television

Let’s Talk: Empire

“Why you marry that white girl?”

                 “We met in school.  She’s brilliant!”

 “All pretty white girls are brilliant.  Even when they ain’t.”

 You all should know me well enough to know that I don’t typically watch shows with plot that requires weekly viewing.  That said, the previews for the show intrigued me and I tuned in to see how I’d like it.

Short Version

Bitch, this was so fucking good! I’m watching it until it goes off the air.

Premise

Take it away, Fox Website!

From Academy Award nominee Lee Daniels (“Lee Daniels’ The Butler,” “Precious”) and Emmy Award winner Danny Strong (“Lee Daniels’ The Butler,” “Game Change”), comes EMPIRE, a sexy and powerful new drama about the head of a music empire whose three sons and ex-wife all battle for his throne.

Long Version

Before we get into the specifics of the show and why it is so effective, let’s talk about framing.

The show works so well because it is so Black.  It is a Black primetime soap opera.  It takes tropes from 70’s Blaxploitation, the rise of 90’s hip hop culture, and the current climate in Black pop culture.  It combines two generations’ “20-Year Nostalgia Cycle” and makes pitch perfect style and setting choices to portray Black culture intersecting in 2015.

It’s not “African-American”.  It’s not “nu Black.” This isn’t a show for Shea Butter Twitter.

Part of the success of the direction is because of director Lee Daniels.  Having a Black gay man who lived through these specific cultural movements creates a lens that places the show squarely in my frame of reference.  The use of one of my all-time favorite YouTube hoodrat classics:

A tacky, sexual song set to a feel-good instrumental?  That’s 2000s (R. Kelly’s Happy People) and 70’s disco cheese right there.  The whole show is full of these blink or you’ll miss it “mash-up” style and cultural references that effectively create the atmosphere.  Having Timbaland do the score for this show is another fantastic choice and an example of how the atmosphere is set.  His music has always been the sound of the today and of the future.  We’ve also built such a relationship with him as a producer that his sound is distinctly 90’s and distinctly today. (Oh hai 20 year Nostalgia cycle!)

The other important aspect of this show is never to forget that it is a soap opera.  Empire has a tawdry feel because it is a soap opera.  The slimy characters and telegraphing of character motivation is essential in this type of show.  Soaps are never about pushing boundaries.  These shows aim to make the audience feel smarter than the producers and then flip or surpass their expectations with drama and plot twists.  It’s key that you as an audience build expectations with a show like this prior to the actual payoff with plot.

Here’s an example: You know Luscious and Jamal (the gay son) don’t get along.  You didn’t realize he was going to throw him a trash can for putting on his mom’s fire red pumps.

Need another? Cookie repeatedly stands up for Jamal for being the only son to visit her in prison.  She becomes his manager and we see several scenes of her being accepting of his sexuality but whenever he’s not around, she uses derogatory language.

Now I could go on and on with all the plot twists the show set up in the Pilot, but that’s not my job.  Take notes, ho!

Casting & Characters

The casting here works brilliantly.  There’s some weak spots in the acting (hey Migos son!) But each cast member has the look and feel of a trope from the nostalgic or current eras being referenced.  Luscious & Cookie’s names are nothing if not pure 70’s experimentation. This was the era where Blacks were able to achieve some manner of success and grew up influenced by the Black Power moment.  Their sons Andre, Jamal, and Hakeem are totally prototypical 90’s Black names. You went to school with guys with those names.

Let’s go a step further.  Terrence Howard is one of the grossest people on the planet in real life and in his movies. Let’s let Patti LaHelle describe it.

Casting him as a greedy, money-hungry slimeball is the exactly what should be happening.  Howard’s history of (alleged) domestic violence works into the framework of the show. He’s almost always wearing silk pajamas (shades of Hugh Hefner) and candy is available in every room (shades of addiction).  The processed hair is such an inspired choice that I could write a whole post on it.  But since this is already long enough, it’s a sign of the respectability politics at play which was encouraged Blacks (like New Money Luscious) to conform to White beauty standards as they worked to climb the corporate ladder (especially in the 70s when wearing a process was akin to being an Uncle Tom).

