Black

The Return of Class!

Class is…

B –  to the mother effing -A-C-KKKKKKKKKKKK!!! Alrooooiiiiiight!!!!

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::snaps fingers in Z formation::

Shout out to that trashy hooker Trash for holding down the fort but it is time for me to return! Life got really REAL the past two months. I swear I’ve been sick for weeks straight. The weather still remains to suck and then be fabulous and then suck the next day. I’ve actually been TRYING to be shit at work, applying for new jobs, rehearsing for a musical, performing in a musical, and manage to squeeze a workout in! WHO RUN DIS MOTHA?! Not me.

Despite my efforts to be GREAT I remain: broke, unfulfilled in my job, wanting to move someplace new and start over but not wanting to give up the comfort I have now, single, not in the sickening shape I want to be, single as hell, not Beyonce, not on Broadway or on a reality show, without a yacht, no penthouse in my name, oh and did I mention single as F*CK?

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So the single thing has really been on my nerves. It has been a GOOD moment since I’ve had anyone worth a damn in my life. It really got to me when my rotten toothed, bitchass, rude, and just terrible coworker found her a boo-thang. If that over-sized Gollum looking creature can find someone…then it really must be me y’all.

I’m not going to do this today…. Let me calm myself….

As I approach 27……

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( moving on)…..I just feel that I should feel more like an adult and have an adult life and adult things. But alas, I’m still stuck in broke (really broke) college kid mode with a job that ACTUALLY requires me to put in effort. (Damn I miss those college jobs where you were paid to show up and be the funny black person in the office.) So what will it take for me to achieve greatness? A trust fund would be a great start. Or a rich baby daddy…

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But until that happens….I guess I’ll continue to be mediocre? Blah. So this is where you give me tips on how to be great! Ready?! GO!!!!

 

 

 

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When Will Being a Minority Stop Being a Crime?

Blatant acts of racism have got to stop. It’s time that we stop saying that it is just a coincidence.

So I’m sitting at work scrolling through blogs and the news when I come across this article:

https://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/man-blows-0-00-on-breathalyzer–gets-arrested-for-dwi-003450614.html

Now the reason I’m upset is because, once again, another black man is imprisoned for no damn reason. Did he break the law? Yup. That’s why you give him that traffic ticket like you should. He could have carried on with the night mad that he must pay a ticket. BUT TO LOCK HIM IN JAIL OVERNIGHT?! AFTER he passed the breathalyzer test?! I’ve had it.

I’VE HAD IT.

It is just so frustrating to be guilty of everything in life because of the color of your skin. The blessing is that with all of the technology, the unfair treatment is coming to light. The amount of videos that flood Twitter and Facebook of minorities being abused by police is sickening. The problem is that noise is being made and no one is listening. This unjust treatment continues and minorities are just supposed to bear it.

The writers of this blog are both successful, masters degree holding, law-abiding gentlemen that would like to exist without being bothered. We would like to listen to Partition as loud as possible. Sometimes, a late night craving for Taco Bell calls and we need to get a Chalupa. CAN WE DO SO WITHOUT RISKING ARREST?! No I’m not bashing the police by any means. There are some TERRIBLE people out there and without the police, we would not be protected. However, can they worry about finding those actual CRIMINALS and leave me and my late cravings ALONE?! Damn.

EWB (Existing While Black)

Bonjour tous les mondes!

It’s snowing in Boston for what had to be the 100th time this winter. I’m so sick of it

But that’s not why I am here to talk to you all. If you’ve been following the news, you know another killer has gotten away with the murder of a young black male.

I can’t even begin to express my frustration with this case and those like it. To be honest, I’ve always tried to keep my opinion to myself because I’ve been at a predominantly white university or job. I don’t want to come across as the angry Black man. That is not a good look professionally, even when I’m completely valid in my feelings.

But that’s just it.

I’M SICK OF YOUR SHIT, AMERICA.

I’m completely over having to teach my niece and nephew that there is a full set of rules they have to learn just to live their lives. Yes, we have to and yes, it is your fault.

I’m completely over having to smile and laugh at dumbass racist jokes and questions.

I’m completely over having to defend every action that relates to Blackness in America.

I’m completely over code switching.

I’m completely over “reverse racism”.

I’m completely over micro-aggressions.

AND I’m completely over the loss of innocent lives because these people happened to be BLACK. And having to defend their existence and fucking prove that they were “the right kind of Black” who was worth living.

As I’ve explained to many a curious white friend, minorities (especially in corporate America) are forced to act as the face and voice for our entire race when these issues happen. So when an innocent person is murdered, I am going to take it personally and I am going to be offended when you treat the death like nothing. That’s what happens when I’m constantly defending what “black people” do.

I don’t have the luxury of being treated as an individual 100% of the time, because when the chips fall, I’m just another negro to you.

And that’s the gospel truth.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, know that this rant doesn’t apply to everyone. I shouldn’t have to say that.

But I want to specify that if you are an “ally” who won’t say shit when something wrong happens, you are worse than those who are actively racist. Wrong is wrong and if you aren’t willing to stand up against it, I simply do not have time.

Nailed. It.

For being one of 5 black kids in your graduating class.

For the person who always has to do a presentation on Kwanzaa.

For the person who has to read the “I Have a Dream” speech or expected to know every word to The Black National Anthem.

For the person who constantly has to stand up for the importance of Black History Month.

For constantly having to show there are more successful black people outside of Rosa Parks, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, and Oprah.

For the person who has to defend their minor in African American Studies.

For the person that has to not flip a desk at the semi-racist joke at work.

For the teacher that has to put together the Black History Month assembly or the music teacher expected to have a jazz band ready to go in February…”If not we’ll just play some African music” (real life)

For being told…”Wow. You really are articulate.” or the kiss of death “So well spoken!”  (Yes, this is still a statement people make!)

For the person that has heard “I’m not being racist but…” too many damn times.

This is for you…

Nailed it! …Good work Saturday Night Live! 🙂

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