comedy

Quickie Post: Saaphyri vs. H-Town

So this was on my mind this morning:

Saaphyri is amazing. My personal favorite part of this is when Saaphyri yells “GET OFF OF ME!”  while clinging to H-Town’s hair.

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Also: You better quit interruptin’ my prayers before God directs me to whoop your ass.

 

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Quickie Post: Monday Blues

I’m not going to keep you long, but I’m definitely not feeling today at all.  So in order to cheer myself up, I’m posting this hilarious “spoof” video made by Hottie of Flavor of Love.  Yes, the one who put the chicken in the microwave.  I love her.

Enjoy this and hopefully the rest of the week will look up!

Bye!

Trashy Thursday: A Tribute to Turquoise Jeep

So my earlier post was a little angry.  Let’s lighten the mood with some cartoon rappers!

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Yaaaaass bitch Yaaaaass! ::Soulja Boy voice::

So according to Wikipedia, Turquoise Jeep is a real independent label founded by Flynt Flossy (Charlie Murphy lookalike) and Whatchyamacallit (the one with the majestic beard in the back row).  I’m going to be honest, I’ve been riding with the Jeep for years thanks to my cousin, but had no idea whether it was a parody or real life.  They also have a song with Childish Gambino! #famous All I know is that they jam and and I live for it.

So let’s go member by member and talk about my favorite of their anthems.

Yung Humma – Lemme Smang It

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This is the usually how people get their first introduction into the flawless music of the Jeep.  Yung Humma is a rapper with a signature hum (obviously) and is widely known for his luxurious locks.

Just the lyrics, the dance moves, the bored look of the lead light skinned girl.  It’s all so perfect.  Don’t even try to pretend that you didn’t bop and do the dance with him.

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Flynt Flossy’s verse is also amazing.  Like actually hilarious.  And his dance moves!!

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Get into it!

Flynt Flossy – Ooh Aah Sound

Let’s slow it down and get romanticals with Flynt. It was a close race between this and Naughty Farmer but I stan down for Pretty Raheem so here we are!

Get into his green screen. Get into the high art painting of Flynt.  I actually can’t!

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(Source: http://whatculture.com/)

Just yes.  So much yes.

Pretty Raheem – Can He Move It Like This

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Listen.  I could write a whole post on this glory alone.  I love this song so so so so much.  From the technicolor suits

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to the Kid & Play tribute

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and the dudes face when Pretty Raheem disappears

 

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It’s all so so so so good.

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To be serious though, this is a song that actually could have gotten radio play in the 90’s.  Pretty Raheem has a “good” voice and Flynt Flossy is at his most marketable here.  Just body roll and get into it!

Slick Mahony – Sex Syrup

Now while I stan down for Pretty Raheem, my favorite member of the group is Slick Mahoney.  Like he legit makes me so happy.  Wait, here’s some gifs…

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Flawless man is flawless.

I think it’s because the rest of the group has redeemable qualities.  Pretty Raheem is not a bad singer, Humma and Flynt pull out some clever rhymes here.  Slick Mahony is the epitome of delightful.  He’s not the best singer, he’s no the best dancer and he’s dressed like an 80’s lounge lizard.  I am obsessed with him.

Sex Syrup has long been a favorite of mine.  We know that Turquoise Jeep loves breakfast food and sex and this is just another fantastic jam.  We also get another feature from Yung Humma and his remy! When the girl dances on the stack of pancakes, I lose it every time.

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Like that is the most delightful thing ever.  EVER!

 Whatchyamacallit – Licky Sticky

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So Whatchyamacallit is the Lyfe Jennings/Nate Dogg of the group doing a lot of hook singing.  But he got his shine on Licky Sticky and we got this body rolling anthem!

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I’m not convinced that he and Flynt Flossy aren’t brothers.  Or at least cousins.  And this is another song where there isn’t as much humor.  Like imagine yourself in a dark cluh.  You grainin on dat wood with your boo thing for the night.  If this came on, don’t act like you wouldn’t be feeling some type of way!!!

Go head boo!

Whatchya – Taste You Like Yogurt

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Y’all.  I just discovered this today.  Y’all.  They are amazing.

So to show that Turquoise Jeep is nothing but on top of the trends, here’s something for your EDM fans!

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Like y’all.  I don’t even have any commentary.  You just have to watch.  The German…and the effects… My mind is blown.  I’m unable.

