mercedes

Trashy Thursday: Some Classic Hoodrat Tunes

It’s tiem to get back into Trashy Thursday!  It’s been far too long since we’ve taken a deep dive in to some music for the basics of the world.  Let’s get started!  As per usual, this one is Not Safe For Work so watch and listen accordingly.

1) N*ggaz Ain’t Shit – Mercedes

Monkey on the dick, monkey on the dick!

Listen, as the queen of No Limit for about 2 weeks, Mercedes went on to release bomb ass song after bomb ass song.  I live for her.  This song is so relentlessly catchy, fun to sing along to, and ridiculously vulgar.  I LOVE IT.

If you’ve been paying any attention to me, I love female rap that essentially brags about how bomb she is.  As a huge proponent of faux confidence, these songs speak to me on a fundamental level.  This song is all about how wack these raggedy men are in comparison to her.  And you can’t take her beat or her bang.

“Not your average bitch,
My shit’s on balance.
Pretty face, nice ass and talent!
Never miss a challenge.”

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2) Slob On My Cat Pt. 2 – La Chat

“Get ya knees dirty boy, Eat a bish cat or somethin!”

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La Chat is a goddess.  We last checked in with her in the Chickenhead video, which we all know is a classic.  But here she has the starring role and you simply can not take.  This is a play on “Slob on My Knob” which is another iconic bop.

“Bet he went home and kissed his bish on the mouth. EWW!”

She collaborated most with Three 6 Mafia & Project Pat, but there’s something great about a lady-rapper who is just aggressive.  She’s not trying to be soft despite the vulgar nature of the song.  She’s demanding sex.  And while true equality between the sexes is not just turnabout, it’s refreshing to hear a woman just make a song that says “I want sex.  Why am I not being pleasured yet?”

3) That’s My Juvie – Magnolia Shorty

“DEM HOES BET NOT FUCK WIT MY JU-VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

Now I don’t know how many of you are familiar with New Orleans Bounce Music, but what’s important is that you essentially don’t stop moving your ass when you hear it.  It’s perfect.  You might be more familiar with Homegurl which samples it.  I like both, but the original will always have a special place in my heart.

It’s dumb and repetitive.  And it’s perfect.

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4) One Night Stand – L’il Jon & The Eastside Boys f. Oobie

“I’m seeing me on top of you, doing things that lovers do.  But I don’t belong to you, what’s a girl supposed to do?”

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned Oobie on the blog.  I did!  This song was a trashy hoodrat anthem before “thot” ever became hot.  As I mentioned, Oobie can’t even really sing.  But her sweet, thin voice singing these trashy lyrics serve as a perfect counterpoint to L’il Jon’s uhhh…”rapping.”

But while this song encourages cheating as way to “respect” their relationships, but you know no one is looking.  It’s only for this ONE NIGHT y’all.  We won’t do it again.

The message of this song is so trashy but I fucking love this song.  It’s so dumb.

piddlin

“If you know how to keep a secret, you can get it FOR SURE. 
Just make sure you get enough, cuz you can’t get it NO MORE”

5) Phatty – CCB

“Now your girlfriend’s mad cuz I got what she never had!” 

So we’ve gone to New Orleans and now it’s up to DC where gogo reigns supreme.  Now my undergrad institution seemingly recruited 90% of its African-American population from this area which meant that every party gave us a gogo moment where we all beat our feet and broke a sweat.

It’s also repetitive and doesn’t require much of a singing voice, but it’s just so much fun.  Like you may be annoyed at first, but if you have any slice of rhythm, you’re going to find yourself booty popping by the second chorus.  I’ll have to do a post featuring some of my favorite go-go memories from my time in college. Best believe that this will show up.

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So what are your thoughts?  Did I miss some of your favorites?  My playlist is always open.  Have a great day, y’all!


 

This has nothing to do with anything but never forget.

thishappened

 

A Tribute: Shake Ya Body

It’s come to my attention that some of you have not paid tribute to the one of the greatest music videos and songs of all time.  Well, we here at Class & Trash will not stand for any slander nor any shade for the iconic and legendary Shake Ya Body by Tyra Banks.  Let’s talk about it.

We start the video with Tyra and Jay Manuel freaking out in the dressing room.  Her long curly blond wig shaking.  We catch April, Yoanna, and Sara strutting on the runway before Tyra RIPS OFF HER WIG in frustration to reveal bright red cornrows.  The drama.  The acting.  You can’t take it.

We get to the pre-chorus is a bop.

Let me see you! Take it slow.
Move your body! Let me know.
Let me see you! Lose control.
Leave it up to me to take control of ya!

bodyrollpoint

 

So let me see what you’re working with! Yeah.
I need to see if you move like this. Yeah.
And if you can’t keep up with me, I’ll.  Yeah.
Cuz when it comes to this, I don’t! Play-ahh!

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Yes!  All types of yes.  At this point, you should be bopping your shoulders and flipping your imaginary wig.  The chorus is catchy and you’re dancing in your chair.

The moans with the “Come on, baby!” snatch.

We then get to the second verse & chorus where we get to see Tyra serve you choreography.  Model sexy choreography.  And pop and pop, arm and arm.  Booty shiggle!  We also know that these sensual moves were courtesy of Tony from the episode who gave us the best dance-off ever.

And then Tyra’s iconic microphone lick!  Yes. Yes. Yes.

So then we move to the bridge, which it seriously amazing.  The beat cools down and Tyra’s doing her ad-lib thang over the lyrics wearing a bikini that’s basically a cargo net.  She’s wet and grinding up on the man-candy in the video.

Let me say this
Your body’s callin’ me
I can hear it speak (WOO!)
So let me please you
Just grab my hips real tight
And enjoy the ride
It’s up to you
To make me feel the heat
And let me know if you can keep up with me

The woo is perfect.  PERFECT I TELL YOU!

And then the beat drops and we get the “SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT! OOHOHOHHHHH…” which is flawless.

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At this point, you’ve lost yourself to the song.  You’re popping and twerking and getting right!

But then! Camille, Mercedes, and Shandi close us out with the fabulous choreo by dropping it to the floor and serving you hoes.

And just in case you forgot the greatness that is Yoanna filming her dance sequence.

Yes!  The arms.  The shimmy.  The splat!

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I also didn’t want you to forget Camille’s “talk to the hand” choreography.

I can not let you leave with Mercedes’ forgetting the choreography.

And lastly, April’s herky jerky dancing greatness with Janice’s comments.

Listen, this song is life changing.  The episode is brilliant.  The video is fabulous.

Don’t you ever come for it again!  Share your favorite Shake Ya Body memory or get blocked.

You Could Have Kept This, Anthony Lewis

Happy Monday!

Have y’all heard this??

noperaja

 

What you’re not going to do is take a classic R&B jam from the 90’s by a talented group of unattractive mens and turn it into…this.

Like you just took the beat from I’m Different even though it’s less than two years old.

Like you added this horrendous rap.  Like the rapper version of Gia Gunn.

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Like you added those HORRENDOUS vocals.  Those thin nasally notes.

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But really, this song makes me irrationally angry.  It’s trading on the nostalgic value of two far superior songs with two barely mediocre talents.  The fact that it is getting any airplay really bothers me.  Anthony does not sound good.  Anthony does not add anything to the song.  He cribs the ad-libs and it sounds like it’s killing him to sing the song.

Billy Bang has less talent that J-Kwon and his rhymes are trash.  TRAAAAAASH-UH.

Ugh…BYE ASHY!

Let’s end with the far superior original.

Do you hear the smooth harmonies?  The pleasing production with the funky drum beat?  Did you do the dance instinctively??

Right.