anjelah johnson

Trash Travels: My Week in Atlanta

As you all know, I’ve spent the past few weeks packing and preparing for my move to Atlanta.  I’ve since arrived but I thought that I would share some of the adventures I’ve had in my first full week below the Mason-Dixon Line.

I arrived in Atlanta Sunday night and settled in.  Unfortunately, I woke up Monday Morning to my care being towed away.

Dr.-Who

But you know, it’s the third time my car has been towed in a month.  So whatever, I just have to pull it together.  I call the central police station in Bankhead and ask what I need to bring to get the release form for my vehicle.  They say that I simply need my license.  I ask, “Are you sure?” since my temporary roommate was using her lunch break to help me.  She confirms that I just need my license.

After a 30-minute drive, we arrive and I got through the metal detector and get in line.  The lady behind me exclaims, “I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL! WHERE’S MY CAR?!?!?”

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Seriously, wtf?  Anyway, I get called to the front only to be told that my registration is required.  I ask why I wasn’t told this when I called to the agent making this face:

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So, we drive to the tow lot since, like a normal person, it was in the car.  I’m in the process of grabbing the registration when I lock my keys in the car.

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I ask the tow lot to call a drive to unlock my car while I get it released.

Back in Bankhead, the line is now 10 people and the computer system decides to crash while I’m getting my release printed.  I can’t.  Luckily, the agent was much nicer to me this time and did a print screen so that I could at least get my car released.  Now add in some rain.

We drive back to the tow lot where a driver has not arrived.  I send my roommate back to work since it should be settled soon.  After another 20 minute wait, I get the car unlocked and drive away in order to make the apartment visit that I had scheduled.  My phone is at 3%.

A few wrong turns later, I make it and really like the place.  Despite my dead phone, I decided to keep viewing apartments.  Things were going well until I ended up in Buckhead instead of the condo.  Oops!

To think, this was only my first full day here.

As the week progresses, I’m still attempting to complete my background screening for my new job and follow my shipment which has all of my items.

The background screen wraps up after a few more calls and faxes but my U-Box is still missing in action even as I write this post.  Literally, I’ve spent about 2 hours on the phone with various workers and offices in an attempt to track this thing down.  SO OVER IT!  Let’s hope that I receive my belongings this week or there will be hell to pay.

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On a lighter note, I’ve had a great time testing some of the best restaurants and reconnecting with friends that I used to see once a year.  We’ve gone out a few times which has been great stress relief after the craziness of the past few weeks.

Friday night, we went to Frank Ski’s for a free “Young Professionals” night.  Needless to say, the crowd wasn’t exactly young and they were professional something.  It was super crowded which made a bit uncomfortable (I hate large crowds), but the DJ was fantastic.  We were also treated to a show from what appeared to be the Junior Varsity Twerk Team.

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These young ladies has taken off their pants and their shoes.  The dance battle was hilarious and ridiculous.  

The next night we went to Houston’s for dinner with a reservation.  I mention this only because we had to wait 45 minutes after making a reservation.  Granted, this was better than the 100 minute wait for those who didn’t call ahead, but still that defeats the entire purpose.  That said, the food was delicious and the 5-Nut Brownie gave me life. We went out to Vanquish only to discover many, many, many Asians.  My temporary roommate is Taiwanese so obviously she was having none of this.  Your best memory involves a 4’7″ Indian man with gross, small hands. Needless to say, he was delightful and I laughed so hard.

And I’m feeling much more comfortable with the area and how my life will be here.  I’ve also found what I think is the perfect apartment for me.  It’s only 2 miles from my office and right on budget.

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I’m looking forward to work on Monday and I really think that things are looking up.  I really am trying to make this move a fresh start and I look forward to finding my happy, to quote NeNe.

Tell me about your week or a time you had a lot going on.  I’ll keep you posted on my adjustment to the area.  Hit us up in the comments section.  Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

Trashy Thursday – Tila Tequila

It’s your favorite day of the week, Trashy Thursday!

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WORK IT OUT TAY TAY!

Let’s get in our blinged out time-machine with spinning rims and go back to a time when Myspace was the social media of choice, L’il Kim still had most of her natural face, and we were still drinking Sprite Remix.

This queen:

tila

Tila Tequila ran the world for a brief moment.  And I loved her.  She has approximately no talent aside from being pretty and delightfully trashy.  Today, we pay tribute to her legacy.

I Love You

Now, I don’t recall where I was.  But I remember hearing this song and immediately running to download it.  From the intro speech,

“You know, I just want to let you know, that I never felt this way about anybody else.  I…I I think I love you.  So don’t think I’m crazy when I tell you this. But if you ever hurt me,

I FUCKING KILL YOU!”

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to the chorus,

“You better go down when you get with me
You better realize that I’m what you need
You better get here before I count to 3
You better do right, I’ll fuck you up!”

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to my personal favorite line,

“You better obey if you want my nookie, You better stop talking to all them hoochies!”

We flawless!  Tila Tequila is territorial and will not tolerate this man not fulfilling her every desire.  This is totally rational.  And while you may be call, “Trash, Tila is so nasty!” You pressed.

This also served as the theme song to her amazing trashy reality show.

This show was MTV’s response to the overwhelming popularity of Flavor of Love and I Love New York.  While this show was not quite on that level of delight, it still was a trashy, messy, amazing program.  The most important of moments being in the first episode…

Listen.  I can’t embed but it BEHOOVES you to click this link and watch Keasha be the greatest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9ILxkbYIhU

“CAUTION.  WHOA.  HEY EASY!”

Love her.

Now the show was essentially about Tila’s bisexuality and how she was going to pick the man or lady of her dreams.  It didn’t work out (I DON’T KNOW WHY) but you know how people always say the Biebs looks like a lesbian?

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That’s why.

Now let’s go back to the jams!

Stripper Friends

While it’s not “I Love You,” this goes hard in the paint.  The rock influence is there.  Get into her dance moves!

I also enjoy that each line either ends in Heeeeey! or WOOO!  That is good fun.

Fuck Ya Man

This is Team Trash’s anthem.

What’s your favorite Tila Tequila memory? Was it when Vanessa and Brandy fought in the first season?  Domenico’s horrific accent?  Or just the songs?  Let us know in the comments or on Twitter.

BYE GIRL BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!