And it’s time, it’s time, it’s time to pay tribute to my patron saint, my guiding light, my spirit animal!
Tiffany “Miss New York” Pollard
Let’s go back. All the way to the year 2006. Flavor Flav aka Foofy Foofy had just had his heart broken by Brigitte Nielsen. So he turned to the only thing that could heal his pain. Reality TV! I’ll save the rest of my summary of the first episode. But it introduced us to my queen and my diva, MISS NEW YORK.
Listen. This woman is life-changing. She’s so iconic. She is why reality television was invented.
Look at her. Look at that heavy eye makeup. That flower. She’s amazing.
If you recall, New York won a roller skating date with The Foofster. (“He’s a man, not a Foofy!”) Her titties swinging low like so many chariots.
During the first episode after Goldie’s upchuck adventures, New York comes in to greet the ladies having breakfast.
“Good Morning! Good Morning. Good Morning. (To Rain) Not you, you can choke!”
New York on New York.
Who doesn’t tell themselves that every morning? It’s a mantra for all of us.
But then, STRIFE! Hottie tried it.
And now legendary quote number 11?
Excuse the video quality, but I didn’t want to give too much away from the recap.
“You fucking look like Luther Vandross!!!” Listen if you didn’t love her by this point, you were watching the entire show incorrectly.
More adventures in New York vs. Hottie:
New York’s first time uttering her signature line. Like she was eating her steak. And loving it!
More knifery:
This was near the end of Season 1 when New York shares a group date with Goldie. Prior to this meal, we got this brilliant line:
“Goldie is a CUTE girl. But cute next to gorgeous? Gorgeous devours cute.”
But then Goldie came in playing to win and snatched that night cap! Oops.
But New York continued in the competition! And boy, the final 3 episode. Jesus!
New York: “Slap me, you bi***”
Pumkin: ::gross spit::
New York: YOU MOTHER F*CKING WHORE!!!! ::pushes Pumkin::
“YOU’RE GOING TO SPIT IN MY FAAAAACE. BECAUSE I’M STAYING IN THE HOUSE AND YOU’RE NOOOOOOOT!”
So we know that she lost. ::ugly cry:: But then the finale.
Look at this introduction. LOOK AT THAT COUNTDOWN!
She did ALL of these things. Was she super dramatic? Could it have been acting?
Now, some highlights from Season Two.
Like Brigitte in Season 1, New York was brought back with a lower quality weave and inflated sense of superiority.
Oops, sorry about that Buckwild!
Welp! She’s not wrong.
But I have to stop. This honestly could go on for years and I have to go be productive.
Also, share some of your absolute favorite New York moments. I’m still working on my Flavor of Love recap which is why I didn’t go in to excruciating detail. But you just know that she’s iconic and she is who inspires me.
“You know what? I just fucked up your date!”
Byeeeeee!
(All gifs courtesy of Rich Juzwiak & RealityTVGifs.)
