rant

Quickie Post: You’re Going To Leave That There?

Real quick.

You ever heard the phrase, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow.  If it’s brown, flush it down.”?

No. NO NO NO. NO.

Who raised you?  Flush the toilet!  We don’t want to walk in and encounter your waste.  We don’t want an unfortunate accident to happen and it fall into your excrement.

It takes 2 seconds.  You can use your foot.  You can use a paper towel.

FLUSH THE TOILET.

Wash your hands afterwards.  I promise it will be okay.

This has been a public service announcement.

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“I GOT THE VOICE” ~Effie White… Not Jhene Aiko. Bye Girl

Jhene Aiko.

Ma’am. You can not sing. The song is cute but you can not SING. You are dismissed.

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Now I know that we all come with different voices. Not everyone can be a Whitney, Mariah, Beyonce, Gaga…hell Miley Cyrus or Demi (they have a voices y’all. Especially Miss Demi…girl can BLOW but is stuck in this pop lane.) Heck Janet Jackson is not a belter or the strongest but she can out dance and out coo your fav. She can make you shimmy and then put you in your feelings. Don’t believe me? Go listen to “If” and then put on “I Get So Lonely.”

I digress. Jhene you are the worst. (okay she’s not the worst ::glares at this new Ashanti song and album::). She is BASIC and y’all are going to stop running around like she is the TRUTH. Wait until Jojo releases an album and shows y’all how to SING. Hell Tori Kelly is making her coins singing at charity events and YouTube gatherings and she can sing CIRCLES around you little girl.

Okay. She’s not really that OFFENSIVE. BUT the song is hella basic and the vocals are so lackluster. OVER IT. What I am HERE for is Jojo REHEARSING “Rapture of Love”. Again…REHEARSING…

In 16 seconds Jojo does what your fav can’t. (Remember that time Britney Spears said she had “whiplash” from whipping her hair too hard? BYE ASHY!) Listen when this vocal queen releases her album it’s going to EVERYTHING (it better not get in the way of Bey taking all of the Grammys tho.) While we are talking about Bey…. If this tour rumor is true…My body is ready AND not ready all at once. BITCH. PARTITION LIVE?! AND I GET TO GET MY HOODRAT ON WITH THE FEW JAY-Z SONGS I KNOW?! Bitch. BITCH.

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What needs to NOT happen is all the hoodrats trying to see Jay snatching tickets before I get mine. OKAY?!

Happy Thursday Y’all!!

Stay Out Of My BUSINESS

Nosey. Ass. Coworkers…. That’s that ish I DON’T LIKE!

One of the struggles about being young in the work place is that some coworkers look down upon our youth and beauty. They act like we are incapable of doing our jobs. Well, you have it twisted….check my credentials. I went on the same damn interview that you went on.

Here’s my situation:

After two years of teaching high school, I felt it was time to jump off of a sinking ship. Sure I loved the crap out of my students but love was not keeping me sane. Not willing to give up on teaching, I spent the summer searching for a new job. I stressed out all summer and then a music position FINALLY opened up. I’m really good at interviews and landed the job. This is where things got awkward…

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I am a band guy. Frankly strings (especially middle school age) irritate me. Well…..SURPRISE I’m required to teach band and ORCHESTRA! The other surprise? The previous director WAS PULLED FROM HER POSITION and is STILL ON STAFF.

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Let me tell you about this ho. She is the f*g 3000 girl (F*g 3000). She is the one I had to block on Facebook because she tried to rat me out about some bull (that was none of her BUSINESS). She constantly comes knocking on my door, looking around my classroom, asking to borrow my lesson plans, and being down right ANNOYING. This morning she comes to me…”did you skip the clinic last weekend?”

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Bitch, are you having a good day?! Don’t answer because I DON’T CARE! Stop worrying about my life. No, I did not go on Saturday and the other BAND DIRECTORS (which you are no longer one of) knew. I have the email saved as proof you jerk. I am so sick of her meddling in my business. Girl, even if I left next year you STILL WOULDN’T GET YOUR JOB BACK because you are NOT good at what you do. Fall Back. Even when she bought a new car, it became “Now you don’t have the newest car anymore ::giggles aways::” Trick, are you FIVE YEARS OLD?

She has one more time to shade me about my eating habits. “I know you’re watching your figure but…” “No one on staff sees you eat?” “Why do you workout so much.” I just want to say…look at me….now look at yourself. I’ll keep doing what I’m doing while you down 35 sodas in a day, eat all the fried, processed, terrible foods for your body; YET you still complain about turning 40, being single, and having high blood pressure and diabetes. You don’t want to this to me.

