rage

Let’s Talk

Hey folks, it’s November.  Trash’s favorite month of the year!  But it seems like the past few weeks have been full of things that piss me off.  Let’s discuss.

Social Media Trash
Now one thing you all know is that Tumblr and Instagram are sites where people have absolutely no couth.  There are blogs out there specifically for posting Catfish’ed nudes.  We constantly see “Post Bad Bitches” accounts.  It’s a part of life that is treated with stunning regularity.  What’s worse is that people are now using these platforms to “communicate” with other participants.  Let’s talk about one specific instance I saw this week.

While scrolling through the Tumblr, I saw an ask.  And I quote

“I think that Jordan Calloway is DL.  I dm’ed him a picture of me playing with myself and he didn’t respond.  And I’M A 10!!!! So he has to be gay!”

Now for those of you who don’t know who Jordan Calloway is, he was in that Drumline 2 movie and looks like this:

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So you know, I can understand being a little thirsty.  However, what I do not understand is your snap judgment of his sexuality based on your irrational decision to send someone you don’t know footage of your vagina monologues.

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WHO IS RAISING YOU?

Seriously, I get that there is a feeling of “intimacy” because we can now “interact” with celebrities and even fine ass regular people via these platforms. But what I don’t get is this sense of entitlement that suggests they have to respond to you no matter what you send.  If you think they are attractive, that means they are OBVIOUSLY attracted to you and are willing to spend their time interacting with a nameless, faceless other. This is regardless of sexuality.  They don’t owe you a laundry list of their sexual preferences or histories.   They don’t owe you nude photos.  They don’t owe you anything.

THEY DON’T KNOW YOU!

Someone told that youngest Jenner girl they wanted to eat chocolate pudding out of her behind.  At the age of 16.  You know that you all don’t have to actually say these things to these people.

I’ll fully admit that I stay creeping.  I’m all about that screenshot/right click + save as lifestyle.

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But what I’m not doing is badgering people with my thirst because I was never taught self-control.  Get it together adults.  Make sure these kids know how to act both in real life and on the internet.

Lena Dunham’s “Comedic” Sexual Awakening
I’m going into this having never watched an episode of Girls and only knowing two things about the show.  People either think the show is quirky funny or horribly racist.  And that they used Lady’s “Yankin” on an episode.

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I laugh at that .gif constantly.

But anyway, Lena Dunham, the show’s creator and noted hunchback released her book this year with a problematic passage about her sexual “awakening” in the presence of her younger sister.

I’m not here to defend nor condemn this woman (who has proven that she wants to be treated with kid gloves while praised for her edgy and different she is).  I want to talk about over-sharing.  Most of the praise that I’ve read about Lena’s work is that it truly comes from her life and experiences.  The show may be an obnoxious show about privileged white hipsters but that’s her life and experience.  I recall there being a lot of praise for showing her body which isn’t “Hollywood-sized” as well.

The impression that I’ve always gotten is that she thinks that acting like a little girl is cute and has gotten by with this approach.

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Why else wouldn’t she stand up straight?

When I read that passage and the resulting media explosion, my only thought was why put this in the book?  Why do you we need to know this about you? Again, I gather that she thought this would make her look more quirky and different. Oh, look at this weirdly curious 6 year old girl who just wanted to know what her vagina was doing!  Isn’t that adorable?!

See it’s not.  At least, a 28-year old woman tells the story isn’t.  This is the kind of attention seeking story that she thinks will “totally piss off the stuffy old people of today. I’m so edgy.” When in reality, stories of the sexual awakening of a child aren’t something we as a general public need to know. Curiosity about the body isn’t gross, in and of itself, but putting out it as a light-hearted comedic joke was never going to work.

Now her sister has to live the rest of her life with the world knowing her sibling touched her genitalia, whether it was sexual or not.

She had to know that sharing a story about touching her younger sister’s body was going to get her labeled as a child molester, truth or not.  Her “rage” at the controversy is totally unearned.

You want to tell a story about being a weird 7-year old? Talk about actual events.  (I jumped out of the car after we got in an accident and told a police officer to arrest a man for spilling my soda.)  Talk about interaction with your family. (I was given a puppy by my father and proceeded to walk away saying that I asked for a Nintendo.) There are some things that just don’t need to be said because no matter the context, it doesn’t read well.  It speaks to her lack of maturity and refusal to take responsibility for her own actions.

Her editors didn’t think this would be a scandal.  But I guess it got people talking about her book, so there’s that.

(Seriously, she’s 28? Someone get her a multi-vitamin or a spa day. Girl looks rough.)

What are your thoughts?  Are you the one sending nasty pics to Tyga’s DM’s?  How dumb is Lena Dunham? Let me know in the comments.

