self improvement

Fantasy vs. Reality

Morning minions!


So I’ve always be the type of person who escapes into my own head to deal with ignore my problems.  Instead of dealing with the here and now, I tend to be a bit proponent of escaping into a fantasy world where everything happens according to my will versus the real thing.

However, as I continue to transition into my new life in Georgia, I find that I have less to escape.  My usual coping techniques aren’t working as well because the stresses of real life have been reduced.  I spent most of my time up north mustering up every bit of strength I had to get through the day.  So my time at home was spent running away from the very real issues that I was facing there.

Here, my job doesn’t tax nearly as much and I find that I actually don’t mind the people I work with.  I don’t feel like the world is going to end every time I wake up.  It’s a better feeling, but a new one for sure.

My hope is that I’ll be able to infuse my reality with some of the more exciting elements of my fantasies.  Being able to travel and go on vacation without worry.  Living my best life and what not!

In other random news, I’ve decided that I’m going to re-watch Flavor of Love, I Love New York, and Rock of Love and share my ten favorite lines from each episode.  I have to find right day of the week to post this but hopefully you will love it just as much as I do!

If not?


Have a great one!

Changing Me

Hey people,


This is really quick but I figured that  could share a bit more about my life right now.  I’m working on getting my sexy on as part of the #GetChose2014.  (Props to Freshalina who has a new podcast that is life.)

But as part of my mission to end this single, overweight life, I’m having to take stock of what consequences my actions have.  And that is the hardest thing.  I can’t just make excuses for my choices.  I don’t have a lot of self control.  I’m incredibly lazy.  I’m pretty superficial.  I’m incredibly awkward.


But I’m not going to let that stop me.  I will have to keep going to the gym.  I will have to resist Zaxby’s siren song.  I will have to stop waiting for things to happen to me.  I have to take charge and create opportunities.  So what if it’s fake confidence right now?  I’ll get there.

Are you all working on yourself?  How do you stay focused?  Let a bish know!

Quickie Post: Tomorrow Will Be Better

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

— Wayne Dyer

Sometimes you have to do yourself a favor and pull yourself out of your own downward spiral…so here I go.

Let’s make this a great Thursday y’all!















Hey Night Owls!


If you can pull yourself away from the seductive gaze of that owl, let’s talk about forgiveness.  Specifically forgiving ourselves.

So in 2014, I committed to self-improvement.  This includes a gym membership, counseling sessions, this blog, and a job hunt.  I’ve managed to make progress in all aspects but, pardon the cliche, sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees.

In the day to day, you meet with tough days (What mean you I don’t get paid until April?), unforeseen circumstances (Oh my car was towed you say?), and gross adult choices. (I guess I don’t need those cookies!)

And you know what, we make mistakes.  We choose cocktail time over networking.  We choose Netflix over the gym.  We choose a nap over checking up on our friends.  These are all menial examples, but the point is that no one is perfect.  We don’t always do the “right” thing.  We don’t always make the “best choices”

Here is an example from my own life.  My father and I don’t have the greatest relationship (being very kind here).  When my parents were together, I always thought he was pretty cool.  He let me stay up late and brought pizza home.  After the divorce, the arrest, the death, and the estrangement, he showed up back in my life after I had built up a strong level of hatred that I was comfortable with.  But I sought some advice and thought, “You know Trash, he may be worthless and unemployed, but maybe you should at least talk to your other parent.”

Worst.  Idea. Ever.

It’s been about 9 years and I’m still trying to find the words to say “I don’t actually want to talk you.”  I’ve become indifferent towards him and there’s little that could change that, but I still have some inner demon urging me to give me another shot.  I try to, it flops, and then I’m like “WHAT THE HELL, TRASH? TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF AND LET’S GO HAVE A COCKTAIL!” 

But that inner demon really is a bitch.  What kind of child doesn’t like his father?  I mean, am I immature for not being able to see past his mistakes?  Am I petty because he sucks and I’m not trying to claim that?  Yes and yes.  But you know what, that’s the way the Do-Si-Do cookie crumbles.

Stop beating yourself up over how you feel!  Don’t punish yourself for deciding to enjoy a bag of Gummy Bears.  Don’t keep yourself up at night because did that thing that we promised to take to our graves.

I think that in the age of tiger moms, crazy high expectations in our careers, desire to look and feel as good as we can, and commitments to family and friends, we tend to have the expectation that we should never make mistakes.  That being perfect is the only acceptable answer.  And I’m here to tell you that perfection won’t help you in your current situation.  Perfection won’t keep you warm at night.  Perfection won’t keep the cops from pulling you over.  Perfection won’t get you into heaven.

Stop letting your own expectations of grandeur prevent you from living a life that will be worth remembering.  Take the time to reflect on your life and don’t dwell on the choices and decisions that didn’t lead to the “perfect” solution.  Very few lives turn out exactly as they were dreamed by 10 year-old you.

And really just unbutton your pants occasionally and breathe.  Every day is not going to be great.  Every choice isn’t going to be correct.


Let’s talk about it in the comments below.  And yes, you can have some fries.