Spring

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7 – Episode 1 RuCap

Welcome back racers!!! I know that I owe you all a ton of Black History Facts, but I will get those to you.  However, our lives has been lacking in sparkle and fabulous since we last saw the ladies of Drag Race. Our long national nightmare has ended with the premiere of Season Seven last night.  Let’s dive on in and see what this set of queens are serving this season.

Miss Fame walks in serving alien goddess. Her face is pretty flawless and she seems confident and put together. She’s the queen that I’m most familiar with through her makeup tutorials.

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Ginger Minj is a tiny plus size queen serving up Oralndo Housewife with her opening look.  I’m interested to see if she can bring it.

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Jaidynn Diore Fierce speaks in fluent catchphrase but is one of the few queens who seems truly lively.  She was one of my favorite in the meet the queens videos by virtue of being one of the few who was memorable in any way.

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Violet Chachki…is super tiny in the waist and is clearly pretty.  That said, she is incredibly shady.  A lot of it seems to be coming for a young, dumb place.

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Max is adorable.  She’s like Milk and Sharon Needles had a baby. I really love her aesthetic.

Max

Miss Fame is already shady for no reason with some blotting joke related to the newspaper. It’s not that serious, ladies. You just got there.

Katya! I adore her.  She’s from Boston.  She’s the funniest so far. I did really did enjoy her “Come On Muscular Dystrophy!” from the Meet The Queens video because C’mon ____ never gets old.

Katya

 

That said, I know that we all love Laganja.  It’s so fun to yell “C’mon _______!” But seriously queens, stop it. Everyone can’t c’mon in this 5 minutes span.

Jasmine Masters is so fun to listen to.  But so hard to look at.

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Mrs. Kasha Davis is old school fun. She came across fun in the interview but her look is a bland.

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I have no time for Violet and her constant preening.

Trixie Mattel has such a distinct look.  It’s ugly, but distinct.  I like it.

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Kandy Ho’ has a shit ton of attitude and is mostly boring. She looks like Aubrey O’Day from afar and Serena ChaCha up close.  I don’t see it for her.

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I fucking hate Pearl.  Pearl is a cute enough boy, but I just want him to stop talking. Credit where it’s due, the deep voice “Sup?” was funny.

Pearl

Trixie decides she wants to jump on the C’mon Chinstrap! bandwagon.

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Kennedy Davenport can dance her ass off.  She seemed a skosh bland but after getting the Alyssa Edwards seal of approval, I hope that she brings it.

Kennedy Davenport

Sasha Belle is probably the least interesting queen of the bunch.  That wig isn’t working for me, for you, or for her.

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Tempest DuJour’s intro is pretty great.  I wish they hadn’t spoiled the baby dropping bit. I love her campy style.  Kandy Ho tries to throw age shade.  I’m actually tired of her already.

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Let’s talk about how age/weight shade is so tired.  It doesn’t require any creativity or wit.  Bye Kandy.

Ru talks via a creepy baby image but yells ‘Balenciaga!” Ru enters and announces that the first challenge is a fashion week extravaganza.  The ladies will have to showcase two of their best looks, one from the spring collection and one from the fall collection. Jaidynn declares it #TooMuch.

Time for a runway show!

Ginger opens in a magenta sparkly frock.  Very pretty. Her fall look is fabulous.  Leopard and neon is so drag but excecuted well.

Kandy Ho looks dull in yellow lace that doesn’t fit her skin tone. Her fall look with the fur is a good look though.

Max is super campy but pretty. The spring look isn’t fashion forward enough. But then Max SLAYS the winter look.  She also shows off a pretty fabulous runway walk too, which I don’t think anyone would have expected.

Jaidynn looks good, but not in a fashion way.  She wears two jumpsuits ignoring the fall and winter look dictates. Ehhh.

Katya is stunning.  The full fur look is amazing for winter shits all over Kandy No.  Both of her looks do a great job of blending campy while meeting the glamour standards that the show reuqires.  ME thinks she’s a threat.

Miss Kasha is true to her housewife character and has a very drag walk.  Both looks are bland and don’t stand out in any way.

Trixie’s dresses are both super cute.  I didn’t realize how curvy she was. I genuinely like the sequined dress for winter though I don’t think she’ll be winning any awards for her work.

Pearl is obnoxious. Her winter look is actually a great look.  Well executed. Fur for spring is stupid though.  Shut up, Pearl.

Tempest has a sexy gypsy thing going on. I love the quilted poncho for her winter look, but the wig is horrendous.

Miss Fame looks incredible.  Love the red outfit. That gold look with the fascinator? Flawless.

Jasmine is very banjee realness for spring. She has a fondness for showing her abs but I’m not sure it’s coming across feminine. Jasmine is serving purple trenchcoat for winter. It’s…cheap looking.  Like it was made of curtain fabric.

Violet’s look is really creative and good.  Hate that. The tartan look is pretty fabulous though.

