Rihanna

The Purge with Class, Trash, & Asian Sensation

So I just saw a commercial for the Purge Anarchy and thought that this would be a fun quickie post.  And since Asian Sensation is here, she’s going to join me! The challenge is to come up with the first three people you’re taking out if the purge actually happened?

Let’s get started!

Asian Sensation

1) Rihanna

poitup

 

She’s just a terrible human being.  She can’t really sing.  I don’t love her music.  She’s a cyber bully.  An attention whore.  And I just don’t like her.

Don’t call people “Rice Cake.”  I’m Asian.  That’s racist.

Also, don’t come for Ciara.  THE. END.

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2) Miley Cyrus

 

 

smashing!

Also an attention whore.  She needs to stop twerking. White people!  She didn’t invent twerking!  Please cover up your pancakes.  (Her weirdly shaped butt). Stop grinding up on married men.

3) Johnny Manziel

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You’re the king of the douchebags.

Trash

1) Kirk Frost

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The epitome of the ain’t shit men who get away with less than shit.  The kind of simpering, chapped lipped, pleather wearing asshole who eats paste.

2) Ann Coulter

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It’s one thing to be an asshole for Cable News checks.  It’s another to continue to speak when your 15-minutes of fame has run out and the only reason we still hear from you is because Twitter is free.

3) Everyone Who Hasn’t Washed Their Hands after using the Restroom.

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Class

1) The President of FedLoan 

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I’m clearing my debt.  Enough said.

2) Taylor Swift

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I’m taking out Taylor Swift.  Stealing her money.  And returning her Grammy for Album of the Year to the right owner.  Beyonce for “I Am Sasha Fierce.”

3) George Zimmerman

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Cuz we ain’t forgot.  NUCCA.

Share your list party people!

SYTYCD: Case of the Giggles

Hey y’all.  If you may recall, I did a post earlier about some of my favorite routines.  Well today, I wanted to highlight some of the dances that make me smile.  Some are good, some are…not, but either way I chuckle every time I see them.  Let’s get started!

Get It Shawty – Cedric & Faina

Yes!  Faina is a ballroom dancer and her hip hop isn’t as strong.  My favorite part is the when Cedric “takes control of her body” and she just bends her knees.  And then when she pops that thang!

Missin’ You – Jason & Caitlin

CAITLIN’S SOLO!!!!

Ring A Ling – Mollee & Nathan

All of this struggle.

Rocket Man – Allen & Melody

Listen.  Season 1 of this show was a totally different animal.  They actually let a big guy on the show.  And the thing was, he can dance.  But this whole routine was just a fail from start to finish.

Now let’s take a moment for the Dan Karaty Hip Hops of Yore.

Promiscuous – Musa & Natalie

Here I Come – Lacey & Kameron

Let Me – Dmitry & Ashlee

Oh Dan, you were a much better judge than choreographer!

What are some of your favorite struggle routines?  I’m ready for Vegas week y’all!

EDIT: HOLD THE PHONE.  I ALMOST LET THIS POST GO WITHOUT THE MOST TERRIBLE AND HILARIOUS ROUTINE.

What is this? Poor Caitlyn and Mitchell did not deserve this!!!  All of the “emoting”!  The horrible choreography.  The terrible song.  I still remember seeing this and being dumbfounded.

Let’s Talk: Chris Brown

So although it’s Trashy Thursday, I thought today that I’d hold off on the jams and talk about something that’s been bothering me for a bit.

Normally, you’d see a Chris Brown picture here but you know I don’t really want to go through the efforts of uploading any pictures of him.  Understand? I know you do.

Recently, Chris Brown’s jail stay was extended based on a violation of his parole.  All while his song Loyal has cracked the top 10 on Billboard’s charts and his collaboration with Kid Ink is also in the top 40 as well.  Despite the album push backs, none of this has affected his sales and record success.  But to be honest, his success post the incident has always felt a little wrong.  I’m going to try and work out why it bothers me so much.

