Life

Forgiveness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey Night Owls!

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If you can pull yourself away from the seductive gaze of that owl, let’s talk about forgiveness.  Specifically forgiving ourselves.

So in 2014, I committed to self-improvement.  This includes a gym membership, counseling sessions, this blog, and a job hunt.  I’ve managed to make progress in all aspects but, pardon the cliche, sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees.

In the day to day, you meet with tough days (What mean you I don’t get paid until April?), unforeseen circumstances (Oh my car was towed you say?), and gross adult choices. (I guess I don’t need those cookies!)

And you know what, we make mistakes.  We choose cocktail time over networking.  We choose Netflix over the gym.  We choose a nap over checking up on our friends.  These are all menial examples, but the point is that no one is perfect.  We don’t always do the “right” thing.  We don’t always make the “best choices”

Here is an example from my own life.  My father and I don’t have the greatest relationship (being very kind here).  When my parents were together, I always thought he was pretty cool.  He let me stay up late and brought pizza home.  After the divorce, the arrest, the death, and the estrangement, he showed up back in my life after I had built up a strong level of hatred that I was comfortable with.  But I sought some advice and thought, “You know Trash, he may be worthless and unemployed, but maybe you should at least talk to your other parent.”

Worst.  Idea. Ever.

It’s been about 9 years and I’m still trying to find the words to say “I don’t actually want to talk you.”  I’ve become indifferent towards him and there’s little that could change that, but I still have some inner demon urging me to give me another shot.  I try to, it flops, and then I’m like “WHAT THE HELL, TRASH? TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF AND LET’S GO HAVE A COCKTAIL!” 

But that inner demon really is a bitch.  What kind of child doesn’t like his father?  I mean, am I immature for not being able to see past his mistakes?  Am I petty because he sucks and I’m not trying to claim that?  Yes and yes.  But you know what, that’s the way the Do-Si-Do cookie crumbles.

Stop beating yourself up over how you feel!  Don’t punish yourself for deciding to enjoy a bag of Gummy Bears.  Don’t keep yourself up at night because did that thing that we promised to take to our graves.

I think that in the age of tiger moms, crazy high expectations in our careers, desire to look and feel as good as we can, and commitments to family and friends, we tend to have the expectation that we should never make mistakes.  That being perfect is the only acceptable answer.  And I’m here to tell you that perfection won’t help you in your current situation.  Perfection won’t keep you warm at night.  Perfection won’t keep the cops from pulling you over.  Perfection won’t get you into heaven.

Stop letting your own expectations of grandeur prevent you from living a life that will be worth remembering.  Take the time to reflect on your life and don’t dwell on the choices and decisions that didn’t lead to the “perfect” solution.  Very few lives turn out exactly as they were dreamed by 10 year-old you.

And really just unbutton your pants occasionally and breathe.  Every day is not going to be great.  Every choice isn’t going to be correct.

OH GAHT DAMN WELL.

Let’s talk about it in the comments below.  And yes, you can have some fries.

10 Things They Didn’t Tell You About Life After College

Hey y’all!!! Almost Friday…PAYDAY FRIDAY!!!!

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Onto the post!

Remember that time when you waited to the last minute to finish a project in college. You were hyped up on coffee and energy drinks. Your eyes were burning from staring at the computer screen for so long. Blackboard crashed and you couldn’t submit your assignment. You flung your arms up in the air and screamed….”I CAN’T WAIT TO GRADUATE COLLEGE AND NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP ANYMORE! I’M TIRED OF THESE STUPID CLASSES. I’M TIRED OF THESE STUPID PEOPLE.”  Immediately after, your cheap laptop crashed and your life was over.

Listen. Ask any college graduate and they would tell you that they would do ANYTHING to have this life back! So here are just 10 things (I could go on forever but…) they did not tell us about life after college.

1)  8 AM classes too early for you? Oh, Bitch you’re not ready.

I wake up at 5:30 every morning. Every. Damn. Morning. This is accompanied by an hour drive to work. I apologize to every 8am professor that I had because I know I had the worst attitude. If my days could go back to starting at 8am, the world would be a happier place. This professional world does not want you to be great or to sleep.

2)   Afternoon naps are….NOT A THING!

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Life was oh so stressful in college. So much so that you just HAD to run home after your 8am or 10am and grab that nap. WHERE DID NAP TIME GO IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD?! Because I’m employee of the year, (sarcasm) I manage to get my planning done and grab a 30 minute nap but I know for most of y’all naps just don’t happen. Again, add an hour nap to the workday and I PROMISE the morale at jobs would improve.

3)   Food isn’t as easy as a meal plan.

