Life Lessons

Stay Out Of My BUSINESS

Nosey. Ass. Coworkers…. That’s that ish I DON’T LIKE!

One of the struggles about being young in the work place is that some coworkers look down upon our youth and beauty. They act like we are incapable of doing our jobs. Well, you have it twisted….check my credentials. I went on the same damn interview that you went on.

Here’s my situation:

After two years of teaching high school, I felt it was time to jump off of a sinking ship. Sure I loved the crap out of my students but love was not keeping me sane. Not willing to give up on teaching, I spent the summer searching for a new job. I stressed out all summer and then a music position FINALLY opened up. I’m really good at interviews and landed the job. This is where things got awkward…

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I am a band guy. Frankly strings (especially middle school age) irritate me. Well…..SURPRISE I’m required to teach band and ORCHESTRA! The other surprise? The previous director WAS PULLED FROM HER POSITION and is STILL ON STAFF.

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Let me tell you about this ho. She is the f*g 3000 girl (F*g 3000). She is the one I had to block on Facebook because she tried to rat me out about some bull (that was none of her BUSINESS). She constantly comes knocking on my door, looking around my classroom, asking to borrow my lesson plans, and being down right ANNOYING. This morning she comes to me…”did you skip the clinic last weekend?”

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Bitch, are you having a good day?! Don’t answer because I DON’T CARE! Stop worrying about my life. No, I did not go on Saturday and the other BAND DIRECTORS (which you are no longer one of) knew. I have the email saved as proof you jerk. I am so sick of her meddling in my business. Girl, even if I left next year you STILL WOULDN’T GET YOUR JOB BACK because you are NOT good at what you do. Fall Back. Even when she bought a new car, it became “Now you don’t have the newest car anymore ::giggles aways::” Trick, are you FIVE YEARS OLD?

She has one more time to shade me about my eating habits. “I know you’re watching your figure but…” “No one on staff sees you eat?” “Why do you workout so much.” I just want to say…look at me….now look at yourself. I’ll keep doing what I’m doing while you down 35 sodas in a day, eat all the fried, processed, terrible foods for your body; YET you still complain about turning 40, being single, and having high blood pressure and diabetes. You don’t want to this to me.

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I’m not a damn kid. You do not have to babysit me. Stay out of my office, classroom, and email inbox. No one likes you. You are mean, nosy, and you look like a garden gnome. I have had it with you trying to throw me under the bus. Have you noticed, that your students don’t miss you? I’m not the one you want to play with. Okay?!

Thank you and GOOD. DAY.

Nene Hairflip

Y’all have annoying coworkers or nah? Comment, follow, and all that jazz!

Love ya for reading!!!

10 Things They Didn’t Tell You About Life After College

Hey y’all!!! Almost Friday…PAYDAY FRIDAY!!!!

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Onto the post!

Remember that time when you waited to the last minute to finish a project in college. You were hyped up on coffee and energy drinks. Your eyes were burning from staring at the computer screen for so long. Blackboard crashed and you couldn’t submit your assignment. You flung your arms up in the air and screamed….”I CAN’T WAIT TO GRADUATE COLLEGE AND NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP ANYMORE! I’M TIRED OF THESE STUPID CLASSES. I’M TIRED OF THESE STUPID PEOPLE.”  Immediately after, your cheap laptop crashed and your life was over.

Listen. Ask any college graduate and they would tell you that they would do ANYTHING to have this life back! So here are just 10 things (I could go on forever but…) they did not tell us about life after college.

1)  8 AM classes too early for you? Oh, Bitch you’re not ready.

I wake up at 5:30 every morning. Every. Damn. Morning. This is accompanied by an hour drive to work. I apologize to every 8am professor that I had because I know I had the worst attitude. If my days could go back to starting at 8am, the world would be a happier place. This professional world does not want you to be great or to sleep.

2)   Afternoon naps are….NOT A THING!

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Life was oh so stressful in college. So much so that you just HAD to run home after your 8am or 10am and grab that nap. WHERE DID NAP TIME GO IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD?! Because I’m employee of the year, (sarcasm) I manage to get my planning done and grab a 30 minute nap but I know for most of y’all naps just don’t happen. Again, add an hour nap to the workday and I PROMISE the morale at jobs would improve.

3)   Food isn’t as easy as a meal plan.

