Friendship

Maybe I Don’t Want To Be Your DAMN Friend

You know what pisses my off? Those text messages of “Why don’t we hang out anymore.” “You’re so mean to me.” “You don’t want to be my friend.”

Girl shut UP.

Porsha

First of fucking all, the past few months have ROUGH for me personally. I’m exhausted physically and mentally and frankly. When the weekend hits I like to clean my apartment, drink some wine, and de-stress. Why? BECAUSE BITCH I’M GROWN! Oh and because it is the ONLY time that I get before another horrid week starts. Moral of the story: I don’t have the time to spend MY TIME around people I don’t genuinely give two shits about.

Second of all, thanks for worrying about my well damn being. You are so into yourself that you are only worried about……YOURSELF. So why am I going to waste my precious time listening to you talk about your stupid problems and talk about how great you are when I can be filling out job applications, working out, or napping. Hell I’d rather watch my pinky toenail grow before I step foot in your presence.

Dear bad friends of the world, LEARN TO BE A BETTER FRIEND. If you notice someone you consider to be a “good friend” suddenly change behavior, take the two seconds it take to be concerned for them before you jump to “wah wah wah you don’t like me anymore.”

boo

OKAY?! OKAY.

What is the lesson today class? STOP SUCKING AT BEING A FRIEND. TAKE STEPS IN LEARNING HOW TO NOT BE A SELF-CENTERED PRICK.

hallelu

Woo. Had to get that one out. I’ll try to be better at the Class side of this blog but a bitch is tired.

Happy Friday.

TURN UP.

Or nap…both are great options.

Guest Post: Random Musings

Welcome back our diva, Sass!  Here to hit you with another guest post.  Let’s get into it!

In a month that has seen so much good for other people (Trash’s new job, Class’ upcoming play, Kim & Kanye getting the Vogue cover, Chris Brown goes to jail…wait, what?), it’s been a pretty bad one for me.

Full disclosure: I work a job I hate. Like, hate. HATE. HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

glorage

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful that I have a job, because Sallie Mae doesn’t care either way; those payments are still due. As are rent, utilities, car insurance, and other bills. All due, and they don’t care about anything besides a receiving payment on the correct date. So I’m glad that I can make those payments and be an upstanding member of society, but I wish I was able to do that with a job that didn’t make me physically sick each day. I often come home nauseous with headaches, sleepless nights dreading the next day, etc. It’s a mess.

Over the past nine months or so, I’ve been applying for other jobs to no avail. I end up getting interviews that go nowhere. So what made this month particularly vomit-inducing? Over the past two weeks, I’ve received roughly 15, “Thanks, but no thanks” emails and phone calls in response to my interviews and resume submissions. That much rejection isn’t good for a person! It messes with your mind…just ask Kenya Moore!

The rejection, coupled with the overall disgusting-ness of my job, have put quite a damper on my mood this month. I also don’t have a lot of friends where I live, so I’ve lacked an outlet to blow off steam. It’s a little much right now, and I have to admit that I’m not myself. The feelings of defeat and failure almost choke me every day, leading me to wallow in a pit of despair. Again, I’m not normally like this. I’m the happy, bubbly girl, always up for a good laugh, who is always there to cheer up her friends. Meanwhile, many of my friends don’t care to, or don’t know how to, cheer me up. I haven’t shared my issues with a lot of people, because, like I said, I’m always the happy one. People act like they don’t know how to receive my pain, which causes them to almost dismiss my feelings. And that makes me angry. Very angry.

Here’s the thing: to have a friend, you need to be a friend. If you can come to me, crying about everything from a hang nail to death, then I would like the same. As I’m sitting around crying about feeling defeated, don’t tell me that it’s just because Aunt Flow is approaching and I’ll be fine when my hormones pass. If Aunt Flow was on the way, I would have beat the shit out of someone for saying that, and then peed on them , to literally add insult to injury. Wow, that was aggressive…someone get that girl some medication!