Taraji, oh Taraji.  Cookie is a role that only she could work.  One of the saddest aspects of Hollywood is the series of bland, lowly roles for Black actresses.  Taraji has an incredible ability to play intelligent women in hard circumstances. She also has an edge, formed by her self-described life in a lower-middle class neighborhood and Historically Black College Education (NC A&T, Howard).  Her roles have capitalized on this upbringing (a touch of hood) in a stereotypical way that may have limited her from greater exposure to mainstream White audiences.  This role takes that stereotype, but ups the ante with better material and a more polished script.  Cookie is always dressed in animal print, gawdy but self-aware.  She’s not a character to take things lying down.  All honors must go to Taraji because she can act her ass off and she does it here.  She’s easily the most exciting part of the show.

The oldest son (Andre) played by uber-hottie and future husband Trai Byers.  The brilliance in his casting is that he is very 90’s handsome. Think of the square-jawed handsomeness of Shemar Moore or the appealing face of Morris Chestnut.  His character’s interracial marriage gives me the disappointment in Taye Diggs’ felt after the announcement of his (alleged and denied) feelings towards Black women.  One of my absolute favorite styling choices only shows up when he’s in the board room.  Whenever the camera pans over the table, he’s always wearing an oddly colored suit in comparison to the other members.  It’s a visual cue that he’s out of place and different from the rest of the table, much like he’s an outcast in his family.

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#heyboo

The middle son (Jamal) is played by super cute Jussie Smollet.  The beauty of his casting is that he is the cute guy that every girl liked in high school.  He wasn’t the most popular and he was a little awkward but that was enough to make him endearing and adorable. This quality only enhances his character’s homosexuality as it renders him a bit unattainable. This stereotype has been around for years, but his Usher-like vocal quality places him squarely in the 90s and early 2000s.

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If you told me that Hakeem (Bryshere Gray) was a member of Rae Sremmurd, I’d believe you. The hair designs, the high-top fade, the way that they dress him in a shiny metallic.  It’s all very now.  Even his character’s music is reminiscent of the current Migos/Young Thug era of party music. The emotional abandonment from both Cookie and Luscious fuel his partying and alcohol as an escape.  His closeness with Jamal is almost a dependency but you can tell that he knows that Jamal is more talented.  I think the dueling projects between the two could provide a great grounding for the more melodramatic qualities of the show.

The supporting cast is too vast for detailed description but I’m sure that as we are introduced to each one and start to learn their motivations, the show will only get more interesting.

Criticism

Alright, let’s do this. I’ve issued nearly universal praise for the show so far. But I do want to temper that this praise is due to the framing of this show as a soap opera.  We want it to tell compelling stories with campy drama, extreme emotion, and a suspension of disbelief.  This is not the real world and it allows for a looser narrative structure and a chance to attack the words and emotions with gusto.  In my opinion, the same can be said for Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, and shows of this ilk.  There may be elements of reality borrowed to legitimize the story, but this is a work of fiction with fictional characters.

I state this because while most of the acting is good, there’s little nuance in the performances. Think about Olivia’s patented lip quiver.  It only works in that context because reactions on Scandal are typically full-scale to make it must-see television.

Actually, last night I discussed the show with Sass who brought up a really good point about the characters being mostly flimsy stereotypes.

“The smart son marries a white girl, Cookie is an aggressive black woman, Luscious was a drug dealer turned rapper.  I haven’t seen a break from the stereotypical black character.”

Because of my love for this episode, I wanted to disagree and even mentioned my thesis that the characters needed to be broad in a soapy manner.  But I could not argue against her because I agreed with that point. These aren’t new characters.  Nothing is breaking new ground at all.  Even 50 Cent’s messy ass had a point about some of the similarities to his show, Power.

I also absolutely HATE that the show is on at the same time as Black-ish. I am so pleased that there are least 4 shows currently on television with Black women in central roles, but to place the two shows with mostly Black casts in the same timeslot?  That’s bullshit.

With that said, I definitely anticipate some people writing essays about how shows like this are bad for Black people. “Setting the race back” is always a concern for the Don Lemons of the world.  I’d argue that the not-so-pleasant portrayal of African-Americans can be beneficial so long as there are positive and neutral examples in the media as well.

