Trashy Thursday

TRASHY THURSDAY IS BACK! – The Big Tymers

WHAT’S UP FRESH? IT’S OUR TURN BABY!

Trashy Thursday is back, snitches! It’s been far too long since the dulcet tones of hoodboogers have populated this blog.  But how exactly do we come back??

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Now by the time we were blessed with this duo, Cash Money has been around for a while. But like a bat out of hell, Still Fly came through and stormed the charts gaining the duo MTV-Level fame with the catchy hook and hilarious subject matter.  So let’s take a step back and just deep dive in the anthems.

This Is How We Do is perfect.  Mannie Fresh truly was the best part of Cash Money.  His productions are why so many of their jams were so catchy.  This song has his fingerprints all over it.  Baby might as well be a feature rapper in it.

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Now Stun’n is actually their first single as a duo.

The sheer difference between the sound here between the first two songs we listened to is a clear example of late 90’s Dirty South rap and the early 2000’s rap that was played on the top 40 stations. It’s not just the money difference.  It’s a range in style and polish. It’s in the griminess of Stun’n juxtaposed with the slickness and pleasant beats of This Is How We Do.  But you can go to Complex to get a true historical point-of-view on rap and hip hop.

I.

FUCK.

THESE.

HOES.

AFTER.

OUR.

SHOOOOOOW!

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Listen, I just had a pure dance break to this.  Also, how many people punched themselves in the face getting their roll on?  I was actually driving home to NC from Boston for my vacation when this song came on the radio.  I, of course, started to jam and dance.  Luckily, there was no damage to my car or the Chikfila drive-thru.

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Let’s go back to an earlier jam.

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EVERYTHING I TELL YOU! If you aren’t pursing your lips and shoulder bopping, you’re not listening to it correctly.

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YES YES YES YES YES! The Cribs parody. The cornrows.

So this is my absolute favorite Big Tymers song of all time.  OF ALL TIME!!! It just makes me smile so hard.  The special effects!

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Story Time! So young Trash actually attended a Big Tymers concert back in the day.  It was pretty much the greatest thing to ever happen. During Oh Yeah!, there was a giant diamond set piece.  During the breakdown, the top opened and what had to be 100 hoochies dressed in metallic swimwear poured out to dance around the stage for the next few songs.  It was SO SO SO GOOD!!!! Y’all the early 2000’s were a glorious time.  I only paid $5 for my ticket.

To close this out, turn your hymnals to Page 55, Bling Bling.

I know I left out some brilliant tracks. 10 Wayz and Fuck You are other favorites.  What are yours? Share your favorite memories of Baby and Mannie Fresh.

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Raggedy: The Love and Hip Hip Hollywood Story

What’s going on, dear readers?

After letting myself dip back into a touch of depression, I’m battling my way back to a happier place. But that’s enough about that sadness, let’s talk raggedy television and pet peeves.

So I know that you’ve been watching Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood.  It is AWFUL. Insanely entertaining and ridiculous, but awful nonetheless. Let’s go through these dumb story lines.

Ray-J/Teiarra Mari/Publicist Girl: Teiarra Mari is insane.  Like you can see it in her eyes.  There’s some feral going on. Her former relationship with Ray-J is ridiculous, especially considering all that we have heard about Ray-J’s antics.  For the first two episodes, she’s been the focal point wavering between fits of insanity and odd self promotion.  She “changed” her tattoo so that it would say Ray anymore (to ExRay? I guess, girl).  She’s gotten into it with Stripper Princess, Bland Publicist woman, and Hazel-E the Doduo with a grill.  I imagine that she can’t possibly continue down this path, otherwise she’d be removed from the show.  But she did tell us that she didn’t have no daddy around, so that’s obviously why she acts this way.

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Her acting in this video > Her acting on the show.

Ray-J is still trying way too hard to convince us that he’s relevant and interesting.  He’s just a lame.

The publicist girl whose name I don’t recall is boring and will probably serve as the only one who can get these ridiculous women in one place.

Omarion/April/Rattail: Omarion is also a lame.  But he seems to genuinely love April which is just fine.  April is an interesting character.  I don’t think that she is wrong in not wanting to be treated as a second fiddle to his mother.  However, she seems to be trying to take a firm stance which won’t happen unless both she and Omarion take said stance.  Being flippant and rude won’t help her case.

That said, that lady with the rat-tail will never get my support after saying that she’s been the hairdresser for Stevie Wonder.

If I ever meet her in person,we are going to throw hands.  Stevie Wonder is a legend and deserves so much better.

Shah of Sunset/Video Girl/Lean Like a Cholo Stereotype: Boring, dull, and uninteresting.  The one thing I agreed with Publicist Girl about was the lack of understanding why any of these girls would be interested in talking to this man.

