why

Quickie Post: Lies, Fairy Tales, & Fallacies

So this is real quick since I finally get to go back to Atlanta today!  (Which is really starting to feel like home)

But you know, some of you have to stop lying on these little profiles girl.  Now I’m not as opposed to online dating as Class but I do have many of the same issues he has.

However, ladies and gents, we have to keep it real in these mean online streets.  Put your actual height.  Put your actual weight (not your goal weight or your pre-college weight).  Don’t say you love something that you don’t.  Put up a recent picture.  You know, if you actually want to date someone on these sites, don’t be a disappointment when you meet in person.  My plan is to put up pictures of me at my average (which is to say including what I look like at work) with one picture of me when my genes are on 100.  I also save it for last, because I don’t look like that everyday.  That’s me snatching wigs.  This first pic is the Trash you’re going to see during the week.  And if you like that, you damn sure are going to love when I’m feeling my beat and my bang.

So that’s all.  Have a great one and I WILL be back for Trashy Thursday!

Smooches!

Quickie Post: You’re Going To Leave That There?

Real quick.

You ever heard the phrase, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow.  If it’s brown, flush it down.”?

No. NO NO NO. NO.

Who raised you?  Flush the toilet!  We don’t want to walk in and encounter your waste.  We don’t want an unfortunate accident to happen and it fall into your excrement.

It takes 2 seconds.  You can use your foot.  You can use a paper towel.

FLUSH THE TOILET.

Wash your hands afterwards.  I promise it will be okay.

This has been a public service announcement.