Hey people! I’m so excited about the premiere of So You Think You Can Dance tonight! It’s going to be fun!
I thought that we’d celebrate with ten of my favorite routines from the show! This isn’t my definitive list, which I think Class and I will have to put together sometime this season. It’s killing me to leave some routines off, but these were the first 10 11 that came to mind, so that has to mean something right?
But here we go.
Lacey & Danny Samba – Dmitry Chaplin
I had to make sure this was on here. I love this dance. Beyond measure.
We’re back! Both Class and I decided to take the long weekend and just relax a bit. That doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about you. As a brief update, I went out a bit this weekend, had a cookout at my new place, and ate all my lost weight in food.
But let’s get back into the dating scene. I’m currently on the hunt for a boo-thing to spend time with. I’m not even ashamed to admit that. I was inspired to sit down and really come up with a list of qualities that I’m looking for. I thought that I’d share them with you as a means of thinking my way through this process. So let’s break this down:
Required
1) Nice Teeth
So seriously, you have to have your teeth in check. A nice smile is so warm and inviting. It just makes me want to talk to you and work hard to make someone smile. Also, the attention to detail paid to teeth is a sign that you pay attention to the things that matter. At least to me.
2) Positive Attitude
So, I love sarcasm. I love being lazy. But the truth of the matter is that whenever I do find someone, I really want someone who is willing to help me be better. Like tell me to go to the gym or go work out with me. Someone to tell me to study and get up from watching my 20th episode of Fairly Oddparents in a row. It’s not that I won’t do it by myself, but it’s always nice to feel like you have someone’s support. Especially as I continue to try and improve myself.
3) Rhythm
I don’t think it’s a secret that I love to dance like Nathaniel. And I need my boo to keep up. I also love a random dance party which involves me putting on a playlist and getting Janet Jackson around my house. I need you to join me without even blinking.
4) Intelligence
I’m not saying that you have to be a rocket scientist, but I do want to discuss real issues occasionally. I want to feel like I can learn something from you and that you can do the same. Silliness is way more fun when you know there’s some brain power behind it.
5) Sense of Humor
I need to laugh, boo! I want to go joke for joke. I want to be in stitches when you tell me stories. Please don’t take yourself so seriously.
This is a non-negotiable. But honestly, if you can’t laugh together what kind of relationship do you have?
Would Likes
1) My Height or Taller
I’m not a tall man. I’m average height. What’s wrong with being close to my height? This used to be a hard and fast rule for me, but I’m working on being less superficial and therefore, have softened my stance. It’s still a preference though.
2) Facial Hair
Tee Hee, his name is Ambrose Burnside. Who doesn’t love historical humor??
But seriously, I like a little bit of hair on a dude. It’s not necessary, but it seriously improves some people’s looks.
3) Independent
Let me be clear. This is still a requirement, but I’ve moved it down to this section because I’ve loosened a bit on what independent means. Independent means self-sufficient with a plan for the future. I want you to have a car and a home, but I understand staying with a relative to save up money for a specific reason. I understand cost cutting, especially while working on second degrees.
Essentially, I want an adult who is making reasonable adult decisions in order to live a better life. I don’t have time to be childish.
So I think that this is my list. I’m sure there are other traits that will come to light later. What about you all? What are the non-negotiables for you? What can you live without even if you prefer it.
So my earlier post was a little angry. Let’s lighten the mood with some cartoon rappers!
Yaaaaass bitch Yaaaaass! ::Soulja Boy voice::
So according to Wikipedia, Turquoise Jeep is a real independent label founded by Flynt Flossy (Charlie Murphy lookalike) and Whatchyamacallit (the one with the majestic beard in the back row). I’m going to be honest, I’ve been riding with the Jeep for years thanks to my cousin, but had no idea whether it was a parody or real life. They also have a song with Childish Gambino! #famous All I know is that they jam and and I live for it.
So let’s go member by member and talk about my favorite of their anthems.
Yung Humma– Lemme Smang It
This is the usually how people get their first introduction into the flawless music of the Jeep. Yung Humma is a rapper with a signature hum (obviously) and is widely known for his luxurious locks.
Just the lyrics, the dance moves, the bored look of the lead light skinned girl. It’s all so perfect. Don’t even try to pretend that you didn’t bop and do the dance with him.
Flynt Flossy’s verse is also amazing. Like actually hilarious. And his dance moves!!
Get into it!
Flynt Flossy – Ooh Aah Sound
Let’s slow it down and get romanticals with Flynt. It was a close race between this and Naughty Farmer but I stan down for Pretty Raheem so here we are!
Get into his green screen. Get into the high art painting of Flynt. I actually can’t!
