trixie’s tennis outfit is odd. But the outlines of her outfit fir her Barbie brand. Pearl has such a good look but her walk and attitude suck.  Her tuck needs some work as well. Max! I love the crutches. She’s putting on too much of a show, but I like where her mind is. Ginger is great fun.  I like her in yellow and I think that she really has the skills.  She’s a front runner.

Jasmine…has hula hoops.  I like the longer hair and actually like the fringe outfit.  Her makeup is also better than in previous runways. Kandy has a good body and bad contouring. Jaidynn’s outfit is fabulous and a much better showing that the runway challenge.  Love her! Show us how sexy you is! Violet has the skills and the dress is a fun nod to Southern dressing.  Padding really does help.  Skinny isn’t exactly feminine.

Judging time!

Our safe queens: Ginger, Jaidynn, Pearl, Kasha, Katya, Max, and Trixie.  No surprises here.

Sasha is not polished.  She’s saying she confused the assignment.  But really it just wasn’t put together well. Tempest looks so so bad on the runway.

That wig.

Those wrinkles.

Jasmine gets mixed reviews but it’s clear the judges like her.  The fringe and her purple raincoat are read. Poor thing. Michelle calls out Kandy’s contour and I’m so glad we’re on the same page.  Bye ashy! Her ugly tunic thing is also a tragedy.

Miss Fame is going to suffer from high expectations. But her work was superb this week. Kennedy is in the top! Her presentation definitely saved her look. Violet killed it with the fall look.  Michelle and I continue to be on the same page by saying that we don’t see it for Violet’s boy body. Kathy Griffin disagrees and it’s clear that Michelle isn’t featuring it.

Oh shit! We have some shady shade right now.  Ru asks who is least impressive amongst the queens.

Sasha – Pearl

Fame – Jaidynn

Kennedy – Trixie

Tempest – Ginger

Jasmine – Sasha

Kandy – Tempest

Violet – Sasha

Tempest calls out Kandy for calling her old.  Kandy looks like Elmer Fudd from the side. Sasha is pissed that people think she is sloppy as her cheap nylon wig looms at us menacingly.

The judges love Miss Fame and Kennedy.  Costumey is thrown around and I can see that. Violet has the fashion edge that is going to appeal, but showing boy body is always no no.  Courtney got that critique and Violet is no Courtney.

Tempest looked awful.  Her being a costumer is brought up.  Jasmine has this great energy but not enough fabulousness. Kandy is ugly and her spirit is ugly.  Sasha is read for being sloppy and all around raggedy. I still don’t really see it for Ross Matthews, but I will give him the beard joke.

Ru calls Kennedy safe. Violet Chachki wins the first challenge! Werq Atlanta!  Miss Fame and Michelle Visage are livid, but she’s safe. Sasha is somehow safe? I didn’t expect this.

Tempest is in the bottom two which makes sense.  Kandy is boring and has awful makeup.  Jasmine is great fun to talk to and hard to look at.  Jasmine is safe! Kandy is in the bottom.

The two rivals lip sync to “Geronimo,” one of Ru’s lesser songs.  Both of these queens are so so mediocre.  Tempest is…doing the noodle apparently.  Kandy gives us some krumping and due to having a modicum of energy, saves herself.  This is really bad in so many ways.  Do these ladies not prepare?

Katya wins the lip sync when she tells us “I don’t know what that Miss Crab Lady is doing, but all I know is the bearded ho is TURNING IT!” I LOVE HER!

Tempest…to paraphrase Gia Gunn “dances like a man.” This is Honey Mahogany/Vivienne Pinay level terrible.,

Tempest sadly leaves us looking the hottest of messes. Wait they have to hold a Ru doll when they leave. Clever marketing though!

So what did you all think?  Any favorites yet?  If you can’t tell, I’m living for Katya.  This set seems especially shady and fashion heavy.  It’s my hope that the season gives us all that we need.  I would recap Untucked but shit, it’s on YouTube. Watch it below!

Bloggity Blog Blog

Hey y’all!!!

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It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Needless to say, the final weeks of 2014 were a bust in several ways.  There were things to discuss, but nothing was positive and our drafts listing is filled with half-written posts.  But it’s a new year and I’ve decided to dive back in as a manner of expressing myself again. So let’s talk.

