Rihanna

The Purge with Class, Trash, & Asian Sensation

So I just saw a commercial for the Purge Anarchy and thought that this would be a fun quickie post.  And since Asian Sensation is here, she’s going to join me! The challenge is to come up with the first three people you’re taking out if the purge actually happened?

Let’s get started!

Asian Sensation

1) Rihanna

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She’s just a terrible human being.  She can’t really sing.  I don’t love her music.  She’s a cyber bully.  An attention whore.  And I just don’t like her.

Don’t call people “Rice Cake.”  I’m Asian.  That’s racist.

Also, don’t come for Ciara.  THE. END.

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2) Miley Cyrus

 

 

smashing!

Also an attention whore.  She needs to stop twerking. White people!  She didn’t invent twerking!  Please cover up your pancakes.  (Her weirdly shaped butt). Stop grinding up on married men.

3) Johnny Manziel

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You’re the king of the douchebags.

Trash

1) Kirk Frost

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The epitome of the ain’t shit men who get away with less than shit.  The kind of simpering, chapped lipped, pleather wearing asshole who eats paste.

2) Ann Coulter

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It’s one thing to be an asshole for Cable News checks.  It’s another to continue to speak when your 15-minutes of fame has run out and the only reason we still hear from you is because Twitter is free.

3) Everyone Who Hasn’t Washed Their Hands after using the Restroom.

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Class

1) The President of FedLoan 

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I’m clearing my debt.  Enough said.

2) Taylor Swift

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I’m taking out Taylor Swift.  Stealing her money.  And returning her Grammy for Album of the Year to the right owner.  Beyonce for “I Am Sasha Fierce.”

3) George Zimmerman

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Cuz we ain’t forgot.  NUCCA.

Share your list party people!

SYTYCD: Case of the Giggles

Hey y’all.  If you may recall, I did a post earlier about some of my favorite routines.  Well today, I wanted to highlight some of the dances that make me smile.  Some are good, some are…not, but either way I chuckle every time I see them.  Let’s get started!

Get It Shawty – Cedric & Faina

Yes!  Faina is a ballroom dancer and her hip hop isn’t as strong.  My favorite part is the when Cedric “takes control of her body” and she just bends her knees.  And then when she pops that thang!

Missin’ You – Jason & Caitlin

CAITLIN’S SOLO!!!!

Ring A Ling – Mollee & Nathan

All of this struggle.

Rocket Man – Allen & Melody

Listen.  Season 1 of this show was a totally different animal.  They actually let a big guy on the show.  And the thing was, he can dance.  But this whole routine was just a fail from start to finish.

Now let’s take a moment for the Dan Karaty Hip Hops of Yore.

Promiscuous – Musa & Natalie

Here I Come – Lacey & Kameron

Let Me – Dmitry & Ashlee

Oh Dan, you were a much better judge than choreographer!

What are some of your favorite struggle routines?  I’m ready for Vegas week y’all!

EDIT: HOLD THE PHONE.  I ALMOST LET THIS POST GO WITHOUT THE MOST TERRIBLE AND HILARIOUS ROUTINE.

What is this? Poor Caitlyn and Mitchell did not deserve this!!!  All of the “emoting”!  The horrible choreography.  The terrible song.  I still remember seeing this and being dumbfounded.

Let’s Talk: Chris Brown

So although it’s Trashy Thursday, I thought today that I’d hold off on the jams and talk about something that’s been bothering me for a bit.

Normally, you’d see a Chris Brown picture here but you know I don’t really want to go through the efforts of uploading any pictures of him.  Understand? I know you do.

Recently, Chris Brown’s jail stay was extended based on a violation of his parole.  All while his song Loyal has cracked the top 10 on Billboard’s charts and his collaboration with Kid Ink is also in the top 40 as well.  Despite the album push backs, none of this has affected his sales and record success.  But to be honest, his success post the incident has always felt a little wrong.  I’m going to try and work out why it bothers me so much.