Listen. I could write a whole post on this glory alone. I love this song so so so so much. From the technicolor suits
to the Kid & Play tribute
and the dudes face when Pretty Raheem disappears
It’s all so so so so good.
To be serious though, this is a song that actually could have gotten radio play in the 90’s. Pretty Raheem has a “good” voice and Flynt Flossy is at his most marketable here. Just body roll and get into it!
Slick Mahony – Sex Syrup
Now while I stan down for Pretty Raheem, my favorite member of the group is Slick Mahoney. Like he legit makes me so happy. Wait, here’s some gifs…
Flawless man is flawless.
I think it’s because the rest of the group has redeemable qualities. Pretty Raheem is not a bad singer, Humma and Flynt pull out some clever rhymes here. Slick Mahony is the epitome of delightful. He’s not the best singer, he’s no the best dancer and he’s dressed like an 80’s lounge lizard. I am obsessed with him.
Sex Syrup has long been a favorite of mine. We know that Turquoise Jeep loves breakfast food and sex and this is just another fantastic jam. We also get another feature from Yung Humma and his remy! When the girl dances on the stack of pancakes, I lose it every time.
Like that is the most delightful thing ever. EVER!
Whatchyamacallit – Licky Sticky
So Whatchyamacallit is the Lyfe Jennings/Nate Dogg of the group doing a lot of hook singing. But he got his shine on Licky Sticky and we got this body rolling anthem!
I’m not convinced that he and Flynt Flossy aren’t brothers. Or at least cousins. And this is another song where there isn’t as much humor. Like imagine yourself in a dark cluh. You grainin on dat wood with your boo thing for the night. If this came on, don’t act like you wouldn’t be feeling some type of way!!!
Go head boo!
Whatchya – Taste You Like Yogurt
Y’all. I just discovered this today. Y’all. They are amazing.
So to show that Turquoise Jeep is nothing but on top of the trends, here’s something for your EDM fans!
Like y’all. I don’t even have any commentary. You just have to watch. The German…and the effects… My mind is blown. I’m unable.
I have nothing. What’s your favorite Turquoise Jeep jams?? Did I miss your favorites?? Share with us!
It’s time to announce a new series here on your favorite site. So because we’re committed to increasing the quality of your iPods, we’ve decided to share a few of our favorite jams for a particular artist each week.
Because Class picked the artist for this first week, it’s time to talk about Beyoncé.
Trash
1) Yoncé/Partition
Despite my next two choices, I love Beyoncé most when she embraces her hood side. This song in particular changed my entire view on Beyoncé, moving me from casual fan to staunch defender/junior associate Beyhive member. The rap >>>>>>
2) Smash Into You
My absolute favorite of Beyoncé’s love songs. She delivers vocally and it’s simply a beautiful song.
3) Love On Top
5 KEY CHANGES. FIVE! Love the throwback to the Motown era, love her vocal layering. Did I mention the five key changes??
Class
If you don’t know…I am a PROUD BeyHive Member. 1- 9….EIGHT. ONE!
Beyonce’s catalogue is LITERALLY flawless. Her missteps are still better than mosts (yup B’Day may not have been my favorite but if you don’t think that stops me from listening, you’re WRONG.) What makes Bey better is that her live performance are FAR better than her recorded works. This is a HUGE statement considering her albums are perfect. Picking my three favorite songs might be one of the hardest challenges for me. So i’m only considering live performances. Wish me luck.
1) 1+1 (Dressing Room Edition)
My. God. A keyboard. Beyonce’s Golden Vocals. Harmonies by the Mamas. ANY QUESTIONS?!
2) End Of Time (Revel Edition)
The. End. Of. Time. STOMP! The sickening pink pumps. I am unable.
This song instantly stood out to me on her classic 4 album. It is a perfect dancing song, running song, cooking song, cleaning song, do better in life song, etc. It is perfection and Beyonce ALWAYS gives it her 300%. I dare you to not stomp and body roll up….DARE YOU.
3) Resentment (Live from Las Vegas Edition)
DO YOU HEAR HER RAT B*TCH RIHANNA?!?! GO IN BEY! SHE AIN’T EVEN HALF OF ME!!!!!!!!! YASSSSSSSS!
The passion Beyonce performed this with is INCREDIBLE. I don’t know who pissed her off that day but the result is incredible. Also…Why are the Mamas so sickening? I hate and love them.
And a special treat!
Never forget where it all began. Destiny’s Child. I stumbled across this gem and thought i’d share. Please enjoy them stomping the f*ck out of the football field. I miss DC3.
Girl WHAT?! I know i’m late and Trash did a post BUT….
I was sitting here bored as crap. Ashanti came up on one of my playlists which caused me to see what she was doing with her life…
WELL.
