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Maybe I Don’t Want To Be Your DAMN Friend

You know what pisses my off? Those text messages of “Why don’t we hang out anymore.” “You’re so mean to me.” “You don’t want to be my friend.”

Girl shut UP.

Porsha

First of fucking all, the past few months have ROUGH for me personally. I’m exhausted physically and mentally and frankly. When the weekend hits I like to clean my apartment, drink some wine, and de-stress. Why? BECAUSE BITCH I’M GROWN! Oh and because it is the ONLY time that I get before another horrid week starts. Moral of the story: I don’t have the time to spend MY TIME around people I don’t genuinely give two shits about.

Second of all, thanks for worrying about my well damn being. You are so into yourself that you are only worried about……YOURSELF. So why am I going to waste my precious time listening to you talk about your stupid problems and talk about how great you are when I can be filling out job applications, working out, or napping. Hell I’d rather watch my pinky toenail grow before I step foot in your presence.

Dear bad friends of the world, LEARN TO BE A BETTER FRIEND. If you notice someone you consider to be a “good friend” suddenly change behavior, take the two seconds it take to be concerned for them before you jump to “wah wah wah you don’t like me anymore.”

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OKAY?! OKAY.

What is the lesson today class? STOP SUCKING AT BEING A FRIEND. TAKE STEPS IN LEARNING HOW TO NOT BE A SELF-CENTERED PRICK.

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Woo. Had to get that one out. I’ll try to be better at the Class side of this blog but a bitch is tired.

Happy Friday.

TURN UP.

Or nap…both are great options.

True Life : My Boss is a Piece of Sh*t

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This post has been a long time coming but as the end of the school year approaches and major changes in my life occur I need to vent.

I have never EVER in my life worked under such poor leadership. It is disgusting. I come to work dreading what the day will bring. He is literally one of the WORST individuals I have ever met. Maybe he’s just mad because he’s bald and has a terribly shaped head while my students compliment my waves?? He is mean, condescending, and frankly he hates black people. SURPRISE! He is black. While this is a bold statement, I need to point out that both black males have been pushed to the end and will not be returning next year. He blatantly gave me a low review DESPITE my glowing observations from other administration and staff.

Think of the worst curse word… and he is that. I’ll go with cunt. He is a CUNT. (Sorry y’all but i’m irate.)

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Every time I see his Uncle Tom acting ass I want to rip the garbage picker from his hands and snap it over his head. Negro no one is asking for a handout but your blatant racism of your OWN RACE is shameful. Oh and you don’t think you are better than me. Lets compare degrees bitch. Can you send an email without saying “on tomorrow” ? Yeah probably not slut. Oh just you wait because we all know karma is a BITCH.

I am actually good at what I do. I have managed to walk into terrible programs and actually make students excited and have good results. Am I unconventional? Absolutely. I sometimes fake that I am a lazy teacher but honestly my students work every day for the full time. I’ve shown ONE movie this year and that was the day before Spring Break when I had it OFFICIALLY with my administrator fuck shit. Shutout to the teacher of the year that stays on Youtube and has students on their laptops everyday! QUALITY TEACHING!

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Let it be known that you will NEVER run a successful school, business, hell ANYTHING by bullying your employees and making them feel small. What NC doesn’t need is to have more good teachers leave the field. In this school alone the turnover is disgusting. Four have left since the new year? WHAT?! I gave up on teaching this year. I have vowed to myself to never return in a classroom again. It is no longer worth it. So Friday I meet with human resources…Let’s all say a prayer that I don’t flip tables and throw chairs….No promises y’all….

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So here’s to hoping my principal drinks bleach. CHEERS!

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Now go to sleep wig! #PLONK

Tomorrow night = Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion part one.!!!! As I am a life member of Team Nene, I have been preparing myself by reliving some of my favorite Nene Moments….

Moment One…. THIS Phone call… The whole thing can be found on BravoTV.com but this is enough to give you LIFE!

