nsfw

Trashy Thursday: Some Classic Hoodrat Tunes

It’s tiem to get back into Trashy Thursday!  It’s been far too long since we’ve taken a deep dive in to some music for the basics of the world.  Let’s get started!  As per usual, this one is Not Safe For Work so watch and listen accordingly.

1) N*ggaz Ain’t Shit – Mercedes

Monkey on the dick, monkey on the dick!

Listen, as the queen of No Limit for about 2 weeks, Mercedes went on to release bomb ass song after bomb ass song.  I live for her.  This song is so relentlessly catchy, fun to sing along to, and ridiculously vulgar.  I LOVE IT.

If you’ve been paying any attention to me, I love female rap that essentially brags about how bomb she is.  As a huge proponent of faux confidence, these songs speak to me on a fundamental level.  This song is all about how wack these raggedy men are in comparison to her.  And you can’t take her beat or her bang.

“Not your average bitch,
My shit’s on balance.
Pretty face, nice ass and talent!
Never miss a challenge.”

snowwhitetwerk

2) Slob On My Cat Pt. 2 – La Chat

“Get ya knees dirty boy, Eat a bish cat or somethin!”

obama

La Chat is a goddess.  We last checked in with her in the Chickenhead video, which we all know is a classic.  But here she has the starring role and you simply can not take.  This is a play on “Slob on My Knob” which is another iconic bop.

“Bet he went home and kissed his bish on the mouth. EWW!”

She collaborated most with Three 6 Mafia & Project Pat, but there’s something great about a lady-rapper who is just aggressive.  She’s not trying to be soft despite the vulgar nature of the song.  She’s demanding sex.  And while true equality between the sexes is not just turnabout, it’s refreshing to hear a woman just make a song that says “I want sex.  Why am I not being pleasured yet?”

3) That’s My Juvie – Magnolia Shorty

“DEM HOES BET NOT FUCK WIT MY JU-VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

Now I don’t know how many of you are familiar with New Orleans Bounce Music, but what’s important is that you essentially don’t stop moving your ass when you hear it.  It’s perfect.  You might be more familiar with Homegurl which samples it.  I like both, but the original will always have a special place in my heart.

It’s dumb and repetitive.  And it’s perfect.

pandajiggle

4) One Night Stand – L’il Jon & The Eastside Boys f. Oobie

“I’m seeing me on top of you, doing things that lovers do.  But I don’t belong to you, what’s a girl supposed to do?”

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned Oobie on the blog.  I did!  This song was a trashy hoodrat anthem before “thot” ever became hot.  As I mentioned, Oobie can’t even really sing.  But her sweet, thin voice singing these trashy lyrics serve as a perfect counterpoint to L’il Jon’s uhhh…”rapping.”

But while this song encourages cheating as way to “respect” their relationships, but you know no one is looking.  It’s only for this ONE NIGHT y’all.  We won’t do it again.

The message of this song is so trashy but I fucking love this song.  It’s so dumb.

piddlin

“If you know how to keep a secret, you can get it FOR SURE. 
Just make sure you get enough, cuz you can’t get it NO MORE”

5) Phatty – CCB

“Now your girlfriend’s mad cuz I got what she never had!” 

So we’ve gone to New Orleans and now it’s up to DC where gogo reigns supreme.  Now my undergrad institution seemingly recruited 90% of its African-American population from this area which meant that every party gave us a gogo moment where we all beat our feet and broke a sweat.

It’s also repetitive and doesn’t require much of a singing voice, but it’s just so much fun.  Like you may be annoyed at first, but if you have any slice of rhythm, you’re going to find yourself booty popping by the second chorus.  I’ll have to do a post featuring some of my favorite go-go memories from my time in college. Best believe that this will show up.

lovato

So what are your thoughts?  Did I miss some of your favorites?  My playlist is always open.  Have a great day, y’all!


 

This has nothing to do with anything but never forget.

thishappened

 

Advertisements

Trashy Thursday: The Hoodrat Tunes of Youtube, Part 2

It’s Thursday, Thursday.  Getting Trashy on Thuuuursday!!

fun

 

So I hope that you all are having a great day.

It’s time to take another deep dive into my YouTube favorites for hilarious musical delights.  See Part 1 here.

1) Donk In The Trunk – Mowett Ryder

Listen.  I’m going to tell you right now that I bopped to this one.

“Stop drop drop, pick it up then drop it!”

Mowett definitely has some good friends because while it looks okay, is definitely a budget version of Lady’s Yankin video.  Her booty shots are questionable but you can tell her hips don’t lie.  Also, the scene where the two men release her from the trunk so she can twerk has me dying.

AND THEN!!!! She slides a credit card down the crack of one of her video dancers.  BUT SHE PICKS THE ONE WITH THE FLATTEST OF ASSES.

beylaugh

She does the rest of the girls but I am dying.

AND THEN, we see a girl on a handstand popping it for one of the trunk negros and he proceeds to make it drizzle on her with about $4.

