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Quickie Post: I’m Bout To Hit The Cluuuuuuuh!

So I know that it’s been a while, but I’ve been drankin’ a little.  So let’s dance together!!!!

Leggo!!!!

piddlin

 

We have some post in the works for next week!  Get excited!

When Your Pep Talk Stops Working

Hey folks.  It’s finally Friday which can only me fun fun fun fun.

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As you all can tell, this hasn’t exactly been my week.  It all seemed to culminate last night when I went out despite not really feeling myself.  Now for all of you fabulous readers, I’ve always struggled with genuine confidence, applying the fake it until I make it brand of confidence in hopes that it will turn into the real thing.

Sorry Y’all. Class is Busy Hitting Bitches (His Principal) With Bottles…

::cues up theme song for the day::

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As y’all know…I’ve had it with my job and terrible principal. With 6 weeks remaining, I’m ready to bow out.

But before I go, I scheduled a meeting with the Assistant Superintendent and Superintendent to discuss what REALLY happened this year. Trust me, I don’t EVER want to work at this terrible school again, nor do I want to teach…excuse me RAISE tons of bad ass kids who parents don’t parent. It’s not worth it. These kids aren’t going to wrinkle my youthful skin and gray the waves in my hair. So i’m out. Officially.

I’m currently sending out my resume EVERYWHERE and applying EVERYWHERE. Only to find out that people think teachers have no skills. Girl BYE, i’d like to SEE someone who sits in an office from 9 – 5 do my job….This shit is exhausting, you get paid nothing, AND you get treated like dirt. So me and my Masters Degree in Music will be doing something else in life…What that is? F*ck if I know…But it will be way better than teaching raggedy children who don’t care. Pray for our future….

What I DO know is that this meeting this afternoon most likely will look like this….

Bey 1

Bey 2

Bey 3

Y’all know anyone hiring? OR rich baby daddies that want to take care of me? Anyone got an extra trust fund? Just let me know below.

Happy Wednesday y’all!

 

 

Fridays Are BETTER With Serena Williams

I’m having a pretty horrific Friday. This is literally what I want to do to everyone.

Porsha

 

How did I make myself smile?

Serena. Williams. Dancing.

It doesn’t get ANY better than this! Not only is she best Tennis player in the world but she is the best dancer! So please go home, practice, and take these moves to your nearest club this weekend.

But i’m in my office dying of laughter even tho I want to punch everyone in the face.

Here’s hoping you all are having a better day.

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True Life : My Boss is a Piece of Sh*t

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This post has been a long time coming but as the end of the school year approaches and major changes in my life occur I need to vent.

I have never EVER in my life worked under such poor leadership. It is disgusting. I come to work dreading what the day will bring. He is literally one of the WORST individuals I have ever met. Maybe he’s just mad because he’s bald and has a terribly shaped head while my students compliment my waves?? He is mean, condescending, and frankly he hates black people. SURPRISE! He is black. While this is a bold statement, I need to point out that both black males have been pushed to the end and will not be returning next year. He blatantly gave me a low review DESPITE my glowing observations from other administration and staff.

Think of the worst curse word… and he is that. I’ll go with cunt. He is a CUNT. (Sorry y’all but i’m irate.)

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Every time I see his Uncle Tom acting ass I want to rip the garbage picker from his hands and snap it over his head. Negro no one is asking for a handout but your blatant racism of your OWN RACE is shameful. Oh and you don’t think you are better than me. Lets compare degrees bitch. Can you send an email without saying “on tomorrow” ? Yeah probably not slut. Oh just you wait because we all know karma is a BITCH.

I am actually good at what I do. I have managed to walk into terrible programs and actually make students excited and have good results. Am I unconventional? Absolutely. I sometimes fake that I am a lazy teacher but honestly my students work every day for the full time. I’ve shown ONE movie this year and that was the day before Spring Break when I had it OFFICIALLY with my administrator fuck shit. Shutout to the teacher of the year that stays on Youtube and has students on their laptops everyday! QUALITY TEACHING!

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Let it be known that you will NEVER run a successful school, business, hell ANYTHING by bullying your employees and making them feel small. What NC doesn’t need is to have more good teachers leave the field. In this school alone the turnover is disgusting. Four have left since the new year? WHAT?! I gave up on teaching this year. I have vowed to myself to never return in a classroom again. It is no longer worth it. So Friday I meet with human resources…Let’s all say a prayer that I don’t flip tables and throw chairs….No promises y’all….

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So here’s to hoping my principal drinks bleach. CHEERS!

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Now go to sleep wig! #PLONK

Tomorrow night = Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion part one.!!!! As I am a life member of Team Nene, I have been preparing myself by reliving some of my favorite Nene Moments….

Moment One…. THIS Phone call… The whole thing can be found on BravoTV.com but this is enough to give you LIFE!

