flawless

Never Forget: The Olsen Twins Teach Us To Dance

So this past weekend was the family reunion which was great fun.  In addition, I got to see Dash and Overactive Blogger which is always a delight!  While at the seductive pool hall, OB reminded me of what is one of the greatest discoveries of all time.  Take it away, Mary Kate and Ashley!

Western line dancing, vogue, AND HIP HOP FREESTYLE?!?!

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I can’t wait!  Let’s start…

“Let’s get totally retro!” (00:54)

Bodyroll, bodyroll, bodyroll, bodyroll.
Step touch, step touch, step touch, step touch…
Bend, arms, bend arms, bend, arms, bend, arms
twirl, snap, twirl, snap!

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Listen.   I just wasn’t ready.  I didn’t know they were going to keep it so sensual.

Next the ladies show us how to Charleston.  (01:45)

Meh…it’s no retro.  But I live for the green-screened effects.

One of them tells us we’re going to like this one big time as it’s our first solo! (2:22)

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Get in to her flawless footwork and hip movement! Karina Smirnoff could never!  So polished and professional!

We’re intro-ed into our sock hop dance with the greeting “Major Fun!” (03:00)

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No thanks Ashley Kate.

“This one is hard!  Don’t stress!” for our 60’s dance lesson (03:37)

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You can’t take this twist and shout!  Nor that take it to the floor girls.  Your fave can’t even compete.

SCORE! (04:02)

Ummmm…Mary Ashley?  That’s the electric slide.  Now, far be it from me to question our two intrepid dancing divas.  But really??  Those little turns aren’t going to distract me.

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Try a little harder next time my dear.

Line dancing is totally the coolest, Mary!  (05:08)

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Nothing to see here.  I do enjoy that she used the whole dancing space.

Holy shit, one of them is about to Vogue.  (05:52)

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Get into the fierce hand movement.  The seductive steps.  The side to side with the Walk-Like-An-Egyptian arms.

This is what I am talking about.  COME ON SEASON SIX!

And now for our grand finale, it’s time for iconic hip hop freestyle!!!!! (07:07)

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.

Gravevine left, arms up.
Grapevine right, arms down.

A wonderful callback to the bend and snap from the opening number.

 YASSSSS FANCY FOOTWORK!!!!!

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Don’t be jealous of their boogie!!!! Though I see why you would be.

And turn, LEG!

I don’t think anything will ever top that.

What was your favorite routine??  How inspired are you to be a dancer now??

A Tribute: Shake Ya Body

It’s come to my attention that some of you have not paid tribute to the one of the greatest music videos and songs of all time.  Well, we here at Class & Trash will not stand for any slander nor any shade for the iconic and legendary Shake Ya Body by Tyra Banks.  Let’s talk about it.

We start the video with Tyra and Jay Manuel freaking out in the dressing room.  Her long curly blond wig shaking.  We catch April, Yoanna, and Sara strutting on the runway before Tyra RIPS OFF HER WIG in frustration to reveal bright red cornrows.  The drama.  The acting.  You can’t take it.

We get to the pre-chorus is a bop.

Let me see you! Take it slow.
Move your body! Let me know.
Let me see you! Lose control.
Leave it up to me to take control of ya!

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So let me see what you’re working with! Yeah.
I need to see if you move like this. Yeah.
And if you can’t keep up with me, I’ll.  Yeah.
Cuz when it comes to this, I don’t! Play-ahh!

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Yes!  All types of yes.  At this point, you should be bopping your shoulders and flipping your imaginary wig.  The chorus is catchy and you’re dancing in your chair.

The moans with the “Come on, baby!” snatch.

We then get to the second verse & chorus where we get to see Tyra serve you choreography.  Model sexy choreography.  And pop and pop, arm and arm.  Booty shiggle!  We also know that these sensual moves were courtesy of Tony from the episode who gave us the best dance-off ever.

And then Tyra’s iconic microphone lick!  Yes. Yes. Yes.

So then we move to the bridge, which it seriously amazing.  The beat cools down and Tyra’s doing her ad-lib thang over the lyrics wearing a bikini that’s basically a cargo net.  She’s wet and grinding up on the man-candy in the video.

Let me say this
Your body’s callin’ me
I can hear it speak (WOO!)
So let me please you
Just grab my hips real tight
And enjoy the ride
It’s up to you
To make me feel the heat
And let me know if you can keep up with me

The woo is perfect.  PERFECT I TELL YOU!

And then the beat drops and we get the “SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT! OOHOHOHHHHH…” which is flawless.