So let’s flashback to 2009.  Now, I will go on record saying that I remember asking what the hell happened to cause the whole situation.  I remember saying that Chris Brown is terrible and thinking that Rihanna had to have done something for the violence to go that far.  I regret that I may have blamed her or insinuated that she deserved it.

However, my issue with Lispy is not that actual attack even though it was terrible.  It really boils down to the three issues.

1) He Keeps Fucking Up

Now far be it from me to try and psychoanalyze someone far richer and far more famous than me.  But let’s keep it real.  Chris Brown keep getting himself into situations where the police seem to show up.  The DC situation, the window at Good Morning America, the valet situation, and the fight with Drake with the bottles… you know just to name a few.  It might be different if there was only one or two instances, but I didn’t even give you a comprehensive list.

When you’re attempting to change your image and prove that you’re not a bad guy, you would think that you would ALWAYS let your bodyguard handle things.  If you feel yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation.  It’s not that he doesn’t have a right to get angry, but part of being a celebrity is working on your image.  His continued fuckery seriously hampers my ability to give him another shot.

Take an example.  I’m a celebrity with about 3 DUIs.  Do I

a) Drive myself everywhere knowing I’m hitting the club? or

b) Hire a personal driver?

I would think the answer is clear.

2) These Songs…

One of the biggest defenses that I’ve seen mounted is that we should ignore his personal life and just focus on the music. So let’s just talk about a few Lispy songs.

(Spotify pays artists the least, so there’s that.)

Loyal has a catchy beat and in the cluh, you probably can catch me doing a cute two-step to it.  But the thing about this song is that it’s a song for men who hate women and want to impress their friends.  He’s insulting the very women who he’s taking home for not being loyal to their regular menfolk because a star is hitting on them.

Like I’m spending my money and time on this lady in the club because I’m interested in her, but she’s not loyal so watch out!

2

And the thing about it is that now you basic ass, trifling ass dudes think that this somehow applies to your life.  That’s what is dangerous about these songs.  There are people who don’t see this song for what it is, think that they can mistreat women because they aren’t “loyal.”  It perpetuates the inherit distrust and hatred of women that allows people to treat them like objects instead of human beings.

Girl, fuck you.  Like fuck you for this song.

Now generally, I think I that offenses committed prior to meeting a person should be out of scope in relationship decisions barring things that break the law or are genuinely gross.  But this song is not an earnest plea in order to save a relationship.  It’s not a genuine display of emotion.

This song is, simply put, a transparent grab at telling people to just forget about all of the things he’s done and continues to do.  Don’t pay attention to my fuck-ass video proclaiming my love for both Rihanna and Karrueche.  Nope, that parking lot scuffle with Frank Ocean does not exist!

imagination

Like I said in the first point, Lispy keeps fucking up.  These aren’t isolated instances.  These aren’t situations where he’s been pushed beyond a reasonable limit.  So yes I’m going to judge you and I’m going to continue to hate this song.

Even beyond the message, the beat is plodding, his vocals are probably the weakest I’ve heard them, and the lyrics are treacly at best.  Bye ashy.

3) He Has Real Issues

Now it’s come out that Chris has bipolar disorder and experienced sex at a super early age (8 years old).  This is actually legitimately sad and underneath all of his bravado and antics, you can tell that there’s something brewing.  No one just ups and gets kicked out of a rehab facility.  These are not things that should be taken lightly.  And I’m more than sure he’s on a hell of a lot of drugs.

However, he is not going to get the treatment he needs nor is he going to take these diagnoses seriously if there is no real punishment or time allowed to reflect on his past and where he wants to go.  Celebrities tend to develop a sense of invincibility because of the constant adulation they receive, but those who crave being an alpha male tend to jump head first into maintaining that feeling.  You combine this with the old school definition of being a “man” and you have someone who is  blind to any criticism, regardless of how well meaning it may be.