What’s Yo (Relationship) Status at the Bank?
Guess who happens to still be single in the most vivid way imaginable?

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Over the course of the holidays, it was almost as if everything I did involved hanging with couples, listening to the drama between couples, or getting advice on how to end up in a couple.  It was harsh to say the least.

Even worse, I realized that my type is still relatively elusive.  While Class may try to act like my requirements for dating are obscure, they are actually not that bad.  But the two requirements that are most important to me seem to be the hardest to find.  Internally motivated and an interesting conversationalist seem to be rarities these days.  Lacking in these areas render even the most superficially attractive specimen useless in my world.

But the largest obstacle standing in my way is my reluctance to put myself out there.  For many years, it was fear of rejection that held me back.  That I was too big or not attractive enough to be worth anyone’s attention.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’m okay looking.  I’m relatively funny.  I’ve got some things going for me.  Also, I’m Important.

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Seriously though, I’ve exhausted my desire to go out.  I’m tired of checking apps and dating sites.  I’m just in this place where I’d rather not be bothered.  That attitude doesn’t fix the situation, but it is where I’m at these days.  We’ll see what changes this year.

On Blackness
This blog isn’t even a year old and we have a full archive on Race Issues.

But it seems 2014 was the year where racists just said “Fuck It” and went hard in the paint to make America miserable unsafe for Black people. I remember back when President Obama was elected, there was a mixed feeling of elation and fear.  One of the biggest lessons I’d learned was that when white people feel a loss of perceived power, they lash out.  No matter what.  Whether it’s getting angry and upset with harsh words and attempts to ruin the victor’s credibility or attempting to utilize the one perceived slight as an example of how hard they have it, it is going to happen.  The only other reaction I’ve ever seen is the defense “I’m not racist, I hate everyone.  Racist comment, racist comment, racist comment.”  That’s probably the worst of all.

But to keep myself from going full-on thesis, here’s Miles Jai:

Here’s Chescaleigh:

Here’s Tre Melvin:

I’m using these as examples because I’m trying to swallow this rage and keep it trucking. But the end result is that people are pissed at the injustice.  And no one cares how much it inconveniences you.  Our lives are at stake.  Until there is real change, there will truly be no peace.

Pettiness and Heartbreaks: Celebrity Style
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“Cut that Chinese Pussy Hair off my face. Lol”

When I tell you that Sass and I cackled for hours on end over the Lispy/Fanny Pack brief separation.  But something about this douchey face and the Lol sent me over the moon.

Both of these people truly need to leave their lives off the internet, but for the first time in ages, I laughed at their antics instead of rolling my eyes.  The involvement of Drake. Her tears of melancholy and faux-inspirational Instagrams from the Jhene Aiko playbook of songwriting.  The phrase “Chinese Pussy Hair”.  This is classic.

2014 also saw the breakup of Amber Rose & Wiz Latifah. I like Amber and Wiz is entertaining to look up so hopefully things will be good for their baby.  However, this my friends:

is good times. I love this like I love cheese.

Some Last Minute Jams
Here’s two of my favorite songs.  Leggo!

In The Presence Of Mirrors – PM Dawn

Ugh, love this group so much.  I wore my aunt’s cassette for “Of The Heart, Of the Soul, And of the Cross” out when I borrowed it back in middle/high school.  They have an interesting way of speaking about life and love in a way that’s emotional and masculine if that makes sense.  It’s melodic but it’s funky.  It’s definitely a product of the early 90’s free-for-all music scene. I’ll leave the song’s interpretation up to you, but this song still takes me to a place of wondering who I am and what I’m doing.

Please Don’t Turn Me On – Artful Dodger

With my very public love of Craig David, I don’t think it is surprising that UK Garage music appeals to me. Artful Dodger did some production work on Craig’s first album too, but it wasn’t until much later that I took a dive into his singles. I love the softness of his production, the abundance of harmonies, and his ability to give songs a groove while downplaying the drumbeat. It’s all very lush, if that makes sense.  This song makes me happy.

So what’s happening in your world? Are you looking forward to 2015?

