Love

You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride

Hey people!

We’re back!  Both Class and I decided to take the long weekend and just relax a bit.  That doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about you.  As a brief update, I went out a bit this weekend, had a cookout at my new place, and ate all my lost weight in food.

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But let’s get back into the dating scene.  I’m currently on the hunt for a boo-thing to spend time with.  I’m not even ashamed to admit that.  I was inspired to sit down and really come up with a list of qualities that I’m looking for.  I thought that I’d share them with you as a means of thinking my way through this process.  So let’s break this down:

Required

1) Nice Teeth

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So seriously, you have to have your teeth in check.  A nice smile is so warm and inviting.  It just makes me want to talk to you and work hard to make someone smile.  Also, the attention to detail paid to teeth is a sign that you pay attention to the things that matter.  At least to me.

2) Positive Attitude

focus

So, I love sarcasm. I love being lazy.  But the truth of the matter is that whenever I do find someone, I really want someone who is willing to help me be better.  Like tell me to go to the gym or go work out with me.  Someone to tell me to study and get up from watching my 20th episode of Fairly Oddparents in a row.  It’s not that I won’t do it by myself, but it’s always nice to feel like you have someone’s support.  Especially as I continue to try and improve myself.

3) Rhythm

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I don’t think it’s a secret that I love to dance like Nathaniel. And I need my boo to keep up.  I also love a random dance party which involves me putting on a playlist and getting Janet Jackson around my house.  I need you to join me without even blinking.

4) Intelligence

smart

I’m not saying that you have to be a rocket scientist, but I do want to discuss real issues occasionally.  I want to feel like I can learn something from you and that you can do the same.  Silliness is way more fun when you know there’s some brain power behind it.

5) Sense of Humor

hilarious

I need to laugh, boo!  I want to go joke for joke.  I want to be in stitches when you tell me stories.  Please don’t take yourself so seriously.

This is a non-negotiable.  But honestly, if you can’t laugh together what kind of relationship do you have?

Would Likes

1) My Height or Taller

heights

I’m not a tall man.  I’m average height.  What’s wrong with being close to my height?  This used to be a hard and fast rule for me, but I’m working on being less superficial and therefore, have softened my stance.  It’s still a preference though.

2) Facial Hair

ambrose

Tee Hee, his name is Ambrose Burnside.  Who doesn’t love historical humor??

But seriously, I like a little bit of hair on a dude.  It’s not necessary, but it seriously improves some people’s looks.

3) Independent

independent

Let me be clear.  This is still a requirement, but I’ve moved it down to this section because I’ve loosened a bit on what independent means.  Independent means self-sufficient with a plan for the future.  I want you to have a car and a home, but I understand staying with a relative to save up money for a specific reason.  I understand cost cutting, especially while working on second degrees.

Essentially, I want an adult who is making reasonable adult decisions in order to live a better life.  I don’t have time to be childish.

So I think that this is my list.  I’m sure there are other traits that will come to light later.  What about you all?  What are the non-negotiables for you? What can you live without even if you prefer it.

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Quickie Post: Blood Orange

Not the fruit, y’all.

But I’ve been recently listening to Cupid Deluxe album by Blood Orange.  He was one of the primary producers on Solange’s EP True, which I adore.  It’s very late 80’s synth pop interpreted for the current age.  If you like minimalism in your music, sparse harmonies, funky bass grooves and metaphors in your music, I think that you will enjoy the album.  It is a full experience where hooks and choruses are referenced in multiple songs to fit the theme of love, heartbreak, and dealing with self worth.

I’m embedding the full album for you all to enjoy before I talk about my favorite song.

So I absolutely adore all of the songs with the exception of High Street, but Chamakay is the stand out track for me.  I think that the production of the track conveys the separation and melancholy perfectly.  The uses of echos and having both the male and female voice personalizes the song in a way I’m not sure could be captured another way.

The song is direct but there is just enough mystery to the lyrics.  Absolutely adore this.  Here are the lyrics and take a listen.

Let me know what your favorite track is.

