chickenhead

King of Music: J-Kwon

It’s Friday, Friday!

And Trash is finally ready to write a post.  Now we’ve crown a few queens of music.  Queen Cassie and Queen Lumidee.  But you know it’s time to pay homage to a King of music.  But who holds their own against iconic bops like Me And U and Uh Ooh.

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Teen drinking is very bad.  YO, I GOT A FAKE ID, THOUGH!

Bow down, bishes, bow bow down BISHES!!!!

Okay, let’s back up.  J-Kwon came out my senior year of high school and seemed to be a response to the Nelly and Chingy wave of St. Louis based hip hop that had came to dominate the charts.  Now for you all who may not remember, the early to mid-2000’s saw rap music take over the pop charts in a huge way.  It was an amazing time that led to the world’s greatest one hit wonders.  Let’s two step and talk about Tipsy and why it is flawless.

The first verse starts with J-Kwon counting and talking about how great the party is.  The girl is feeling his steez, but she got a bad attitude.  You don’t get none.  The counting structure is clever and you can’t take it. We are jamming obviously because the song snatches wigs. To be honest, I’m struggling to write this post because I’m doing the Chickenhead around my apartment and rapping along.

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I don’t know the song just does things to me.  I smile every single time I hear it.  Something about J-Kwon’s crooked smile and centipede cornrows gets me going.  The beat is just random noises.  It’s amazing.  I think the appeal of the song is that it’s not complicated.  It’s a party song about getting drunk and the things that happen at hoodrat house parties.  It doesn’t try to be more than it is and it’s great fun.  Also, J-Kwon’s mush mouth is hilarious.

And Billboard thought so too.  Tipsy went to #7 on the Pop charts and was the #11 song of the whole damn year.  Stay mad haters!

 

Although Wikipedia is being super shady as I do my research, calling this song a “novelty” single.

So J-Kwon achieved international success and had made mince meat of your favorite rappers.  What happened next?

It’s the new improved Hood Hop!

So how do you follow up an anthem about underaged drinking?  A song about the streets with a fun dance attached!  Obviously.

Honestly, the most notable thing about this video is watching J-Kwon step touch all through the video.  At least, his cornrows had hang time.  Hood Hop didn’t quite light up the charts but don’t act like you don’t remember it!

Ooh, I like when he randomly makes letters of a word in the specific line he’s rapping.

And that was that. Although Wikipedia tells me that there were more singles.  Let’s listen to one!

Oh wait! I remember this song!  See, I was being rude.  You and Me was a cute little song.  Unfortunately, the best summer love song that is a rap/sung collaboration was L’il Flip’s Sunshine.  Sorry bout it.

Now as far as I remember, that was the end of his career but there are at least 3 more J-Kwon’s albums to be explored.  I don’t know if I’m quite ready to explore those depths. Even Trash has his limits, yall.

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But because I don’t want you all miss out the rest of the King’s discography, here it is.

Like Dis featuring Andy Milonakis

Take it to the flo, Andy! Take it to the hood, Kwon!

A guest verse on the Fresh Azimiz Remix???

But I don’t see him in the video though.  I have questions.

And the Louie Bounce aka I Smacked Nikki!!!!!

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Wait!  Wait!  This is amazing.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!

Listen, like I said about Lumidee. There are some careers that could only have happened and been sustained during the early 2000’s.  And just as the curse got Chingy, J-Kwon’s brand of rapping wasn’t going to hold up.  We never took him seriously as a rapper and when pushed to try to keep up with the trends, we got I Smacked Nikki.  And he didn’t even have his looks to fall back on.

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Eek.  But for one glorious moment, we had Tipsy and J-Kwon was on top of the world.  And that’s why he is a King of Music.

Quickie Post: Flashback

Hey boo!

It’s Sunday. I’m trying to watch these Housewives and win my favorites in the draft.  I’ll let you know the results tomorrow.

But last night, my fake roommate and I took a stroll down memory lane and I wanted you to get aboard this Soul Train and body roll.

1) Uh Huh – B2K

Listen.  Teenage Trash was all in his feelings when this video came out.  All them abses and armses.

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I was never here for Omarion as the lead, but those other 3???  My body was all the way ready.  And you’re just going to have to deal.

2) Do That – Birdman f. Diddy

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Yaaaaaassssssss! Listen.  Baby is not a good rapper.  Diddy is an even worse rapper.  This song is FLAWLESS.  FLAWLESS I TOLD YOU!!!

Also, I’m obviously that white girl dancing in her room and sneaking into the party.

3) Tell Me – Smilez & Southstar

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Gospel!  Smilez & Southstar deserve so much more recognition! Let’s trade Macklemore and that other one.  We need more wisdom!

Those two had so much to tell us about superstar celebrity relationships.  Those girls did not appreciate Smilez or Southstar when they had them!  And now they are incredibly successful rappers…

Wait.