Let’s Talk

Hey folks, it’s November.  Trash’s favorite month of the year!  But it seems like the past few weeks have been full of things that piss me off.  Let’s discuss.

Social Media Trash
Now one thing you all know is that Tumblr and Instagram are sites where people have absolutely no couth.  There are blogs out there specifically for posting Catfish’ed nudes.  We constantly see “Post Bad Bitches” accounts.  It’s a part of life that is treated with stunning regularity.  What’s worse is that people are now using these platforms to “communicate” with other participants.  Let’s talk about one specific instance I saw this week.

While scrolling through the Tumblr, I saw an ask.  And I quote

“I think that Jordan Calloway is DL.  I dm’ed him a picture of me playing with myself and he didn’t respond.  And I’M A 10!!!! So he has to be gay!”

Now for those of you who don’t know who Jordan Calloway is, he was in that Drumline 2 movie and looks like this:

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So you know, I can understand being a little thirsty.  However, what I do not understand is your snap judgment of his sexuality based on your irrational decision to send someone you don’t know footage of your vagina monologues.

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WHO IS RAISING YOU?

Seriously, I get that there is a feeling of “intimacy” because we can now “interact” with celebrities and even fine ass regular people via these platforms. But what I don’t get is this sense of entitlement that suggests they have to respond to you no matter what you send.  If you think they are attractive, that means they are OBVIOUSLY attracted to you and are willing to spend their time interacting with a nameless, faceless other. This is regardless of sexuality.  They don’t owe you a laundry list of their sexual preferences or histories.   They don’t owe you nude photos.  They don’t owe you anything.

THEY DON’T KNOW YOU!

Someone told that youngest Jenner girl they wanted to eat chocolate pudding out of her behind.  At the age of 16.  You know that you all don’t have to actually say these things to these people.

I’ll fully admit that I stay creeping.  I’m all about that screenshot/right click + save as lifestyle.

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But what I’m not doing is badgering people with my thirst because I was never taught self-control.  Get it together adults.  Make sure these kids know how to act both in real life and on the internet.

Lena Dunham’s “Comedic” Sexual Awakening
I’m going into this having never watched an episode of Girls and only knowing two things about the show.  People either think the show is quirky funny or horribly racist.  And that they used Lady’s “Yankin” on an episode.

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I laugh at that .gif constantly.

But anyway, Lena Dunham, the show’s creator and noted hunchback released her book this year with a problematic passage about her sexual “awakening” in the presence of her younger sister.

I’m not here to defend nor condemn this woman (who has proven that she wants to be treated with kid gloves while praised for her edgy and different she is).  I want to talk about over-sharing.  Most of the praise that I’ve read about Lena’s work is that it truly comes from her life and experiences.  The show may be an obnoxious show about privileged white hipsters but that’s her life and experience.  I recall there being a lot of praise for showing her body which isn’t “Hollywood-sized” as well.

The impression that I’ve always gotten is that she thinks that acting like a little girl is cute and has gotten by with this approach.

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Why else wouldn’t she stand up straight?

When I read that passage and the resulting media explosion, my only thought was why put this in the book?  Why do you we need to know this about you? Again, I gather that she thought this would make her look more quirky and different. Oh, look at this weirdly curious 6 year old girl who just wanted to know what her vagina was doing!  Isn’t that adorable?!

See it’s not.  At least, a 28-year old woman tells the story isn’t.  This is the kind of attention seeking story that she thinks will “totally piss off the stuffy old people of today. I’m so edgy.” When in reality, stories of the sexual awakening of a child aren’t something we as a general public need to know. Curiosity about the body isn’t gross, in and of itself, but putting out it as a light-hearted comedic joke was never going to work.

Now her sister has to live the rest of her life with the world knowing her sibling touched her genitalia, whether it was sexual or not.

She had to know that sharing a story about touching her younger sister’s body was going to get her labeled as a child molester, truth or not.  Her “rage” at the controversy is totally unearned.

You want to tell a story about being a weird 7-year old? Talk about actual events.  (I jumped out of the car after we got in an accident and told a police officer to arrest a man for spilling my soda.)  Talk about interaction with your family. (I was given a puppy by my father and proceeded to walk away saying that I asked for a Nintendo.) There are some things that just don’t need to be said because no matter the context, it doesn’t read well.  It speaks to her lack of maturity and refusal to take responsibility for her own actions.