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A Hiatus & A Last Word

Hey everyone, this is going to the last post for a bit.  I’ll explain as this post unwinds.

To say that this week has been completely draining would be the understatement of the year.  There’s only so much rage you can feel.  There’s only so many days where you can feel hopeless.  There’s only a few times I’m going to let you tell me that wearing a suit will protect me.  We don’t want to hear any more lies or coverups.

While this blog has been amazing for getting these feelings out, I’m not really in a place to give you the fun stuff that attracted you here in the first place.  It’s not gone forever and there may be a post here or there, but for now, this is a smooth see you later.  But I do want to leave you all with a few mini-playlists to hold you over.  So here goes nothing.

(more…)

Just When You Thought It Was Safe

So Class took the time to listen to that awful mess from Anthony and raised me a Jacquees.

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So I’m listening and I’m like…his voice isn’t as bad as Anthony’s.

::the verse starts::

NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

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Candy Rain with a Rihanna reference…

Who is encouraging these people? Why are there multiple terrible, hideous, off-key, raggedy, renditions of this classic????

We’re not going to be great until this is stopped.

Look for the Class & Trash cover of Candy Rain on iTunes!!!  But again, here is the far superior original to cleanse your palette.

 

Maybe I Don’t Want To Be Your DAMN Friend

You know what pisses my off? Those text messages of “Why don’t we hang out anymore.” “You’re so mean to me.” “You don’t want to be my friend.”

Girl shut UP.

Porsha

First of fucking all, the past few months have ROUGH for me personally. I’m exhausted physically and mentally and frankly. When the weekend hits I like to clean my apartment, drink some wine, and de-stress. Why? BECAUSE BITCH I’M GROWN! Oh and because it is the ONLY time that I get before another horrid week starts. Moral of the story: I don’t have the time to spend MY TIME around people I don’t genuinely give two shits about.

Second of all, thanks for worrying about my well damn being. You are so into yourself that you are only worried about……YOURSELF. So why am I going to waste my precious time listening to you talk about your stupid problems and talk about how great you are when I can be filling out job applications, working out, or napping. Hell I’d rather watch my pinky toenail grow before I step foot in your presence.

Dear bad friends of the world, LEARN TO BE A BETTER FRIEND. If you notice someone you consider to be a “good friend” suddenly change behavior, take the two seconds it take to be concerned for them before you jump to “wah wah wah you don’t like me anymore.”

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OKAY?! OKAY.

What is the lesson today class? STOP SUCKING AT BEING A FRIEND. TAKE STEPS IN LEARNING HOW TO NOT BE A SELF-CENTERED PRICK.

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Woo. Had to get that one out. I’ll try to be better at the Class side of this blog but a bitch is tired.

Happy Friday.

TURN UP.

Or nap…both are great options.

Pull Over! Team Trash is Back!

Woop Woop!

Hey people, I’m finally feeling like myself again.

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Despite my good mood, y’all hoes continue to try the fuck out of it.  Let’s take a look.

“Natural Hair for White Girls”

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Where do I even start at this point?  Like don’t you all ever get tired?  This dumb broad didn’t read this and think, “Oh, I might offend everyone with my malformed attempt at satire?”  She didn’t take any time to actually look at what natural hair means to Black women.

But let’s slow down.  The first “joke” is that she is part of the most statistically oppressed group in America. This is a trap.  What you absolutely never want to do is compare your struggle in an effort to out “oppression” anyone.  Especially as a white woman.  Every person has their individual struggles and every group has a goal that they are working towards.  To recklessly make a joke about being an oppressed white woman without context is dangerous and frankly, irresponsible.

Let me pull a direct quote from this thing.

“We can’t simply refuse to shampoo and condition and get that look in the way that women of color can. This is the face and scalp of black privilege, and if we want a more cohesive society, we need to peel that black scalp back and take a look at the systems that oppress us.”

This ashy ho has somehow interpreted natural hair as not washing or maintaining hair.

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(
Source: RealityTVGifs)

Besides the sheer inanity of this statement, there really is a far worse implication here.  That natural hair as it grows is “dirty” and “unkempt”.  Without knowing it (because obviously she’s too dumb to function as a real member of society), she has insulted all Black women.  With the actual amount of issues black women encounter on a regular basis (included casual insults from other Black people), now is definitely not the time to sound like a slave master arguing the 3/5 rule.

“The two black women I know – Acura and Delicious, coworkers of mine – come into the teachers’ lounge every day with a sense of confidence that I could only hope to one day fake. Where does that proud sista-girl disposition come from? It comes from their exotic manes.”

Acura and Delicious are obviously real coworkers.  She didn’t make these up these “ethnic” names for the sake of insulting stereotypical Black names while also insulting their attitudes.  Why do they get to be proud of who they are?  Why do they get to enjoy their lives?  It can’t be because they worked hard to get their education degrees and obtain employment.  It can’t be because they are happy with who they are.

