fake friends

Keep Your Mess To Yourself


Woo hey lovelies!  It’s been a while hasn’t it?  Sorry to leave you without a dope beat to step to, but we’re back.  Let’s get this started with a quick word from our sponsors.

Just for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I could tell you stories of this weekend, but they would only bore you.  So I needed to give you all a quick tip in keeping your life in check.

Tighten it the fuck up!

I swear, how are you all living as adults in 2014 without learning how to keep it together.  I’m so sick of hearing back stories about myself from other people.  I’m sick of you all trying to throw the rock and hide your hand.  You’re not swift enough to stop us from figuring out your game, ashy.  Let’s take two quick scenarios.

So you’re not having a great time because you keep “running into” “old flames” who still “want you.”  Cute for you!  Live your best life and fly above ALL the haters.  But if I don’t know them, I really and truly don’t give a fuck.  By sharing all of your trashy past experiences, no matter what the topic of conversation is, you’re always going to look foolish.  Save your bedroom antics for a sleepover or your therapist.  It doesn’t make you look desirable, it makes you look desperate.

Moving on to number two.  Talking recklessly about people you consider your “friends” and casually spilling tea will get your face sliced.  Or at least your ego.  Here’s the thing.  Freudian slips happen.  Sometimes we’re trying to relate and say too much.  But if all I get from you are snide remarks and late shade, why the hell are we hanging out?

You’re mad you weren’t invited?  The exit is that-a-way! My life doesn’t revolve around you and unless you are paying my bills, you can’t direct my time.  Then to reach into my texts?  With unearned indignity?


Keep it.  Write it in your journal and leave me the hell alone.  Better yet, take those weak reads, pack them up, and send them to the illiterate children of the Third world.  That’s the only way anyone will see them and give a shit.

I don’t know, this came across angrier than I intended.  But it really butters my biscuits to hear someone claim to be a good friend when they have offered nothing but trouble or an obnoxious attitude in the process.

How do you feel about it?  Let me know!



Random Blurbs

Hey People!  It’s Monday!


Kidding of course…

I don’t quite have enough thoughts for a full post but here’s what’s on my mind as the week starts.

Fighting Shade with Shade

But let’s talk about raggedy people.  You know the ones.  That lie in your face with a shit-eating grin.

This weekend I caught wind of a certain bad-bodied trashbox who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and caused a stir.  Or so he thought.  After discussions with Class, we decided to take Kid Fury‘s advice.

Since someone ran their mouth trying to elevate himself, good luck finding that invitation boo!  A Save The Date ain’t an invitation.  Stay pressed and I hope you didn’t buy that bowtie yet.

The lesson here is that when you can never win when you’re dirty. Act with discretion and consideration and people won’t feel the need to play you.

Solange vs. Jay-Z

I know y’all are buzzing and I’m not here to speculate on the causes and effects of this elevator video.


Like what has got Solange so mad?  Twitter has been ablaze with jokes and commentary.  It’s made the day go by way faster.

But what I do know is that you relationships experts with no man and/or woman can keep your mouths shut on the issue.  We don’t need your input on a soundless video.





Now I’m not Rihanna fan but this song has always been a bop!  But the best part of the song has always been when Sean Paul randomly yells, “INSTANTANEOUS” in the background. (3:11 in the video below)

So perfect.

So that’s what’s on my mind?  What are you thinking about today??


Listen.  I’ve had it with selfish people.  I understand that as we age, we tend to become more inwardly focused.  We’re shaping our lives so that we can live them in a manner that we want.

But let’s cut the shit.  I am not about to rearrange my schedule over something minute.  Either you want to hang out or not.  Either you want to celebrate or you don’t.  I don’t care how upset you are, you need to keep your word.

I’ve been guilty many times of simply saying “yes” to things I don’t care about to keep the peace and holding my opinion in order to make sure the people that I’m with have a good time.  It comes from being in a large family with a lot of strong personalities.  I figure as long as I’m with the people I care about, it’s irrelevant what we do.  However, this has led to a lot of one-sided friendships where I’m there for people who do not and will not do the same for me.  And my tolerance is running out rapidly.

If I have something planned, I’m not about to bend it because you don’t want to lose a fucking parking spot.  I’m not about to change my mind because it makes your life slightly more difficult.  No one told you to randomly schedule nonsense when we’ve already decided to do something.  If you decided to stay up until 3 am when we decided to get on the road at 6:30, that’s your own damn fault.


I know that I’m digging into this topic, but I really do not have time for people’s nonsense in 2014. You can’t keep treating people your administrative assistants instead of your friends. If you aren’t willing to make sacrifices for the friends who matter, you are going to end up with no friends willing to make you a priority.

It’s tough because I take friendship seriously and I’m not willing to let a friendship go by the wayside easily.

But step your game up. Act right. And get it together. Otherwise, you’re going to be waiting at the bus stop whole the rest of us ride to Daytona Beach.

How do you all feel about selfish friends? Any suggestions for having that tough conversation? Let us know in the comments.