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I’m not a damn kid. You do not have to babysit me. Stay out of my office, classroom, and email inbox. No one likes you. You are mean, nosy, and you look like a garden gnome. I have had it with you trying to throw me under the bus. Have you noticed, that your students don’t miss you? I’m not the one you want to play with. Okay?!

Thank you and GOOD. DAY.

Nene Hairflip

Y’all have annoying coworkers or nah? Comment, follow, and all that jazz!

Love ya for reading!!!

You Must Be Out of Your Mind

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I’m sorry to keep ranting but who the FUCK made this?

This is literally one of the dumbest things I have ever seen. If you are willing to have sex with a woman under any circumstance, you are responsible for the outcome.  Whether it’s a child or that deadly gonorrhea, whatever happened is the responsibility of both you and the lady.  I am SICK of men trying to duck the responsibilities of raising a child when you are the reason it exists.  It doesn’t matter what the woman did to you, it doesn’t matter what you wanted, you had sex with her and impregnated her.

That child has done nothing to hurt you.  

That child deserves the very best that life has to offer.

You are responsible for providing for that child.

You want to know what prevents pregnancy?  Masturbation.  You want to know what helps prevent pregnancy?  Condoms.  If you don’t have enough self control and enough brainpower to know that the withdrawal method is load of horse shit, you probably should be sterilized.

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Source: StraighfromtheA.com)

Stop blaming these women for not wanting to have abortions.

Stop trying to force women to have abortions.

Stop blaming women because you were too stupid to use protection.

Stop blaming women because you aren’t man enough to take care of your kids.

Stop blaming women because you weren’t raised right.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

PREGNANCY IS YOUR FAULT!

THAT CHILD IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!

It is 2014!  We shouldn’t have to keep saying this to you.  If you don’t want to have kids, take the steps to prevent pregnancy.  Always use your own non-expired condom (and don’t keep it in your wallet).  Make sure you don’t lay down with any woman who you don’t want to have a child with.  Don’t have sex with just any trick from the club.

You mean to tell me you don’t have enough self control to sleep alone for a night? Weak ass…

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Okay, let me calm down.

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We live in a world where too many kids are being raised in single parent homes.  The thing about it is that kids should not be forced to live without knowing both of their parents.  Regardless of the circumstances related to their birth. Just because you don’t want to have anything to do with his or her mother, that does not mean the child should suffer because you are immature.

Too many men are running around acting like children because you weren’t raised to own up to your choices and mistakes.  The moment you decide to be sexually active, you have made the decision that you are ready to be a father.  If you aren’t ready for that, you need to take REAL steps to prevent it from happening.  And if it does happen and that woman decides to give birth, you should immediately make changes to take care of your child.  Actively choosing to deprive your child of the very best makes you scum.  As far as I’m concerned, you can burn in hell.  But that’s just me.

I’m going to take my rage out on video games.  Leave your thoughts below.

Please Act Right In Public

I’m currently monitoring middle school honors orchestra auditions. Imagine hundreds of screeching cats. My head hurts and people’s inability to act right is on my nerves. So here are 5 ways not to piss people off in overly crowded places.

1) DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME.

There are HUNDREDS of people in a small room? Wtf are you pushing me for??? Let’s all calm down, be patient, and act right. It’s not that hard. You KNOW BETTER! One of these days your going to bump into the wrong one and they may punch you in the face.

2) There is NOTHING wrong with saying “excuse me”

Let’s face it. You need to get around the room. Just say excuse me. It’s simple and it keeps me from being EXTRA rude and irritated.

3) Brush your teeth

Listen. If you are walking into a crowded room and yo breath stank?!?! Go somewhere else. Keep your mouth closed. Do ANYTHING that doesn’t involve you opening that mouth spreading the most vile smell ever. While we are on hygiene. WEAR DEODORANT YA NASTY!

4) Don’t talk loudly.

If everyone would talk at a calm speaking level this would not be an issue. Some of y’all want to act like this a playground and yell your conversations. Listen. I don’t care/ WE don’t care about your conversation. Shut. Up. SHUT. UP. They will be the FIRST ones mad when they miss an important announcement. MAYBE IF YOU CLOSED YOUR BIG DAMN MOUTH YOU WOULDN’T HAVE MISSED IT!