I. CAN. NOT!

2) Cupcakin’ – J. Nash and J-Stalin

Let’s slow it down for all the ladies out there.

We’re back to flip phone production levels here.

On Sunday, we can go to chuuuuurch! ::jump cut to him standing outside of a chruch::

So romantic y’all.  The shoulder rolls.  The ashy lips.  The harmonies.  The Casio keyboard background.

He continues through the days of the week in the second verse.

WHEN HE BODYROLLS IN FRONT OF THE WATERFALL!!!!

Is that a green screen J. Nash???  This poor girl looks so sad that she is in this video.  That blazer with the popped collar.

ashton-kutcher-laughing

And then J-Stalin is here.  Umm, what is this verse?  What just happened??

This is amazing.

3) Queen of The Lesbians 

Now I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t tell you that this is a remake of the Queen of Vagina.  Majela will get her own post because there’s just so much to talk about.

Seriously, one of the greatest to ever do it.  This girl is so serious.  I can’t even comment, I’m just going to leave the lyrics to the four verses of this masterpiece.

Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.
Girls come and see my vagina, ehhh.
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.

I am queen of the lesbians,
Queen of the lesi-lesbians,
Lesbians.  Lesbians.
I am queen of the lesbians.

Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.
Girls come and see my vagina, ehhh.
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.

Women, they love me.
I use them to have sex. Oh.
Women, they love me,
I use them to have sex.

I love women.
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Oh.
I love women.
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Oh.
I love women.
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Oh.

4) Ting Ting – J-Menace

YES YES YES YES!

Now those of us of a certain age group will fondly (or not so fondly) remember BET Uncut.  This was where BET showed their trashiest, most low budget hoodrat tunes.  Essentially, if a video was filmed in a strip club, it would appear here.  I got so many classic jams from this show.

SHAAAAAAAAKE that ting ting! 

The grammar.  The forced rhymes.  The off beat body rolls.  I just can not take it.

My personal favorite line: “The way that ting ting.  Shift.  Sides.”

What are your favorites?  Let us know in the comments or on the Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.

 

 

Let’s Talk: Mimi Faust Does Porn

Happy Monday Readers,

Sorry about the absence. Hope that you all had a super exciting weekend!

So Mimi and her overgrown naked mole rat of a boyfriend have unleashed their “sex tape” porno flick to a flurry of tweets, blog posts, and reactions.

nikko

This is after the super trailer for Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was released.

 <div><a href=”http://www.vh1.com/shows/love_and_hip_hop_atlanta/series.jhtml&#8221; style=”color: #439cd8;” target=”_blank”>Love &amp; Hip Hop Atlanta</a></div>

Now I (Trash) love this show in all of its basic glory. From the moment Joseline sang Bailar and Karlie Redd served us Louis, Prada, Gucci, I was hooked. The show is hilarious and the amount of fuckery this cast exposes is just glorious.

Now Mimi has always come across as a relatively composed, if somewhat weak willed woman. Her stupid relationship with Stevie J and her allowance of the constant disrespect people show her have turned me off. She doesn’t make wise decisions and she puts it all out there on VH1 for the world to see.  This is a woman that let Joseline refer to her as Molly the Maid to her face.

The chase for fame is why we are in this situation now. And that’s what I’m here to talk about today.

Now, I read about this situation on Funky Dineva a few months ago. My first thought was why would a woman with a child willingly participate in a staged “sex tape” with an unsigned “rapper/producer”? The only acceptable reason for me seemed to be that perhaps she couldn’t afford to take care of her daughter.

But here’s the thing, Mimi is still a cast member on a successful and popular reality show. Stevie J, for ALL of his faults, seems to be on the same page with providing monetary support for their daughter. She also has that maid business. Between these ventures, there should be enough coins to reasonably care for her daughter.

That’s what makes this so baffling. This seems like such a poor decision. But it’s one that makes complete sense given her history.

The problem with Mimi, much like many other young parents, is that she has forgotten that her desires and whims should not come before those of her daughter. Her decision to release this tape with a boyfriend while in the public eye simply comes off as a desperate plea for attention and “stardom.”

Let’s be clear, Mimi is not a slut or hoe for having sex on camera. She should not be told she can’t make this decision. There’s a ton of women and men who have done worse for less.

Joseline is judging her like we haven’t seen her with foreign objects in her poonani. K. Michelle is judging her like she doesn’t have grape jelly in her derrière.

That’s not the argument.

That said, we’ve now seen her inner and outer labia and Nikko’s gross face hanging from a shower rod. I’m not a psychic, but I’m 99.99% sure this is not going to make them famous. It’s not going to lead to a record deal. It’s not going to lead to a spin off show. It’s not going to gain any level of fame that she already didn’t have.

But she is going to find that she has lost any sort of moral high ground or position of trust that she had. She is now responsible for explaining this decision and the public’s reaction to this. And had she thought about the repercussions of this for that child, she might have truly thought this through.

What do you all think?  Was Mimi irresponsible or expressing herself as an adult?  Would you do this?  Let us know in the comments below.