What makes it even worse (in my book anyway), is that it was a woman who said this to me. To belittle a woman’s feelings based on the fact that they’re hormonal is what sexist assholes do to women all the time. I’m not a huge feminist, but I don’t appreciate being belittled or insulted because my genitals resemble a taco more than they do the 14″ long, thick and perfectly shaped Italian sausage that I’m pretty sure I would have if I were a boy

*cue Beyonce. Always cue Beyonce.*

All in all, I’m just writing this just to point out that no matter the reason, gender, race, scale, or nature of your feelings, fears, dreams, aspirations, or doubts they are VALID. They matter. You are entitled to them and they are yours. Never let anyone project to you that anything that you feel is less than important. Don’t drown in your sadness, but don’t let anyone tell you that the reason for your sadness is wrong. Expressing your emotions is always better than internalizing them, so phone a friend. A good one. An understanding one. One that has no problem letting you cry on their left, while pouring shots with their right.

Wait, what?

No New Friends! (But why are some of my old ones raggedy?)

Maya Angelou once said, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

I’m sure the first time we heard this saying, we snapped out fingers, screamed YASSSS, and thought that a word was delivered to our hearts.

yas

Problem is that we all have that one friend that no matter how many times they let you down, we accept them right back in our lives. For example, this is that friend that you’ve planned to go drankin’ and dancin’ on Satruday all week long. You planned that you’re going to get sopapillas at the local Mexican restaurant, the large margarita, continue to turn-up, and go man/woman hunting. So Saturday rolls around and you do your daily routine. Two o’clock hits and you give your friend the “GURL I CAN’T WAIT!!!”  phone call. You get forwarded to voicemail. Whatever, it IS early in the day right? So you continue to do your thing, clean the apartment, and run some errands. Now it is six o’clock and no word from your “friend”. You call again and this time they have turned their phone off. You are left at home feeling defeated.

Now there are some people that we have no problem saying “B*tch get out of my life with yo ashy feet!” But for some reason, there are those friends that we can’t shake. How many missed hangouts are too many? How many blatant lies should we accept? WHY DON’T THEY VALUE MY FRIENDSHIP THE WAY I VALUE THEIRS? It’s weird because I truly feel that the older we get the smaller our circle of friends gets.  Because our circle shrinks, every friendship that we have becomes more meaningful. The value of that friendship goes up. It especially sucks when you watch your friend lie and continually ditch you to go in a direction that is not going to leave you them a prosperous life. (I.E. Are you really ditching me to hang out with someone that can’t keep a job? Someone that won’t take the time out for you but you’re constantly chasing after them?) It’s ESPECIALLY rude that they never make time for you BUT magically remember your phone number when they want to complain about their life.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Readers help!!!! When is enough, enough? How do you get the strength to walk away once and for all? Don’t you HATE feeling like your friendship is being taken for granted?

ByeAshy

If you happen to be one of those bad friends I’m talking about, here is another Maya Angelou quote that you MIGHT want to pay attention too. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Now to my real and true people who KNOW how to be a good friend. We love y’all! Keep up the good work!

Quit lookin backwards! LOOK FORWARD!

Here is a little morning encouragement while we all get our day started!

::excuse me::

yas

::still not done::

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Okay.

We LOVE Real Talk Kim here sooooo much!!!!  Literally, love her. All of her messages are so inspiring and encouraging! While we here at ClassAndTrash enjoy all of the bad pop culture and deliver reads on some of not so favorable moments in life; sometime we have to give praise and be reminded that are tests in life are just apart of our testimony.

That being said PLEASE visit her website (realtalkkim.com). Follow her on twitter (@RealTalkKim). That twitter follow is KEY because she STAYS giving your timeline strong and important messages throughout the day. RealTalkKim has been a true blessing in what has been a long and stressful week.

Happy Saturday y’all!

You don’t need other people to validate you

I had to share this. I HAD TO. I just…..

yas

After watching this I about ran around my apartment in praise.

One of my Facebook friends shared this video and I am SO GLAD that I saw it. I’ve been going through some things and I needed to hear this TODAY. This is @RealTalkKim. After finding her on Twitter, I clicked follow so fast. I hope you do the same thing. Just take a listen and remember to protect your anointing TODAY!