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Bitch bitch bitch. Food costs money and TIME. Remember when you had a busy day and you were just able to swipe and go. Instantaneous food? Now for my health conscious folk out there, y’all will say this a blessing. “There just are no healthy options blah blah blah.” The fact is that yesterday I worked over 12 hours and the THOUGHT of actually having to come home and cook hurt my spirit. It’s also the end of the month so grabbing food isn’t an option cause we bout that budget life here! Needless to say i’m still pressed over my nasty dinner. Can I get a chicken provolone with seasoned fries with a pink lemonade and hint of sprite from grill worx please? Meal plan swipe. I vote the real world needs meal plans/dollars.

4)   Your College Professor >>> Your Boss

College professors can be rude BUT for the most part they support you, love you, and are willing to help. (In Undergrad that is) Your boss is the worst. He or she is your enemy. She doesn’t care about you feelings. They ask dumbass questions and schedule stupid ass meetings that THEY don’t want to attend. 

5)   You mean I can’t….just go back to sleep when i’m “sick”

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There are so many phone calls, emails, and other issues that go into calling out sick that most of the time it’s not worth it. Especially if you bitch ass boss wants a doctors note. FINE! I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP IN. ARE YOU HAPPY?! Sick days in college were life. You just made the decision and sent that “OMGGGGG Dr.So-and-so, I was sooooo sick! I HATE that I missed your class! I’ll make up the work!”  As I typed this, I literally got an email telling the staff the no one else is allowed to call out sick tomorrow…. Eff this.

6)   No Shade to my High School friends but ….college friends become some of your best friends.

I’ve now narrowed my high school friends to 3 that are my ride or die. While I love and respect my other high school friends, my college ones just swooped in and snatched their spots. It makes sense though. You live, work, party, complain, eat, do laundry, drunkenly flop around campus, smile, laugh, cry, hate, and do everything together. Meanwhile your high school friends do the same at their respective school. You just grow up in different directions and it’s OKAY.

7)   Think you can just stay up all night? Meet 9pm. This is your new bedtime.

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I’m pretty much pissed at the world if i’m not in my bed by 9pm. I may not be asleep but I need to be in the freaking BED. These work days are long. They are filled with SO much responsibility and just….work. After the day is over I want food and my bed.

8)   Fridays are for partying? Not anymore.

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Friday night is for movies, pretending to clean, and sleep. That’s just it. I love you friends but after working well over 40 hours. I am le TIRED. Sure I miss my Friday night shimmy and shake but my relationship with my bed is one of the strongest relationships that I have right now and I intend to keep it that way.

9)   Complaining about a $5 party fee? Girl you’re not ready for the REAL price of a club admission.

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I distinctly remember throwing my nose up at the air whenever someone said the party was $5 to get in. After paying and hearing about outrageous admission fees, coat check fees, and drink price, I would do ANYTHING for a college party! Free beer please. I’ve really learned to love and enjoy my personal dance parties at Club Classy (my bedroom/living room/kitchen) *Sidenote: Eff these expensive ass drink prices. Y’all know that this LIT is NOT worth more than $5 damn dollars. Don’t do this.*

10) Grad school is… NOT undergrad.

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I knew I was the shit when I got to tell people I was going to grad school.I made some great friends and got a great education in Grad School but bitch…they don’t care about your feelings. It seems like everyone is old and they don’t match your college friends. Frankly no one is there to make friends and kiki. Finally, you find a two or three people like you and you latch on to them for dear life. The amount of days I spent crying and ready to quit were countless. On top of that…No matter how much they say “fully paid for”, you STILL end up with more debt. Grad school is a flop.

I could go on forever but now I want to hear some of your life lessons post-undergrad! What would you tell a student entering college now that you wish you heard? Leave a comment and share! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @ClassNTrashShow

Love ya for reading!

No New Friends! (But why are some of my old ones raggedy?)

Maya Angelou once said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

I’m sure the first time we heard this saying, we snapped out fingers, screamed YASSSS, and thought that a word was delivered to our hearts.

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Problem is that we all have that one friend that no matter how many times they let you down, we accept them right back in our lives. For example, this is that friend that you’ve planned to go drankin’ and dancin’ on Satruday all week long. You planned that you’re going to get sopapillas at the local Mexican restaurant, the large margarita, continue to turn-up, and go man/woman hunting. So Saturday rolls around and you do your daily routine. Two o’clock hits and you give your friend the “GURL I CAN’T WAIT!!!”  phone call. You get forwarded to voicemail. Whatever, it IS early in the day right? So you continue to do your thing, clean the apartment, and run some errands. Now it is six o’clock and no word from your “friend”. You call again and this time they have turned their phone off. You are left at home feeling defeated.

