dance party

Never Forget: The Olsen Twins Teach Us To Dance

So this past weekend was the family reunion which was great fun.  In addition, I got to see Dash and Overactive Blogger which is always a delight!  While at the seductive pool hall, OB reminded me of what is one of the greatest discoveries of all time.  Take it away, Mary Kate and Ashley!

Western line dancing, vogue, AND HIP HOP FREESTYLE?!?!

Shockandawe

I can’t wait!  Let’s start…

“Let’s get totally retro!” (00:54)

Bodyroll, bodyroll, bodyroll, bodyroll.
Step touch, step touch, step touch, step touch…
Bend, arms, bend arms, bend, arms, bend, arms
twirl, snap, twirl, snap!

crylaugh

Listen.   I just wasn’t ready.  I didn’t know they were going to keep it so sensual.

Next the ladies show us how to Charleston.  (01:45)

Meh…it’s no retro.  But I live for the green-screened effects.

One of them tells us we’re going to like this one big time as it’s our first solo! (2:22)

yass

Get in to her flawless footwork and hip movement! Karina Smirnoff could never!  So polished and professional!

We’re intro-ed into our sock hop dance with the greeting “Major Fun!” (03:00)

weeds

No thanks Ashley Kate.

“This one is hard!  Don’t stress!” for our 60’s dance lesson (03:37)

accurate

You can’t take this twist and shout!  Nor that take it to the floor girls.  Your fave can’t even compete.

SCORE! (04:02)

Ummmm…Mary Ashley?  That’s the electric slide.  Now, far be it from me to question our two intrepid dancing divas.  But really??  Those little turns aren’t going to distract me.

rupauljudgingyou

Try a little harder next time my dear.

Line dancing is totally the coolest, Mary!  (05:08)

kanyeshrug

Nothing to see here.  I do enjoy that she used the whole dancing space.

Holy shit, one of them is about to Vogue.  (05:52)

yas

Get into the fierce hand movement.  The seductive steps.  The side to side with the Walk-Like-An-Egyptian arms.

This is what I am talking about.  COME ON SEASON SIX!

And now for our grand finale, it’s time for iconic hip hop freestyle!!!!! (07:07)

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.

Gravevine left, arms up.
Grapevine right, arms down.

A wonderful callback to the bend and snap from the opening number.

 YASSSSS FANCY FOOTWORK!!!!!

snowwhitetwerk

Don’t be jealous of their boogie!!!! Though I see why you would be.

And turn, LEG!

I don’t think anything will ever top that.

What was your favorite routine??  How inspired are you to be a dancer now??

Trashy Thursday: Mexican Rappers

What time is it? It’s Trashy Time!

What time is it? Trashy Thursday time!

So we’ve been neglecting that some of the greatest and most hilarious hoodrat tunes come from our friends down south!  I have to rectify this as we can not live in a world where you are not leaning like a cholo.

1) Lean Like  A Cholo – Down AKA Kilo

Elbows up, side to side!

Now this song was a hit for several reasons.  We were all about leaning in the last decade.  We leaned back and we leaned and rocked with it.  Down AKA Kilo capitalized on that trend with his iconic bop.  He gives you the dance moves, reminds of you Big Pun if you squint and don’t listen to his rapping.  He is pretty much perfect.

2) Cyclone – Baby Bash

Now, who remembers the Baby and the Bash??  His first hit was “Suga Suga” but I absolutely hate that song with all that is within me.  Pretty much any song with him and Frankie J was a flop for me.  But then he hooked up with human voicebox T-Pain and created something that we can all bodyroll to!

3) Bring Out The Freak In You – L’il Rob

Another song that I found via B.Scott back in the days where he was still battling with his Ethiopian neighbors.  I love this song. It’s complete filth and makes no bones about it.  L’il Rob is trying to get it in and we just have to deal!  He’s probably my favorite of all the rappers on this list.  He even has a pleasant love song to counteract the trashy goodness of this one.

4) I’m In Love With Your Sister – Chingo Bling

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass!!! While this is a parody of I’m In Love With A Stripper by the legendary T-Pain, it still stands as a hilarious and trashy piece of music.

