la chat

Trashy Thursday: Some Classic Hoodrat Tunes

It’s tiem to get back into Trashy Thursday!  It’s been far too long since we’ve taken a deep dive in to some music for the basics of the world.  Let’s get started!  As per usual, this one is Not Safe For Work so watch and listen accordingly.

1) N*ggaz Ain’t Shit – Mercedes

Monkey on the dick, monkey on the dick!

Listen, as the queen of No Limit for about 2 weeks, Mercedes went on to release bomb ass song after bomb ass song.  I live for her.  This song is so relentlessly catchy, fun to sing along to, and ridiculously vulgar.  I LOVE IT.

If you’ve been paying any attention to me, I love female rap that essentially brags about how bomb she is.  As a huge proponent of faux confidence, these songs speak to me on a fundamental level.  This song is all about how wack these raggedy men are in comparison to her.  And you can’t take her beat or her bang.

“Not your average bitch,
My shit’s on balance.
Pretty face, nice ass and talent!
Never miss a challenge.”

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2) Slob On My Cat Pt. 2 – La Chat

“Get ya knees dirty boy, Eat a bish cat or somethin!”

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La Chat is a goddess.  We last checked in with her in the Chickenhead video, which we all know is a classic.  But here she has the starring role and you simply can not take.  This is a play on “Slob on My Knob” which is another iconic bop.

“Bet he went home and kissed his bish on the mouth. EWW!”

She collaborated most with Three 6 Mafia & Project Pat, but there’s something great about a lady-rapper who is just aggressive.  She’s not trying to be soft despite the vulgar nature of the song.  She’s demanding sex.  And while true equality between the sexes is not just turnabout, it’s refreshing to hear a woman just make a song that says “I want sex.  Why am I not being pleasured yet?”

3) That’s My Juvie – Magnolia Shorty

“DEM HOES BET NOT FUCK WIT MY JU-VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

Now I don’t know how many of you are familiar with New Orleans Bounce Music, but what’s important is that you essentially don’t stop moving your ass when you hear it.  It’s perfect.  You might be more familiar with Homegurl which samples it.  I like both, but the original will always have a special place in my heart.

It’s dumb and repetitive.  And it’s perfect.

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4) One Night Stand – L’il Jon & The Eastside Boys f. Oobie

“I’m seeing me on top of you, doing things that lovers do.  But I don’t belong to you, what’s a girl supposed to do?”

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned Oobie on the blog.  I did!  This song was a trashy hoodrat anthem before “thot” ever became hot.  As I mentioned, Oobie can’t even really sing.  But her sweet, thin voice singing these trashy lyrics serve as a perfect counterpoint to L’il Jon’s uhhh…”rapping.”

But while this song encourages cheating as way to “respect” their relationships, but you know no one is looking.  It’s only for this ONE NIGHT y’all.  We won’t do it again.

The message of this song is so trashy but I fucking love this song.  It’s so dumb.

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“If you know how to keep a secret, you can get it FOR SURE. 
Just make sure you get enough, cuz you can’t get it NO MORE”

5) Phatty – CCB

“Now your girlfriend’s mad cuz I got what she never had!” 

So we’ve gone to New Orleans and now it’s up to DC where gogo reigns supreme.  Now my undergrad institution seemingly recruited 90% of its African-American population from this area which meant that every party gave us a gogo moment where we all beat our feet and broke a sweat.

It’s also repetitive and doesn’t require much of a singing voice, but it’s just so much fun.  Like you may be annoyed at first, but if you have any slice of rhythm, you’re going to find yourself booty popping by the second chorus.  I’ll have to do a post featuring some of my favorite go-go memories from my time in college. Best believe that this will show up.

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So what are your thoughts?  Did I miss some of your favorites?  My playlist is always open.  Have a great day, y’all!


 

This has nothing to do with anything but never forget.

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The Greatest Rap Battle of All Time. OF ALL TIME!

::cues Girlfight by Brooke Valentine::

We bout to write a poooooooooost!

We bouts to hear some traaaaaaaaash!