As a fan of the Golden & Silver age of Hollywood, I’ve seen many Sidney Poitier movies.  He along with other Black actors and actresses like Dorothy Dandridge and Harry Belafonte worked to only take roles that portrayed Blacks in a positive light.  This was incredibly admirable but it made the roles less interesting, in my opinion.  Poitier plays the same faultless man in so many movies.  This was done to show that the White characters hated him solely because of his race and not his actions.  This was necessary.  This was important.  But I’d argue that none of his roles are as memorable as Dandridge tarting it up a bit for the role in Carmen Jones.  Carmen is not a likeable character and yet she is more interesting than even Mr. Tibbs (who is my preferred way to view Poitier).

Taking this viewpoint, while I wish there were more varied and substantial roles for African Americans, I can’t deny that the show is so well-cast and uses a mythology that allows it’s soapy/fantasy nature to shine.  I also appreciate that very few characters are meant to be likeable or sweet. The only character being portrayed in a fully positive way currently is Jamal and with the way the plot has been set up, I don’t see that lasting (Secretly, the saintly treatment of the homosexual character is another trope of which I’m not fond. Shades of Kurt from Glee.)  These may be caricatures, but they are human.  No one is an angel but each character has real motivations and the show took the time to examine their reasoning briefly in the first episode.

Overall, I’m going to keep watching.  The season preview packed so many guest stars that I screamed at the television.  I can’t promise any full recaps but I will probably be tweeting about the show.  Let me know your thoughts and comments below.  However, remember to “Take that bass out of your voice when you talk to me!”

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Trashy Thursday is Back!

And it’s time, it’s time, it’s time to pay tribute to my patron saint, my guiding light, my spirit animal!

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Tiffany “Miss New York” Pollard

Let’s go back.  All the way to the year 2006.  Flavor Flav aka Foofy Foofy had just had his heart broken by Brigitte Nielsen.   So he turned to the only thing that could heal his pain.  Reality TV!  I’ll save the rest of my summary of the first episode.  But it introduced us to my queen and my diva, MISS NEW YORK.

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Listen.  This woman is life-changing.  She’s so iconic.  She is why reality television was invented.

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Look at her.  Look at that heavy eye makeup.  That flower.  She’s amazing.

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If you recall, New York won a roller skating date with The Foofster.  (“He’s a man, not a Foofy!”)  Her titties swinging low like so many chariots.

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During the first episode after Goldie’s upchuck adventures, New York comes in to greet the ladies having breakfast.

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“Good Morning! Good Morning.  Good Morning.  (To Rain) Not you, you can choke!”

New York on New York.

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Who doesn’t tell themselves that every morning?  It’s a mantra for all of us.

But then, STRIFE! Hottie tried it.

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And now legendary quote number 11?

Excuse the video quality, but I didn’t want to give too much away from the recap.

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“You fucking look like Luther Vandross!!!” Listen if you didn’t love her by this point, you were watching the entire show incorrectly.

More adventures in New York vs. Hottie:

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New York’s first time uttering her signature line.  Like she was eating her steak.  And loving it!

More knifery:

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This was near the end of Season 1 when New York shares a group date with Goldie.  Prior to this meal, we got this brilliant line:

“Goldie is a CUTE girl.  But cute next to gorgeous?  Gorgeous devours cute.”

But then Goldie came in playing to win and snatched that night cap!  Oops.

But New York continued in the competition! And boy, the final 3 episode.  Jesus!

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New York: “Slap me, you bi***” 

Pumkin: ::gross spit::

New York: YOU MOTHER F*CKING WHORE!!!! ::pushes Pumkin::

“YOU’RE GOING TO SPIT IN MY FAAAAACE.  BECAUSE I’M STAYING IN THE HOUSE AND YOU’RE NOOOOOOOT!”

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So we know that she lost.  ::ugly cry:: But then the finale.

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Look at this introduction.  LOOK AT THAT COUNTDOWN!

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She did ALL of these things.  Was she super dramatic?  Could it have been acting?

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Now, some highlights from Season Two.

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Like Brigitte in Season 1, New York was brought back with a lower quality weave and inflated sense of superiority.

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Oops, sorry about that Buckwild!

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Welp! She’s not wrong.

But I have to stop.  This honestly could go on for years and I have to go be productive.