Her editors didn’t think this would be a scandal.  But I guess it got people talking about her book, so there’s that.

(Seriously, she’s 28? Someone get her a multi-vitamin or a spa day. Girl looks rough.)

What are your thoughts?  Are you the one sending nasty pics to Tyga’s DM’s?  How dumb is Lena Dunham? Let me know in the comments.

Trashy Thursday is Back!

And it’s time, it’s time, it’s time to pay tribute to my patron saint, my guiding light, my spirit animal!

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Tiffany “Miss New York” Pollard

Let’s go back.  All the way to the year 2006.  Flavor Flav aka Foofy Foofy had just had his heart broken by Brigitte Nielsen.   So he turned to the only thing that could heal his pain.  Reality TV!  I’ll save the rest of my summary of the first episode.  But it introduced us to my queen and my diva, MISS NEW YORK.

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Listen.  This woman is life-changing.  She’s so iconic.  She is why reality television was invented.

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Look at her.  Look at that heavy eye makeup.  That flower.  She’s amazing.

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If you recall, New York won a roller skating date with The Foofster.  (“He’s a man, not a Foofy!”)  Her titties swinging low like so many chariots.

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During the first episode after Goldie’s upchuck adventures, New York comes in to greet the ladies having breakfast.

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“Good Morning! Good Morning.  Good Morning.  (To Rain) Not you, you can choke!”

New York on New York.

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Who doesn’t tell themselves that every morning?  It’s a mantra for all of us.

But then, STRIFE! Hottie tried it.

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And now legendary quote number 11?

Excuse the video quality, but I didn’t want to give too much away from the recap.

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“You fucking look like Luther Vandross!!!” Listen if you didn’t love her by this point, you were watching the entire show incorrectly.

More adventures in New York vs. Hottie:

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New York’s first time uttering her signature line.  Like she was eating her steak.  And loving it!

More knifery:

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This was near the end of Season 1 when New York shares a group date with Goldie.  Prior to this meal, we got this brilliant line:

“Goldie is a CUTE girl.  But cute next to gorgeous?  Gorgeous devours cute.”

But then Goldie came in playing to win and snatched that night cap!  Oops.

But New York continued in the competition! And boy, the final 3 episode.  Jesus!

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New York: “Slap me, you bi***” 

Pumkin: ::gross spit::

New York: YOU MOTHER F*CKING WHORE!!!! ::pushes Pumkin::

“YOU’RE GOING TO SPIT IN MY FAAAAACE.  BECAUSE I’M STAYING IN THE HOUSE AND YOU’RE NOOOOOOOT!”

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So we know that she lost.  ::ugly cry:: But then the finale.

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Look at this introduction.  LOOK AT THAT COUNTDOWN!

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firstnight

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She did ALL of these things.  Was she super dramatic?  Could it have been acting?

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Now, some highlights from Season Two.

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Like Brigitte in Season 1, New York was brought back with a lower quality weave and inflated sense of superiority.

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Oops, sorry about that Buckwild!

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Welp! She’s not wrong.

But I have to stop.  This honestly could go on for years and I have to go be productive.

Also, share some of your absolute favorite New York moments.  I’m still working on my Flavor of Love recap which is why I didn’t go in to excruciating detail.  But you just know that she’s iconic and she is who inspires me.

 

“You know what? I just fucked up your date!”

Byeeeeee!

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(All gifs courtesy of Rich Juzwiak & RealityTVGifs.)

Quickie Post: You Don’t Know

Good Morning All and Happy Friday!

I just had to come to you really quick this morning just to get this out.  I was perusing Twitter this morning and came across a tweet essentially judging people for tweeting about getting drunk or turning up on the weekend.  Essentially bragging that “I don’t have to escape my life because I’m so great and you all are miserable because you’re not on my level.”

GIRL SHUT UP!

I’ve written about people who use social media with a tone of pure condescension.  There really is a way to talk about yourself and your accomplishments without coming across as judgmental.  You don’t have to try and make people feel small in order to build yourself up.