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Hello my lovelies.  After a crazy few days, Team Trash is back and fix your life like Iyanla, chicken noodle soup, and good sex.

Today, we’re here to discuss the most important rap verse on the planet.  No, not you Biggie.  Sorry Grandmaster Flash.  Hey Run DMC, no this isn’t about you either.

We’re talking about the second verse in “Chickenhead” by Project Pat.  With a guest appearance from thug queen, La Chat, the verse is a tit for tat argument between two club patrons.  Let’s discuss.

1

“Yeah, you like my outfit. Don’t even fake the deal. I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill.”

Right off the bat, we can see how jazzy and fancy La Chat is.  Her drawstring ponytail blowing in the breeze.  Her bedazzled jean jacket is obviously stunting on you other, more basic ladies.

And it’s clear that while she was spending her coins at the swap meet, Project Pat was supposed to be covering pesky things like electricity!

2

“Always in my face, talkin’ this and that. Girl, I had to buy some rims for the Cadillac.”

But why should La Chat be the only one making the bitter Betty’s of the world jealous?  Project Pat needed those chrome-like rims for the Cadillac?  Pat needs you hoes to pay attention when a pimp rides up on spinners.

And he is sick of y’all trying to come for him when he has done and said nothing to you!

3

“You riding clean but your gas tank is on E. Be stepping out, ain’t got no decent shoes on your feet.”

La Chat clocks his Cadillac, having been in it obviously.  Pat is really just hood rich (Trademark: Big Tymers) and that car is on its last leg!  And if that wasn’t enough, Pat is wearing those Lugz pretending that they are Timberland Boots!

WE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

4

“That’s just the meter broke, You on know what you talkin bout. Anyway, them new Jordans fin to come out!”

With La Chat taking the upper hand, Pat is forced to admit his Pumas aren’t really what’s hot in the street.  But it doesn’t matter because all the money that he’s saving by not fixing the broken meter in the Cadillac is going towards some shoes next week.  So there!

5

“Hate to see you in the club, you mobbin’ wit a mug. Knowing that you ridin’ wit ya boy, you nothing but a scrub.”

La Chat tries to strike the death blow here.  She don’t want no scrub and Project Pat fits the profile.  That busted up Cadillac isn’t even his!  You better get a Razor Scooter with that Jordan money!

6

“But he was with me.  That’s when you hated. Cuz when I got up on ya friend, you damn near fainted.”

But Pat sees an opportunity.  Trick, you know that’s his car!  You was in it last week.  But that’s in the past because he was talking to La Chat’s girl, LaCreamy!  She’s a woman with taste.  And that Cadi must have done you right, because you seem to be mad!

7

“I sholl did, in her face drinkin on that ‘Gnac. Mouth full of gold, but yo ass need some Tic Tics.”

La Chat is appalled!  Not only is her ponytail more glamorous and sexy than LaCreamy’s but you don’t hit on my friend a week after some of her Cadillac lovin’!  And anyways, LaCreamy said your breath stinks.  Take that Jordan money and invest in Mentos.  The Freshmaker.

8

“WHAT! You need some gum. Breath like some thundah!  What you lookin’ at, I don’t want ya phone numbah!”

Project Pat finally loses it.  You can come for his footwear and automobile, he stays with minty fresh breath.  GET INTO MY BINACA!  And it’s obvious what the problem it.  La Chat is sprung and craving for another taste of that “good good”.

But she can’t have any!

Let’s take a smoke break.  That was all so amazing.

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But for real, if Chickenhead was made today, it would probably be that thot nonsense and be mixed using an iPad mini.  What was so great about this era of rap was that even in a song built around two people going at it while sipping on Alize, there was work put into the production.  The looped strings are everything.  The fact that it cuts out at certain point so you can focus on the lyrical content is subtle but it works.  It’s just a fun, trashy song that only would have worked at that time.

So are you a chickenhead?  Who won the rap battle?  What trashy rap songs do you love unabashedly? Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.

Shout out to romvn.tumblr.com for the amazing Chickenhead .gifs.  All of the rest are from Tumblr but unfortunately, I do not recall the original poster.