Grammy’s

Four Days of Black History Plus Some Quick Grammy Thoughts

Let’s start with what you all came for, Black History!

February 6th – Toni Morrison

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Toni Morrison is an American novelist, editor, and professor. Her novels are known for their epic themes, vivid dialogue, and richly detailed characters. Among her best known novels are The Bluest Eye, Sula, Song of Solomon and Beloved. She was also commissioned to write the libretto for a new opera, Margaret Garner, first performed in 2005. She won the Pulitzer Prize and the American Book Award in 1988 for Beloved and the Nobel Prize in 1993. On May 29, 2012, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

February 7th – Lonnie Johnson

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Lonnie George Johnson is an American inventor and engineer who holds more than 80 patents. Johnson is most known for inventing the Super Soaker water gun, which has ranked among the world’s top 20 best-selling toys every year since its release.

February 8th – Diahann Carroll

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Diahann Carroll is an American television and stage actress and singer. She has had a long, successful career that has spanned nearly six decades. After appearing in some of the earliest major studio films to feature black casts such as Carmen Jones (1954) and Porgy and Bess (1959) and on Broadway, she starred in Julia (1968), one of the first series on American television to star a black woman in a non-stereotypical role. Later she played the role of Dominique Deveraux on the popular prime time soap opera, Dynasty. She is the recipient of numerous stage and screen awards and nominations.

February 9th – Matthew Henson

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Matthew Alexander Henson was the first African-American Arctic explorer, an associate of Robert Peary on seven voyages over a period of nearly 23 years. They made six voyages and spent a total of 18 years in expeditions. Henson served as a navigator and craftsman, traded with Inuit and learned their language, and was known as Peary’s “first man” for these arduous travels.

During their 1909 expedition to Greenland, Henson accompanied Peary in the small party, including four Inuit men, that has been recognized as the first to reach the Geographic North Pole (although this has also been subject to dispute). Henson was invited in 1937 as a member of The Explorers Club due to his achievement and was the first African American to be accepted. In 1948 he was made an honorary member, a distinction for 20 persons annually.


 

Man that was a lot of history.  And frankly, that’s the best part of this post because the Grammys were dull.

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I had every intention of doing a full recap, but there was nothing there.  The performances ranged from delightful (Lady Gaga/Tony Bennett) to cringeworthy (Kanye/Madonna).  No one performed anything up-tempo and with the show that long, you needed someone to up the energy.  It was mostly draining.  Even artists that are typically entertaining and fun were listless.

Honestly, I just wanted it to be over so I could watch Bob’s Burgers.  What were your thoughts?

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Beyonce CONTINUES to be better at life…

So…The Grammy’s happened. I won’t lie, on first view I thought the Bey performance was cute but not LIFE.

Now that I am on my tenth view, I just need us to APPRECIATE how she slayed. First off, if you are calling a her a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut’ literally go find a room full of HONGRY (yes with an O) lions and just sit there and let nature do its thing because you are rude and a hater. Lets not forget that she is a grown MARRIED woman. Now no shade to other artists, BUT Rihanna get up on stage, pats her p*ssy and gets praise. Britney gets up there body all out for the world to see and is the princess of pop. Madonna shows her wrinkly boob and is the queen of pop.

Sometimes it be like….

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1) From the moment she started she had our attention. I don’t think we were ready…..

Flashing Lights…Flashing Liiiiights…

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2) Yes, we get it, she wasn’t singing in the beginning. WHATEVER. Ain’t nobody cared because she served us with this moment.

That wet hair flip. Those eyes. My God

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3)Body.

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4) She stood up.

Ladies and Gentlemen. THIS is proper twerking etiquette. PLEASE take notes. There will be a test this weekend. Her body is so SICKENING. NO ONE can deliver this. NO. ONE. All you basic twerkers, HAVE A SEAT!

DAT BOOTY THO!!!!!!

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5) And then Beyonce brought her HUSBAND Jay-Z out and made him feel awkward….. Can you blame him tho? You literally have the HOTTEST female on the planet grinding up on your body. I’m telling you right now I would have been dead on the floor. Knocked out. Somebody call 9-11. I FULLY understand why Jay just bopped like an awkward middle schooler. Image

6) Surfboardt.

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7) Finally Bey caressed Jay and let him know that this was just the beginning of the night. He clearly was getting the Partition performance later that evening…..

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And then this happened….

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If for some DUMB reason you missed it, here is the FULL performance. PLEASE get into 4:30 to watch Sir Paul McCartney give you his surfboardt bop in the bottom left corner.

Should Beyonce have performed another song? Probably. Is she pressed about her performance? Yeah. Did she STILL snatch your edges? OBVIOUSLY! How does she continue to do this you might be wondering. What people need to realize is that Beyonce’s B- performance is your favs A+. Beyonce on a bad day can STILL outperform….everyone. However, next time we need the dancers, Les Twins, the all-female band, and of the THE MAMAS. We just needed some sickening harmonies, a tenor sax solo, and Ashley serving behind Bey. So no this won’t be in her iconic performance reel but still Queen of the World Bey snatched. Call her a whore to my face and see what happens tho….Fair warning.