Hazel-E/Yung Berg: Eww.  Just EWWWWW. I hate this chick’s face.  She’s the Karlie Redd of this show.  Lamb dressed as mutton to the fullest extreme.  She’s trash on trash.  We don’t want her rap career, we don’t want her face, we don’t want her grill, we don’t want her egg yolk yellow wig.

Yung Berg is someone who is living out the nerd-grown up revenge fantasy.  He clearly grew up getting thumped and probably wearing bobos.  You can tell in the way he brags about having a different chick every day that he’s really not very interesting or having that much sex.  People who do it, don’t say it.

Their “relationship” feels just like Karlie and Benzino.  Forced and nauseating.  Please fire these two.

Moniece/Fizzo Got Flow/Amanda: Fizz is so very good-looking.  I do like that they are showing a custodial father trying to do right by his child.  While Fizz comes across as relatively responsible, he does need to step off trying to force Amanda to be more maternal to his son.

I do think that it is responsible to slowly introduce your companion into your child’s life, especially if you plan on living as one unit.  However, the amount of exposure to the child does not imply that the child is now the mate’s responsibility.  Most people do not mind helping out in small ways, but until there is a tie (marriage/adoption) you as the biological parent should not expect or force them into a parental role.  It’s damaging to the child and always reads to me as a reduction of responsibility of the primary parent.

That said, Amanda comes across as sweet, low-key, and actually smart enough to deal with the insanity of these two.

Moniece is the worst thing to happen to television since Kenya Moore.  I can not stand this person.  What’s interesting is that she is the epitome of someone who comes across as reasonable and mature at first glance.  However, spending more than one minute reveals a latent insanity.  What’s worse is that she does not realize that she is insane, which makes her dangerous.  There is a reason that she is not the custodial parent and only barely has visiting rights.

During her ambush of Fizzo in the studio, it was clear that he is completely over her. This combined with her depiction of her situations as “bouncing from house to house,” starting a sex toy line despite none of us knowing who she is (a la Kandi), and her clear inability to relate in a rational way to anyone demonstrates a woman who must be tortuous to deal with in real life but makes for dramatic television.

She clearly believes that each time she speaks to Fizzo and Amanda, that she is in the right, that she is the damaged party, and that she deserves some sort of retribution despite all evidence to the contrary.  This is the type of delusion that is dangerous to any children (much less her own).

All in all, the show is dreadful. But I’ll be watching to engage in the hilarious tweets and laugh at the general hoodratry.

What are your thoughts on the show?  Let me know!

Trashy Thursday: Some Classic Hoodrat Tunes

It’s tiem to get back into Trashy Thursday!  It’s been far too long since we’ve taken a deep dive in to some music for the basics of the world.  Let’s get started!  As per usual, this one is Not Safe For Work so watch and listen accordingly.

1) N*ggaz Ain’t Shit – Mercedes

Monkey on the dick, monkey on the dick!

Listen, as the queen of No Limit for about 2 weeks, Mercedes went on to release bomb ass song after bomb ass song.  I live for her.  This song is so relentlessly catchy, fun to sing along to, and ridiculously vulgar.  I LOVE IT.

If you’ve been paying any attention to me, I love female rap that essentially brags about how bomb she is.  As a huge proponent of faux confidence, these songs speak to me on a fundamental level.  This song is all about how wack these raggedy men are in comparison to her.  And you can’t take her beat or her bang.

“Not your average bitch,
My shit’s on balance.
Pretty face, nice ass and talent!
Never miss a challenge.”

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2) Slob On My Cat Pt. 2 – La Chat

“Get ya knees dirty boy, Eat a bish cat or somethin!”

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La Chat is a goddess.  We last checked in with her in the Chickenhead video, which we all know is a classic.  But here she has the starring role and you simply can not take.  This is a play on “Slob on My Knob” which is another iconic bop.

“Bet he went home and kissed his bish on the mouth. EWW!”

She collaborated most with Three 6 Mafia & Project Pat, but there’s something great about a lady-rapper who is just aggressive.  She’s not trying to be soft despite the vulgar nature of the song.  She’s demanding sex.  And while true equality between the sexes is not just turnabout, it’s refreshing to hear a woman just make a song that says “I want sex.  Why am I not being pleasured yet?”

3) That’s My Juvie – Magnolia Shorty

“DEM HOES BET NOT FUCK WIT MY JU-VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

Now I don’t know how many of you are familiar with New Orleans Bounce Music, but what’s important is that you essentially don’t stop moving your ass when you hear it.  It’s perfect.  You might be more familiar with Homegurl which samples it.  I like both, but the original will always have a special place in my heart.

It’s dumb and repetitive.  And it’s perfect.

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4) One Night Stand – L’il Jon & The Eastside Boys f. Oobie

“I’m seeing me on top of you, doing things that lovers do.  But I don’t belong to you, what’s a girl supposed to do?”