So let’s flashback to 2009.  Now, I will go on record saying that I remember asking what the hell happened to cause the whole situation.  I remember saying that Chris Brown is terrible and thinking that Rihanna had to have done something for the violence to go that far.  I regret that I may have blamed her or insinuated that she deserved it.

However, my issue with Lispy is not that actual attack even though it was terrible.  It really boils down to the three issues.

1) He Keeps Fucking Up

Now far be it from me to try and psychoanalyze someone far richer and far more famous than me.  But let’s keep it real.  Chris Brown keep getting himself into situations where the police seem to show up.  The DC situation, the window at Good Morning America, the valet situation, and the fight with Drake with the bottles… you know just to name a few.  It might be different if there was only one or two instances, but I didn’t even give you a comprehensive list.

When you’re attempting to change your image and prove that you’re not a bad guy, you would think that you would ALWAYS let your bodyguard handle things.  If you feel yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation.  It’s not that he doesn’t have a right to get angry, but part of being a celebrity is working on your image.  His continued fuckery seriously hampers my ability to give him another shot.

Take an example.  I’m a celebrity with about 3 DUIs.  Do I

a) Drive myself everywhere knowing I’m hitting the club? or

b) Hire a personal driver?

I would think the answer is clear.

2) These Songs…

One of the biggest defenses that I’ve seen mounted is that we should ignore his personal life and just focus on the music. So let’s just talk about a few Lispy songs.

(Spotify pays artists the least, so there’s that.)

Loyal has a catchy beat and in the cluh, you probably can catch me doing a cute two-step to it.  But the thing about this song is that it’s a song for men who hate women and want to impress their friends.  He’s insulting the very women who he’s taking home for not being loyal to their regular menfolk because a star is hitting on them.

Like I’m spending my money and time on this lady in the club because I’m interested in her, but she’s not loyal so watch out!

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And the thing about it is that now you basic ass, trifling ass dudes think that this somehow applies to your life.  That’s what is dangerous about these songs.  There are people who don’t see this song for what it is, think that they can mistreat women because they aren’t “loyal.”  It perpetuates the inherit distrust and hatred of women that allows people to treat them like objects instead of human beings.

Girl, fuck you.  Like fuck you for this song.

Now generally, I think I that offenses committed prior to meeting a person should be out of scope in relationship decisions barring things that break the law or are genuinely gross.  But this song is not an earnest plea in order to save a relationship.  It’s not a genuine display of emotion.

This song is, simply put, a transparent grab at telling people to just forget about all of the things he’s done and continues to do.  Don’t pay attention to my fuck-ass video proclaiming my love for both Rihanna and Karrueche.  Nope, that parking lot scuffle with Frank Ocean does not exist!

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Like I said in the first point, Lispy keeps fucking up.  These aren’t isolated instances.  These aren’t situations where he’s been pushed beyond a reasonable limit.  So yes I’m going to judge you and I’m going to continue to hate this song.

Even beyond the message, the beat is plodding, his vocals are probably the weakest I’ve heard them, and the lyrics are treacly at best.  Bye ashy.

3) He Has Real Issues

Now it’s come out that Chris has bipolar disorder and experienced sex at a super early age (8 years old).  This is actually legitimately sad and underneath all of his bravado and antics, you can tell that there’s something brewing.  No one just ups and gets kicked out of a rehab facility.  These are not things that should be taken lightly.  And I’m more than sure he’s on a hell of a lot of drugs.

However, he is not going to get the treatment he needs nor is he going to take these diagnoses seriously if there is no real punishment or time allowed to reflect on his past and where he wants to go.  Celebrities tend to develop a sense of invincibility because of the constant adulation they receive, but those who crave being an alpha male tend to jump head first into maintaining that feeling.  You combine this with the old school definition of being a “man” and you have someone who is  blind to any criticism, regardless of how well meaning it may be.