By having continued success and greater acclaim during this time of turmoil, it appears that Chris’s ego has only grown and in a negative way.  He’s finding chart success with songs that are good for young people’s psyches.  He’s deflecting all punishment and critique instead of realizing where his actions have landed him.

While I can’t attribute all of his problems to his fame and success, I do think that they are playing a huge role in him growing up and making better choices.  So to me, his success only exacerbates the problems that he faces.

I just miss fresh face Chris who did Doublemint commercials and sang Yo!  I mean everyone has to grow up and we all face things that shape us as adults, but there’s a darkness to him that I always see even when he’s Harlem shaking and booty quaking in his videos.  I’ve joked that he looks like he would eat your baby these days.  But seriously, do a Google search.  Homey looks cracked out.  He has to get the help he needs if he’s going to prosper and be great.

I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too deep into it.  What do you all think?  Are you on Team Breezy and think the media is out to get him?  Or is he an egomaniac with mediocre songs that can’t get his shit together?  Let me know in the comments and we’ll chat about it.

Let’s end the post with one of my favorite Lispy jams.

Random Blurbs

Hey People!  It’s Monday!

crylaugh

Kidding of course…

I don’t quite have enough thoughts for a full post but here’s what’s on my mind as the week starts.

Fighting Shade with Shade

But let’s talk about raggedy people.  You know the ones.  That lie in your face with a shit-eating grin.

This weekend I caught wind of a certain bad-bodied trashbox who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and caused a stir.  Or so he thought.  After discussions with Class, we decided to take Kid Fury‘s advice.

Since someone ran their mouth trying to elevate himself, good luck finding that invitation boo!  A Save The Date ain’t an invitation.  Stay pressed and I hope you didn’t buy that bowtie yet.

The lesson here is that when you can never win when you’re dirty. Act with discretion and consideration and people won’t feel the need to play you.

Solange vs. Jay-Z

I know y’all are buzzing and I’m not here to speculate on the causes and effects of this elevator video.

That said, WHAT JUST HAPPENED???

Like what has got Solange so mad?  Twitter has been ablaze with jokes and commentary.  It’s made the day go by way faster.

But what I do know is that you relationships experts with no man and/or woman can keep your mouths shut on the issue.  We don’t need your input on a soundless video.

goodday

 

 

Instantaneous!

Now I’m not Rihanna fan but this song has always been a bop!  But the best part of the song has always been when Sean Paul randomly yells, “INSTANTANEOUS” in the background. (3:11 in the video below)

So perfect.

So that’s what’s on my mind?  What are you thinking about today??

Quickie Post: Got2BReal

Trash is still not really feeling it.

Please enjoy Queen Patti LaHelle and her masterpiece.

Bye y’all!

Class And Trash Jams: Beyoncé

It’s time to announce a new series here on your favorite site.  So because we’re committed to increasing the quality of your iPods, we’ve decided to share a few of our favorite jams for a particular artist each week.

Because Class picked the artist for this first week, it’s time to talk about Beyoncé.

Trash

1) Yoncé/Partition

Despite my next two choices, I love Beyoncé most when she embraces her hood side.  This song in particular changed my entire view on Beyoncé,  moving me from casual fan to staunch defender/junior associate Beyhive member.  The rap >>>>>>

2) Smash Into You

My absolute favorite of Beyoncé’s love songs. She delivers vocally and it’s simply a beautiful song.

3) Love On Top

5 KEY CHANGES.  FIVE!  Love the throwback to the Motown era, love her vocal layering. Did I mention the five key changes??

Class

If you don’t know…I am a PROUD BeyHive Member. 1- 9….EIGHT. ONE!

Beyonce’s catalogue is LITERALLY flawless. Her missteps are still better than mosts (yup B’Day may not have been my favorite but if you don’t think that stops me from listening, you’re WRONG.) What makes Bey better is that her live performance are FAR better than her recorded works. This is a HUGE statement considering her albums are perfect. Picking my three favorite songs might be one of the hardest challenges for me. So i’m only considering live performances. Wish me luck.