I have nothing.  What’s your favorite Turquoise Jeep jams??  Did I miss your favorites??  Share with us!

RuPaul’s Drag Race S6, Ep8 Recap

Just a warning, this post is about how much I love Bianca del Rio.  If you don’t agree, stay mad!

When we return to the workroom after the non-elimination, Dela is crying with happiness that she survived the lip sync.  Ooh, Courtney straight up says she would have rioted if she was sent home.  SO WOULD I!  Back on the Courtney train.

Laganja looks for congratulations.  Whatever girl.  Laganja then tries to read Adore’s outfit as though her shitty lingerie, long crotch panties and bulky shoes are the reason they won.

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Darienne checks in with Joslyn, who is really hurt by Courtney’s comments.  Courtney comes over and apologizes but Joslyn explains herself well.  Courtney is unable to be genuine in her offer to help but that’s mostly because of the position she’s in.  Take the help, Foxy!  You can do it!

We’re back and Bianca is so over Laganja (like we all are!).

 

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And that Non-Smoking sign headpiece is stupid.

SheMail has a reference to “Doing You” and not being funny.  Ru comes in and has the queens lip sync and lying on their back with drag on their chins!  That’s funny!

Adore’s eye falls off much to my delight.  Joslyn then says that Trinity’s chin looks like Vivacious because she’s hilarious.  She then wins the challenge!!!

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From the brief clips we saw, she did really well. So happy for her!

The main challenge is a comedy show!  #DragQueensOfComedy.  This is the same challenge from Season 3 where Shangela debuted Laquifa.  Joslyn’s advantage is to order the queens.  Let’s just get to the part where Bianca is better than everyone!

Bianca is beaming, you can tell she’s ready to slay.  She then calls our Courtney for being the shady bitch she is.  Oh no, she better don’t!

Dela is talking to herself and it’s a little strange.  Darienne continues to be bitchy and unpleasant.

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Joslyn is funny but she’s not exactly great at canned humor.  I’m worried since her Jumbo Shrimp line doesn’t land at all.  There is a lot more reading of Laganja as she randomly sits under the table to prepare her routine.

Ru is hear to stress the queens out give advice. Bianca continues to be the greatest. I present her interaction with Ru in full.

Ru: In the past, you’ve actually helped a lot of the queens in this competition.  Who’s helping you out here?

Bianca: Well, they are all helping me out by being horrible and making me look better. And I’m not just a nasty bitch, I will help you pack to go home!  I mean you don’t even have to fold some of the shit they’re wearing

!  You just toss it in Bag #5 and go, bitch!

::Ru & Trash double over with laughter::

BIANCA DEL SLAYO IS FLAWLESS.

Trinity is nervous because she doesn’t have any jokes.  She doesn’t seem to be able to show her chops until the spotlight is on.  You can tell that Ru really sees potential in her.

Ru then announces that a senior citizens group is going to be front and center.  Keep it classy, yall!

Joslyn announces the order as such:

Darienne Lake
Courtney Act
Adore Delano
Ben Delacreme
Laganja Estranga
Trinity K Bonet
Joslyn Fox
Bianca Del Rio.

Oops, should have kept your mouth shut Courtney!  We learn a bit more about Joslyn’s grandfather and her life.  Awww!  I love her and you can see that Courtney is trying to mend fences.

Bianca on Darienne: My worst nightmare is sitting next to you!

Adore then calls her evil nice which is why she’s the greatest.  Time for some comedy!

Ru looks fabulous but I liked the look from the other episode more.  Our guest judges are Bruce Vilanch (yay!) and Kinston’s very own Jamie Pressly!!! Love it!

Darienne is tasked with opening the show and lands a joke about being single.  She’s great and kills it with a Hoarders joke.

Her best line: At the gym, I’m like a ninja.  You will never see me there!

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Werq Darienne!  If she would just stop acting out towards Dela, we can get this relationship back on course.

Courtney Act gets a good joke in about Idaho and twists shrimp on the barby into a great gag.

Best Line: I want to look fishy, not smell fishy!

The song doesn’t work as much as she wants though.

Adore Delano is here and has a tiny sombrero.  I can’t resist tiny hats so she’s already ahead.

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She curses a bit too much and when jokes miss, she doesn’t know how to recover.

Best Line: She has a fake ass and a fake hip.  But I’m sure the ass came first and broke the hip!

Ben DelaCreme is doing her best but doesn’t tell any real jokes.  They cut to a lady who continues her knitting.