Ma’am. WHAT IS THIS?! I get that we live in a Beyonce and Lady Gaga world and you feel the need to put on a production. But girl you coulda kept this performance back in 1999 where it belongs. I really tried to like it because the beat is cute…but she up there lookin like someones drunk auntie at the famiy reunion. Also….RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU KNEW SHE RELEASED AN ALBUM THIS YEAR! HUH?! Not everyone can pull off a surprise album release. Wait. It wasn’t a surprise? Oh. I have questions. Also Rihanna wants her body rolls back….
Maybe the actual recorded version is this bad??? Maybe I can get Trash to listen to the album!!!! This seems like his style! ::body rolls:: (side note: the album version is just as bad)
Ashanti…time is up. Go do something…ANYTHING else. Ciara watch out because this might be you if you don’t work hard after the baby…
Just kidding, I’m totally awake. But it’s time to induct another vocal acrobat into our league of legendary queens. As you all remember, Cassie was ourfirst honoree. But now it’s time to talk about the iconic and legendary, Lumidee!
So the year is 2003. The hood was lacking a true vocal diva. Sure Beyonce had just released Crazy in Love and Ashanti was the R&B Princess. But where was the excitement? The voice of a generation?
Lumidee arrived on the scene with Uh Ooh (Never Leave You) and filled the gap in our lives.
Now this was a different time, for all of my younger readers. These stars didn’t have autotune to help correct whatever vocal deficiencies an artist may have. Not that our new queen has any of those. Also, yes the title is Uh Ooh. Not Uh Oh. Uh Ooh.
Listen to how she attacks the opening “honest-leeeeeeeeeeee!” So in tune!
Now from what I’ve heard Lumidee was meant to be a rapper, not a singer. But how could she keep those vocal gifts to herself? We are all better for having heard this. And the charts agreed, Uh Ooh went to #3 on the Billboard charts (which we all know is the combination of ALL the charts) and was the #41 hit for the entire year of 2003! To be serious for a moment, Uh Ooh uses the Diwali Riddim, which was super popular that year. Wayne Wonder’s “No Letting Go” and Sean Paul’s “Get Busy” also hit the charts with the same hand claps. I’m not complaining, but it seems like using this in your production was an easy way to notch a hit.
So what did this goddess follow up her smash hit with?? You may not remember.
Here’s she gets to show off her skills on the mic.
And they aren’t all that impressive. I mean at least compared to that angelic and powerful voice. I mean the beat is great, but this simply isn’t a hit. The single went ignored (this is actually the first time I’ve ever heard it) and it was on to the next, on on to the next one. Now in America, we thought that Lumidee’s career was dead. But what you didn’t know that she’s a SUPERSTAR in Europe.
But still, she hooked up with Fatman Scoop and brought us this delight!
Now, I will give Lumidee this. Her verses here are much better than Crashing A Party. But what does it say that they had to sample Whitney Houston for someone who sings? You may also notice that beat sounds a little…familiar?
Come on and daaaaance…
This wasn’t exactly a hit, but Lumidee was right on the cusp of her comeback!
Lumidee hooked up with Tony Sunshine (from Terror Squad) to cover the classic She’s Like The Wind by Patrick Swayze. And you know it’s not bad. Lumidee’s rapping is much better than her singing (if you can believe that!) and Tony oversings with all his heart. This hit #43 on the charts ending her status as a one-hit wonder! This song was so popular, that it was covered in by The Vibekingz (who are amazing) and went to #2 in Germany.
This video is so much YES, but we’ll save that post for another day.
Striking while the iron was hot, she hooked up with King Pitbull for “Crazy.” Time for a live performance from our queen!
The stage presence…
The dance moves…
Those vocals…
Those rose colored glasses…
So iconic.
Can’t believe that this didn’t hit #1!
Lumidee then reached out Shaggy because she feels like making love.
Yeah, this is really bad. Lumidee is singing from her nose. And is perpetually flat. And Shaggy?? In 2008? I mean I love Boombastic as much as the next trashy ho, but yikes.
Let’s end our tour of her discography on a high note!
Hey, this is a bop! Scott Storch was a giant douche bag, but the man could make a dance beat.
Her raps are as good here as they are in Dance. He also managed to put some (more) strength in her voice and it’s way more convincing that Shaggy mess.
Okay, I lied. One more live performance!
When I say Lumi!
Y’all say Dee!