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Kennedy looks like Niecy Nash (a point that is brought up by Carson). Her looks are bland but pretty. I love the hair on the winter look but the actual look itself is still not enough to impress.

Sasha…does not have great style instincts. Her “lobster” dress is pretty awful.

Did I mention Alaska was here to give us her Anna Wintour impression? It’s flawless.

“It’s hideous.  I think I’ll put it on the cover.”

The new Pit Crew comes in nude.  Hot redheads are great fun.  Jason and Miles are back looking goodt.

Ru then announces that the queens will need to create a resort wear look that tears away to reveal a nude illusion.  (Shoutout to Carmen Carrera and Trinity K. Bonet!) Jasmine then gives us a great quip with “No Tea, No Shade, No Pink Lemonade!” and tells us Ru wouldn’t like to see some of these ladies naked.  She’s right.

After the break, Trixie makes a good point where she mentions that her look uses none of her natural features in her drag.  Miss Fame gives us another brand lecture.  (My friend is watching live with Katya and she says that you should drink each time she says brand. Don’t die!)

We learn about Tempest’s kids and husband, as well as her weight loss! Aww that’s nice.  Kandy Ho doesn’t know how to sew.  It’s Season 7.  Just lie.

Jasmine has sewn some peacock fabric to two hula hoops and then proceeds to tell us about cocoons and butterflies for approximately 5 minutes.  It’s probably her nerves, but she has to learn to stop talking.  Ru is not impressed.

Trixie then tells us about how her boyfriend’s family doesn’t like drag.  We’ve already gotten way too many sob stories.  Stop it.  Violet and Kandy are really tapping on my nerves.

Katya tells us that she has the body of a 50-year Irish Rock Climber.  My love for her could not be any greater.

Runway Time! (For the third time)

Ru floats down the runway in turquoise (tur-kwazz) peekaboo look and looks incredible.  Michelle visage is back and dressed like an ice skater.  Carson Kressly is here and I love him.  Ross Matthews is here also.

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Kathy Griffin is here with bad makeup and fur.  Love her!

NOW SISSY THAT WALK!

Katya scomes out in all red fringe.  Her idea to use the hair is a great job.  Flashing her asshole, may work. May not. I’m going to guess not.

Kasha Davis does a great job of portraying confidence.  There’s a lot of shade from the judges.

Sasha Belle flops with a the black bra instead of nude.  The look is tacky and bland. Think Jinxx on a very bad day.

Miss Fame looks great in turquoise and her body looks spectacular.

Kennedy Davenport does a great job selling a mediocre outfit.  Love those wings.

Tempest’s look is so so bad.  The crab belt is bad. The makeup is also bad. When I watched this on my phone, I didn’t think it was so bad, but on my TV? No gawd.

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Trixie’s tennis outfit is odd. But the outlines of her outfit fir her Barbie brand. Pearl has such a good look but her walk and attitude suck.  Her tuck needs some work as well. Max! I love the crutches. She’s putting on too much of a show, but I like where her mind is. Ginger is great fun.  I like her in yellow and I think that she really has the skills.  She’s a front runner.

Jasmine…has hula hoops.  I like the longer hair and actually like the fringe outfit.  Her makeup is also better than in previous runways. Kandy has a good body and bad contouring. Jaidynn’s outfit is fabulous and a much better showing that the runway challenge.  Love her! Show us how sexy you is! Violet has the skills and the dress is a fun nod to Southern dressing.  Padding really does help.  Skinny isn’t exactly feminine.

Judging time!

Our safe queens: Ginger, Jaidynn, Pearl, Kasha, Katya, Max, and Trixie.  No surprises here.

Sasha is not polished.  She’s saying she confused the assignment.  But really it just wasn’t put together well. Tempest looks so so bad on the runway.

That wig.

Those wrinkles.

Jasmine gets mixed reviews but it’s clear the judges like her.  The fringe and her purple raincoat are read. Poor thing. Michelle calls out Kandy’s contour and I’m so glad we’re on the same page.  Bye ashy! Her ugly tunic thing is also a tragedy.

Miss Fame is going to suffer from high expectations. But her work was superb this week. Kennedy is in the top! Her presentation definitely saved her look. Violet killed it with the fall look.  Michelle and I continue to be on the same page by saying that we don’t see it for Violet’s boy body. Kathy Griffin disagrees and it’s clear that Michelle isn’t featuring it.

Oh shit! We have some shady shade right now.  Ru asks who is least impressive amongst the queens.

Sasha – Pearl

Fame – Jaidynn

Kennedy – Trixie

Tempest – Ginger

Jasmine – Sasha

Kandy – Tempest

Violet – Sasha

Tempest calls out Kandy for calling her old.  Kandy looks like Elmer Fudd from the side. Sasha is pissed that people think she is sloppy as her cheap nylon wig looms at us menacingly.

The judges love Miss Fame and Kennedy.  Costumey is thrown around and I can see that. Violet has the fashion edge that is going to appeal, but showing boy body is always no no.  Courtney got that critique and Violet is no Courtney.

