So this past weekend was the family reunion which was great fun. In addition, I got to see Dash and Overactive Blogger which is always a delight! While at the seductive pool hall, OB reminded me of what is one of the greatest discoveries of all time. Take it away, Mary Kate and Ashley!
Western line dancing, vogue, AND HIP HOP FREESTYLE?!?!
Listen. I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t know they were going to keep it so sensual.
Next the ladies show us how to Charleston. (01:45)
Meh…it’s no retro. But I live for the green-screened effects.
One of them tells us we’re going to like this one big time as it’s our first solo! (2:22)
Get in to her flawless footwork and hip movement! Karina Smirnoff could never! So polished and professional!
We’re intro-ed into our sock hop dance with the greeting “Major Fun!” (03:00)
No thanks Ashley Kate.
“This one is hard! Don’t stress!” for our 60’s dance lesson (03:37)
You can’t take this twist and shout! Nor that take it to the floor girls. Your fave can’t even compete.
SCORE! (04:02)
Ummmm…Mary Ashley? That’s the electric slide. Now, far be it from me to question our two intrepid dancing divas. But really?? Those little turns aren’t going to distract me.
Try a little harder next time my dear.
Line dancing is totally the coolest, Mary! (05:08)
Nothing to see here. I do enjoy that she used the whole dancing space.
Holy shit, one of them is about to Vogue. (05:52)
Get into the fierce hand movement. The seductive steps. The side to side with the Walk-Like-An-Egyptian arms.
This is what I am talking about. COME ON SEASON SIX!
And now for our grand finale, it’s time for iconic hip hop freestyle!!!!! (07:07)
So…The Grammy’s happened. I won’t lie, on first view I thought the Bey performance was cute but not LIFE.
Now that I am on my tenth view, I just need us to APPRECIATE how she slayed. First off, if you are calling a her a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut’ literally go find a room full of HONGRY (yes with an O) lions and just sit there and let nature do its thing because you are rude and a hater. Lets not forget that she is a grown MARRIED woman. Now no shade to other artists, BUT Rihanna get up on stage, pats her p*ssy and gets praise. Britney gets up there body all out for the world to see and is the princess of pop. Madonna shows her wrinkly boob and is the queen of pop.
Sometimes it be like….
1) From the moment she started she had our attention. I don’t think we were ready…..
Flashing Lights…Flashing Liiiiights…
2) Yes, we get it, she wasn’t singing in the beginning. WHATEVER. Ain’t nobody cared because she served us with this moment.
That wet hair flip. Those eyes. My God
3)Body.
4) She stood up.
Ladies and Gentlemen. THIS is proper twerking etiquette. PLEASE take notes. There will be a test this weekend. Her body is so SICKENING. NO ONE can deliver this. NO. ONE. All you basic twerkers, HAVE A SEAT!
DAT BOOTY THO!!!!!!
5) And then Beyonce brought her HUSBAND Jay-Z out and made him feel awkward….. Can you blame him tho? You literally have the HOTTEST female on the planet grinding up on your body. I’m telling you right now I would have been dead on the floor. Knocked out. Somebody call 9-11. I FULLY understand why Jay just bopped like an awkward middle schooler.
6) Surfboardt.
7) Finally Bey caressed Jay and let him know that this was just the beginning of the night. He clearly was getting the Partition performance later that evening…..
And then this happened….
If for some DUMB reason you missed it, here is the FULL performance. PLEASE get into 4:30 to watch Sir Paul McCartney give you his surfboardt bop in the bottom left corner.
Should Beyonce have performed another song? Probably. Is she pressed about her performance? Yeah. Did she STILL snatch your edges? OBVIOUSLY! How does she continue to do this you might be wondering. What people need to realize is that Beyonce’s B- performance is your favs A+. Beyonce on a bad day can STILL outperform….everyone. However, next time we need the dancers, Les Twins, the all-female band, and of the THE MAMAS. We just needed some sickening harmonies, a tenor sax solo, and Ashley serving behind Bey. So no this won’t be in her iconic performance reel but still Queen of the World Bey snatched. Call her a whore to my face and see what happens tho….Fair warning.
As for the rest of the Grammy’s. GIRL BYE.
Congrats Katy Perry for the iconic step, bop, and snap. I will say this one time only….I TRULY missed Rihanna. Why you ask? The show just missed her basic choreography and all of the wrong notes. Most of the show was just boring and flat. Metallica needs to find Jesus. Also Adele, we know you’re happy and crap but you BETTER be in SOMEONES studio.
That is all I have to say about the Grammy’s.
Happy Tuesday y’all! Stay warm and dry over the next few days east coast!
