hilarious

Quickie Post: Saaphyri vs. H-Town

So this was on my mind this morning:

Saaphyri is amazing. My personal favorite part of this is when Saaphyri yells “GET OFF OF ME!”  while clinging to H-Town’s hair.

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Also: You better quit interruptin’ my prayers before God directs me to whoop your ass.

 

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Quickie Post: Monday Blues

I’m not going to keep you long, but I’m definitely not feeling today at all.  So in order to cheer myself up, I’m posting this hilarious “spoof” video made by Hottie of Flavor of Love.  Yes, the one who put the chicken in the microwave.  I love her.

Enjoy this and hopefully the rest of the week will look up!

Bye!

You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride

Hey people!

We’re back!  Both Class and I decided to take the long weekend and just relax a bit.  That doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about you.  As a brief update, I went out a bit this weekend, had a cookout at my new place, and ate all my lost weight in food.

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But let’s get back into the dating scene.  I’m currently on the hunt for a boo-thing to spend time with.  I’m not even ashamed to admit that.  I was inspired to sit down and really come up with a list of qualities that I’m looking for.  I thought that I’d share them with you as a means of thinking my way through this process.  So let’s break this down:

Required

1) Nice Teeth

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So seriously, you have to have your teeth in check.  A nice smile is so warm and inviting.  It just makes me want to talk to you and work hard to make someone smile.  Also, the attention to detail paid to teeth is a sign that you pay attention to the things that matter.  At least to me.

2) Positive Attitude

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So, I love sarcasm. I love being lazy.  But the truth of the matter is that whenever I do find someone, I really want someone who is willing to help me be better.  Like tell me to go to the gym or go work out with me.  Someone to tell me to study and get up from watching my 20th episode of Fairly Oddparents in a row.  It’s not that I won’t do it by myself, but it’s always nice to feel like you have someone’s support.  Especially as I continue to try and improve myself.

3) Rhythm

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I don’t think it’s a secret that I love to dance like Nathaniel. And I need my boo to keep up.  I also love a random dance party which involves me putting on a playlist and getting Janet Jackson around my house.  I need you to join me without even blinking.

4) Intelligence

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I’m not saying that you have to be a rocket scientist, but I do want to discuss real issues occasionally.  I want to feel like I can learn something from you and that you can do the same.  Silliness is way more fun when you know there’s some brain power behind it.

5) Sense of Humor

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I need to laugh, boo!  I want to go joke for joke.  I want to be in stitches when you tell me stories.  Please don’t take yourself so seriously.

This is a non-negotiable.  But honestly, if you can’t laugh together what kind of relationship do you have?

Would Likes

1) My Height or Taller

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I’m not a tall man.  I’m average height.  What’s wrong with being close to my height?  This used to be a hard and fast rule for me, but I’m working on being less superficial and therefore, have softened my stance.  It’s still a preference though.

2) Facial Hair

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Tee Hee, his name is Ambrose Burnside.  Who doesn’t love historical humor??

But seriously, I like a little bit of hair on a dude.  It’s not necessary, but it seriously improves some people’s looks.

3) Independent

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Let me be clear.  This is still a requirement, but I’ve moved it down to this section because I’ve loosened a bit on what independent means.  Independent means self-sufficient with a plan for the future.  I want you to have a car and a home, but I understand staying with a relative to save up money for a specific reason.  I understand cost cutting, especially while working on second degrees.

Essentially, I want an adult who is making reasonable adult decisions in order to live a better life.  I don’t have time to be childish.

So I think that this is my list.  I’m sure there are other traits that will come to light later.  What about you all?  What are the non-negotiables for you? What can you live without even if you prefer it.

Trashy Thursday: A Tribute to Turquoise Jeep

So my earlier post was a little angry.  Let’s lighten the mood with some cartoon rappers!

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Yaaaaass bitch Yaaaaass! ::Soulja Boy voice::

So according to Wikipedia, Turquoise Jeep is a real independent label founded by Flynt Flossy (Charlie Murphy lookalike) and Whatchyamacallit (the one with the majestic beard in the back row).  I’m going to be honest, I’ve been riding with the Jeep for years thanks to my cousin, but had no idea whether it was a parody or real life.  They also have a song with Childish Gambino! #famous All I know is that they jam and and I live for it.

