2004

King of Music: J-Kwon

It’s Friday, Friday!

And Trash is finally ready to write a post.  Now we’ve crown a few queens of music.  Queen Cassie and Queen Lumidee.  But you know it’s time to pay homage to a King of music.  But who holds their own against iconic bops like Me And U and Uh Ooh.

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Teen drinking is very bad.  YO, I GOT A FAKE ID, THOUGH!

Bow down, bishes, bow bow down BISHES!!!!

Okay, let’s back up.  J-Kwon came out my senior year of high school and seemed to be a response to the Nelly and Chingy wave of St. Louis based hip hop that had came to dominate the charts.  Now for you all who may not remember, the early to mid-2000’s saw rap music take over the pop charts in a huge way.  It was an amazing time that led to the world’s greatest one hit wonders.  Let’s two step and talk about Tipsy and why it is flawless.

The first verse starts with J-Kwon counting and talking about how great the party is.  The girl is feeling his steez, but she got a bad attitude.  You don’t get none.  The counting structure is clever and you can’t take it. We are jamming obviously because the song snatches wigs. To be honest, I’m struggling to write this post because I’m doing the Chickenhead around my apartment and rapping along.

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I don’t know the song just does things to me.  I smile every single time I hear it.  Something about J-Kwon’s crooked smile and centipede cornrows gets me going.  The beat is just random noises.  It’s amazing.  I think the appeal of the song is that it’s not complicated.  It’s a party song about getting drunk and the things that happen at hoodrat house parties.  It doesn’t try to be more than it is and it’s great fun.  Also, J-Kwon’s mush mouth is hilarious.

And Billboard thought so too.  Tipsy went to #7 on the Pop charts and was the #11 song of the whole damn year.  Stay mad haters!

 

Although Wikipedia is being super shady as I do my research, calling this song a “novelty” single.

So J-Kwon achieved international success and had made mince meat of your favorite rappers.  What happened next?

It’s the new improved Hood Hop!

So how do you follow up an anthem about underaged drinking?  A song about the streets with a fun dance attached!  Obviously.

Honestly, the most notable thing about this video is watching J-Kwon step touch all through the video.  At least, his cornrows had hang time.  Hood Hop didn’t quite light up the charts but don’t act like you don’t remember it!

Ooh, I like when he randomly makes letters of a word in the specific line he’s rapping.

And that was that. Although Wikipedia tells me that there were more singles.  Let’s listen to one!

Oh wait! I remember this song!  See, I was being rude.  You and Me was a cute little song.  Unfortunately, the best summer love song that is a rap/sung collaboration was L’il Flip’s Sunshine.  Sorry bout it.

Now as far as I remember, that was the end of his career but there are at least 3 more J-Kwon’s albums to be explored.  I don’t know if I’m quite ready to explore those depths. Even Trash has his limits, yall.

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But because I don’t want you all miss out the rest of the King’s discography, here it is.

Like Dis featuring Andy Milonakis

Take it to the flo, Andy! Take it to the hood, Kwon!

A guest verse on the Fresh Azimiz Remix???

But I don’t see him in the video though.  I have questions.

And the Louie Bounce aka I Smacked Nikki!!!!!

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Wait!  Wait!  This is amazing.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!

Listen, like I said about Lumidee. There are some careers that could only have happened and been sustained during the early 2000’s.  And just as the curse got Chingy, J-Kwon’s brand of rapping wasn’t going to hold up.  We never took him seriously as a rapper and when pushed to try to keep up with the trends, we got I Smacked Nikki.  And he didn’t even have his looks to fall back on.

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Eek.  But for one glorious moment, we had Tipsy and J-Kwon was on top of the world.  And that’s why he is a King of Music.

Trashy Thursday: The Flawless Music Career of Kevin Federline

Now back before Britney Spears was hanging out in Vegas and coming across…lucid, she was married to the one, the only, the incomparable Kevin Federline.

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True love obviously.

Now during their marriage, King K.Fed convinced the Princess of Pop to build him a studio to their home.  And once this bold and completely correct decision was made, the King created all that is right with the world.

YES.

YES.

YES.

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It’s a Brazilian ass-shaker!

YES.

The finger dance and the face where he is like THIS IS THE JAM!

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YES.

“In Portuguese, it means bring ya ass, On the floor and move real fast!”

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YES.

PO PO PO PO POPOZAO! POPOZAO!

yankin bop

Okay, I’ve calmed down.  Seriously though, I have a huge love for songs that are so bad, that they wrap around to being entertaining.  Kevin’s obvious love for this song and childish man-boy glee at this anthem is EVERYTHING.

Now let’s cover his first official release.  Yes, the Kevin Federline album actually happened.

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This is Lose Control.

This is that hip hop flavooooor, mixed with a little bit of rock and roll!”

So what if he can’t actually rap!  This song is a bop and you’re mad about it!

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Let’s not forget that he actually performed this live!

ICONIC!

With a guest appearance from Britney and her umm… wig, those fly dances, the DJ doing his best to hype the performance.

Kevin is a delight and we did not treasure him while we had him.  Come back to us, King!

Let us know about your favorite Britney and KFed moment in the comments below or on the Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.