Gay

The Return of Class!

Class is…

B –  to the mother effing -A-C-KKKKKKKKKKKK!!! Alrooooiiiiiight!!!!

tumblr_lz9b4hDTMa1qazciho1_250

::snaps fingers in Z formation::

Shout out to that trashy hooker Trash for holding down the fort but it is time for me to return! Life got really REAL the past two months. I swear I’ve been sick for weeks straight. The weather still remains to suck and then be fabulous and then suck the next day. I’ve actually been TRYING to be shit at work, applying for new jobs, rehearsing for a musical, performing in a musical, and manage to squeeze a workout in! WHO RUN DIS MOTHA?! Not me.

Despite my efforts to be GREAT I remain: broke, unfulfilled in my job, wanting to move someplace new and start over but not wanting to give up the comfort I have now, single, not in the sickening shape I want to be, single as hell, not Beyonce, not on Broadway or on a reality show, without a yacht, no penthouse in my name, oh and did I mention single as F*CK?

1

So the single thing has really been on my nerves. It has been a GOOD moment since I’ve had anyone worth a damn in my life. It really got to me when my rotten toothed, bitchass, rude, and just terrible coworker found her a boo-thang. If that over-sized Gollum looking creature can find someone…then it really must be me y’all.

I’m not going to do this today…. Let me calm myself….

As I approach 27……

glorage

( moving on)…..I just feel that I should feel more like an adult and have an adult life and adult things. But alas, I’m still stuck in broke (really broke) college kid mode with a job that ACTUALLY requires me to put in effort. (Damn I miss those college jobs where you were paid to show up and be the funny black person in the office.) So what will it take for me to achieve greatness? A trust fund would be a great start. Or a rich baby daddy…

twerk

But until that happens….I guess I’ll continue to be mediocre? Blah. So this is where you give me tips on how to be great! Ready?! GO!!!!

 

 

 

“You’re single because you’re rude!”

Heyyyy bitchessss!!!!!

giphy

Y’all know those weeks where you actually have to work? Yeah that was this week. Between teaching and rehearsals I haven’t had a moment to get my life together and my apartment is the living proof of that (hot tranny MESS). Now it’s Friday and I got my victory cocktail in hand….Let’s do this blog thing!

Soooo recently I asked a friend to assess why I was single. To sum it up, I was told that I’m shady and rude to new people when I don’t like them.

ByeAshy

The specific situation went down like this: We were at a bar when these two tricks motioned for us to come over. So we went and sat down. After engaging in a short conversation, I quickly realized “nah girl, this is not for me.” So I Did what Nene Leakes would do and promptly got up and walked away leaving my friend to say “he’s just shy”. Was this right? Yes and no.

No. Because I could have at least ended the conversation politely but… Sometimes my sass gets the better hand of me…When my inner Sasha Fierce takes over, there is no hope.

Yes because….Y’all I just know what I want from a potential mate. I really do. (Trash, I think it’s time we make a list of what things our potential mate ABSOLUTELY needs to have. Like amazing teeth and no student loans or an up to date student loan account). As I approach 27 (DEAR GOD) this year, I feel that I need not settle for the first thing that comes my way. When I see something I don’t like, why am I going to waste my time with it? If someone presented you with a nasty plate of food that you KNOW you don’t like, are you going to eat it?! The answer is no! If you said yes, come over and I’m cooking you the nastiest dish I can create in my kitchen. Complete with the all the stuff that finds it way to the back of the refrigerator and freezer.

People say all the time “date someone you wouldn’t normally be attracted too.” This is cool and all and I agree to an extend; BUT if we walk into the situation and I already have doubts, I PROMISE it won’t work out. For example, I WILL not sit and pretend that I am okay talking to someone that looks and smells like they just crawled out of a sewer. While that person may be WONDERFUL, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care for themselves. Or if you are 35 and you are just working at the window at McDonalds. Now. A job is a job and if I lost mine today, I’d have no shame in taking your order. That will not, however, diminish my ambition to be great. So I can’t POSSIBLY date someone with no ambition or plan to be the best version of themselves.

Am I demanding too much or what? Any relationship guru’s out there COMMENT and help a BROTHA OUT?! She by Sheree doesn’t keep me warm at night! (If you get the reference…Send a message 😉 ) But really is it time for me to lower my standards or keep searching? Let Class know! Tweet us y’all! Comment! Let’s find love in hopeless places together y’all!!!

tumblr_lttqmlUMNN1qafhoco1_500

“F*g 3000″/ Share Saturdays!!!

::closes office door::

co-worker – “I have a REALLY important question for you”

me – “Yeah?”

co-worker – “Like it doesn’t matter to me but….my fag 3000 went off and I need to know….Are you GAY?!”

::Pause for a commercial break::

Image

Y’all this conversation happened to me within the first week of working.  The quotes are real. The situation is real. What this post is about is just to say……My sexuality is just that. MINES (yes with and S). Now listen, and listen good. Unless you are trying to lay down in my bed (please send me an email….currently accepting applications…HAYYYYYY!) then you need to get up out of my sexuality. Bloopity f*ckin bloop. ALSO dear sweet co-worker….say f*g in presence again. WHO DOES THAT?! Like do you go up to black people and say “Oh my GAWD my n-word 5000 went off and just HAVE to know…what part of Africa are you from?!

Image

I literally don’t know why people expect gay people to come out in  glittery thongs, a wig, skip around, and wave a rainbow flag. That ain’t EVER gonna be me. Not sorry about it. I WILL however ALWAYS be a Beyonce stan, Nene lover, America’s Next Top Model (early seasons) fan, well dressed, smellin right, and Rupaul Drag Race Watcher (Hey Phi Phi and Latrice! Y’all Slay!). It is so frustrating because people expect this “coming out ceremony”. Like we owe them something. Well if I’m going to have a coming out CEREMONY… I expect an envelope with coins and dollars in it, OKAY?! (And don’t step to me with an envelope filled with anything LESS than $50 OKAY?!)

giphy

At this twenty whatever years young age I am (stay mad), I am three bajillion percent comfortable with who I am. Is it a journey? Sure. Am I perfect? Hell No. Is it any of your DAMN BUSINESS?! NOPE! So when it comes to sexuality you do you and I’ll do me. Okay? Okay.

To any young people or people dealing with the same thing…tell those people to get up out of your face.

tumblr_lje4ozHfvl1qivfp2o1_500

But really… people can stay mad. Do you in your own time. To the people trying to force information out of their “friends” STOP. just STOP IT. Let people LIVE! No matter how many time you ask, we are NOT going to tell you until we are good and damn ready.

anigif_enhanced-buzz-9036-1355427531-15

(Had to get that off of my chest)

In other news…have you told someone about this blog?! Click share! Click Reblog! Share on Twitter (follow us @ClassNTrashShow)!!!! Share on Facebook! We’re glad we have readers! Hey y’all but we want more! So spread the word, K?! I really want to get our youtube/podcast series going so you can hear just how TRASHY trash is…. Just the the trashiest. Anywho share share share!

::clears throat:: (sung to the tune of riding dirty) We see ya viewingggggg….you’re scrollinggggggg…Readin’ our posts but you nottttt even sharin our bloggggg …. You betta click dat share button, you betta click dat share button, betta click that share button…….

anigif_enhanced-buzz-13464-1355427259-1

(Nene make everything better)