Also, share some of your absolute favorite New York moments.  I’m still working on my Flavor of Love recap which is why I didn’t go in to excruciating detail.  But you just know that she’s iconic and she is who inspires me.

 

“You know what? I just fucked up your date!”

Byeeeeee!

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(All gifs courtesy of Rich Juzwiak & RealityTVGifs.)

So You Think You Can Dance!

Hey people! I’m so excited about the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance tonight!  It’s going to be fun!

I thought that we’d celebrate with ten of my favorite routines from the show!   This isn’t my definitive list, which I think Class and I will have to put together sometime this season.   It’s killing me to leave some routines off, but these were the first 10 11 that came to mind, so that has to mean something right?

But here we go.

Lacey & Danny Samba – Dmitry Chaplin

I had to make sure this was on here.  I love this dance.  Beyond measure.

Hok & Jaimie’s Hummingbird/Flower Dance – Wade Robson

So amazingly beautiful.

Sabra & Dominic’s Hip Hop – Shane Sparks

SQUEE! Love these two!  Love this routine.  So cute.

Donyelle & Benji’s Hip Hop – Shane Sparks

Come on Donyelle!!! And Benji too.

Caitlyn & Pasha’s Samba – Dmitry Chaplin

Random, but I love the songs and she was the only girl that season who could do ballroom worth a damn.

Sasha & Twitch Hip Hop – Christopher Scott

So so so good!!! So much chemistry.

Lauren & Billy Jazz – Mandy Moore

A sweet and goofy routine.  So creative.

Janette & Brandon Jazz – Wade Robson

I miss Wade so much on this show.

Alex & Twitch Hip Hop – Nappytabs

Hate them, love this routine. So much fun.

Jasmine & Comfort Hip Hop – Nappytabs

QUEEN! I live for Jasmine and this was so flawless.  I honestly thought she would win because of this.

Kayla & Kupono  Contemporary – Mia Michaels

So fucking good.  This routine is so powerful.

What are you some of your favorites??  Link us and let’s talk about it!

Why I Gave Up On ANTM

One thing you should know about Trash is that I love reality television.  I love the constructs, I love watching them build an edit for a contestant and how it all plays out, and I think there is a lot of cultural value in the manipulation of these stories for our entertainment.  Of course, this does not make them all quality shows but it’s a window into human psyche and how certain cues and attitudes play within society.

One of those insights is that we repeatedly fall into the same traps over and over again.  America LOVES a spunky underdog.  We’d rather see someone try hard with a good attitude over consistent excellence.  We “hate” bitchy people, but we wouldn’t be as engaged in a show without a villain to root against.  These cliches and others are used in all of the best reality shows.

So let’s talk about the most consistent reality show in my life, America’s Next Top Model.

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I have loved Top Model since I first laid eyes on Jade Cole.

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I started watching the show with my friend who would give me a ride back to my off-campus apartment when I didn’t have my car yet.  Jade’s brilliant vocabulary and antics had me hooked!

So wonderful and so fabulous.

From there, I caught up on reruns of the early seasons crying with Kelle over her snout, watching my chest go jiggle shimmy with Robyn, having sex with Italian strangers a la Shandi, and learning about tipsy-top models with Naima.

I even know the choreography to Shake Ya Body!

Wholahay?  I was there.

Check ya thighs out in the mirra? I was there.

Jenna’s Chevy Impala? I was there.

Brasilia?  I was there.

Hi! I’m Kyle! I was there.

I even made it through both All-Star seasons and this season with the mens!  We’re talking dedication here.

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Mostly to Don, but I watched it anyway!

But you know, it took all my strength to realize that I have to stop caving in to the power of Tyra.  This show was once a fun way to spend a hour with fake models doing hilarious challenges.  However crazy, there was always a semblance of reality to some of the things that happened.  There were real designers involved.  Girls went on to at least work in the industry.

This past season, all of the photos were taken on iPads in order to use “Flixel” technology.  It was stupid.

The final runway show for Season 18 was for Forever 21.  It was stupid.

Kelly Cutrone is STILL on the show.  No one likes her.  She isn’t funny.  She isn’t attractive.  She is the worst.