It must be their “dirty” afros that give the confidence that I so clearly lack because I’m not doing enough in my own life.  They are so exotic and different. I simply can’t accept their choices because it makes them different than me.

neneoverit
(Source: RealityTVGifs)

 

“But, how can I have it? How can I get that ethnic flavor? How can we, as white women, cast off the shackles of the patriarchy and achieve true beauty and agency through the power of natural hair? How can we join in and have a part of that look – the part that is naturally owed to us as women?”

Because these women, Acura and Delicious, are happy ONLY BECAUSE OF THEIR HAIR, I’ve decided that I deserve that same happiness.

newyork

I don’t just deserve it, I’m OWED it because I’m a woman.  Our struggles are EXACTLY the same and the only fix to this is for me to somehow obtain an afro.

Sorry, I have to cut the sarcasm here again.  Though this is “satire”, she still does not get how much she has just marginalized an entire group of people.  To ignore all of the actual challenges that Black women face in an effort to jokingly wonder how white women will ever catch up is so selfish and ignorant.  It truly blows my mind that the phrase “oppressed white lady hair” is actually something she typed.

For YEARS, Black people (women and men) used dangerous chemicals in order to fit in with white people.  Relaxers, weaves, and hot combs are all products used to straighten out the natural curls and kinks of our hair in order to fit the standard.  Shit, Countess Vaughn got incredibly sick because of a lace-front wig.  Madame C.J. Walker became the first Black female millionaire through hair care products.  Your “white” hair is not oppressed.  It served and continues to serve as the absolute standard of beauty for all people.  This is in fact why the natural hair counter-culture developed. Natural hair helps to empower Black women because they are allowed to believe who they are is enough.  The “instructions” that this asshole gives in order to change their look to an afro makes light of Black history and the continued struggle to assimilate into “American” culture.

The next few paragraphs of this fuckshit go on to “instruct” white women to use a combination of motor oil, Vaseline, gasoline, and bleach to strip all of the nutrients out of their hair. Making their hair so fragile and unhealthy is the key to happiness, Black lady style!

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Like I said earlier, the implication here is that the hair that grows out of Black women’s head is unhealthy, weak, and less than ideal.  Don’t forget that it’s all dirty and unkempt!  Pride comes from being a gross Black lady!

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Now listen, I’m a dude.  I’m not a woman with natural hair, so I don’t claim to be an authority on the topic.  But what I do know from discussions with my friends and family is that the power to choose how you want to look is one of the reasons that these women feel confident in themselves.  Their hair is not exotic.  Their hair is not to be mocked in some dumbass “Thought Catalog” blog because you think that you are so clever.  Making jokes about race, especially in light of the past few years, is not easy and not for the stupid.

What this woman has done in an effort to get a few chuckles is reinforce the notion that Black women are unclean and unnatural.  She has implied that Black women should not have the facility to decide how they want to look based on their own merits.  Every decision made is an attempt to embarrass white women.  There is a conspiracy to use their “gross” hair to take over.

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The fact that the editors at a blog called “Thought Catalog” didn’t see the problem with this piece is scary as well.  This was not funny, not informative, and not an opinion that we needed.  To see people defend it and frame Black people as quick to jump to offense lack basic critical reading skills.  I’ve mentioned to a few people that the worst type of racism (for me) is the complacent type who are resistant to change because it makes them uncomfortable.  They would rather not say anything and comfort themselves with the belief that it is “not me” who is being racist and therefore it’s okay.  It’s dangerous and these are the people who block change silently.  I’ll take the KKK over you any fucking day.

In addition, one of the frequent complaints that I’ve heard about feminism is their refusal to acknowledge the difference in the struggle of the minority woman.  The complete disregard of intersectionality has weakened the movement and creates more problems than the group seems to be able to solve.  To me, this article demonstrates the clear amount of disrespect that black feminists complain about.  I’m not even a woman and I’m livid.

What are your thoughts?  Do you think I’m overreacting?  (I’m not.)  Do you think that the post should be removed?  (It should.) Let me know in the comments.  Seriously, I would love to you all weigh in on the issue.

 

Guest Post: Random Musings

Welcome back our diva, Sass!  Here to hit you with another guest post.  Let’s get into it!

In a month that has seen so much good for other people (Trash’s new job, Class’ upcoming play, Kim & Kanye getting the Vogue cover, Chris Brown goes to jail…wait, what?), it’s been a pretty bad one for me.