As for the rest of the Grammy’s. GIRL BYE.

Congrats Katy Perry for the iconic step, bop, and snap.  I will say this one time only….I TRULY missed Rihanna. Why you ask? The show just missed her basic choreography and all of the wrong notes. Most of the show was just boring and flat. Metallica needs to find Jesus. Also Adele, we know you’re happy and crap but you BETTER be in SOMEONES studio.

That is all I have to say about the Grammy’s.

Happy Tuesday y’all! Stay warm and dry over the next few days east coast!

Beyonce at the Grammys

Listen. It’s Grammy Sunday, a fight is happening on Real Hoodrats uhhhh Houewives of Atlanta, I have to lesson plan, clean my apartment, AND do laundry. Clearly i’m just now starting the day, so I’m keeping it simple and cute today.

Whenever there is an award show, Oscar’s included, I only ask ONE question. “Is Beyonce going to be there? If she’s not I most likely will not tune in. In honor of tonight and the QUEEN PERFORMING (YAS GOD) … I present her Grammy performances.

BOW DOWN BITCHESSSSSS!

1) Beyonce and Queen Tina Turner. Listen. LISTEN. Look at God.

2) Dangerously in Love….When she catches that bird …. I knew it was love.

3) If I were a Boy…. She literally OPENED by stomping on your snap-and-go wig…. You just had to deal with it.

4) One time she performed Listen…and we did. SHE’S MORE THAN WHAT-UHHHHH…. YOU MADE OF HERRR!

5) WHO RUN THIS MOTHA?! (Shut up, I know it was her AMA performance BUT WHEN WILL YOUR FAV?!?!?!?!?!?!??!) 

Y’all ready for the Grammy’s?! Next year she BETTER win 55 Grammys for this album. Best Folk Album? Beyonce. Best Rock Song? Yoncé. Taylor Swift is just going to have to sit back and deal. #SorryNotSorry

It’s Britney B*tch!

I love Ms. Britney Jean Spears. I really do. However, someone out there in the internet had the nerve to ask, “Why does Britney Spears always get snubbed at the Grammy’s?” Excuse me?! Britney is the princess of pop but she has fallen off of the throne. You can’t be mad at her either. All she wants to do is have a family, raise her kids, drink a frap, and eat Cheetos. CAN SHE LIVE??! Yet y’all keep demanding more from her and she drags her lazy butt out on the stage only for people to be disappointed in her performance. The Grammy’s haven’t snubbed her, they just recognize that she lacks depth. I understand that at one point she served us aggressive hair flips and fierce choreography….

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But recently…. not so much….

 1)   We all understand that Britney does not sing live a lot of the time. (Trying to be nice here.) Why? Because this is what it sounds like live….

Girl what are those notes? What are those runs?! Is anything about this Grammy worthy?! GURL BYE! PLEASE keep it real and don’t lie on this girl and say those were flawless vocals. Can you imagine at this years Grammy Britney following a P!nk or Adele performance? That would be downright RUDE!

 

2) I can already hear the Brit stans saying, “Well Britney is a dancer. It has always been about performance not about her voice.” That’s good and all but we can’t forget this gem….. 

When Rihanna is laughing…you REALLY have a problem.

 

3) Okay FINE that was a low blow. She was going through some things I get it. She was really slaying the dance scene during the femme fatale era correct? WRONG.COM She was just as lazy and uninspired as ever. 

::lazily pops chests, jumps in air, flips blonde extensions::

I just don’t have the TIME. Whitney Houston….Celine Dion….Mariah Carey… THOSE women win Grammys….Britney Girl, you can win all the VMAs you want. 

4) Maybe the Grammy’s are a bit upset that XFactor allowed her to judge SINGERS…. Out of all the people you could pick to judge SINGING, she might be the least qualified. Who are they going to ask next? Cassie? Ciara? Mickey Mouse? You failed Simon Cowell. 

5) This Gif sums up how many bothers she has left to give…

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I will give credit where credit is due. The new Vegas show looks really cute! I’m not flying out to Vegas to see it because frankly I can listen to the Cd’s and give fierce choreography in my apartment; BUT it does look like she is bending her knees more and flipping her hair with some passion. That should be applauded y’all! (No shade….okay a bit of shade.)

Moral of the story is: Entertaining? YES! Grammy award winner? No to the ma’am. Case closed. Bloopity bloop and plonk. 

Am I the only one who thinks that if she wants a Grammy, she better work b*tch? What are your thoughts? Does Britney still have “it”? Go ahead and follow @ClassNTrashShow on twitter or just follow this blog and let us know in the comments! (Go do it now…RIGHT NOW!)