5) Bass Down Low – Dev

YES! So I didn’t know Dev was Mexican, but now that I do, it’s time to pay homage.  I remember jamming to Booty Bounce while Dev stood around in an array of hideous outfits.  I remember being pissed that “Like A G6” was a hit because I liked the original song better.

But this is my jiggety jam!  It’s such a simple, dumb song, but I can’t resist bopping to it.

So who are some of your favorite Mexican or Mexican-American rappers?? Did I miss any iconic bops?  Let us know in the comments!

Trashy Thursday: Celebrating Tip Harris

It’s my Friday, y’all!

turnupfunction

But let’s get down to business.  Today we celebrate the musical contributions of T.I., winner of the best rapper smile ever award.

ti

 

Yes.  But T.I. has been behind many of my favorite bops so let’s pay tribute to him.

Get Loose

alexdance

Flawless.

Let’s Get Away

bodyroll1

What You Know

yankin bop

You Don’t Know Me

stantwerk

24’s

tandtpop

 

Ball

velma

What are your favorite T.I. songs?  I know I missed some and left some key ones off.  Let’s celebrate!

Trashy Thursday: The Hoodrat Tunes of Youtube, Part 2

It’s Thursday, Thursday.  Getting Trashy on Thuuuursday!!

fun

 

So I hope that you all are having a great day.

It’s time to take another deep dive into my YouTube favorites for hilarious musical delights.  See Part 1 here.

1) Donk In The Trunk – Mowett Ryder

Listen.  I’m going to tell you right now that I bopped to this one.

“Stop drop drop, pick it up then drop it!”

Mowett definitely has some good friends because while it looks okay, is definitely a budget version of Lady’s Yankin video.  Her booty shots are questionable but you can tell her hips don’t lie.  Also, the scene where the two men release her from the trunk so she can twerk has me dying.

AND THEN!!!! She slides a credit card down the crack of one of her video dancers.  BUT SHE PICKS THE ONE WITH THE FLATTEST OF ASSES.

beylaugh

She does the rest of the girls but I am dying.

AND THEN, we see a girl on a handstand popping it for one of the trunk negros and he proceeds to make it drizzle on her with about $4.

I. CAN. NOT!

2) Cupcakin’ – J. Nash and J-Stalin

Let’s slow it down for all the ladies out there.

We’re back to flip phone production levels here.

On Sunday, we can go to chuuuuurch! ::jump cut to him standing outside of a chruch::

So romantic y’all.  The shoulder rolls.  The ashy lips.  The harmonies.  The Casio keyboard background.

He continues through the days of the week in the second verse.

WHEN HE BODYROLLS IN FRONT OF THE WATERFALL!!!!

Is that a green screen J. Nash???  This poor girl looks so sad that she is in this video.  That blazer with the popped collar.

ashton-kutcher-laughing

And then J-Stalin is here.  Umm, what is this verse?  What just happened??

This is amazing.

3) Queen of The Lesbians 

Now I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t tell you that this is a remake of the Queen of Vagina.  Majela will get her own post because there’s just so much to talk about.

Seriously, one of the greatest to ever do it.  This girl is so serious.  I can’t even comment, I’m just going to leave the lyrics to the four verses of this masterpiece.

Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.
Girls come and see my vagina, ehhh.
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.

I am queen of the lesbians,
Queen of the lesi-lesbians,
Lesbians.  Lesbians.
I am queen of the lesbians.

Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.
Girls come and see my vagina, ehhh.
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my bum,
Girls come and see my vagina, ohhh.

Women, they love me.
I use them to have sex. Oh.
Women, they love me,
I use them to have sex.

I love women.
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Oh.
I love women.
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Oh.
I love women.
I love them.
I love them. I love them. Oh.

4) Ting Ting – J-Menace

YES YES YES YES!

Now those of us of a certain age group will fondly (or not so fondly) remember BET Uncut.  This was where BET showed their trashiest, most low budget hoodrat tunes.  Essentially, if a video was filmed in a strip club, it would appear here.  I got so many classic jams from this show.

SHAAAAAAAAKE that ting ting! 

The grammar.  The forced rhymes.  The off beat body rolls.  I just can not take it.