Full disclosure: I work a job I hate. Like, hate. HATE. HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

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Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful that I have a job, because Sallie Mae doesn’t care either way; those payments are still due. As are rent, utilities, car insurance, and other bills. All due, and they don’t care about anything besides a receiving payment on the correct date. So I’m glad that I can make those payments and be an upstanding member of society, but I wish I was able to do that with a job that didn’t make me physically sick each day. I often come home nauseous with headaches, sleepless nights dreading the next day, etc. It’s a mess.

Over the past nine months or so, I’ve been applying for other jobs to no avail. I end up getting interviews that go nowhere. So what made this month particularly vomit-inducing? Over the past two weeks, I’ve received roughly 15, “Thanks, but no thanks” emails and phone calls in response to my interviews and resume submissions. That much rejection isn’t good for a person! It messes with your mind…just ask Kenya Moore!

The rejection, coupled with the overall disgusting-ness of my job, have put quite a damper on my mood this month. I also don’t have a lot of friends where I live, so I’ve lacked an outlet to blow off steam. It’s a little much right now, and I have to admit that I’m not myself. The feelings of defeat and failure almost choke me every day, leading me to wallow in a pit of despair. Again, I’m not normally like this. I’m the happy, bubbly girl, always up for a good laugh, who is always there to cheer up her friends. Meanwhile, many of my friends don’t care to, or don’t know how to, cheer me up. I haven’t shared my issues with a lot of people, because, like I said, I’m always the happy one. People act like they don’t know how to receive my pain, which causes them to almost dismiss my feelings. And that makes me angry. Very angry.

Here’s the thing: to have a friend, you need to be a friend. If you can come to me, crying about everything from a hang nail to death, then I would like the same. As I’m sitting around crying about feeling defeated, don’t tell me that it’s just because Aunt Flow is approaching and I’ll be fine when my hormones pass. If Aunt Flow was on the way, I would have beat the shit out of someone for saying that, and then peed on them , to literally add insult to injury. Wow, that was aggressive…someone get that girl some medication!

What makes it even worse (in my book anyway), is that it was a woman who said this to me. To belittle a woman’s feelings based on the fact that they’re hormonal is what sexist assholes do to women all the time. I’m not a huge feminist, but I don’t appreciate being belittled or insulted because my genitals resemble a taco more than they do the 14″ long, thick and perfectly shaped Italian sausage that I’m pretty sure I would have if I were a boy

*cue Beyonce. Always cue Beyonce.*

All in all, I’m just writing this just to point out that no matter the reason, gender, race, scale, or nature of your feelings, fears, dreams, aspirations, or doubts they are VALID. They matter. You are entitled to them and they are yours. Never let anyone project to you that anything that you feel is less than important. Don’t drown in your sadness, but don’t let anyone tell you that the reason for your sadness is wrong. Expressing your emotions is always better than internalizing them, so phone a friend. A good one. An understanding one. One that has no problem letting you cry on their left, while pouring shots with their right.

Wait, what?

Step It Up, Parents

Hi Everyone.

I want you to know that Team Trash doesn’t like your kids.

Are they cute?  Sure.

Do they make me smile?  Absolutely.

But I don’t like them.  Don’t leave them with me.

But this post is about your kids.  I recently spent time with my niece and nephew going through their school work.  And it was eye-opening to say the least.

Parents. We have to stop coddling our children.

Let’s break this down.

School gets progressively harder.  All students learn differently.

Hold your children accountable. 

You need to make sure that your child is learning the material and putting in the necessary work to do well.

You need to check their notebooks and folders to make sure they are doing their homework.

You have to ask them about what they are working on.

You need to work with their teachers so that you are an informed parent.

Having taken these steps, you can then start having your children take more ownership.  I know that I was sick of my aunt asking what I learned today, so I told her without being asked.  I hated having to explain every bad grade, so I made sure they didn’t happen.

Teach your children that life is hard.  They can’t cry all the time.  Whining and giving up are not going to fix the situation.  Kids need to know that putting in the hard work early pays in dividends later on in life.  Kids need to have the ability to problem solve.

You can’t force teachers to give them good grades.  Even if the teacher is bad at their job, your child is already in their class.  Don’t let them give up.  Don’t feed their temper tantrums.  Hard work is necessary and is a lesson every person needs to know.

People not teaching this lesson is why young adults think they “deserve” special treatment at work.  Avoiding this lesson blocks them from developing healthy coping skills that you are going to need.

STOP BABYING THEM AND MAKE THEM SWEAT GAHT, DAMMIT!

Sheldon-ThrowsPapers

Okay, I’ve calmed down.

Like I said, I worked with my niece and nephew.  They are both smart kids who are completely capable.  But they are both struggling to deal with the hard work that comes with subjects that don’t come naturally to them.  I found myself in the tough position where I had to be nurturing while being straight up.

So that’s the long and short of it.  Have you run into this in your interactions with kids these days?  Am I being too hard on this generation?  Let me know in the comments.