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Bitch bitch bitch. Food costs money and TIME. Remember when you had a busy day and you were just able to swipe and go. Instantaneous food? Now for my health conscious folk out there, y’all will say this a blessing. “There just are no healthy options blah blah blah.” The fact is that yesterday I worked over 12 hours and the THOUGHT of actually having to come home and cook hurt my spirit. It’s also the end of the month so grabbing food isn’t an option cause we bout that budget life here! Needless to say i’m still pressed over my nasty dinner. Can I get a chicken provolone with seasoned fries with a pink lemonade and hint of sprite from grill worx please? Meal plan swipe. I vote the real world needs meal plans/dollars.

4)   Your College Professor >>> Your Boss

College professors can be rude BUT for the most part they support you, love you, and are willing to help. (In Undergrad that is) Your boss is the worst. He or she is your enemy. She doesn’t care about you feelings. They ask dumbass questions and schedule stupid ass meetings that THEY don’t want to attend. 

5)   You mean I can’t….just go back to sleep when i’m “sick”

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There are so many phone calls, emails, and other issues that go into calling out sick that most of the time it’s not worth it. Especially if you bitch ass boss wants a doctors note. FINE! I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP IN. ARE YOU HAPPY?! Sick days in college were life. You just made the decision and sent that “OMGGGGG Dr.So-and-so, I was sooooo sick! I HATE that I missed your class! I’ll make up the work!”  As I typed this, I literally got an email telling the staff the no one else is allowed to call out sick tomorrow…. Eff this.

6)   No Shade to my High School friends but ….college friends become some of your best friends.

I’ve now narrowed my high school friends to 3 that are my ride or die. While I love and respect my other high school friends, my college ones just swooped in and snatched their spots. It makes sense though. You live, work, party, complain, eat, do laundry, drunkenly flop around campus, smile, laugh, cry, hate, and do everything together. Meanwhile your high school friends do the same at their respective school. You just grow up in different directions and it’s OKAY.

7)   Think you can just stay up all night? Meet 9pm. This is your new bedtime.

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I’m pretty much pissed at the world if i’m not in my bed by 9pm. I may not be asleep but I need to be in the freaking BED. These work days are long. They are filled with SO much responsibility and just….work. After the day is over I want food and my bed.

8)   Fridays are for partying? Not anymore.

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Friday night is for movies, pretending to clean, and sleep. That’s just it. I love you friends but after working well over 40 hours. I am le TIRED. Sure I miss my Friday night shimmy and shake but my relationship with my bed is one of the strongest relationships that I have right now and I intend to keep it that way.

9)   Complaining about a $5 party fee? Girl you’re not ready for the REAL price of a club admission.

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I distinctly remember throwing my nose up at the air whenever someone said the party was $5 to get in. After paying and hearing about outrageous admission fees, coat check fees, and drink price, I would do ANYTHING for a college party! Free beer please. I’ve really learned to love and enjoy my personal dance parties at Club Classy (my bedroom/living room/kitchen) *Sidenote: Eff these expensive ass drink prices. Y’all know that this LIT is NOT worth more than $5 damn dollars. Don’t do this.*

10) Grad school is… NOT undergrad.

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I knew I was the shit when I got to tell people I was going to grad school.I made some great friends and got a great education in Grad School but bitch…they don’t care about your feelings. It seems like everyone is old and they don’t match your college friends. Frankly no one is there to make friends and kiki. Finally, you find a two or three people like you and you latch on to them for dear life. The amount of days I spent crying and ready to quit were countless. On top of that…No matter how much they say “fully paid for”, you STILL end up with more debt. Grad school is a flop.

I could go on forever but now I want to hear some of your life lessons post-undergrad! What would you tell a student entering college now that you wish you heard? Leave a comment and share! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @ClassNTrashShow

Love ya for reading!

No New Friends! (But why are some of my old ones raggedy?)

Maya Angelou once said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

I’m sure the first time we heard this saying, we snapped out fingers, screamed YASSSS, and thought that a word was delivered to our hearts.

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Problem is that we all have that one friend that no matter how many times they let you down, we accept them right back in our lives. For example, this is that friend that you’ve planned to go drankin’ and dancin’ on Satruday all week long. You planned that you’re going to get sopapillas at the local Mexican restaurant, the large margarita, continue to turn-up, and go man/woman hunting. So Saturday rolls around and you do your daily routine. Two o’clock hits and you give your friend the “GURL I CAN’T WAIT!!!”  phone call. You get forwarded to voicemail. Whatever, it IS early in the day right? So you continue to do your thing, clean the apartment, and run some errands. Now it is six o’clock and no word from your “friend”. You call again and this time they have turned their phone off. You are left at home feeling defeated.