Tempest looked awful.  Her being a costumer is brought up.  Jasmine has this great energy but not enough fabulousness. Kandy is ugly and her spirit is ugly.  Sasha is read for being sloppy and all around raggedy. I still don’t really see it for Ross Matthews, but I will give him the beard joke.

Ru calls Kennedy safe. Violet Chachki wins the first challenge! Werq Atlanta!  Miss Fame and Michelle Visage are livid, but she’s safe. Sasha is somehow safe? I didn’t expect this.

Tempest is in the bottom two which makes sense.  Kandy is boring and has awful makeup.  Jasmine is great fun to talk to and hard to look at.  Jasmine is safe! Kandy is in the bottom.

The two rivals lip sync to “Geronimo,” one of Ru’s lesser songs.  Both of these queens are so so mediocre.  Tempest is…doing the noodle apparently.  Kandy gives us some krumping and due to having a modicum of energy, saves herself.  This is really bad in so many ways.  Do these ladies not prepare?

Katya wins the lip sync when she tells us “I don’t know what that Miss Crab Lady is doing, but all I know is the bearded ho is TURNING IT!” I LOVE HER!

Tempest…to paraphrase Gia Gunn “dances like a man.” This is Honey Mahogany/Vivienne Pinay level terrible.,

Tempest sadly leaves us looking the hottest of messes. Wait they have to hold a Ru doll when they leave. Clever marketing though!

So what did you all think?  Any favorites yet?  If you can’t tell, I’m living for Katya.  This set seems especially shady and fashion heavy.  It’s my hope that the season gives us all that we need.  I would recap Untucked but shit, it’s on YouTube. Watch it below!

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My Grits Are Overcooked.

You ever have a week when everyone/everything is on your damn nerves? That has been this week for me.

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The weather is on the next level bull shit. It’s raining, snowing, sleeting, and its too damn cold….and then its 70 degrees. I’m over it COMPLETELY. My body is giving up. Like, I have this hint of a cold and I want it to go the EFF away. Whoever pissed mother nature off can apologize NOW. This weather makes me mad and I just want to push people down on the street.

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My apartment is a damn mess. I mean a DAMN MESS. I just don’t have the time to do what needs to be done. So clothes are everywhere. Dishes are taking over and I hate it. I go home and just flop because I can’t deal. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of cleaning that needs to be done. Maybe I’ll get it done this weekend…oh wait…I’m working this weekend again.

Cleaning

People are on my nerves. Like some of the statements people make on the internet piss me the eff off. SHUT. UP. There is a fine line between celebrating life moments and throwing it in our faces. There is a fine line between health tips and just sounding stupid because we know deep down you aren’t eating to lose weight. There is a fine line between reality and the imaginary world that people tweet, Facebook, or blog about. It’s just annoying. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of being annoying but some take it to the next level. Maybe it’s time for a social media break? Who knows. Why do people try SO DAMN HARD to be someone that they are not?! UGH.

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I’m tired of useless, unwarranted advice. My coworker is the worst about this. Bitch you don’t need to tell me what to do. EVER. Leave me alone. It’s worse when you turn to a friend and they add their two cents in on how to handle it. SHUT UP. This is when I pretend that my phone is breaking up. “Oh girl, I gotta go!” This has been the week of unsolicited advice and I’m over it. Unless your Oprah or Beyonce, you can skip me with advice unless I ask.

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I’m tired of feeling mediocre. I just want so much out of life and I feel stuck. Trapped with potential and no outlet to be f*cking great(f*cking great differs from being just great). So what is the solution? If I knew, I would have the money, man,  and the private island that I dream about. So what is my temporary solution? Girl scout cookies. Lots and lots of girl scout cookies.

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How has your week been? Let us know!

Keep it Simple Sundays

Soooo Sundays boil down to the three C’s for me.

Church

Cleaning

Cocktails

SO today, I’m keeping it quick and simple. Despite the fact that it is 70 degrees in North Carolina, rumors of another wave of wintery mess is on the way. I’M OVER IT! Regardless, the winter months are winding down.  What does that mean?

People are going to start running around pale and shirtless with crusty toenails hanging out. I’m never going to come for  bodies because that is just rude and unnecessary. As long as you are confident, you better work bitch! But the toenails thing….PLEASE run to the nearest salon and have them take care of them TOES! MEN AS WELL! You are NOT exempt (Gay or Straight…Don’t NOBODY want to see or feel crusty, moldy, nasty feet. Please go to Walmart and grab you a pumice stone, moisturizer,  and handle your business on the regular.) I get the appeal and freedom of flip flops and sandals, but PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR FEET. There is nothing worse than eating on the patio of restaurant, looking down on at the floor and seeing a green toenail monster looking at you surround in a seas of dead dry skin.

Just trying to help Y’ALL out with the approaching spring and summer season!

Stay classy and love ya for reading!

Bloop