1) 1+1 (Dressing Room Edition) 

 

My. God. A keyboard. Beyonce’s Golden Vocals. Harmonies by the Mamas. ANY QUESTIONS?!

2) End Of Time (Revel Edition)

The. End. Of. Time. STOMP! The sickening pink pumps. I am unable.

This song instantly stood out to me on her classic 4 album. It is a perfect dancing song, running song, cooking song, cleaning song, do better in life song, etc. It is perfection and Beyonce ALWAYS gives it her 300%. I dare you to not stomp and body roll up….DARE YOU.

3) Resentment (Live from Las Vegas Edition) 

DO YOU HEAR HER RAT B*TCH RIHANNA?!?! GO IN BEY! SHE AIN’T EVEN HALF OF ME!!!!!!!!! YASSSSSSSS!

The passion Beyonce performed this with is INCREDIBLE. I don’t know who pissed her off that day but the result is incredible. Also…Why are the Mamas so sickening? I hate and love them.

And a special treat!

Never forget where it all began. Destiny’s Child. I stumbled across this gem and thought i’d share. Please enjoy them stomping the f*ck out of the football field. I miss DC3.

“You’re single because you’re rude!”

Heyyyy bitchessss!!!!!

giphy

Y’all know those weeks where you actually have to work? Yeah that was this week. Between teaching and rehearsals I haven’t had a moment to get my life together and my apartment is the living proof of that (hot tranny MESS). Now it’s Friday and I got my victory cocktail in hand….Let’s do this blog thing!

Soooo recently I asked a friend to assess why I was single. To sum it up, I was told that I’m shady and rude to new people when I don’t like them.

ByeAshy

The specific situation went down like this: We were at a bar when these two tricks motioned for us to come over. So we went and sat down. After engaging in a short conversation, I quickly realized “nah girl, this is not for me.” So I Did what Nene Leakes would do and promptly got up and walked away leaving my friend to say “he’s just shy”. Was this right? Yes and no.

No. Because I could have at least ended the conversation politely but… Sometimes my sass gets the better hand of me…When my inner Sasha Fierce takes over, there is no hope.

Yes because….Y’all I just know what I want from a potential mate. I really do. (Trash, I think it’s time we make a list of what things our potential mate ABSOLUTELY needs to have. Like amazing teeth and no student loans or an up to date student loan account). As I approach 27 (DEAR GOD) this year, I feel that I need not settle for the first thing that comes my way. When I see something I don’t like, why am I going to waste my time with it? If someone presented you with a nasty plate of food that you KNOW you don’t like, are you going to eat it?! The answer is no! If you said yes, come over and I’m cooking you the nastiest dish I can create in my kitchen. Complete with the all the stuff that finds it way to the back of the refrigerator and freezer.

People say all the time “date someone you wouldn’t normally be attracted too.” This is cool and all and I agree to an extend; BUT if we walk into the situation and I already have doubts, I PROMISE it won’t work out. For example, I WILL not sit and pretend that I am okay talking to someone that looks and smells like they just crawled out of a sewer. While that person may be WONDERFUL, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care for themselves. Or if you are 35 and you are just working at the window at McDonalds. Now. A job is a job and if I lost mine today, I’d have no shame in taking your order. That will not, however, diminish my ambition to be great. So I can’t POSSIBLY date someone with no ambition or plan to be the best version of themselves.

Am I demanding too much or what? Any relationship guru’s out there COMMENT and help a BROTHA OUT?! She by Sheree doesn’t keep me warm at night! (If you get the reference…Send a message 😉 ) But really is it time for me to lower my standards or keep searching? Let Class know! Tweet us y’all! Comment! Let’s find love in hopeless places together y’all!!!

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