By having continued success and greater acclaim during this time of turmoil, it appears that Chris’s ego has only grown and in a negative way.  He’s finding chart success with songs that are good for young people’s psyches.  He’s deflecting all punishment and critique instead of realizing where his actions have landed him.

While I can’t attribute all of his problems to his fame and success, I do think that they are playing a huge role in him growing up and making better choices.  So to me, his success only exacerbates the problems that he faces.

I just miss fresh face Chris who did Doublemint commercials and sang Yo!  I mean everyone has to grow up and we all face things that shape us as adults, but there’s a darkness to him that I always see even when he’s Harlem shaking and booty quaking in his videos.  I’ve joked that he looks like he would eat your baby these days.  But seriously, do a Google search.  Homey looks cracked out.  He has to get the help he needs if he’s going to prosper and be great.

I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too deep into it.  What do you all think?  Are you on Team Breezy and think the media is out to get him?  Or is he an egomaniac with mediocre songs that can’t get his shit together?  Let me know in the comments and we’ll chat about it.

Let’s end the post with one of my favorite Lispy jams.

Random Blurbs

Hey People!  It’s Monday!

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Kidding of course…

I don’t quite have enough thoughts for a full post but here’s what’s on my mind as the week starts.

Fighting Shade with Shade

But let’s talk about raggedy people.  You know the ones.  That lie in your face with a shit-eating grin.

This weekend I caught wind of a certain bad-bodied trashbox who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and caused a stir.  Or so he thought.  After discussions with Class, we decided to take Kid Fury‘s advice.

Since someone ran their mouth trying to elevate himself, good luck finding that invitation boo!  A Save The Date ain’t an invitation.  Stay pressed and I hope you didn’t buy that bowtie yet.

The lesson here is that when you can never win when you’re dirty. Act with discretion and consideration and people won’t feel the need to play you.

Solange vs. Jay-Z

I know y’all are buzzing and I’m not here to speculate on the causes and effects of this elevator video.

That said, WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

Like what has got Solange so mad?  Twitter has been ablaze with jokes and commentary.  It’s made the day go by way faster.

But what I do know is that you relationships experts with no man and/or woman can keep your mouths shut on the issue.  We don’t need your input on a soundless video.

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Instantaneous!

Now I’m not Rihanna fan but this song has always been a bop!  But the best part of the song has always been when Sean Paul randomly yells, “INSTANTANEOUS” in the background. (3:11 in the video below)

So perfect.

So that’s what’s on my mind?  What are you thinking about today??

Quickie Post: Got2BReal

Trash is still not really feeling it.

Please enjoy Queen Patti LaHelle and her masterpiece.

Bye y’all!

Class And Trash Jams: Beyoncé

It’s time to announce a new series here on your favorite site.  So because we’re committed to increasing the quality of your iPods, we’ve decided to share a few of our favorite jams for a particular artist each week.

Because Class picked the artist for this first week, it’s time to talk about Beyoncé.

Trash

1) Yoncé/Partition

Despite my next two choices, I love Beyoncé most when she embraces her hood side.  This song in particular changed my entire view on Beyoncé,  moving me from casual fan to staunch defender/junior associate Beyhive member.  The rap >>>>>>

2) Smash Into You

My absolute favorite of Beyoncé’s love songs. She delivers vocally and it’s simply a beautiful song.

3) Love On Top

5 KEY CHANGES.  FIVE!  Love the throwback to the Motown era, love her vocal layering. Did I mention the five key changes??

Class

If you don’t know…I am a PROUD BeyHive Member. 1- 9….EIGHT. ONE!

Beyonce’s catalogue is LITERALLY flawless. Her missteps are still better than mosts (yup B’Day may not have been my favorite but if you don’t think that stops me from listening, you’re WRONG.) What makes Bey better is that her live performance are FAR better than her recorded works. This is a HUGE statement considering her albums are perfect. Picking my three favorite songs might be one of the hardest challenges for me. So i’m only considering live performances. Wish me luck.