Now there are some people that we have no problem saying “B*tch get out of my life with yo ashy feet!” But for some reason, there are those friends that we can’t shake. How many missed hangouts are too many? How many blatant lies should we accept? WHY DON’T THEY VALUE MY FRIENDSHIP THE WAY I VALUE THEIRS? It’s weird because I truly feel that the older we get the smaller our circle of friends gets.  Because our circle shrinks, every friendship that we have becomes more meaningful. The value of that friendship goes up. It especially sucks when you watch your friend lie and continually ditch you to go in a direction that is not going to leave you them a prosperous life. (I.E. Are you really ditching me to hang out with someone that can’t keep a job? Someone that won’t take the time out for you but you’re constantly chasing after them?) It’s ESPECIALLY rude that they never make time for you BUT magically remember your phone number when they want to complain about their life.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Readers help!!!! When is enough, enough? How do you get the strength to walk away once and for all? Don’t you HATE feeling like your friendship is being taken for granted?

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If you happen to be one of those bad friends I’m talking about, here is another Maya Angelou quote that you MIGHT want to pay attention too. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Now to my real and true people who KNOW how to be a good friend. We love y’all! Keep up the good work!

Quickie Post: Life Lessons

Hey folks! I hope that you all are having a happy Saturday!

This won’t be long but I wanted to talk to you all about a few things I’ve learned thanks to my family that I regret not applying earlier in my life.

1) Don’t be afraid of a hard days work.

My family is straight out of the country of North Carolina. I mean, no phone signal territory. And I remember we would spend summers on the back of the truck, in and out of gardens picking dinner for that night and stocking the freezer.

I was having none of it!

But the truth is that that’s where I get my work ethic from. I am lazy as all get out but when I do my job, I give 100% and I work hard. I do not intend to go back to the fields.

2) Be respectful to everyone. You don’t know when they may come back into your life.

Today, I helped out a charity event with my uncle. Out there were 5 of his classmates from college, each of whom was happy to see him and reminisce about their time in school.

That spoke so highly of who we was (and is) as well as his reputation. Each of his friends were successful in their own right and really encouraged him to reach out for get togethers and these events.

Now, I’m obviously the nicest person on the planet. But back in the day, let’s just say I had a lot to say and no desire to hold it in. And while I’m glad that I made the friends I did, I wish I had thought more about my reputation, especially now as an adult.

3) Money is not everything.

Again, this is crazy coming out of me. But spending time with my family reminds me that there is more to life (where is Stacie Orrico?) than going to work everyday.

And even though my family is not rich by any means, I’ve never wanted for anything. We’ve always shared some good times even when there is drama and there is a love that you can’t really shake.

That is something money can’t buy

So what’s on your mind? Any important lessons from your family?
Let us know and have a great evening!

Life Lessons from The Civil Rights Movement

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

Both Class and I have severe reverence for Dr. King, the work he did, and people he inspired and continues to inspire.  He remains one of the faces that you associate with fighting for and driving the change that all of us, not just African Americans to live a life with less limits than his time.

However, I don’t want to be the one to just post a video of the “I Have A Dream” speech and spam you with quotes.  I want to talk about a current lesson that I think we can apply from our ancestors and freedom fighters.

Recently, I’ve been dealing with some personal issues that sap my energy and motivation.  While I’m working to push past these feelings, I can’t pretend that there are not days where I just want to lay in bed and eat all of the Gummy Bears.

But in all fairness, what am I really dealing with on a day-to-day basis?  I don’t want to go in to work.  I don’t have exactly what I want to make for dinner.  My laundry is restricting my sleep because I refuse to fold it.

MLK and the other freedom fighters couldn’t go to the same grocery stores and lunch counters, and I’m complaining that we don’t have sea salt.

They sat at the back on the bus, meanwhile I’m pressed that the lady next to me on the train has a large coffee when I only ordered a small.

Children were sprayed with fire hoses and I’m mad at my subpar OKCupid matches.

While my annoyances are minute in the examples above, even the real problems that I deal with should not be compared to what my grandparents fought in the rural North Carolina.  I have two degrees from predominantly white institutions where my grandmother went to the “Negro” high school.  My aunt was the first African-American employee at the gas station on the white side of town, meanwhile my stomach is in knots over competitive jobs at Fortune 500 companies.

It’s not my (and by proxy, our generations’) problems are trivial.  It’s that the problems we face now were obtained and are caused by the solutions from the prior generations mettle, families, and blood.  These people risked their lives, their homes, and their jobs by refusing to settle and play nice.  They worked through the night around the country for basic human rights.  Their hard work was rewarded, even though times are still troubling and the fight isn’t over.

So I’m choosing today to look past my own personal selfishness.  I’m choosing to work through my sleep deprivation.  I may have to work on what I consider to be one of the most important holidays, but I’m choosing to be thankful for this employment and the opportunity to use my mind for work instead of my body.  All of our ancestors did not have that luxury and they did way more than what I’m expected to do.

