Mediocre

The Return of Class!

Class is…

B –  to the mother effing -A-C-KKKKKKKKKKKK!!! Alrooooiiiiiight!!!!

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::snaps fingers in Z formation::

Shout out to that trashy hooker Trash for holding down the fort but it is time for me to return! Life got really REAL the past two months. I swear I’ve been sick for weeks straight. The weather still remains to suck and then be fabulous and then suck the next day. I’ve actually been TRYING to be shit at work, applying for new jobs, rehearsing for a musical, performing in a musical, and manage to squeeze a workout in! WHO RUN DIS MOTHA?! Not me.

Despite my efforts to be GREAT I remain: broke, unfulfilled in my job, wanting to move someplace new and start over but not wanting to give up the comfort I have now, single, not in the sickening shape I want to be, single as hell, not Beyonce, not on Broadway or on a reality show, without a yacht, no penthouse in my name, oh and did I mention single as F*CK?

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So the single thing has really been on my nerves. It has been a GOOD moment since I’ve had anyone worth a damn in my life. It really got to me when my rotten toothed, bitchass, rude, and just terrible coworker found her a boo-thang. If that over-sized Gollum looking creature can find someone…then it really must be me y’all.

I’m not going to do this today…. Let me calm myself….

As I approach 27……

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( moving on)…..I just feel that I should feel more like an adult and have an adult life and adult things. But alas, I’m still stuck in broke (really broke) college kid mode with a job that ACTUALLY requires me to put in effort. (Damn I miss those college jobs where you were paid to show up and be the funny black person in the office.) So what will it take for me to achieve greatness? A trust fund would be a great start. Or a rich baby daddy…

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But until that happens….I guess I’ll continue to be mediocre? Blah. So this is where you give me tips on how to be great! Ready?! GO!!!!

 

 

 

My Grits Are Overcooked.

You ever have a week when everyone/everything is on your damn nerves? That has been this week for me.

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The weather is on the next level bull shit. It’s raining, snowing, sleeting, and its too damn cold….and then its 70 degrees. I’m over it COMPLETELY. My body is giving up. Like, I have this hint of a cold and I want it to go the EFF away. Whoever pissed mother nature off can apologize NOW. This weather makes me mad and I just want to push people down on the street.

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My apartment is a damn mess. I mean a DAMN MESS. I just don’t have the time to do what needs to be done. So clothes are everywhere. Dishes are taking over and I hate it. I go home and just flop because I can’t deal. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of cleaning that needs to be done. Maybe I’ll get it done this weekend…oh wait…I’m working this weekend again.

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People are on my nerves. Like some of the statements people make on the internet piss me the eff off. SHUT. UP. There is a fine line between celebrating life moments and throwing it in our faces. There is a fine line between health tips and just sounding stupid because we know deep down you aren’t eating to lose weight. There is a fine line between reality and the imaginary world that people tweet, Facebook, or blog about. It’s just annoying. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of being annoying but some take it to the next level. Maybe it’s time for a social media break? Who knows. Why do people try SO DAMN HARD to be someone that they are not?! UGH.

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I’m tired of useless, unwarranted advice. My coworker is the worst about this. Bitch you don’t need to tell me what to do. EVER. Leave me alone. It’s worse when you turn to a friend and they add their two cents in on how to handle it. SHUT UP. This is when I pretend that my phone is breaking up. “Oh girl, I gotta go!” This has been the week of unsolicited advice and I’m over it. Unless your Oprah or Beyonce, you can skip me with advice unless I ask.

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I’m tired of feeling mediocre. I just want so much out of life and I feel stuck. Trapped with potential and no outlet to be f*cking great(f*cking great differs from being just great). So what is the solution? If I knew, I would have the money, man,  and the private island that I dream about. So what is my temporary solution? Girl scout cookies. Lots and lots of girl scout cookies.

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How has your week been? Let us know!