1) 1+1 (Dressing Room Edition) 

 

My. God. A keyboard. Beyonce’s Golden Vocals. Harmonies by the Mamas. ANY QUESTIONS?!

2) End Of Time (Revel Edition)

The. End. Of. Time. STOMP! The sickening pink pumps. I am unable.

This song instantly stood out to me on her classic 4 album. It is a perfect dancing song, running song, cooking song, cleaning song, do better in life song, etc. It is perfection and Beyonce ALWAYS gives it her 300%. I dare you to not stomp and body roll up….DARE YOU.

3) Resentment (Live from Las Vegas Edition) 

DO YOU HEAR HER RAT B*TCH RIHANNA?!?! GO IN BEY! SHE AIN’T EVEN HALF OF ME!!!!!!!!! YASSSSSSSS!

The passion Beyonce performed this with is INCREDIBLE. I don’t know who pissed her off that day but the result is incredible. Also…Why are the Mamas so sickening? I hate and love them.

And a special treat!

Never forget where it all began. Destiny’s Child. I stumbled across this gem and thought i’d share. Please enjoy them stomping the f*ck out of the football field. I miss DC3.

“You’re single because you’re rude!”

Heyyyy bitchessss!!!!!

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Y’all know those weeks where you actually have to work? Yeah that was this week. Between teaching and rehearsals I haven’t had a moment to get my life together and my apartment is the living proof of that (hot tranny MESS). Now it’s Friday and I got my victory cocktail in hand….Let’s do this blog thing!

Soooo recently I asked a friend to assess why I was single. To sum it up, I was told that I’m shady and rude to new people when I don’t like them.

ByeAshy

The specific situation went down like this: We were at a bar when these two tricks motioned for us to come over. So we went and sat down. After engaging in a short conversation, I quickly realized “nah girl, this is not for me.” So I Did what Nene Leakes would do and promptly got up and walked away leaving my friend to say “he’s just shy”. Was this right? Yes and no.

No. Because I could have at least ended the conversation politely but… Sometimes my sass gets the better hand of me…When my inner Sasha Fierce takes over, there is no hope.

Yes because….Y’all I just know what I want from a potential mate. I really do. (Trash, I think it’s time we make a list of what things our potential mate ABSOLUTELY needs to have. Like amazing teeth and no student loans or an up to date student loan account). As I approach 27 (DEAR GOD) this year, I feel that I need not settle for the first thing that comes my way. When I see something I don’t like, why am I going to waste my time with it? If someone presented you with a nasty plate of food that you KNOW you don’t like, are you going to eat it?! The answer is no! If you said yes, come over and I’m cooking you the nastiest dish I can create in my kitchen. Complete with the all the stuff that finds it way to the back of the refrigerator and freezer.

People say all the time “date someone you wouldn’t normally be attracted too.” This is cool and all and I agree to an extend; BUT if we walk into the situation and I already have doubts, I PROMISE it won’t work out. For example, I WILL not sit and pretend that I am okay talking to someone that looks and smells like they just crawled out of a sewer. While that person may be WONDERFUL, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care for themselves. Or if you are 35 and you are just working at the window at McDonalds. Now. A job is a job and if I lost mine today, I’d have no shame in taking your order. That will not, however, diminish my ambition to be great. So I can’t POSSIBLY date someone with no ambition or plan to be the best version of themselves.

Am I demanding too much or what? Any relationship guru’s out there COMMENT and help a BROTHA OUT?! She by Sheree doesn’t keep me warm at night! (If you get the reference…Send a message 😉 ) But really is it time for me to lower my standards or keep searching? Let Class know! Tweet us y’all! Comment! Let’s find love in hopeless places together y’all!!!

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Beyonce CONTINUES to be better at life…

So…The Grammy’s happened. I won’t lie, on first view I thought the Bey performance was cute but not LIFE.