Dave from last season’s makeover challenge (Oh I see you!  You can’t fool me, show!) is there and heckles poor Dela.  I get that this is a live audience challenge, but damn!  That’s cold blooded.  Poor thing, you can tell she’s hurt by it immediately and cuts her act short.

Best Line: It is a moist area, but it’s my moist area.

Laganja Estranga is there and makes jokes about being gay in Texas.  She then does an entire routine about weed and says that Valencia is dry like a vagina.

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Best Line: I’m Laganja…

Eek.  That was so uncomfortable.

Trinity is here!  And she starts out well.  She makes a joke about being black and already having stolen their purses.

Best Line: Oh, how I got full many nights from the roast beef on page 27!  But something really unfortunate happened, my sister caught an ear infection and starved to death.

Come on Trinity!!!!  She did so well!  I actually laughed.  And she brought it! She then gives us a wig snatch!

Joslyn Fox makes an ADHD joke and looks beautiful.  She tries to make a joke about Ru being the same person which misses.  Poor thing.

Best Line: Ooh, a rhinestone!

And now!!!!!

Bianca Del Rio is here to be flawless and amazing.  She seriously brings the house down.

She opens with a slew of old people jokes calling them the cast of Cocoon and trying to get a ladies attention, blaming it on Pearl Harbor.

Best Line: My mother is Cuban and my father is Honduran, so I have a large dick, no credit, and tendency to take things that don’t belong to me!

She then shits on Adore’s Mexican jokes saying that her first words, “Housekeeping!” She then calls out someone in the audience (Dave from last season again) for wearing horizontal stripes.

Best Line: “Not a good look in your third trimester!”

She then transitions to the judges saying the line we’ve heard all season.

Best Line: I will show versatility when Santino wins a sewing competition and Visage wears a turtleneck!  You hear me?!

She wraps up saying she’s going to put fresh tennis balls on every walker in the place!

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We return to the judges critiques.  I’ll include my assessment of their looks here since there was no real runway.

Darienne Lake killed it and she knows it.  Her dress is pretty-ish but we’ve seen that wig before and it’s not styled so hot here.

Courtney Act is told that she did just okay.  Michelle agrees with me that the song wasn’t great. Bruce notices that it was a canny move since she’s not a comedian.  I like the look, pretty but with a bit of edge.

Adore Delano is praised for her character and charm.  But Michelle didn’t like the cursing which is something I noticed it.  Ru reminds her that she has talent and that charm isn’t bad.  She looks ridiculous, but again there’s a tiny hat so I’m okay with it.  The wig is trash.

Santino is bored with Dela’s costumes and Michelle tells her that it was not how she wanted her to respond to the criticism.  Jamie tells her that the jokes were intelligent but she didn’t give the audience a chance to laugh.

Laganja is straight up told she’s not funny.  Michelle then actually gets it right, saying that Laganja needs to drop the “Okaaaaays” and relax.  Laganja then attempts to defend her look and performance.  Ru then sets her straight and lets her know that she is not going to steer her wrong.  And I quote, “Not for no G*d damned tv show!”

LET. HER. KNOW. RU!

Anyways, Laganja looks like a gay clown.  It’s not cute.

Trinity is praised.  You can see how proud Michelle, Ru, and Bianca are.  Ru calls her out for having that defeated energy but talks about talking herself off that ledge.  Trinity then accepts the compliment and you can tell she genuinely feels proud of her accomplishment.  She looks amazing in a fitted cheongsam style dress.

Joslyn Fox is critiqued for placing herself right before  Bianca.  Michelle calls her a comedy terrorist.  They rightly praise her ADD joke which was really good.  I love her look tonight.  It’s naked without being as obvious.

Bianca is so clearly the winner.  They praise her timing, her comedy, her skills, her everything! Love the 60’s throwback look and the ponytail.

During judging, it clearly shakes out like this:

Top: Bianca, Darienne, Trinity
Safe: Courtney, Adore
Bottom: Dela, Laganja, Joslyn

Jamie talks about how she wants Bianca to rip on her.  I do too!!!!

::pulls on Team Bianca tshirt::

When we come back, Darienne and Trinity are sent to safety.  Bianca wins!!!!!!

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I mean, duh!  Who else?

Courtney, Adore, and Dela are sent to safety.

Laganja and Joslyn fall into the bottom two.  OH NOOOOOOOOOOO!  I need her to bring it so we can send Laganja home.

