tyra banks

A Tribute: Shake Ya Body

It’s come to my attention that some of you have not paid tribute to the one of the greatest music videos and songs of all time.  Well, we here at Class & Trash will not stand for any slander nor any shade for the iconic and legendary Shake Ya Body by Tyra Banks.  Let’s talk about it.

We start the video with Tyra and Jay Manuel freaking out in the dressing room.  Her long curly blond wig shaking.  We catch April, Yoanna, and Sara strutting on the runway before Tyra RIPS OFF HER WIG in frustration to reveal bright red cornrows.  The drama.  The acting.  You can’t take it.

We get to the pre-chorus is a bop.

Let me see you! Take it slow.
Move your body! Let me know.
Let me see you! Lose control.
Leave it up to me to take control of ya!

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So let me see what you’re working with! Yeah.
I need to see if you move like this. Yeah.
And if you can’t keep up with me, I’ll.  Yeah.
Cuz when it comes to this, I don’t! Play-ahh!

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Yes!  All types of yes.  At this point, you should be bopping your shoulders and flipping your imaginary wig.  The chorus is catchy and you’re dancing in your chair.

The moans with the “Come on, baby!” snatch.

We then get to the second verse & chorus where we get to see Tyra serve you choreography.  Model sexy choreography.  And pop and pop, arm and arm.  Booty shiggle!  We also know that these sensual moves were courtesy of Tony from the episode who gave us the best dance-off ever.

And then Tyra’s iconic microphone lick!  Yes. Yes. Yes.

So then we move to the bridge, which it seriously amazing.  The beat cools down and Tyra’s doing her ad-lib thang over the lyrics wearing a bikini that’s basically a cargo net.  She’s wet and grinding up on the man-candy in the video.

Let me say this
Your body’s callin’ me
I can hear it speak (WOO!)
So let me please you
Just grab my hips real tight
And enjoy the ride
It’s up to you
To make me feel the heat
And let me know if you can keep up with me

The woo is perfect.  PERFECT I TELL YOU!

And then the beat drops and we get the “SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT! OOHOHOHHHHH…” which is flawless.

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At this point, you’ve lost yourself to the song.  You’re popping and twerking and getting right!

But then! Camille, Mercedes, and Shandi close us out with the fabulous choreo by dropping it to the floor and serving you hoes.

And just in case you forgot the greatness that is Yoanna filming her dance sequence.

Yes!  The arms.  The shimmy.  The splat!

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I also didn’t want you to forget Camille’s “talk to the hand” choreography.

I can not let you leave with Mercedes’ forgetting the choreography.

And lastly, April’s herky jerky dancing greatness with Janice’s comments.

Listen, this song is life changing.  The episode is brilliant.  The video is fabulous.

Don’t you ever come for it again!  Share your favorite Shake Ya Body memory or get blocked.

Why I Gave Up On ANTM

One thing you should know about Trash is that I love reality television.  I love the constructs, I love watching them build an edit for a contestant and how it all plays out, and I think there is a lot of cultural value in the manipulation of these stories for our entertainment.  Of course, this does not make them all quality shows but it’s a window into human psyche and how certain cues and attitudes play within society.

One of those insights is that we repeatedly fall into the same traps over and over again.  America LOVES a spunky underdog.  We’d rather see someone try hard with a good attitude over consistent excellence.  We “hate” bitchy people, but we wouldn’t be as engaged in a show without a villain to root against.  These cliches and others are used in all of the best reality shows.

So let’s talk about the most consistent reality show in my life, America’s Next Top Model.

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I have loved Top Model since I first laid eyes on Jade Cole.

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I started watching the show with my friend who would give me a ride back to my off-campus apartment when I didn’t have my car yet.  Jade’s brilliant vocabulary and antics had me hooked!

So wonderful and so fabulous.

From there, I caught up on reruns of the early seasons crying with Kelle over her snout, watching my chest go jiggle shimmy with Robyn, having sex with Italian strangers a la Shandi, and learning about tipsy-top models with Naima.

I even know the choreography to Shake Ya Body!

Wholahay?  I was there.

Check ya thighs out in the mirra? I was there.

Jenna’s Chevy Impala? I was there.

Brasilia?  I was there.

Hi! I’m Kyle! I was there.

I even made it through both All-Star seasons and this season with the mens!  We’re talking dedication here.

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Mostly to Don, but I watched it anyway!