My personal favorite line: “The way that ting ting.  Shift.  Sides.”

What are your favorites?  Let us know in the comments or on the Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.

 

 

My Favorite Real Housewives Tunes

We here at Class and Trash love terrible music, especially the songs of the Real Housewives.  So we got together with our friend over at Overactive Blogger to rank our top 3 favorite housewife singles.  There are bound to be some repeats (Trash purposely left off Chic, C’est La Vie) because you can’t dispute quality.  Let’s get started!

Overactive Blogger

1) Chic, C’est La Vie – Countess Luann (RHONY)

countess1

 

2) On Display – Melissa Gorga (RHONJ)

 

3) Tardy For the Party – Kim Zolciak (RHOA)

Class

1) Tardy For the Party – Kim Zolciak (RHOA)

 

2) Money Can’t Buy You Class – Countess Luann (RHONY)

 

3) Who Gone Check Me Boo? – Sheree Whitfield (RHOA)

boo

Trash

1) Money Can’t Buy You Class – Countess Luann (RHONY)

 

2) Gone With The Wind Fabulous – Kenya Moore (RHOA)

gone

 

3) Bump It – Michelle Salahi (RHODC) 

 

So what are your favorites?  I’m super disappointed that we left out Google Me and Close To You. Let us know in the comments!

 

 

Quickie Post: I’ll Be Good To You

Happy Friday!  We made it!  WE DA BESSSSSS!

countess1

But this is just a quickie post.  There’s literally no way to frown or feel bad when you listen to this song.  Quincy Jones is hell of a producer and then you add Ray Charles AND Chaka Khan??

stantwerk

I’ll be good to you, good to you, good to you! 

Just click play and smile.

Quickie Post: Flashback

Hey boo!

It’s Sunday. I’m trying to watch these Housewives and win my favorites in the draft.  I’ll let you know the results tomorrow.

But last night, my fake roommate and I took a stroll down memory lane and I wanted you to get aboard this Soul Train and body roll.

1) Uh Huh – B2K

Listen.  Teenage Trash was all in his feelings when this video came out.  All them abses and armses.

puck

I was never here for Omarion as the lead, but those other 3???  My body was all the way ready.  And you’re just going to have to deal.

2) Do That – Birdman f. Diddy

tandtpop

Yaaaaaassssssss! Listen.  Baby is not a good rapper.  Diddy is an even worse rapper.  This song is FLAWLESS.  FLAWLESS I TOLD YOU!!!

Also, I’m obviously that white girl dancing in her room and sneaking into the party.

3) Tell Me – Smilez & Southstar

EqRJH

Gospel!  Smilez & Southstar deserve so much more recognition! Let’s trade Macklemore and that other one.  We need more wisdom!

Those two had so much to tell us about superstar celebrity relationships.  Those girls did not appreciate Smilez or Southstar when they had them!  And now they are incredibly successful rappers…

Wait.

4) Tipsy – J.Kwon

 

chickenhead

 

As I mentioned in this post, The Chickenhead is a flawless dance from my high school years.  As is Tipsy.  From the opening lines, J-Kwon let us know what the deal was.  The counting that frames each verse.  His original crooked smile.  (Sorry J-Cole).

Wait J-Cole/J-Kwon?   Crooked smiles?

THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!! I’VE CRACKED THE CODE!!!!

detectivelatoy

5) Who’s That Girl – Eve

We really don’t give Eve nearly enough credit.  She’s a successful rapper who had a television show and a clothing line.  This song, while not her opus (Love is Blind, obviously), is every slice of thing.

Now excuse me while I shimmy and step.

Have a great night and leave us your favorite bop from the early 2000s!

Byeeeeee!

Trash Travels: My Week in Atlanta

As you all know, I’ve spent the past few weeks packing and preparing for my move to Atlanta.  I’ve since arrived but I thought that I would share some of the adventures I’ve had in my first full week below the Mason-Dixon Line.

I arrived in Atlanta Sunday night and settled in.  Unfortunately, I woke up Monday Morning to my care being towed away.