The song is Stupid Girls by Pink who you all know I love since I posted this.  Laganja rips off her wig because she’s dumb.  Joslyn SLAYS IT.  KILLS IT.  NAILS IT TO THE WALL.

She even matches Laganja’s split and serves up all the sass a Pink song requires!

YES! MA’AM!

Joslyn is sent to safety because she’s spectacular!  Laganja is told to own her star power, but she has to go.

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Don’t let the door hit ya!

Now onto Untucked!

Umm…not going to detail this one.  Laganja is obnoxious.  And the girls seem to offer genuine critique.  Trinity and Joslyn definitely get in effective and friendly advice.  Even Darienne acts in a humane way.

Joslyn gets a message from her boo-thing and puppy!  Aww so sweet!

Adore makes excuses, which we all know.  Bianca comes a bit out of pocket when she calls out Laganja for her tears and whatnot.  She’s saying that Laganja is acting and not being herself.  Ooh, Bianca you should have let that one stay inside.  Not because she’s wrong, but because this is not the time for that.

Oh well, Laganja is all “people are evil” and “you all hate my guts” and blah blah blah…

No one cares and we all know how it ended.

Bye girl!

Anyways, I’m excited for next week.  The comedy show was better than the cosmetic ads and I want all these girls to step it up!

How do you all feel about this episode?  Who do you want to see in the top three?  Let us know on Twitter or down in the comments.  Love ya!

Trash Travels: My Night with The Read

So this past Tuesday night, I got the chance to attend The Read’s 1-Year Anniversary Show in New York with friend of the blog, Brash!

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Needless to say, it was amazing. For those of you who don’t know, The Read is a podcast featuring Kid Fury and Crissle, two friends who are fantastically smart and witty who discuss celebrity news, take letters from their readers, and then read whatever is annoying them that week.

It’s a fantastic show that allows you to lose yourself for an hour and just laugh. If you haven’t listened, just here…go laugh.

I got to New York about two hours before the start of the show and made my way to the venue (after stuffing my face).  I got there a little early and got in line because seats were first come, first serve.  It was great to see the line form for the event though this annoying boy and his baggy leather pants needed to shut up. 

This was my first chance to see the show live after jealously hearing about it all year. So Dustin introduced our hosts after a fly playlist and dance off.

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Cue a little dance from Fury.  Some of my favorite lines from last night include the following:

“She doesn’t even get eye boogers. They are like crystals!” -Crissle on Lupita N’yongo

“I was inspired by Ellen, so here is one bag of the Purple Doritos” -Kid Fury being gracious

“Da Brat needs a limited edition strap.” -Crissle on Da Brat

“I can offer her a Netflix password.” -Kid Fury on being in this situation

“Nene’s teeth look like 30 iPad minis.” -Kid Fury on the DWTS cast

“Cabbagepoochie” – Kid Fury on Chris Brown’s girlfriend/ex/boothang

“DON’T DO THIS BLACK PEOPLE!” -Crissle on the audience reaction

“You’re far outside your business.” -Kid Fury

But the best revelation of the evening was that Kid Fury loves Cookout.  Being North Carolina born and bred, Cookout is a treasure to me.  The many late night meals and deliciousness that I’ve enjoyed from that establishment.

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As I was writing this, Class and I just reminisced about ordering a Big Double Burger Cheddar Style.    Ugh..college was great.

Also, Crissle’s story about the lacefront eyebrows???  I cackled.  It was too much.

But anyway, I really enjoyed my time.  I thought that the Read really translated to the live format and both hosts were a delight.  There was room to sit and the venue was comfortable.  If they come to your city, I’d highly suggest going to see them.

Have a great day and give the show a listen!

Quickie Post: Good Evening

Do you all have one particular video that makes you giggle senselessly every single time you watch it?

I have several, but today I wanted to show some love to Krissychula (@thekrissychula on Twitter) who makes hilarious videos about her daily life and pop culture.  She is amazing and super clever.  Now, prepare to be seduced.

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(Souce: FourFour)

I just love that.  When she smirks and says “And aren’t you just a salty motherfucker?” I lose it every. single. time.

Go on over to her page on YouTube and subscribe so you don’t miss out on her updates.  Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you to watch the following:

Lana Del Rey’s Face

Dear Miley…

Say No To Lacefronts

What are some of your favorite YouTube gems?  Link us in the comments or share via Twitter @ClassNTrashShow.

Good Evening.