So let’s go member by member and talk about my favorite of their anthems.

Yung Humma – Lemme Smang It

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This is the usually how people get their first introduction into the flawless music of the Jeep.  Yung Humma is a rapper with a signature hum (obviously) and is widely known for his luxurious locks.

Just the lyrics, the dance moves, the bored look of the lead light skinned girl.  It’s all so perfect.  Don’t even try to pretend that you didn’t bop and do the dance with him.

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Flynt Flossy’s verse is also amazing.  Like actually hilarious.  And his dance moves!!

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Get into it!

Flynt Flossy – Ooh Aah Sound

Let’s slow it down and get romanticals with Flynt. It was a close race between this and Naughty Farmer but I stan down for Pretty Raheem so here we are!

Get into his green screen. Get into the high art painting of Flynt.  I actually can’t!

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(Source: http://whatculture.com/)

Just yes.  So much yes.

Pretty Raheem – Can He Move It Like This

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yas

Listen.  I could write a whole post on this glory alone.  I love this song so so so so much.  From the technicolor suits

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to the Kid & Play tribute

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and the dudes face when Pretty Raheem disappears

 

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It’s all so so so so good.

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To be serious though, this is a song that actually could have gotten radio play in the 90’s.  Pretty Raheem has a “good” voice and Flynt Flossy is at his most marketable here.  Just body roll and get into it!

Slick Mahony – Sex Syrup

Now while I stan down for Pretty Raheem, my favorite member of the group is Slick Mahoney.  Like he legit makes me so happy.  Wait, here’s some gifs…

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Flawless man is flawless.

I think it’s because the rest of the group has redeemable qualities.  Pretty Raheem is not a bad singer, Humma and Flynt pull out some clever rhymes here.  Slick Mahony is the epitome of delightful.  He’s not the best singer, he’s no the best dancer and he’s dressed like an 80’s lounge lizard.  I am obsessed with him.

Sex Syrup has long been a favorite of mine.  We know that Turquoise Jeep loves breakfast food and sex and this is just another fantastic jam.  We also get another feature from Yung Humma and his remy! When the girl dances on the stack of pancakes, I lose it every time.

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Like that is the most delightful thing ever.  EVER!

 Whatchyamacallit – Licky Sticky

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So Whatchyamacallit is the Lyfe Jennings/Nate Dogg of the group doing a lot of hook singing.  But he got his shine on Licky Sticky and we got this body rolling anthem!

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I’m not convinced that he and Flynt Flossy aren’t brothers.  Or at least cousins.  And this is another song where there isn’t as much humor.  Like imagine yourself in a dark cluh.  You grainin on dat wood with your boo thing for the night.  If this came on, don’t act like you wouldn’t be feeling some type of way!!!

Go head boo!

Whatchya – Taste You Like Yogurt

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Y’all.  I just discovered this today.  Y’all.  They are amazing.

So to show that Turquoise Jeep is nothing but on top of the trends, here’s something for your EDM fans!

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Like y’all.  I don’t even have any commentary.  You just have to watch.  The German…and the effects… My mind is blown.  I’m unable.

I have nothing.  What’s your favorite Turquoise Jeep jams??  Did I miss your favorites??  Share with us!

Quickie Post: Good Evening

Do you all have one particular video that makes you giggle senselessly every single time you watch it?

I have several, but today I wanted to show some love to Krissychula (@thekrissychula on Twitter) who makes hilarious videos about her daily life and pop culture.  She is amazing and super clever.  Now, prepare to be seduced.

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(Souce: FourFour)

I just love that.  When she smirks and says “And aren’t you just a salty motherfucker?” I lose it every. single. time.

Go on over to her page on YouTube and subscribe so you don’t miss out on her updates.  Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you to watch the following:

Lana Del Rey’s Face

Dear Miley…

Say No To Lacefronts

What are some of your favorite YouTube gems?  Link us in the comments or share via Twitter @ClassNTrashShow.

Good Evening.