And then Nene kicked Sheree off the show…. “You could use a bl-eaching.”

“Dirt and Grass” ~ Phaedra “I think I tweeted Neverland.” ~Nene Leakes

The older that I get…the more I find myself like Nene. How? Nene has no f*cks to give and no time for BS, BUT she also has a mad shady side and can stir the pot a bit… Now that I think of it, it sounds nothing like me….

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Anyway I hope y’all tune in to watch the first part of the Reunion tomorrow. The reunions are the best part of Real Housewives franchise. I promise if you start watching…you won’t stop.

Need a prievew? Here ya go….

Porsha

 

Do. Work. Porsha!

(Violence is never the answer kids…but when somebody pushes you, sometimes you need to let them know what time it is and push back. Life lesson brought to you by Class and Trash.)

Stupid Questions DO Exist.

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Quick Rant.

I HATE STUPID EFFING QUESTIONS!

So i’m in the process of finding a new job because i’m over this life. IF YOU THINK I FOUND ONE, DON’T YOU THINK I WOULD’VE TOLD YOU?! Especially since you think we are “friends”? I hate when people don’t THINK. Ladies and Gentlemen, PLEASE think about what you are saying BEFORE you say it. It saves me time and ranting energy. If not, you look like an IDIOT and I just don’t have the TIME.

Reason number 1000000000000 why I’ve cut some people out of my friend circle….BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO DAMN SENSE. None. So please take you basic ass self with your dumbass ass questions back to basic-ville and leave me alone.

Why does this annoy me? Because you already know i’m stressed enough as it is. Now your dumb idiotic self has to stick you big ugly nose up in my business.

Truth is….i’m tired of certain people up in my life. Just lying and bullshitting pretending to spread positivity when all they do is throw shade and are rude. First of all, we KNOW your whole existence is a lie.

Second.

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So please call me when you decide to be a good human being.

 

Thanks and be blessed.

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::drops mic::

 

“I GOT THE VOICE” ~Effie White… Not Jhene Aiko. Bye Girl

Jhene Aiko.

Ma’am. You can not sing. The song is cute but you can not SING. You are dismissed.

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Now I know that we all come with different voices. Not everyone can be a Whitney, Mariah, Beyonce, Gaga…hell Miley Cyrus or Demi (they have a voices y’all. Especially Miss Demi…girl can BLOW but is stuck in this pop lane.) Heck Janet Jackson is not a belter or the strongest but she can out dance and out coo your fav. She can make you shimmy and then put you in your feelings. Don’t believe me? Go listen to “If” and then put on “I Get So Lonely.”

I digress. Jhene you are the worst. (okay she’s not the worst ::glares at this new Ashanti song and album::). She is BASIC and y’all are going to stop running around like she is the TRUTH. Wait until Jojo releases an album and shows y’all how to SING. Hell Tori Kelly is making her coins singing at charity events and YouTube gatherings and she can sing CIRCLES around you little girl.

Okay. She’s not really that OFFENSIVE. BUT the song is hella basic and the vocals are so lackluster. OVER IT. What I am HERE for is Jojo REHEARSING “Rapture of Love”. Again…REHEARSING…

In 16 seconds Jojo does what your fav can’t. (Remember that time Britney Spears said she had “whiplash” from whipping her hair too hard? BYE ASHY!) Listen when this vocal queen releases her album it’s going to EVERYTHING (it better not get in the way of Bey taking all of the Grammys tho.) While we are talking about Bey…. If this tour rumor is true…My body is ready AND not ready all at once. BITCH. PARTITION LIVE?! AND I GET TO GET MY HOODRAT ON WITH THE FEW JAY-Z SONGS I KNOW?! Bitch. BITCH.

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What needs to NOT happen is all the hoodrats trying to see Jay snatching tickets before I get mine. OKAY?!

Happy Thursday Y’all!!

Ashanti…Waffle House called…You are LATE to work.

Girl WHAT?! I know i’m late and Trash did a post BUT….

I was sitting here bored as crap. Ashanti came up on one of my playlists which caused me to see what she was doing with her life…

WELL.

 

Ma’am. WHAT IS THIS?! I get that we live in a Beyonce and Lady Gaga world and you feel the need to put on a production. But girl you coulda kept this performance back in 1999 where it belongs. I really tried to like it because the beat is cute…but she up there lookin like someones drunk auntie at the famiy reunion. Also….RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU KNEW SHE RELEASED AN ALBUM THIS YEAR! HUH?! Not everyone can pull off a surprise album release. Wait. It wasn’t a surprise? Oh. I have questions. Also Rihanna wants her body rolls back….

Maybe the actual recorded version is this bad??? Maybe I can get Trash to listen to the album!!!! This seems like his style! ::body rolls:: (side note: the album version is just as bad)

Ashanti…time is up. Go do something…ANYTHING else. Ciara watch out because this might be you if you don’t work hard after the baby…