But you know, it took all my strength to realize that I have to stop caving in to the power of Tyra.  This show was once a fun way to spend a hour with fake models doing hilarious challenges.  However crazy, there was always a semblance of reality to some of the things that happened.  There were real designers involved.  Girls went on to at least work in the industry.

This past season, all of the photos were taken on iPads in order to use “Flixel” technology.  It was stupid.

The final runway show for Season 18 was for Forever 21.  It was stupid.

Kelly Cutrone is STILL on the show.  No one likes her.  She isn’t funny.  She isn’t attractive.  She is the worst.

While the show is still entertaining in a way, it is no longer the same hilarious antics that kept us tuned in back in the day.  We no longer have panel challenges.  No more Andre Leon Talley or Janice Dickinson.  It’s a chore to watch each episode because the show stopped trying.  Even when we the fans didn’t take it seriously, it needed to take itself seriously for the show to work.

I remained hopeful that the show would find its ground but it simply hasn’t recovered.  The judging isn’t as spirited.  Even Tyra’s heart isn’t really in it anymore.

I hope that she will let the show end with dignity and then put out the seasons on DVD so that I can enjoy them forever and ever.

But I can’t watch it anymore.  It is just a reminder that I’m getting old and the show has worn out its welcome on the popular culture.

Are there any shows that you’ve had to give up on?  What would you suggest as a replacement??  Let us know in the comments!

Class vs. Trash – Would You Rather Challenge

Hey Girl Heeeeeey! Welcome to our first post with both Class & Trash!  We’re playing Would You Rather!  Let’s get started,

1) Would you rather –  have Fridays off or have Mondays off?

Class – Mondays. Because I turn up at Sunday Funday.  Plus, you can still go out on Friday Night.

Trash – Mondays.  I feel like having a 3-day weekend is always really exciting plus having Monday off means you can catch up on Sunday shows on the DVR.

2) Would you rather – be a clown that distracts the bull or the bull rider on the bull? 

Class – Rides the bull.  Who doesn’t want to be on top?

Trash – Rides the bull.  Because I’m immature and trashy.

3) Would You Rather – have an extra hour every day or have $40 given to you free and clear every day?

Class & Trash – $40.  Are you serious? If you put that in a savings account, you’d still be better off unless you’re Oprah (Happy Birthday!)

Let’s pause here and celebrate the Queen of All Media.

4) Would You Rather – have a photographic memory or be able to forget anything you wanted?

Class – Forget anything you wanted, so that I could forget some of the basic bitches who have come into my life.  BLOOP!

Trash – Have a photographic memory.  I like to remember things as they were plus I feel like having a photographic memory would be amazing for remembering relatives and family moments.

5) Would You Rather – have a missing finger or have an extra toe?

Class & Trash – Toe, you can hide it.

6) Would You Rather – be deaf and have no legs or be blind with no arms?

Class & Trash: Blind with no arms, because we can still hear music and kick the shit out of you.

7) Would You Rather – eat only KFC for a month or eat only Taco Bell for a year?

Class: Taco Bell.  Cheesy Gordita Crunch, WHAAAAAAT!

Trash: Taco Bell.  If this were Bojangles, this would be a different situation.

8) Would You Rather – have a great relationship with terrible sex or a terrible relationship with incredible sex?

Class: Terrible relationship with incredible sex.  Being that we are young and the trend is that people have many marriages.  The first time out, you might as well have some great sex.

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Trash: Great Relationship with terrible sex. I will admit, I’m not typically looking an emotional connection, but at some point the sex would have to get better.

8) Would You Rather – Have sex in a crowded library or in a full classroom?

Class – Full Classroom.  Not MY classroom, but who doesn’t want to hide under the teacher’s desk.

Trash – Crowded Library.  But you can’t be too loud.

9) Would you rather – Share a toothbrush with a random stranger or kiss your brother/sister on the mouth?

Class – Share a toothbrush. I’m not kissing my brother.  Good day.

Trash – Share a toothbrush.  But if the stranger has that killer gonorrhea, everyone has to die.

10) Would you rather – Would you rather eat 30 pounds of cheese or 10 full peanut butter jars with no water?

Class – Peanut Butter.  Slightly healthier. ::blinks::

Trash – Cheese.  But I’m melting it.

Give us your answers down in the comments section or let us know on Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.  Share, like, all that good stuff!

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