But really, what I wanted to say is that you don’t know what people are going through.  You don’t know why people need to take a break or escape from the current moment.  You don’t realize the things that people don’t put online.  By being dismissive of what people are trying to do with their weekend and their money. you could be making a bad situation worse.

If you don’t have nothing nice to say, just shut the fuck up.

That’s all.

 

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ByeAshy

RuPaul’s Drag Race S6, Ep12 Recap

Trash is back, y’all!  Sorry about the lack of detailed recap last week. Let’s get into it.

The top 3 and freaking Darienne Lake return after Dela was so rudely sent home.

Bianca applauds Adore’s victory while Courtney serves up shade.  She didn’t see it for Adore’s looks or Bianca’s silhouette sameness.  I can’t disagree with her here, but she wasn’t any better.

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Bianca: “Not today, Satan! Not today!” 

We’re back in the workroom with the top 4 and Ru tells them to Sissy That Walk!  Michelle Visage enters and calls herself Ben DelaCreme.  Too soon.  Too soon.  We’re making a music video and there’s “sissy-ography” and acting.  Let’s hurry up and get to the taping.

Choreographer Jamaal Sims walks in to help them learn to bodyroll and Darienne gives us a fantastic Wendy Williams impression.  Well done!

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Courtney kills it.  Adore is okay.  Bianca is not in touch with her body rolls.  Come on, bitch!  Darienne’s dance moves have not improved from Shade the Rusical or the Oh No, She Better Don’t video.

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During Ru’s chats, she encourages Courtney to be more human and “realistic”.  Ru talks to Darienne about getting kicked out of her house and learning to love herself.  Ru praises Bianca for being prepared for the show.  It’s obvious that Ru adores Bianca.  Finally, Adore and Ru discuss her mother.  Ru also mentions the lack of relationship with his father.  Adore discusses the insecurities that arise from that and Ru serves all of the encouragement.  This is a lovely segment but I don’t watch the show for loveliness.

Back in the workroom, Courtney doesn’t seem to get that she needs to appear rattled.  I mentioned this is my how to win at reality shows post.  Bianca and Courtney contemplate final runway attire while Adore defends her lack of style.

Sissy-ography time!  Adore and Darienne flop in the group filming.  Courtney and Adore are way better on the treadmill.  Cut to Adore: “BITCH JUST STOLE MY MFING MOVE!!!!!” It didn’t merit that much of reaction.

Acting with Mathu! Everyone does fine.  It’s not as funny as they thought this would be.  It’s all a little meh… Adore looks disturbingly like Jessica Wild in the dramatic scene.

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“I…love… this drink!” 

Runway prep! Courtney reveals that she didn’t like Adore at the beginning.  Darienne “knew of” Courtney but now she things that she is sweet.  Bianca didn’t see it for Adore when she was associated with Laganja.  But she revealed herself to be sharper than realized and now they get along.  Courtney calls Bianca out for joking around.  It’s all very sweet and blah…

blahblah

We’re finally on to the runway!  Maybe something interesting will happen.  I do love when Michelle wears her hair down.

Adore looks okay.  And cheap.  And she’s not cinched and after weeks of wearing  Bianca’s corset, it shows.  While she looks better than she did in the earlier episodes, it shows that her style is limited.  Bianca Del Rio still looks gorgeous.  The gown fits well and has lovely accents.  But the timing after the sapphire challenge takes some of the effect away.  I think she should have gone with the hooded look we saw in the workroom.  Courtney looks stunning.  Being absolutely gorgeous always helps.  I can’t help but think this is surprisingly standard.  Darienne looks great.  I’m come to the conclusion that she’s never going to get the length right but she looks beautiful from wig to shin.

I feel like I wanted to see a bit more from these queens.  Although thinking back on the past finales, only Bebe Zahara Benet and Roxxxy Andrews’ (vomit) looks struck me as their best drag.

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(Source: Tom And Lorenzo)

Adore: Santino praises her dress and makeup.  Michelle likes her acting and dancing.

Bianca: Michelle loves her being a little sexy and rocked every aspect of the video.  She loves the color of the runway gown.

Courtney: Michelle loves the choreography and her runway looks.  Santino didn’t like the props in the emotional scene.