While the show is still entertaining in a way, it is no longer the same hilarious antics that kept us tuned in back in the day.  We no longer have panel challenges.  No more Andre Leon Talley or Janice Dickinson.  It’s a chore to watch each episode because the show stopped trying.  Even when we the fans didn’t take it seriously, it needed to take itself seriously for the show to work.

I remained hopeful that the show would find its ground but it simply hasn’t recovered.  The judging isn’t as spirited.  Even Tyra’s heart isn’t really in it anymore.

I hope that she will let the show end with dignity and then put out the seasons on DVD so that I can enjoy them forever and ever.

But I can’t watch it anymore.  It is just a reminder that I’m getting old and the show has worn out its welcome on the popular culture.

Are there any shows that you’ve had to give up on?  What would you suggest as a replacement??  Let us know in the comments!

RuPaul’s Drag Race S6, Ep5 Recap

Greetings loved ones!

How is your week going?  Team Trash is here to talk about Drag Race!  Obviously!

We open the episode with Darienne serving up some shade to Milk over her last runway.  While I wasn’t the biggest fan of the Lamaze realness, Darienne would be better served tailoring her gowns rather than concerning herself with the competition.

Laganja discusses the last Untucked where she received a message from her parents.  Now I love Laganja because she’s super obnoxious but has some measure of talent.  But girl, no matter what?  This is a competition.  You all get along and share a bond.  But no one is obligated to give your the floor just because your family sent a supportive message to you.  Bianca obviously made a joke to lighten the mood and you are too busy being offended to see that she was happy for you.  Bye girl, fly girl.

The next day, Laganja has arrived with a Badu headpiece.  I’m not going to lie, I’m living for it a little.  But it’s clearly a grab for attention.  Bianca calls her on it and proceeds to read the fuck out it.  At this point, Bianca is approaching Jade from ANTM levels of love for me.

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(Source: Fourfour.com)

We get no mini-challenge this week as RuPaul announces The Snatch Game!  This episode is always a treat.  It tests the queens’ ability to be funny,impersonate a celebrity, and banter in real time.  No amount of fishiness is going to win this.  I mean this is the challenge that made Jinkx Monsoon and Tatianna into competitors.  Where we got to Chad Michaels be completely fabulous.  Sharon’s Michelle Visage?  Willam’s Jessica Simpson?  This is the challenge that can get you to the finals if you play your cards right.

So who is everyone portraying?

Adore Delano – Anna Nicole Smith

Ben DeLaCreme – Maggie Smith

Bianca Del Rio – Judge Judy

Courtney Act – Fran Drescher

Darienne Lake – Paula Deen

Gia Gunn – Kim Kardashian

Joslyn Fox – Teresa Guidice

Laganja Estranga – Rachel Zoe

Milk – Julia Child

Trinity K. Bonet – Nicki Minaj

Ru shakes Dela’s and Milk’s confidence doubting their ability to bring the funny with their characters.

Adore impresses with a note-for-note rendition of Anna’s MTV VMA speech.  Let’s relive that because it truly is amazing.

God, I love her.  And knowing that Adore does too makes me like her way more. Laganja actually seems with it in her interactions with Ru. RuPaul tells us that she watches Judge Judy every single day, putting a crap-ton of pressure on Bianca.  I’m not worried for her.

Gia shows that she knows nothing about the Snatch Game when she initially picks Selena.  This is different than Milk and Ben who at least understand being over the top.  The thing about the Snatch Game is that the look actually means very little.  If you look like the celebrity, it’s a great help but Alaska and Sharon pulled it out without looking exactly alike because they brought humor and performance to the challenge.  Adore is totally correct in her assessment that there is nothing you can do with Selena.  Selena is many things; beautiful, talented, and taken way before her time.  But funny, she is not.

Gia does course correct changing to Kim Kardashian who is at least ripe for parody.  We jump right into the game.  Listen, kudos to the editors for making it the focus of the episode.  I like that a lot.

Gillian Jacobs (from Community) and Heather Macdonald (from Chelsea Lately) are our celebrity guest judges.

