My Grits Are Overcooked.

You ever have a week when everyone/everything is on your damn nerves? That has been this week for me.


The weather is on the next level bull shit. It’s raining, snowing, sleeting, and its too damn cold….and then its 70 degrees. I’m over it COMPLETELY. My body is giving up. Like, I have this hint of a cold and I want it to go the EFF away. Whoever pissed mother nature off can apologize NOW. This weather makes me mad and I just want to push people down on the street.


My apartment is a damn mess. I mean a DAMN MESS. I just don’t have the time to do what needs to be done. So clothes are everywhere. Dishes are taking over and I hate it. I go home and just flop because I can’t deal. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of cleaning that needs to be done. Maybe I’ll get it done this weekend…oh wait…I’m working this weekend again.


People are on my nerves. Like some of the statements people make on the internet piss me the eff off. SHUT. UP. There is a fine line between celebrating life moments and throwing it in our faces. There is a fine line between health tips and just sounding stupid because we know deep down you aren’t eating to lose weight. There is a fine line between reality and the imaginary world that people tweet, Facebook, or blog about. It’s just annoying. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of being annoying but some take it to the next level. Maybe it’s time for a social media break? Who knows. Why do people try SO DAMN HARD to be someone that they are not?! UGH.


I’m tired of useless, unwarranted advice. My coworker is the worst about this. Bitch you don’t need to tell me what to do. EVER. Leave me alone. It’s worse when you turn to a friend and they add their two cents in on how to handle it. SHUT UP. This is when I pretend that my phone is breaking up. “Oh girl, I gotta go!” This has been the week of unsolicited advice and I’m over it. Unless your Oprah or Beyonce, you can skip me with advice unless I ask.


I’m tired of feeling mediocre. I just want so much out of life and I feel stuck. Trapped with potential and no outlet to be f*cking great(f*cking great differs from being just great). So what is the solution? If I knew, I would have the money, man,  and the private island that I dream about. So what is my temporary solution? Girl scout cookies. Lots and lots of girl scout cookies.


How has your week been? Let us know!

Bye Ashy!



Today’s post is short and sweet.  Here are 5 things Team Trash is not here for:

1) Dumb Questions

Contrary to popular belief, there are dumb questions.  I’m so sick of people asking questions without thinking through potential answers.  For example, one of co-workers REFUSES to read emails, read verbiage, or look at her own notes before asking me questions.

Half of the time, she’s asking questions on things that she wrote.


I am too busy for you to sit up wasting my time.  Hit it, Porscha!


2) Blatant Racism

Now let me just state that both Class and I think of blackface as the more shoe polish/exaggerated lip form as opposed to simply skin darkening.  But with that said, stop putting on dark makeup to look like black people.  You know people are going to be offended.  We know you’re going to issue some fake apology that you don’t mean.  We know that you will curse all those “sensitive” Negros under your breath.

Read this post by the fabulous Rembert Browne (@Rembert) for Grantland.

It is 2014.




3) Body Odor

Buy deodorant and antiperspirant.

Shower regularly.

Wash your hair.

Wash your clothes.

If you don’t do these things, please don’t talk to me.


4) Snow

Me right now:


I’m sick of driving in it, shoveling it, and working in it.  This weather is for the birds.


5) Halogen Head Lights

If your raggedy car has these bright ass lights, do NOT climb up into my trunk.  It’s distracting and actually makes driving that much worse.

And for your trollops who think it’s cute to turn those neon lights on even brighter and then not turn it down when driving towards me, I hope you spend the rest of your days cranking dat Soulja Boy in hell.