Darienne: Santino loves the lip sync and Michelle loves her look tonight.  The acting is praised outside of a “flatline” in the emotional scene.

Notice that their names are the first 4 letters of the alphabet??  #Conspiracy

We hear about why each girl thinks they should win.  Adore is genuine and bratty.  Bianca peels back a few layers of the onion and makes everyone smile and laugh.  Courtney talks polish and her journey from Australia.  Darienne remembers how Alaska read her competition last season and how well it went over.  She does a good job selling herself and getting in some good-natured reads.

The judges deliberate and they like everyone.  There are minor critiques for each girl but it’s clear that we are not supposed to know who is going home.

A four-way lip sync to Sissy That Walk.  Seems like too many people on the stage, but let’s see.  Lip Sync Death Match! You really can’t see much but they all seem to bring it.

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Darienne Lake is sent home without much fanfare.

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So our final three are Adore Delano, Bianca Del Rio, and Courtney Act!  This episode was super meh but it’s a strong, quality top group.  But we all know that this is Bianca Del Rio’s to win.

Share your thoughts in the comments and I can’t wait until the finale/reunion!

 

 

Winning At Reality Shows

It’s the first post of the week, so let’s just take this slowly.

emmaoverit

So last night was Part 3 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. Now I know that Class is working on his grades of the housewives’ performance this season, but I want to talk about it from a different perspective. I have watched so many (I mean SO MANY) reality shows over the years.  The people on these shows are not normal people and we aren’t to treat them as such.  They are performing in the vein of showing a “slice of life.”  But one thing that is clear is that there are still ways to win.

Let’s talk about them using this reunion as our examples.

1) A Well-Timed Apology

Now this is only within the context of a reality show.  People arguing and backbiting, back pedaling and smeagle popping is par for the course.  But occasionally, you have to deploy the greatest deflection technique in a reality star’s arsenal: the apology. You have to know that you’ve done too much.  Being able to say I’m sorry and convey genuine interest in what you’re saying can erase episodes worth of damage.  If you add in a story about how hard you had it growing up, then you’ll be golden. Doing it wrong and you end up showing your ass a la Nene.

When Andy Cohen asked if she was regretful about her homophobic comments, this was the time to apologize and show remorse.  By making light of her “bosses” offense, she cast herself in a hole where she’s offended the largest portion of her fan base.  And with that being the finale, she’s not going to be on air anytime soon to defend herself.  The fact that Kenya is being cheered for over her is not a good position.

2) A Well-Placed Read

Again, when it comes to slice-of-life reality shows, you have to make people want to watch you.  Being funny is the way to do this.  That is the specific appeal of these shows.  Watching horrible people who make us giggle and gives us quotables.  Who doesn’t remember “Who gone check me boo?” and “Close your legs to married men!” 

The best way to win these shows is hide your horrible real-life personality by being someone who is fun to watch.  Getting a positive edit ensures bigger paychecks, primo real estate at reunion shows, and a lot of features in the clip shows.  It also serves as a way to climb your way up the reality show ladder. On the cusp of getting fired?  Read a bish real good and get yourself to the next season.

phaedra

See this?  Regardless of how you feel about the content, Kenya, Phaedra, or Apollo, there is no denying that this moment took the night.  Wigs on the ground, fake booty leaking silicone, make-up ruined.  There was no coming back from this.  It’s so specific and so direct.  Well. Played. Phaedra.

3) Tell The Truth & Have Your Receipts

This is true in life, but especially true on nationally-televised show.  If you lie and get caught, they are going to flashback to it several times.  But if you are going to argue (and you are!), being able to call back to specific arguments and events that can be supported with a sepia-toned clip will help you win every single time.   It’s indisputable.  It’s hilarious.

Kandi Burress is way more entertaining on this show than one would imagine.  At the reunion, she and Nene got into over her blog post.  After discussing the events of the Bailey Bowl, Nene argued that she would never run from a fight.  Kandi pulled up the infamous argument at the wine bar between Nene and Sheree!

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Nene ran out with Sheree calling out a “repo at the Home Depot.”  Kandi called it out and the clip aired.  Shots. Fired.  Flawless victory.

So now that I’ve taught these lessons, share your examples.  What are your rules for reality stars??