What lessons do you pull from the legacy of the Civil Rights Movements?  Did you do anything special to celebrate?  Show us love in the poll below and let us know in the comments section or @ClassNTrashShow on Twitter.

“I don’t keep up with Joneses, I am the Joneses.” – Nene Leakes

Linnethea Monique Leakes (Nene Leakes) is a real housewife of Atlanta and one of my Queens. Now before you roll your eyes and stop reading give this a chance! Nene has a humble beginning: small town girl, stripped to pay the bills (bandz made her dance! Ayeeeee!), married rich, became a real housewife, became an actual actress outside of reality TV, saved her marriage, and managed to not make a name for herself merely by hopping on different trashy reality shows and fighting with people. Now yes, she can be loud but she keeps it real.  She described herself perfect; “Let me get you to understand I don’t bully anybody. I stand up for what I believe in and I’m very honest and I always tell the truth. I’m not a liar, I’m not manipulative and I don’t stab you in your back because I will stab you in your chest.”

So here are 5 life lessons that Nene has taught us.

1)   “Close ya legs to married men!” But really. It’s 2014. These trollops have GOT to stop sleeping around with married men, women, or both(didn’t want to leave anyone out). Just don’t do it. While I’m parked right here, all those cheaters in general, go somewhere else with that. Until you do right, your life will never be right. OKAY?! (snaps fingers in Z formation)

2)   “You touch me girl, I will wear that wig off your head. A straight hooker. Andy, I’m gonna respect you and let you do this interview next to this trashbox. Trashy hooker. Go on.” – Listen, sometimes you need to check someone and let him or her know what time it is. I try to remain calm, cool, and collected at all times. The problem is that it tricks people into thinking you are weak and they can walk all over you. No ma’am, not today or EVER! God gave of mouths, voices, words, and opinions. USE THEM (Wisely. You probably don’t want to pop off at the president of your company or Oprah). Don’t let anyone steal your shine.

3)   “I’m just not into trying to convince people to like me. I always say to myself, ‘It is what it is.’ I walk into a situation knowing that people are either going to love me or they’re going to love me or they’re not, and that’s OK. I’m just going to be me. You can’t be everything to everyone.”  Y’all I just ran around my room in praise in worship. Not everyone is going to like you in life. Point. Blank. Period. Don’t stress over it and REALLY take the time to appreciate those people that love you for YOU! Can I get an amen from the choir? It’s one of those lessons that people learn in their own time, but once you learn it your REAL friendships become stronger.

 4)   “I think that everyone is saying all kinds of things about ’rich.’ Not only am I rich from doing some of the things I’ve been able to do, but I’m rich in spirit. I’m rich in health. I’m rich in every possible way.”  I’m just as guilty as everyone in believing that while money can’t buy happiness, it surely can buy you a crap ton of things (or at least pay off my car and student loans). If someone put a million dollars in your bank account today, TRY and tell me that after you body rolled, whipped your hair, and popped your booty, you wouldn’t be ten times happier! That being said, while we all wait for this money to magically appear, we do need to begin shifting our focus to the richness in life that we have. Yes, it is hard to believe that we are rich in life every time an agent from our student loan providers calls wanting more money that we CLEARLY don’t have, BUT at least we are alive to receive that phone call, right?!

 5)   “I am here now because I am supposed to be here. And I guess when it is my time to cross over there, I will be over there. I am not religious, but I am spiritual, honey. My day is coming!” Be Patient. Be Daring. Be Bold. Be Great. Know that nothing in life lasts forever, so if you’re going through something, it has to end. What we can’t do is kick are feet back, eat Ben and Jerrys Milk and Cookies Ice Cream (GET INTO THIS FLAVOR THO! Thank us later), and expect life to change in the way we want it. Hard work is always rewarded at SOME point in life. If you’re really feeling down and out ask yourself, what would Beyonce do? Oh you know, Perform at the Presidents inauguration, Perform at the Superbowl, wake innocent people up early in the morning for a PEPSI COMMERCIAL (still pressed about it), go on a sold out world tour, be a wife, raise a child, OH and record a flawless album with accompanying videos (Girl WHAT and HOW?). Stan moment over but really….go and be GREAT y’all!

Who do you find inspiration in, be it your parent or a reality show star? Comment here OR tweet us @ClassNTrashShow. I’ll leave you with one of Nene’s finest moments. Need a lesson on how to set someone straight? Watch below and be sure to watch Real Housewives of Atlanta every Sunday. Now twirl on THAT! BLOOP!