Dr.-Who

But you know, it’s the third time my car has been towed in a month.  So whatever, I just have to pull it together.  I call the central police station in Bankhead and ask what I need to bring to get the release form for my vehicle.  They say that I simply need my license.  I ask, “Are you sure?” since my temporary roommate was using her lunch break to help me.  She confirms that I just need my license.

After a 30-minute drive, we arrive and I got through the metal detector and get in line.  The lady behind me exclaims, “I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL! WHERE’S MY CAR?!?!?”

tumblr_mkebt45bqH1s3ooaco1_500

Seriously, wtf?  Anyway, I get called to the front only to be told that my registration is required.  I ask why I wasn’t told this when I called to the agent making this face:

sorryboutit

So, we drive to the tow lot since, like a normal person, it was in the car.  I’m in the process of grabbing the registration when I lock my keys in the car.

uglycry

I ask the tow lot to call a drive to unlock my car while I get it released.

Back in Bankhead, the line is now 10 people and the computer system decides to crash while I’m getting my release printed.  I can’t.  Luckily, the agent was much nicer to me this time and did a print screen so that I could at least get my car released.  Now add in some rain.

We drive back to the tow lot where a driver has not arrived.  I send my roommate back to work since it should be settled soon.  After another 20 minute wait, I get the car unlocked and drive away in order to make the apartment visit that I had scheduled.  My phone is at 3%.

A few wrong turns later, I make it and really like the place.  Despite my dead phone, I decided to keep viewing apartments.  Things were going well until I ended up in Buckhead instead of the condo.  Oops!

To think, this was only my first full day here.

As the week progresses, I’m still attempting to complete my background screening for my new job and follow my shipment which has all of my items.

The background screen wraps up after a few more calls and faxes but my U-Box is still missing in action even as I write this post.  Literally, I’ve spent about 2 hours on the phone with various workers and offices in an attempt to track this thing down.  SO OVER IT!  Let’s hope that I receive my belongings this week or there will be hell to pay.

wigsnatch

On a lighter note, I’ve had a great time testing some of the best restaurants and reconnecting with friends that I used to see once a year.  We’ve gone out a few times which has been great stress relief after the craziness of the past few weeks.

Friday night, we went to Frank Ski’s for a free “Young Professionals” night.  Needless to say, the crowd wasn’t exactly young and they were professional something.  It was super crowded which made a bit uncomfortable (I hate large crowds), but the DJ was fantastic.  We were also treated to a show from what appeared to be the Junior Varsity Twerk Team.

twerk

 

These young ladies has taken off their pants and their shoes.  The dance battle was hilarious and ridiculous.  

The next night we went to Houston’s for dinner with a reservation.  I mention this only because we had to wait 45 minutes after making a reservation.  Granted, this was better than the 100 minute wait for those who didn’t call ahead, but still that defeats the entire purpose.  That said, the food was delicious and the 5-Nut Brownie gave me life. We went out to Vanquish only to discover many, many, many Asians.  My temporary roommate is Taiwanese so obviously she was having none of this.  Your best memory involves a 4’7″ Indian man with gross, small hands. Needless to say, he was delightful and I laughed so hard.

And I’m feeling much more comfortable with the area and how my life will be here.  I’ve also found what I think is the perfect apartment for me.  It’s only 2 miles from my office and right on budget.

tumblr_inline_n2jqpwZwc41qfn3bh

I’m looking forward to work on Monday and I really think that things are looking up.  I really am trying to make this move a fresh start and I look forward to finding my happy, to quote NeNe.

Tell me about your week or a time you had a lot going on.  I’ll keep you posted on my adjustment to the area.  Hit us up in the comments section.  Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Music Monday: Original or Cover?

Hey girl hey!

Let’s have some fun today.  I thought it would be fun to listen to some covers of original songs and decide which is your favorite.  We are nothing, if not the authorities of taste, beauty, class, and elegance.

countess1

So let’s get started!

Nobody Knows – Tony Rich Project or Kevin Sharp

Original:

Remake:

A Night To Remember – Shalamar or Liberty X

Original:

Remake:

Too Close – Next or Blue

Original:

Remake:

Hope this was a fun distraction for you.  I’m going to go laugh at Blue’s cover some more!  Let us know which you prefer in the comments below.  P.S. Class LOOOOVES Blue.

Follow us on Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.