During the game, Judge Judy is already amazing.  Bianca obviously prepared for this but seriously, she is bringing it.  Anna Nicole is KILLING me! Adore is really rising in my estimation because this is a genuinely strong performance. Julia is a little bland and  Milk is not prepared at all. You can see that Ru is not feeling it.  Fran Drescher is great but the humor isn’t as strong. Rachel is…okay. Darienne as Paula is inspired but simply is overshadowed.  She was good though. Gia Gunn is way too dumb for this.  She’s simply not clever enough to even compete.  Joslyn Fox is incredible.  I already declared my love for her but she is wearing me out. Ben Delacreme as Maggie Smith is divine.  Every detail was thought out.  Every answer and response made total sense given the character.  Brilliant. Seriously, Trinity K. Bonet should do a Nicki Minaj tribute show.  She looks just like her in profile.  As for the humor…

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Source: Fourfour.com)

Trash’s Favorite Snatch Game Lines:

We went back to the old country and figure out how to pronounce it.  Johnson.  -Joslyn

Like my body?!? – Adore

Let’s just keep it at Mr. Charles and Dame Smith! -Dela

BOLOGNA! – Bianca

Well I could you a fried bologna sandwich myself! – Darienne

“I put hair.  And I think I won…” -Adore

“Am I too understand that one rips the telephone right out of the wall and takes it with them? – Dela

“EXCUSE ME, WE ORIGINATED THE LANGUAGE!” – Dela

“Beauty fades.  DUMB IS FOREVER!” -Bianca

‘Prostitution Whorses” – Joslyn

“Vod–cuh” -Adore

“Cumin! Cumin.” -Joslyn

“I did think it would be rather amusing if libations were flavored with citrus!” -Ben

Trash’s Favorite Confessional Reads

“That’s unfortunate…”  –Trinity on Laganja’s Rachel Zoe voice

“Milk ain’t no Meryl Streep!”– Bianca on Milk

Pause.  Joslyn Fox’s Fran Drescher is AMAZING.  Like her Mr. Sheffield is so on point.  She could win with that performance.

So if you can’t tell by the favorite lines section, this really came down to Dela, Bianca, Joslyn, and Adore. Honestly, I thought this was the absolute best Snatch Game in terms of top performances.  I laughed out loud several times.

We learn more about Ben’s history being overweight and her mother’s death.  It is completely moving and I think that she makes sense on how she uses it to be stronger today.  Bianca volunteers to lend Adore a cincher to keep her out of Michelle’s claws.  Aww nice Bianca.  Since Adore was so great in the Snatch Game, I’m totally feeling their bond.

On to the Runway.  Michelle dressed as RuPaul is always fun.  I also love RuPaul’s technicolor gown.  Let’s talk about the runway which asked the girls to be inspired by RuPaul’s Night of 1000 Gowns.

Joslyn Fox – Looks spectacular.  This is her best look so far.

Gia Gunn – DAT. WIG. THOSE BOOBS. NO GAWD.  This is almost as bad as that creature thing she wore in episode 2.

Darienne Lake – Love the mask.  She really needs to either have more train or cut a split in her gowns.  This looks is so close to amazing but the awkward fall of her gowns isn’t working for me.

Laganja Estranja – I love the catsuit, but her wig is not the answer.

Bianca Del Rio – Look at the makeup!  Her face is beat for Zeus, but the gown isn’t the best.

Adore Delano – Really needs to get better gowns and wigs.

Trinity – The gown isn’t great but she managed to channel Ru.

Ben DelaCreme – LISTEN HERE YOU BITCH!!!! YOU ARE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

Courtney Act – Such a good idea channeling Supermodel of the World Ru.  Love the wings and the twirl.

Milk –

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Okay.  I actually like the idea.  And unlike last week, Milk did truly put some thought into this one.  That said, her instincts were SO SO WRONG!!!! Like completely off.  Ru specifically said Night of 1000 Gowns.  Did she not see how unimpressed Ru was with Alaska last season?  No ma’am!

Courtney, Darienne, Joslyn, and Trinity are the safe queens this episode.

At the judging, the top queens are Bianca, Ben, and Adore.

Bianca’s Judge Judy is praised and she was fabulous.  Adore is read for her look, but she nailed the performance.  Ben DeLaCreme was incredible and looks incredible.  Gillian mentions that she’s been saying her line about the language all day, which is high praise.

The bottom queens are Gia, Laganja, and Milk.

Gia’s eye makeup is fucked up.  Let’s let Courtney demonstrate.