But now that you’ve stopped laughing, let’s be real. Lumidee is the epitome of someone who could have only happened in the early 2000’s. Especially early 2003. We spent most of 2002 letting Ashanti be the top R&B singer in the game. And while Ashanti has hits, she does not have a great voice. But with smart production and danceable beat, chart success was attainable (looking at you J.Lo). So whomever was in charge of Lumidee’s career aped the Diwali Riddim and got her a career. Had Uh Ooh been released a few months before Beyonce released solo material, she might have had a chance to pull some hits, but the standard was raised and she just couldn’t keep up. Her later songs are mixed to okay, but there’s nothing here as catchy or fun as Uh Ooh.
That said, I still love Lumidee. Her songs are easy to listen to for the most part and part of the fun is watching her facial expression never change. I remember seeing that Dance video while I was abroad and cackling until my sides hurt. She is hilarious and I love her.
Bow down bishes to the real Queen of Music! LUMIDEE!
But tear yourself away from the sassy elegance and let’s focus on some of my favorite dance crazes from that past few years.
Every few years or so, some dumb dance craze comes out that everyone does. If you are that person in the club who can’t keep up, you just end up sitting on the sidelines sipping your drunk cursing that you didn’t have rehearsal before you hit the club!
So let’s crip walk down memory lane!
1) The Heeltoe w/Alyson Stoner (AKA the fly girl from the Missy videos)
2) The Bankhead Bounce (set to Wassup, Wassup by the A-Town Players)
3) The Original Harlem Shake (Where is G-Dep??)
4) The Stanky Leg (too busy bopping to talk here)
5) Walk It Out (DJ UNK!! I’m a sophomore in college again)
6) Halle Berry (this happened!!!)
7) The Dougie (the original. Because yes)
8) Flex (All of this!)
So what are your favorites?? I didn’t include the Soulja Boy, The Roy which is a personal favorite, or the Snap. I love them, but they just didn’t make my life the way these did. Hit us up on Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow or leave us a comment.
So…The Grammy’s happened. I won’t lie, on first view I thought the Bey performance was cute but not LIFE.
Now that I am on my tenth view, I just need us to APPRECIATE how she slayed. First off, if you are calling a her a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut’ literally go find a room full of HONGRY (yes with an O) lions and just sit there and let nature do its thing because you are rude and a hater. Lets not forget that she is a grown MARRIED woman. Now no shade to other artists, BUT Rihanna get up on stage, pats her p*ssy and gets praise. Britney gets up there body all out for the world to see and is the princess of pop. Madonna shows her wrinkly boob and is the queen of pop.
Sometimes it be like….
1) From the moment she started she had our attention. I don’t think we were ready…..
Flashing Lights…Flashing Liiiiights…
2) Yes, we get it, she wasn’t singing in the beginning. WHATEVER. Ain’t nobody cared because she served us with this moment.
That wet hair flip. Those eyes. My God
3)Body.
4) She stood up.
Ladies and Gentlemen. THIS is proper twerking etiquette. PLEASE take notes. There will be a test this weekend. Her body is so SICKENING. NO ONE can deliver this. NO. ONE. All you basic twerkers, HAVE A SEAT!
DAT BOOTY THO!!!!!!
5) And then Beyonce brought her HUSBAND Jay-Z out and made him feel awkward….. Can you blame him tho? You literally have the HOTTEST female on the planet grinding up on your body. I’m telling you right now I would have been dead on the floor. Knocked out. Somebody call 9-11. I FULLY understand why Jay just bopped like an awkward middle schooler.
6) Surfboardt.
7) Finally Bey caressed Jay and let him know that this was just the beginning of the night. He clearly was getting the Partition performance later that evening…..
And then this happened….
If for some DUMB reason you missed it, here is the FULL performance. PLEASE get into 4:30 to watch Sir Paul McCartney give you his surfboardt bop in the bottom left corner.
Should Beyonce have performed another song? Probably. Is she pressed about her performance? Yeah. Did she STILL snatch your edges? OBVIOUSLY! How does she continue to do this you might be wondering. What people need to realize is that Beyonce’s B- performance is your favs A+. Beyonce on a bad day can STILL outperform….everyone. However, next time we need the dancers, Les Twins, the all-female band, and of the THE MAMAS. We just needed some sickening harmonies, a tenor sax solo, and Ashley serving behind Bey. So no this won’t be in her iconic performance reel but still Queen of the World Bey snatched. Call her a whore to my face and see what happens tho….Fair warning.
As for the rest of the Grammy’s. GIRL BYE.
Congrats Katy Perry for the iconic step, bop, and snap. I will say this one time only….I TRULY missed Rihanna. Why you ask? The show just missed her basic choreography and all of the wrong notes. Most of the show was just boring and flat. Metallica needs to find Jesus. Also Adele, we know you’re happy and crap but you BETTER be in SOMEONES studio.
That is all I have to say about the Grammy’s.
Happy Tuesday y’all! Stay warm and dry over the next few days east coast!