Now that I am on my tenth view, I just need us to APPRECIATE how she slayed. First off, if you are calling a her a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut’ literally go find a room full of HONGRY (yes with an O) lions and just sit there and let nature do its thing because you are rude and a hater. Lets not forget that she is a grown MARRIED woman. Now no shade to other artists, BUT Rihanna get up on stage, pats her p*ssy and gets praise. Britney gets up there body all out for the world to see and is the princess of pop. Madonna shows her wrinkly boob and is the queen of pop.

Sometimes it be like….

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1) From the moment she started she had our attention. I don’t think we were ready…..

Flashing Lights…Flashing Liiiiights…

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2) Yes, we get it, she wasn’t singing in the beginning. WHATEVER. Ain’t nobody cared because she served us with this moment.

That wet hair flip. Those eyes. My God

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3)Body.

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4) She stood up.

Ladies and Gentlemen. THIS is proper twerking etiquette. PLEASE take notes. There will be a test this weekend. Her body is so SICKENING. NO ONE can deliver this. NO. ONE. All you basic twerkers, HAVE A SEAT!

DAT BOOTY THO!!!!!!

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5) And then Beyonce brought her HUSBAND Jay-Z out and made him feel awkward….. Can you blame him tho? You literally have the HOTTEST female on the planet grinding up on your body. I’m telling you right now I would have been dead on the floor. Knocked out. Somebody call 9-11. I FULLY understand why Jay just bopped like an awkward middle schooler. Image

6) Surfboardt.

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7) Finally Bey caressed Jay and let him know that this was just the beginning of the night. He clearly was getting the Partition performance later that evening…..

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And then this happened….

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If for some DUMB reason you missed it, here is the FULL performance. PLEASE get into 4:30 to watch Sir Paul McCartney give you his surfboardt bop in the bottom left corner.

Should Beyonce have performed another song? Probably. Is she pressed about her performance? Yeah. Did she STILL snatch your edges? OBVIOUSLY! How does she continue to do this you might be wondering. What people need to realize is that Beyonce’s B- performance is your favs A+. Beyonce on a bad day can STILL outperform….everyone. However, next time we need the dancers, Les Twins, the all-female band, and of the THE MAMAS. We just needed some sickening harmonies, a tenor sax solo, and Ashley serving behind Bey. So no this won’t be in her iconic performance reel but still Queen of the World Bey snatched. Call her a whore to my face and see what happens tho….Fair warning.

As for the rest of the Grammy’s. GIRL BYE.

Congrats Katy Perry for the iconic step, bop, and snap.  I will say this one time only….I TRULY missed Rihanna. Why you ask? The show just missed her basic choreography and all of the wrong notes. Most of the show was just boring and flat. Metallica needs to find Jesus. Also Adele, we know you’re happy and crap but you BETTER be in SOMEONES studio.

That is all I have to say about the Grammy’s.

Happy Tuesday y’all! Stay warm and dry over the next few days east coast!

It’s Britney B*tch!

I love Ms. Britney Jean Spears. I really do. However, someone out there in the internet had the nerve to ask, “Why does Britney Spears always get snubbed at the Grammy’s?” Excuse me?! Britney is the princess of pop but she has fallen off of the throne. You can’t be mad at her either. All she wants to do is have a family, raise her kids, drink a frap, and eat Cheetos. CAN SHE LIVE??! Yet y’all keep demanding more from her and she drags her lazy butt out on the stage only for people to be disappointed in her performance. The Grammy’s haven’t snubbed her, they just recognize that she lacks depth. I understand that at one point she served us aggressive hair flips and fierce choreography….

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But recently…. not so much….

 1)   We all understand that Britney does not sing live a lot of the time. (Trying to be nice here.) Why? Because this is what it sounds like live….

Girl what are those notes? What are those runs?! Is anything about this Grammy worthy?! GURL BYE! PLEASE keep it real and don’t lie on this girl and say those were flawless vocals. Can you imagine at this years Grammy Britney following a P!nk or Adele performance? That would be downright RUDE!

 

2) I can already hear the Brit stans saying, “Well Britney is a dancer. It has always been about performance not about her voice.” That’s good and all but we can’t forget this gem….. 