Chamakay

If giving left me lonely
If giving was my friend
I’m keeping all the old themes
I’m keeping my loose ends

But now you’re feeling empty
I tried my best last time
I’ll leave you with your feelings
I’ll leave you in your lies

I’m nothing without subtle
Heartache at its best
Are you the one who breaks my
Heart out of my chest

[Chorus x2]

I’ll never leave you if you’re think that it’s all the same
I’ll never trust you if you’re think that it’s just a game
I see you waiting for a guy/girl like me to come along
Baby girl you’re wrong

If giving left me lonely
If giving was my friend
I’m keeping all the old themes
I’m keeping my loose ends

But now you’re feeling empty
I tried my best last time
I’ll leave you with your feelings
I’ll leave you in your lies

[Chorus x2]

Class And Trash Jams: Beyoncé

It’s time to announce a new series here on your favorite site.  So because we’re committed to increasing the quality of your iPods, we’ve decided to share a few of our favorite jams for a particular artist each week.

Because Class picked the artist for this first week, it’s time to talk about Beyoncé.

Trash

1) Yoncé/Partition

Despite my next two choices, I love Beyoncé most when she embraces her hood side.  This song in particular changed my entire view on Beyoncé,  moving me from casual fan to staunch defender/junior associate Beyhive member.  The rap >>>>>>

2) Smash Into You

My absolute favorite of Beyoncé’s love songs. She delivers vocally and it’s simply a beautiful song.

3) Love On Top

5 KEY CHANGES.  FIVE!  Love the throwback to the Motown era, love her vocal layering. Did I mention the five key changes??

Class

If you don’t know…I am a PROUD BeyHive Member. 1- 9….EIGHT. ONE!

Beyonce’s catalogue is LITERALLY flawless. Her missteps are still better than mosts (yup B’Day may not have been my favorite but if you don’t think that stops me from listening, you’re WRONG.) What makes Bey better is that her live performance are FAR better than her recorded works. This is a HUGE statement considering her albums are perfect. Picking my three favorite songs might be one of the hardest challenges for me. So i’m only considering live performances. Wish me luck.

1) 1+1 (Dressing Room Edition) 

 

My. God. A keyboard. Beyonce’s Golden Vocals. Harmonies by the Mamas. ANY QUESTIONS?!

2) End Of Time (Revel Edition)

The. End. Of. Time. STOMP! The sickening pink pumps. I am unable.

This song instantly stood out to me on her classic 4 album. It is a perfect dancing song, running song, cooking song, cleaning song, do better in life song, etc. It is perfection and Beyonce ALWAYS gives it her 300%. I dare you to not stomp and body roll up….DARE YOU.

3) Resentment (Live from Las Vegas Edition) 

DO YOU HEAR HER RAT B*TCH RIHANNA?!?! GO IN BEY! SHE AIN’T EVEN HALF OF ME!!!!!!!!! YASSSSSSSS!

The passion Beyonce performed this with is INCREDIBLE. I don’t know who pissed her off that day but the result is incredible. Also…Why are the Mamas so sickening? I hate and love them.

And a special treat!

Never forget where it all began. Destiny’s Child. I stumbled across this gem and thought i’d share. Please enjoy them stomping the f*ck out of the football field. I miss DC3.

Now go to sleep wig! #PLONK

Tomorrow night = Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion part one.!!!! As I am a life member of Team Nene, I have been preparing myself by reliving some of my favorite Nene Moments….

Moment One…. THIS Phone call… The whole thing can be found on BravoTV.com but this is enough to give you LIFE!

And then Nene kicked Sheree off the show…. “You could use a bl-eaching.”

“Dirt and Grass” ~ Phaedra “I think I tweeted Neverland.” ~Nene Leakes

The older that I get…the more I find myself like Nene. How? Nene has no f*cks to give and no time for BS, BUT she also has a mad shady side and can stir the pot a bit… Now that I think of it, it sounds nothing like me….

beylaugh

Anyway I hope y’all tune in to watch the first part of the Reunion tomorrow. The reunions are the best part of Real Housewives franchise. I promise if you start watching…you won’t stop.

Need a prievew? Here ya go….