5) Please keep your obnoxious laugh to a 5 on a 10 scale.

This goes to you person that snorts really loud or has to cackle at an ear shattering decibel level. Was the joke that funny? Methinks not. Everyone’s laugh is unique and sometimes people say funny things. But you are just laughing to be heard. You’re laughing at a knock joke and we are tired of hearing it. STFU.

Readers. What are some things that just grind your gears that people do in large crowds crammed into a small room? Comment, like, share, and follow! (Twitter:@ClassNTrashShow)

Love y’all!

Hug a Teacher Day

::Taps Microphone::

Is this on? Good. Forgive the coarse language but I am FRUSTRATED.

On Saturday, I have to wake up at 4:30 in the morning. I then have to drive an hour to my job, load a bus at 6 am, to take ONE student TWO AND A HALF HOURS AWAY to Junior Region Orchestra Auditions. And NO, this in not a one weekend deal. I OFTEN find myself getting up at the crack of dawn in order to give my students all the opportunities that they deserve.

Now. Some folks out there think that teaching is easy. “Those that can’t do…teach”.  Some say teachers are OVERPAID (Bitch….BYE!). Some say, “why are you complaining….you have the WHOLE summer off.” Well f*ck you too. Teaching is HARD. WORK. You know when you’re in a grocery store of annoying kids and teenagers…well I get classrooms full of them all day. Together. In one room.

No this is not a rant against the general public’s view of teachers either. Don’t be worried. I’m also going to rant about my trifling, piece of shit, administration. SO it snowed everywhere and we lost two weeks of school. Luckily we do not have to make it up on Saturdays! (Praise report!!!!) But we have to find 25 additional hours tutoring or working Gate Duties at sporting events to make this up. Now, everyday I give up my planning, lunch duties, and after school hours working to give my all to my band and orchestra students.

Now I’m almost POSITIVE that my bitchass principal will be sleeping cozily at 4:30 am on Saturday when I am working a full damn day of listening to middle school orchestra auditions.  I’m also sure that NEXT week when I’m at all-state auditions his ass will be asleep. OH and the weekend after that… two days of all county band, which he won’t show up to, that I’M hosting…..he will relax all day with his family. I’m not looking for a pat on the back. I AM looking for him to realize that, I’m already working OVER my allotted time. ON A REGULAR BASIS. I do not HAVE to do any of this shit. It is NOT in my contract. BUT if I were not to attend these events…I would be viewed as a lousy teacher.

I said it yesterday but…I’m DONE with teaching. DONE. Y’all give us 2 cents a day, work us to death, I got no planning today because we have a meeting FOLLOWED by a staff meeting after school…and they could not give a shit. Y’all can even give us a free meal once and a while??? Meanwhile, people are doing basic ass jobs and make more than me and are much more respected. “Oh you teach middle school? Ohhh that sucks.” Teaching is not about money. I get that. I truly enjoy building meaning and lasting relationships with the student body, while getting the chance to teach music. However, I deserve to be treated better. Maybe if we gave teachers the respect that they deserve (and the pay…let be real), there wouldn’t be so many raggedy, angry, lazy, disgruntled, frustrated, terrible, and miserable teachers. All of the GOOD teachers get the entire f*ck out of teaching because they find it’s not worth it.

So today…Go hug a teacher or tell one you appreciate what they have done for you. We TRULY need it. Remember, “Teachers make all other professions possible.”

And YES, I’m still staying positive this week. I ain’t say NOTHING about containing my frustration though.

Get Your Hands Off Me!

 

 

 

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Get into Louka though!  She’s coming for your faves, the lessers, and their faves too!

But it’s time to talk about personal space.  Now I love a nice hug.  You know I’m looking for a boo to put his arms around me (I’m saying, my email box is empty!)  However, some of you people don’t seem to understand that you are too close to be.

Back up!

I can literally feel your breath on my neck.  I feel your heartbeat behind me.  I DO NOT LIKE IT!

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But let’s calm down for a second.  What I mean here is that I’m a man who likes my space. Don’t come too close unless I’ve invited you in.  We need to have a relationship that merits the type of closeness that you seem to think is okay.   I don’t need you on me white on rice on a paper plate in snow storm.  I don’t need your loving arms around me 24/7 you know.  Go pet a puppy or something.  Eat some Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

I may be your Caramel Delight, but we need some boundaries.

What’s a pet peeve of yours?  Are people a little too desperate for human contact in the digital age?  Let us know in the comments!

Peace, love, and chicken grease!