When Rihanna is laughing…you REALLY have a problem.

 

3) Okay FINE that was a low blow. She was going through some things I get it. She was really slaying the dance scene during the femme fatale era correct? WRONG.COM She was just as lazy and uninspired as ever. 

::lazily pops chests, jumps in air, flips blonde extensions::

I just don’t have the TIME. Whitney Houston….Celine Dion….Mariah Carey… THOSE women win Grammys….Britney Girl, you can win all the VMAs you want. 

4) Maybe the Grammy’s are a bit upset that XFactor allowed her to judge SINGERS…. Out of all the people you could pick to judge SINGING, she might be the least qualified. Who are they going to ask next? Cassie? Ciara? Mickey Mouse? You failed Simon Cowell. 

5) This Gif sums up how many bothers she has left to give…

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I will give credit where credit is due. The new Vegas show looks really cute! I’m not flying out to Vegas to see it because frankly I can listen to the Cd’s and give fierce choreography in my apartment; BUT it does look like she is bending her knees more and flipping her hair with some passion. That should be applauded y’all! (No shade….okay a bit of shade.)

Moral of the story is: Entertaining? YES! Grammy award winner? No to the ma’am. Case closed. Bloopity bloop and plonk. 

Am I the only one who thinks that if she wants a Grammy, she better work b*tch? What are your thoughts? Does Britney still have “it”? Go ahead and follow @ClassNTrashShow on twitter or just follow this blog and let us know in the comments! (Go do it now…RIGHT NOW!) 

Pour it up, Pour it up!!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY Y’ALL!!!!! ::shimmies::

Well for today’s post I decided to share my love for Miss Rihanna Fenty. As a PROUD and very vocal member of the BeyHive, a post praising Rihanna may seem a bit off. Fun fact Friday: I own three Rihanna albums. SO for your Friday post I decided to present to you the top 10 reasons why we should all appreciate the woman known as Rihanna.

1) Let’s be honest. Despite how I feel about her being called an icon (rolls eyes), Rihanna is a stunning Barbadian beauty. There is nothing about her that isn’t pretty. Congrats Rihanna you win all of the beauty prizes. Pretty hurts, right?

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2) Birthday. Cake. THIS SONG SLAYS. That beat hits and all parts of my body go round and round, up and down. Jiggle. Shimmy. Let’s be clear; the version with Chris Brown needs to go die somewhere. I only support the version with JUST Rih. STOP GIVING CHRIS BROWN MONEY. Thanks.

3) Trying to get your workout on? I DARE you to turn on “Where Have You Been” and tell me you don’t run a little faster. Don’t believe me? Try for yourself.

4) Perfect party music. There is no denying it, Rihanna is internationally known to rock a microphone. We all know her and know her songs. Turn on her music everywhere and everyone will be united in body rolling, raising their dranks (yes I meant to type dranks), and getting all of the LIFE to some Rihanna. If you don’t think this is true you haven’t seen a room full of people RUSH to the floor when Birthday Cake plays or you haven’t seen #TeamTrash show everyone how the Rude Boy Choreography REALLY goes (No Shade).

5) This.(Navy fans don’t get offended we allllll have embarrassing videos out there somewhere.)

6) Rihanna has NO TIME to deal with “da Hataz”.

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7) Rihanna also taught us how to deal with all those pesky pregnancy rumors (I hate when that happens.)

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8) She taught us how to get our live bands in CHECK when they mess up.

9) Has your man or woman been acting right all week? Try out these sexy lap dance moves tonight. #AlwaysClassy

10) OH my bad; has he been acting wrong? Oh girl, NO!!!! TIME TO BREAK SOME DISHES! (But this really is one of my favorite Rihanna Songs.)

What are some of you’re favorite Rihanna moments? Hope y’all have a beautiful Friday and enjoy the weekend. Don’t forget to follow us here and then head on over to the Twitter and hit that little follow button @ClassNTrashShow. Stay Classy!