requirements

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Hey y’all!!!

dusting

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Needless to say, the final weeks of 2014 were a bust in several ways.  There were things to discuss, but nothing was positive and our drafts listing is filled with half-written posts.  But it’s a new year and I’ve decided to dive back in as a manner of expressing myself again. So let’s talk.

What’s Yo (Relationship) Status at the Bank?
Guess who happens to still be single in the most vivid way imaginable?

thisguy

Over the course of the holidays, it was almost as if everything I did involved hanging with couples, listening to the drama between couples, or getting advice on how to end up in a couple.  It was harsh to say the least.

Even worse, I realized that my type is still relatively elusive.  While Class may try to act like my requirements for dating are obscure, they are actually not that bad.  But the two requirements that are most important to me seem to be the hardest to find.  Internally motivated and an interesting conversationalist seem to be rarities these days.  Lacking in these areas render even the most superficially attractive specimen useless in my world.

But the largest obstacle standing in my way is my reluctance to put myself out there.  For many years, it was fear of rejection that held me back.  That I was too big or not attractive enough to be worth anyone’s attention.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’m okay looking.  I’m relatively funny.  I’ve got some things going for me.  Also, I’m Important.

popit

Seriously though, I’ve exhausted my desire to go out.  I’m tired of checking apps and dating sites.  I’m just in this place where I’d rather not be bothered.  That attitude doesn’t fix the situation, but it is where I’m at these days.  We’ll see what changes this year.

On Blackness
This blog isn’t even a year old and we have a full archive on Race Issues.

But it seems 2014 was the year where racists just said “Fuck It” and went hard in the paint to make America miserable unsafe for Black people. I remember back when President Obama was elected, there was a mixed feeling of elation and fear.  One of the biggest lessons I’d learned was that when white people feel a loss of perceived power, they lash out.  No matter what.  Whether it’s getting angry and upset with harsh words and attempts to ruin the victor’s credibility or attempting to utilize the one perceived slight as an example of how hard they have it, it is going to happen.  The only other reaction I’ve ever seen is the defense “I’m not racist, I hate everyone.  Racist comment, racist comment, racist comment.”  That’s probably the worst of all.

But to keep myself from going full-on thesis, here’s Miles Jai:

Here’s Chescaleigh:

Here’s Tre Melvin:

I’m using these as examples because I’m trying to swallow this rage and keep it trucking. But the end result is that people are pissed at the injustice.  And no one cares how much it inconveniences you.  Our lives are at stake.  Until there is real change, there will truly be no peace.

Pettiness and Heartbreaks: Celebrity Style
cph

“Cut that Chinese Pussy Hair off my face. Lol”

When I tell you that Sass and I cackled for hours on end over the Lispy/Fanny Pack brief separation.  But something about this douchey face and the Lol sent me over the moon.

Both of these people truly need to leave their lives off the internet, but for the first time in ages, I laughed at their antics instead of rolling my eyes.  The involvement of Drake. Her tears of melancholy and faux-inspirational Instagrams from the Jhene Aiko playbook of songwriting.  The phrase “Chinese Pussy Hair”.  This is classic.

2014 also saw the breakup of Amber Rose & Wiz Latifah. I like Amber and Wiz is entertaining to look up so hopefully things will be good for their baby.  However, this my friends:

is good times. I love this like I love cheese.

Some Last Minute Jams
Here’s two of my favorite songs.  Leggo!

In The Presence Of Mirrors – PM Dawn

Ugh, love this group so much.  I wore my aunt’s cassette for “Of The Heart, Of the Soul, And of the Cross” out when I borrowed it back in middle/high school.  They have an interesting way of speaking about life and love in a way that’s emotional and masculine if that makes sense.  It’s melodic but it’s funky.  It’s definitely a product of the early 90’s free-for-all music scene. I’ll leave the song’s interpretation up to you, but this song still takes me to a place of wondering who I am and what I’m doing.

Please Don’t Turn Me On – Artful Dodger

With my very public love of Craig David, I don’t think it is surprising that UK Garage music appeals to me. Artful Dodger did some production work on Craig’s first album too, but it wasn’t until much later that I took a dive into his singles. I love the softness of his production, the abundance of harmonies, and his ability to give songs a groove while downplaying the drumbeat. It’s all very lush, if that makes sense.  This song makes me happy.

So what’s happening in your world? Are you looking forward to 2015?

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You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride

Hey people!

We’re back!  Both Class and I decided to take the long weekend and just relax a bit.  That doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about you.  As a brief update, I went out a bit this weekend, had a cookout at my new place, and ate all my lost weight in food.

cookie

But let’s get back into the dating scene.  I’m currently on the hunt for a boo-thing to spend time with.  I’m not even ashamed to admit that.  I was inspired to sit down and really come up with a list of qualities that I’m looking for.  I thought that I’d share them with you as a means of thinking my way through this process.  So let’s break this down:

Required

1) Nice Teeth

bh1

So seriously, you have to have your teeth in check.  A nice smile is so warm and inviting.  It just makes me want to talk to you and work hard to make someone smile.  Also, the attention to detail paid to teeth is a sign that you pay attention to the things that matter.  At least to me.

2) Positive Attitude

focus

So, I love sarcasm. I love being lazy.  But the truth of the matter is that whenever I do find someone, I really want someone who is willing to help me be better.  Like tell me to go to the gym or go work out with me.  Someone to tell me to study and get up from watching my 20th episode of Fairly Oddparents in a row.  It’s not that I won’t do it by myself, but it’s always nice to feel like you have someone’s support.  Especially as I continue to try and improve myself.

3) Rhythm

dance

I don’t think it’s a secret that I love to dance like Nathaniel. And I need my boo to keep up.  I also love a random dance party which involves me putting on a playlist and getting Janet Jackson around my house.  I need you to join me without even blinking.

4) Intelligence

smart

I’m not saying that you have to be a rocket scientist, but I do want to discuss real issues occasionally.  I want to feel like I can learn something from you and that you can do the same.  Silliness is way more fun when you know there’s some brain power behind it.

5) Sense of Humor

hilarious

I need to laugh, boo!  I want to go joke for joke.  I want to be in stitches when you tell me stories.  Please don’t take yourself so seriously.

This is a non-negotiable.  But honestly, if you can’t laugh together what kind of relationship do you have?

Would Likes

1) My Height or Taller

heights

I’m not a tall man.  I’m average height.  What’s wrong with being close to my height?  This used to be a hard and fast rule for me, but I’m working on being less superficial and therefore, have softened my stance.  It’s still a preference though.

2) Facial Hair

ambrose

Tee Hee, his name is Ambrose Burnside.  Who doesn’t love historical humor??

But seriously, I like a little bit of hair on a dude.  It’s not necessary, but it seriously improves some people’s looks.

3) Independent

independent

Let me be clear.  This is still a requirement, but I’ve moved it down to this section because I’ve loosened a bit on what independent means.  Independent means self-sufficient with a plan for the future.  I want you to have a car and a home, but I understand staying with a relative to save up money for a specific reason.  I understand cost cutting, especially while working on second degrees.

Essentially, I want an adult who is making reasonable adult decisions in order to live a better life.  I don’t have time to be childish.

So I think that this is my list.  I’m sure there are other traits that will come to light later.  What about you all?  What are the non-negotiables for you? What can you live without even if you prefer it.