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Source: Twitter)

And Michelle and Ru are completely correct in their assessment that Gia was not funny and not prepared for this challenge.  Laganja is told that her mannerisms were off and that she didn’t work in enough catch phrases.  She admits that seeing how good the other girls were threw her off.  This is honestly why I like her.  She may be all over the place and obnoxious, but she has the self awareness to realize that she wasn’t strong here.  Michelle is totally correct in her assessment that I love the idea of Boy Ru and the execution.  But like i said before, this is the wrong time to debut this look.  Santino straight up says that a shocking look for Milk would be traditionally pretty.

Let’s digress for a bit.  In the past few seasons, two queens (Sharon Needles and Jinkx Monsoon) have won the show while not using a lot of glamour in their looks.  But because this is a show, they both were able to demonstrate to the panel that they were capable of it.  This gave the judges comfort in their ability to straight up “turn it the fuck out.”  Milk has to show that if she wants to really compete.

Ru advises Milk to show more vulnerability similar to her discussion about being afraid of being less than in glamour versus glamour-off with the rest of the girls .

Once the girls are off stage, Ru comments that this is the tightest Snatch Game in history.  It’s nice to see the runway factor into the discussion.  They haven’t lost their focus on the challenge.  Michelle continues to hate on Ben DelaCreme and she is completely wrong.  Ben playing an old lady is not the same as being in a rut.

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(Source: Luvvie)

Gillian is totally correct in saying that Kim K. should have tried to start each sentence with a K.

The girls come back and Ben Delacreme wins!!!  WERQ!!!!

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Dela’s runway look really put her over the top for me.  She’s the first queen to two wins this season!

Milk is sent to safety as Gia and Laganja fall into the bottom two.  The two queen lip sync to Head to Toe by Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam.  Love this song!!!!

Gia is doing her best in her gown and unflattering padding but Laganja’s dance ability and legs take it for her and save her from elimination.  Gia is sent home but seriously her wig is so offensive.

But to be honest, this is a shocker for me.  I would have never expected Ru to get rid of Gia so early.  She is a bitchy, dumb queen with a hint of talent.  But she’s not as focused or skilled a la Roxxxy Andrews to overcome her weaknesses.

This set of queens really is fantastic.  There are weaknesses and no one queen has it all, but from top to bottom, this is the strongest set of queens to date.

How did you like the episode?  Let us know in the comments below or over on the Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.

No ACTUAL Talent? Get OUTTA Here!

Move.

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I am annoyed. Why?

I love most shows on Bravo. I can sit all damn and waste it away watching everything on Bravo (except when they play actual movies ::snoozefest::). They all have lives that I want. The life where you wake up, drink mimosas, shop, nap, go out with yo friends,  cuss someone out, and repeat. Tired of that routine? They take a random trip to South Africa or Morocco dahhhhling.  It’s genius television. I love the cute music that some of the bravo-lebrities have given us. “Tardy for the Party” goes hard, “Chic Ce L’est Vie” taught me how to live, and “Money Can’t Buy You Class” is my personal anthem. (Stay classy y’all)

And then “Vanderpump Rules” Season 2 happened. I never cared  that much to watch this show until this scene….

Yes GAWD…. *SPOILER* After all of that the “dirty f*cking whore” did “bang” her boyfriend. ::rolls-eyes – #WhiteGirlProblems::

ANYWAY, the thing that pissed me off is that this show introduced me to aspiring singer Scheana Marie. BYE ASHY.

ByeAshy

 

LISTEN. We have GOT to stop letting basic trollops with TERRIBLE voices get on stages to perform. I COULD USE THAT STAGE (AND PAYCHECK) BETTER. I get that they may like to perform; but learn to act, mime, or ANYTHING that doesn’t involve….SINGING. Even mediocre singers of today have more talent than this trick. Britney could dance, Cassie…is pretty, Rihanna keeps giving us catchy hits, and Ciara…. Uhhh…..she gave us “Goodies” and is a glowing pregnant woman. ALSO F*CK the girl in the video for saying Scheana was awesome. That’s why you got slapped later in the season. Ho. Sit. Down.

Where in the entire heck is my record deal/reality TV show. I have questions. What I do know is that we have got to stand up and say NO to raggedy performers.

I’m out.

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