4) Tipsy – J.Kwon

 

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As I mentioned in this post, The Chickenhead is a flawless dance from my high school years.  As is Tipsy.  From the opening lines, J-Kwon let us know what the deal was.  The counting that frames each verse.  His original crooked smile.  (Sorry J-Cole).

Wait J-Cole/J-Kwon?   Crooked smiles?

THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!! I’VE CRACKED THE CODE!!!!

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5) Who’s That Girl – Eve

We really don’t give Eve nearly enough credit.  She’s a successful rapper who had a television show and a clothing line.  This song, while not her opus (Love is Blind, obviously), is every slice of thing.

Now excuse me while I shimmy and step.

Have a great night and leave us your favorite bop from the early 2000s!

Byeeeeee!

The Greatest Rap Battle of All Time. OF ALL TIME!

::cues Girlfight by Brooke Valentine::

We bout to write a poooooooooost!

We bouts to hear some traaaaaaaaash!

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Hello my lovelies.  After a crazy few days, Team Trash is back and fix your life like Iyanla, chicken noodle soup, and good sex.

Today, we’re here to discuss the most important rap verse on the planet.  No, not you Biggie.  Sorry Grandmaster Flash.  Hey Run DMC, no this isn’t about you either.

We’re talking about the second verse in “Chickenhead” by Project Pat.  With a guest appearance from thug queen, La Chat, the verse is a tit for tat argument between two club patrons.  Let’s discuss.

1

“Yeah, you like my outfit. Don’t even fake the deal. I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill.”

Right off the bat, we can see how jazzy and fancy La Chat is.  Her drawstring ponytail blowing in the breeze.  Her bedazzled jean jacket is obviously stunting on you other, more basic ladies.

And it’s clear that while she was spending her coins at the swap meet, Project Pat was supposed to be covering pesky things like electricity!

2

“Always in my face, talkin’ this and that. Girl, I had to buy some rims for the Cadillac.”

But why should La Chat be the only one making the bitter Betty’s of the world jealous?  Project Pat needed those chrome-like rims for the Cadillac?  Pat needs you hoes to pay attention when a pimp rides up on spinners.

And he is sick of y’all trying to come for him when he has done and said nothing to you!

3

“You riding clean but your gas tank is on E. Be stepping out, ain’t got no decent shoes on your feet.”

La Chat clocks his Cadillac, having been in it obviously.  Pat is really just hood rich (Trademark: Big Tymers) and that car is on its last leg!  And if that wasn’t enough, Pat is wearing those Lugz pretending that they are Timberland Boots!

WE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

4

“That’s just the meter broke, You on know what you talkin bout. Anyway, them new Jordans fin to come out!”

With La Chat taking the upper hand, Pat is forced to admit his Pumas aren’t really what’s hot in the street.  But it doesn’t matter because all the money that he’s saving by not fixing the broken meter in the Cadillac is going towards some shoes next week.  So there!

5

“Hate to see you in the club, you mobbin’ wit a mug. Knowing that you ridin’ wit ya boy, you nothing but a scrub.”

La Chat tries to strike the death blow here.  She don’t want no scrub and Project Pat fits the profile.  That busted up Cadillac isn’t even his!  You better get a Razor Scooter with that Jordan money!

6

“But he was with me.  That’s when you hated. Cuz when I got up on ya friend, you damn near fainted.”

But Pat sees an opportunity.  Trick, you know that’s his car!  You was in it last week.  But that’s in the past because he was talking to La Chat’s girl, LaCreamy!  She’s a woman with taste.  And that Cadi must have done you right, because you seem to be mad!

7

“I sholl did, in her face drinkin on that ‘Gnac. Mouth full of gold, but yo ass need some Tic Tics.”

La Chat is appalled!  Not only is her ponytail more glamorous and sexy than LaCreamy’s but you don’t hit on my friend a week after some of her Cadillac lovin’!  And anyways, LaCreamy said your breath stinks.  Take that Jordan money and invest in Mentos.  The Freshmaker.

8

“WHAT! You need some gum. Breath like some thundah!  What you lookin’ at, I don’t want ya phone numbah!”

Project Pat finally loses it.  You can come for his footwear and automobile, he stays with minty fresh breath.  GET INTO MY BINACA!  And it’s obvious what the problem it.  La Chat is sprung and craving for another taste of that “good good”.

But she can’t have any!

Let’s take a smoke break.  That was all so amazing.

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But for real, if Chickenhead was made today, it would probably be that thot nonsense and be mixed using an iPad mini.  What was so great about this era of rap was that even in a song built around two people going at it while sipping on Alize, there was work put into the production.  The looped strings are everything.  The fact that it cuts out at certain point so you can focus on the lyrical content is subtle but it works.  It’s just a fun, trashy song that only would have worked at that time.

So are you a chickenhead?  Who won the rap battle?  What trashy rap songs do you love unabashedly? Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.

Shout out to romvn.tumblr.com for the amazing Chickenhead .gifs.  All of the rest are from Tumblr but unfortunately, I do not recall the original poster.