Now there are some people that we have no problem saying “B*tch get out of my life with yo ashy feet!” But for some reason, there are those friends that we can’t shake. How many missed hangouts are too many? How many blatant lies should we accept? WHY DON’T THEY VALUE MY FRIENDSHIP THE WAY I VALUE THEIRS? It’s weird because I truly feel that the older we get the smaller our circle of friends gets.  Because our circle shrinks, every friendship that we have becomes more meaningful. The value of that friendship goes up. It especially sucks when you watch your friend lie and continually ditch you to go in a direction that is not going to leave you them a prosperous life. (I.E. Are you really ditching me to hang out with someone that can’t keep a job? Someone that won’t take the time out for you but you’re constantly chasing after them?) It’s ESPECIALLY rude that they never make time for you BUT magically remember your phone number when they want to complain about their life.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Readers help!!!! When is enough, enough? How do you get the strength to walk away once and for all? Don’t you HATE feeling like your friendship is being taken for granted?

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If you happen to be one of those bad friends I’m talking about, here is another Maya Angelou quote that you MIGHT want to pay attention too. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Now to my real and true people who KNOW how to be a good friend. We love y’all! Keep up the good work!

Truth is….I’m Tired.

While trash is over there presenting one of his trash Thursday moments (blinks), I thought I’d just let y’all know that…..Bitch I am TIRED. This lackluster life ain’t gon CUT IT. Remember when we were racing to get out of out parents house? Like we just couldn’t wait to be grown?! Mannnnnn I lied I take it back.

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Here are 5 things that I miss about not being a damn adult.

1)   Food. Listen and listen well. Yesterday marked a new day for me as I bought food lion brand tomato sauce. As an avid Prego user, I just KNEWWWWW I would NEVER use anything else but groceries are EXPENSIVE as HELL. I miss the days of coming home from school with a REAL home cooked HOT meal or being able to swipe that meal plan card. Jesus be a food stamp or something because a bitch is tired of have to pay for food. Veggie dinners, taco soup, soup in general, mashed potatoes, or learning how to order take out food with a five dollar budget is not how I plan on eating the rest of my life.

2)   You mean I have to buy my own toiletries? BYE ASHY. Girl to look this cute (pats non existent weave) it costs money. As a kid, toothpaste, razors, deodorant, etc, just magically appeared in the bathroom or if you were out, you just had to ask somebody to grab it for you. Imagine my surprise when I found out that a four pack of razors cost over $20. GOOD BYE. Who has money for that?! Not this trick. Good shampoo and conditioner? Soap? Hand soap? Toilet paper that won’t tear apart you sensitive areas? By the time you get everything you need to smell and look good you’ve dropped way too much damn money.

3)   Not paying for Rent. College is wack for making use believe that this is the way the world worked. You mean you don’t include Rent in my tuition bill? I have to PAY for electricity?  I have to use a laundry facility OR BUY a washer and dryer? I have to furnish this shit myself? WHO IS PAYING?! MAN F*CK THAT. The rent office or landlords have no sympathy if you are a second late. Like can I live damn it?

4)   Not. Paying. Bills. In. General.

  1. Eff you Fed loan
  2. Eff you Sallie Mae
  3. Eff whatever loan service you use
  4. Eff whatever phone service you have
  5. F*ck this car payment
  6. F*ck car insurance
  7. F*ck Internet/Cable (if your luck to afford both)
  8. F*ck the rent check
  9. F*ck the grocery bill
  10. F*ck the end of the month prayer you have to say when you swipe your bank card hoping it goes through.
  11. F*CK PAYING FOR GAS OR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION

Y’all there was a time when we didn’t have to worry about ANY of those things. I miss it. Bills just got paid. It was magical. It was the crap that fairytales were mad of. Now we’re in this endless nightmare.

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5)   The light at the end of the tunnel. This is what I miss most about growing up. You don’t realize it but we were always working toward something. Getting out of high school. Graduating college. Getting a masters degree. Now what? Get married? Well go read that “When single stopped being cute” post. It doesn’t help that I’m a public school teacher so the whole get rich thing is a flop. So what now? What is going to make each day not suck. This is the question that I’m stuck with at my now late twenties (dives off cliff for saying late twenties). It really is a paralyzing question in many ways. Nene said it best. “I just want my happy back.” Out of everything in life I want my sparkle back. I want to be the shit and mean it. I want to be great. I miss the blind optimism of my teens and early twenties.

So here’s to growing up…..

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When Being Single Stopped Being Cute

 1) I never worried about being in a relationship because I love myself. I love “me-time”. I love being able to do whatever I want with no one asking questions. Destiny’s Child taught me that I was independent and I believed them.

2) I grew up in a house where my parents met and fell in love in college.