And then Nene kicked Sheree off the show…. “You could use a bl-eaching.”

“Dirt and Grass” ~ Phaedra “I think I tweeted Neverland.” ~Nene Leakes

The older that I get…the more I find myself like Nene. How? Nene has no f*cks to give and no time for BS, BUT she also has a mad shady side and can stir the pot a bit… Now that I think of it, it sounds nothing like me….

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Anyway I hope y’all tune in to watch the first part of the Reunion tomorrow. The reunions are the best part of Real Housewives franchise. I promise if you start watching…you won’t stop.

Need a prievew? Here ya go….

Porsha

 

Do. Work. Porsha!

(Violence is never the answer kids…but when somebody pushes you, sometimes you need to let them know what time it is and push back. Life lesson brought to you by Class and Trash.)

The Best And The WORST Of This Week.

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It’s FRIDAY!!!! After a ridiculously long week (that is NOT over), here are 5 things that I am ABSOLUTELY grateful for.

1)   Girl Scout Cookies.

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My lunch yesterday consisted of Girl Scout Cookies. They are a blessing that rolls around once a year. As I type this my mouth is watering but I’m on a 16 hour intermittent fast, and these cookies are not an option today. If you say you don’t like Girl Scout cookies, your whole entire life is a lie.  Yes, you can buy knock offs at the grocery store, but it literally is not the same thing! (Okay it kind of is but you know what I mean.)

2)   This here blog!

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It provides a welcome distraction from daily work life. It reminds me to dream big. It also prevents me from taking naps during my planning period. Watching it grow is super fun! So yay to all you new readers and followers! You’ve made this week DaBomb.com (It’s time to bring that saying back y’all.)

3)   This Song

FINE it’s not the newest but…Beyonce “officially” released it and I wouldn’t be Class if I didn’t acknowledge all that the Queen does. Driver roll up the partition PLEASE!

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4)   My mother

I am the ultimate Momma’s Boy. I’m proud of this fact. Not only do I look like my mother but also we are the same person at the core. When in the midst of a terrible week, she knows just the right words to say. Need to throw shade at a particular situation? She has mastered the art of throwing shade with a smile that will have you dying of laughter (if you aren’t the recipient of the shade that is)Sure we have argued and I was a snobby teenager BUT she is the reason I want to be great. Can a brotha just build his Mom her dream home? ::sappy moment over::

5) Chicken

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Chicken is there when no one else is. It tastes good. It’s affordable. You can prepare it anyway you want. You need a late night snack? Chicken. Don’t know what to have for dinner? Chicken. What goes great on top of pizza? Barbecued….chicken. Thank you chicken for all you do and your nourishment. Too often we forget to give you praise.

Now here are some things that can kindly go away next week…

1)  My dang job.

No it’s not the children (all the time). It’s the paperwork, the bad parents, and the administration. BYE. ASHY. Teach your teachers right education department

2)   Not sleeping

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So I work all day, have students stay with me after school to practice, have a 3 hour rehearsal for a show I’m in, and then get home around 10pm These 10+ hour days have got to stop. I’m EXHAUSTED!

3)   The last week of the month budget.

I just…. Never have money the last week. The ONLY cool thing about being broke is that you get to be SUPER inventive in the kitchen. Besides that, Being broke can GTFOH.

4)   Colored Contacts

Y’all, we know that is not your natural eye color. Stop. It.

ByeAshy

5)    Blatant Lies

Just live in your reality. That’s all. I’m tired of scrolling and reading about the 19 miles you ran knowing good and well that you were taking a nap. Or knowing you spent your whole life in New Jersey but you’re claiming to have lived your entire life in London. We know what you’re doing.

So what are some of you highlights and lowlights of this week?! Let us know! Comment below or follow us on the twiiter! (@ClassNTrashShow)

Love ya for reading!

Bloop