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At this point, you’ve lost yourself to the song.  You’re popping and twerking and getting right!

But then! Camille, Mercedes, and Shandi close us out with the fabulous choreo by dropping it to the floor and serving you hoes.

And just in case you forgot the greatness that is Yoanna filming her dance sequence.

Yes!  The arms.  The shimmy.  The splat!

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I also didn’t want you to forget Camille’s “talk to the hand” choreography.

I can not let you leave with Mercedes’ forgetting the choreography.

And lastly, April’s herky jerky dancing greatness with Janice’s comments.

Listen, this song is life changing.  The episode is brilliant.  The video is fabulous.

Don’t you ever come for it again!  Share your favorite Shake Ya Body memory or get blocked.

Quickie Post: Got2BReal

Trash is still not really feeling it.

Please enjoy Queen Patti LaHelle and her masterpiece.

Bye y’all!

Quickie Post: Love Songs

I hope that you all are having a great Wednesday.  This is super fast but I was listening to this song and thought that you all would enjoy it.

I’m not the world’s biggest Anthony Hamilton fan, but this?!

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Just listen and let Anthony take you on a journey.

Lyrics
I had a habit of messing up

Staying out late and getting drunk
I let you down a thousand times
Broken promises
It’s like I ran away from you
My career was my excuse
Until I saw you about to drown in your own tears

And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
Cuz her heart, her heart wont let me lose her
No matter how I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her

When all the folks were said and done
You were there to welcome me home
I was convicted cuz your love never wavered
I know you love me more than me
And you vowed to love through anything
I never had a kind of love that was forever

And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
Cuz her love, her love wont let me lose her
No matter how I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her

Cuz her heart, her heart wont let me lose her
No matter how hard I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her
No matter how hard I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her
No matter how I try
I just cant say goodbye and lose her

A Tribute: #LoveJo

As you all know, we here at Class & Trash love us some Joanna Levesque, better known as Jojo as evidenced here.

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Yesterday, this queen released an EP via Soundcloud and we HAVE to talk about it.  Class’s comments are in Ole Miss red while Trash’s comments are Duke blue.

Caught Up In The Rapture

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Listen, if there was ever a girl who should cover Anita Baker, it was Jojo with her sickening alto, clear and accurate runs, and ability to convey emotion with her voice.

When the gorgeous opening stops and “INTERNZ, IT’S THE REMIX!”

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Her ability to jump fifths and octaves mid-run is unparalleled.  Come on QUEEN!

The vocal dexterity from 4:13 to 4:33 is just all I could have asked for.

I guess Trash was trying to give y’all a music theory lesson lol…Anyways her voice is like the FINEST piece of Red Velvet cake here. It’s just oozes with sensuality….And the beat drops…and there is no looking back. Flawless. FLAWLESS. FLAWLESS. It just does not get any better musically. Young singers, this is how you riff without over doing. Sickening. 

Take Me Home

Jojo doing Phil Collins?? WHAT? And adding a hoodrat bop to the back?

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And she killed it!

Her ad libs into and during the last chorus.  Full vocal bliss.  Her voice is just so seductive and adds a sensual quality to a beautiful, but admittedly cold original song. 

But this was just a glimpse of the head voice goodness she was about to give us.

Phil Collins. Jojo stole your song and made it 1,000,000 times better. Sorry no sorry. That’s all I have to say about that. I’m going to continue to do a body roll up against my wall. 

Glory

The first note…

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The second Glory????

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Listen here, Jojo, you didn’t have to do this to us!  We praise her for her lower register, but this! You can’t tell her she isn’t a soprano here.

THESE RUNS….MY GOODNESS!

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The richness of her voice, her ability to jump between octaves, the minor 3rds.  YOU SICKENING WENCH, I CAN’T STAND YOU!!!!

The note at 1:20!!!!  MY JESUS!

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I’m not even writing sentences anymore. There’s nothing that I can say that could even compare to the flawlessness that is Glory. 

I….. don’t…. have words…..Whitney Houston is up in Heaven wavering her hand at this recording because it is THAT PERFECT. 

Overall

This is absolutely her best work and if this is what she has in store for her album, you hoes better beware.  Jojo is back and ready to snatch all of the wigs!  EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

December 13th Beyonce took all of my hair, edges included. I finally saw new growth on February 13th….On the 14th Jojo took the new growth and took some of my scalp. Jojo is NOT playing. She has not been able to release music in YEARS and she is letting us know to not even bother releasing music in 2014. Nope. Don’t do it. If you haven’t listened to this work….do it now or don’t talk to us.