Porsha

 

Do. Work. Porsha!

(Violence is never the answer kids…but when somebody pushes you, sometimes you need to let them know what time it is and push back. Life lesson brought to you by Class and Trash.)

Stupid Questions DO Exist.

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Quick Rant.

I HATE STUPID EFFING QUESTIONS!

So i’m in the process of finding a new job because i’m over this life. IF YOU THINK I FOUND ONE, DON’T YOU THINK I WOULD’VE TOLD YOU?! Especially since you think we are “friends”? I hate when people don’t THINK. Ladies and Gentlemen, PLEASE think about what you are saying BEFORE you say it. It saves me time and ranting energy. If not, you look like an IDIOT and I just don’t have the TIME.

Reason number 1000000000000 why I’ve cut some people out of my friend circle….BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO DAMN SENSE. None. So please take you basic ass self with your dumbass ass questions back to basic-ville and leave me alone.

Why does this annoy me? Because you already know i’m stressed enough as it is. Now your dumb idiotic self has to stick you big ugly nose up in my business.

Truth is….i’m tired of certain people up in my life. Just lying and bullshitting pretending to spread positivity when all they do is throw shade and are rude. First of all, we KNOW your whole existence is a lie.

Second.

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So please call me when you decide to be a good human being.

 

Thanks and be blessed.

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::drops mic::

 

Quickie Post: Love Songs

I hope that you all are having a great Wednesday.  This is super fast but I was listening to this song and thought that you all would enjoy it.

I’m not the world’s biggest Anthony Hamilton fan, but this?!

uglycry

 

Just listen and let Anthony take you on a journey.

Lyrics
I had a habit of messing up

Staying out late and getting drunk
I let you down a thousand times
Broken promises
It’s like I ran away from you
My career was my excuse
Until I saw you about to drown in your own tears

And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
Cuz her heart, her heart wont let me lose her
No matter how I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her

When all the folks were said and done
You were there to welcome me home
I was convicted cuz your love never wavered
I know you love me more than me
And you vowed to love through anything
I never had a kind of love that was forever

And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
Cuz her love, her love wont let me lose her
No matter how I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her

Cuz her heart, her heart wont let me lose her
No matter how hard I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her
No matter how hard I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her
No matter how I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her

Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here

Let’s let Deborah Cox preach a word as I write this.

So I have a friend.  We’ve been friends for a long time.  Like since high school long time.  And we’ve gone back and forth for years between friendship, flirting, and almost dating.  The distance has always kept us from crossing that bridge (Texas/NC or NYC/Boston).  A few months ago, he tried the fuck out of me though.  As Class remembers, he rolled up into my text messages on some high horse like I was the reason we were not gay married.

bitchmode

 

Needless to say, I had to tell him about himself.  Nobody here is innocent, but sir your list of transgressions are ONLY acceptable because we were never official.  You better be glad, I’m working on my forgiveness and shit.

After a cooling off period, he apologized for showing his ass and we decided to just be friends.  No romance or any of that.  We were and still are super close.  No need to throw away years of friendship because our supposed romance fell apart.

But of course, I mentioned in this post that my thirst is starting to  get the best of me.

I admit that there’s always those residual feelings there.  I’m not above it.  I can cut people off, but I think the reason that he is still around is because we’ve never been official. It is almost like a part of me just wants to do it so that there can be a clean break.  And of course, my superficiality can’t seem to resist that sweet smile.  Add a couple of cocktails and a group full of couples and I’m sending text messages that should have stayed in my mind.

Doctor-Who-In-The-Rain

 

But what’s done is done.  I know that it’s never going to work out between the two of us.  But damn it, sometimes you just want to flirt and feel wanted.  I’m not above it.  Maybe I’m too old to act this way, but whatever.  I’m so sick of being lonely just like Field Mob.

I end with Jazmine Sullivan who perfectly describes this relationship.

Have you all ever kept talking to someone to boost your ego?  Or do you still have that person in your phone that you’re waiting to date?  Let us know in the comments or over on Twitter (@ClassNTrashShow) so I don’t feel so ridiculous.