So naturally I thought this was how love worked! I mean it worked out for Whitley and Dwayne on “A Different World”, right? Imagine my surprise when I left college single. However, I wasn’t pressed because Graduate School was going to be my second shot at love. Right? Wrong. First, let me say that Grad school really doesn’t give a two craps about your feelings. None. Second, it doesn’t help when old married people surround you with kids and they live REAL adult lives. Needless to say my love life flopped in Grad School.

So time to be an adult…a single adult. Personally, I never thought about what dating looked like as an adult. Do people really meet in grocery stores or at the gym? Am I going to win my future lover with my sexy dance body rolls at the club? Will I really be forced to find love online? Well let’s answer these questions.

The grocery store: I don’t know about y’all but I never walk out of the house slaying the game at the grocery store. I’m out there in my finest sweatpants, messed up hair, raggedy shoes on, and to be honest sometimes you just don’t want to shower if you’re only trying to buy some milk, gummy bears, and return to bed. So alas nobody is checking for me at the store.

 The gym? Again, I don’t go to the gym looking cute. I’m trying to keep this figure all the way right. Is it just me or is being sweaty and stinky NOT the formula for true love?

 The Club: So it’s Saturday night. You and your friends decide you’re going to go man hunting at the club. What do you do? Go to the back of the closet and pull out your freakum dress. You look in the mirror and tell yourself “Who is the baddest bitch??? Me.” After you and your friends throw back some liquid courage you find yourself at the club.  So here I am with my friends, single, ready to mingle, and drop it low to the floor. Now I don’t know what the rest of y’all are out here to do. I’ve found there are two types of people.

  1.  Type A) You guys just stand there, throw shade, and look stank. While I’m always here for a shadefest I just wonder……WHY ARE YOU AT THE CLUB? Anyway, these folks are always unbothered and uninterested. (Whatever, their loss. You’re not even all that attractive anyway.)
  2.  Type B) The thirsty people who would date a mongoose if people didn’t think that it was weird. Now listen and listen well. I’m single NOT DESPERATE……DO. NOT. TOUCH. ME. This type B thirsty trick is the one that you are not interested but they think they can be all up in your personal space. Do you not see me serving on the dance floor? Be warned: The type B person can also fool you. They appear to be normal….until they blow up your cell phone 10 minutes later talking about when will they see you next. Bitch, I don’t know. I am too busy dancing to Yonce, no longer interested in your clingy self, and doing my BEST to avoid you.

Suffice to say, the club is not for love. (New hit song?)

Online Dating: They say this is where love is beginning these. I truly have always told myself that I am too young and too cute to be online but times are hard. Let’s all be honest we have all AT LEAST temporarily signed up for an account. Well, I am no different. I made a profile. I was genuine, endearing, put up the cutest pictures, and then I hit submit. After waiting for the next page to load I began to scroll. Now, I’m not trying to insult anyone but it can be ….shocking when some of your “matches” load. I didn’t know that I should be dating people that looked like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. No shade. You know they say that dating someone wrong for you might be a good thing so I click the profiles anyway. Now the do’s and don’ts of creating an online dating profile is a topic for another day. What I WILL say is, take the bathroom selfies somewhere else ESPECIALLY if you haven’t cleaned the damn bathroom mirror. If you have no ambition in life whatsoever, can you hide that? Or find some damn ambition? Needless to say online dating is a flop, for me anyway.

So here I am twenty something and single. It seems like everyone is on their way to engagement, engaged, married, married with kids and a cute house they bought. I’m not really pressed about the kids part. Y’all can keep that! (Hey, I teach your bad behind kids all day. Don’t judge me). I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wasn’t pressed that I’m single. Not just single but single as single as they come.

Who is Class and Trash?

You may be saying….”Another blog?!?!” The answer is Yes. Deal.  HOWEVER, this is the best one on the Internet!

Who are we? Well that’s simple. We are two former college roommates who are just trying to go out…and make it through the day. (If you know where that last part is from, you have found your new home.) That being said we are in our mid-twenties, masters degrees in hand, jobs secured, professional, successful, and single as all can be (call us). We are celebrities in our minds and while we wait for the rest of the world to discover us, we have decided to use 2014 to stage our takeover. Who run the world? We do.

So what is this blog? Not a place for the hard-hitting political issues or motivational stories. We will let CNN or whatever news outlet you prefer handle that. This IS the place for RuPaul’s Drag Race, Music News, Pop Culture in general, and social commentary as we try to live our best lives. What we deliver is fun shade and our special brand of TLC.

That being said, follow us here and on twitter (ClassNTrashShow) and make sure to pay our website a visit. Tell your friends, cousins, colleagues, and your mom and dad! (Okay maybe not mom and dad but you catch the drift, spread the word!) Be sure to comment and give suggestions/questions.

Bloop and Plonk!