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned Oobie on the blog.  I did!  This song was a trashy hoodrat anthem before “thot” ever became hot.  As I mentioned, Oobie can’t even really sing.  But her sweet, thin voice singing these trashy lyrics serve as a perfect counterpoint to L’il Jon’s uhhh…”rapping.”

But while this song encourages cheating as way to “respect” their relationships, but you know no one is looking.  It’s only for this ONE NIGHT y’all.  We won’t do it again.

The message of this song is so trashy but I fucking love this song.  It’s so dumb.

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“If you know how to keep a secret, you can get it FOR SURE. 
Just make sure you get enough, cuz you can’t get it NO MORE”

5) Phatty – CCB

“Now your girlfriend’s mad cuz I got what she never had!” 

So we’ve gone to New Orleans and now it’s up to DC where gogo reigns supreme.  Now my undergrad institution seemingly recruited 90% of its African-American population from this area which meant that every party gave us a gogo moment where we all beat our feet and broke a sweat.

It’s also repetitive and doesn’t require much of a singing voice, but it’s just so much fun.  Like you may be annoyed at first, but if you have any slice of rhythm, you’re going to find yourself booty popping by the second chorus.  I’ll have to do a post featuring some of my favorite go-go memories from my time in college. Best believe that this will show up.

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So what are your thoughts?  Did I miss some of your favorites?  My playlist is always open.  Have a great day, y’all!


 

This has nothing to do with anything but never forget.

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Your New Favorite Rapper: MoonRock

Theyre-back

You may remember the slayage that was my Turquoise Jeep mega-post. You didn’t read it?  Don’t fret, click right here and get caught up!

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But they’ve just released a new track so that you can get Fancy out of your head!  Come through MoonRock!

Get into her Bar Wench Halloween Costume!

Get into her burly, yes somewhat homely eye candy!

Get into the flawless video editing and green screen effects!

Get into the frog with the moving lips!

But seriously, the thing about Turquoise Jeep is that underneath all of their hilarious antics and ridiculous imagery, there’s a solid understanding of rap and song construction.  Wait, before you run away, listen to me.  Almost every song they have is at least an earworm, if not incredibly catchy and listenable.  The flows are on beat, the syncopation is works, and while there is some corny cleverness, it’s never annoying.  It’s always purposeful.

MoonRock is a great addition and I look forward to her and Slick Mahony’s cover of Whatchu Like.

Iconic.

Trashy Thursday is Back!

And it’s time, it’s time, it’s time to pay tribute to my patron saint, my guiding light, my spirit animal!

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Tiffany “Miss New York” Pollard

Let’s go back.  All the way to the year 2006.  Flavor Flav aka Foofy Foofy had just had his heart broken by Brigitte Nielsen.   So he turned to the only thing that could heal his pain.  Reality TV!  I’ll save the rest of my summary of the first episode.  But it introduced us to my queen and my diva, MISS NEW YORK.

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Listen.  This woman is life-changing.  She’s so iconic.  She is why reality television was invented.

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Look at her.  Look at that heavy eye makeup.  That flower.  She’s amazing.

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If you recall, New York won a roller skating date with The Foofster.  (“He’s a man, not a Foofy!”)  Her titties swinging low like so many chariots.

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During the first episode after Goldie’s upchuck adventures, New York comes in to greet the ladies having breakfast.

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“Good Morning! Good Morning.  Good Morning.  (To Rain) Not you, you can choke!”

New York on New York.

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Who doesn’t tell themselves that every morning?  It’s a mantra for all of us.

But then, STRIFE! Hottie tried it.

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And now legendary quote number 11?

Excuse the video quality, but I didn’t want to give too much away from the recap.

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“You fucking look like Luther Vandross!!!” Listen if you didn’t love her by this point, you were watching the entire show incorrectly.

More adventures in New York vs. Hottie:

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New York’s first time uttering her signature line.  Like she was eating her steak.  And loving it!

More knifery:

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This was near the end of Season 1 when New York shares a group date with Goldie.  Prior to this meal, we got this brilliant line:

“Goldie is a CUTE girl.  But cute next to gorgeous?  Gorgeous devours cute.”

But then Goldie came in playing to win and snatched that night cap!  Oops.

But New York continued in the competition! And boy, the final 3 episode.  Jesus!

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New York: “Slap me, you bi***” 

Pumkin: ::gross spit::

New York: YOU MOTHER F*CKING WHORE!!!! ::pushes Pumkin::

“YOU’RE GOING TO SPIT IN MY FAAAAACE.  BECAUSE I’M STAYING IN THE HOUSE AND YOU’RE NOOOOOOOT!”

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So we know that she lost.  ::ugly cry:: But then the finale.

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Look at this introduction.  LOOK AT THAT COUNTDOWN!

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firstnight

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She did ALL of these things.  Was she super dramatic?  Could it have been acting?

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Now, some highlights from Season Two.

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Like Brigitte in Season 1, New York was brought back with a lower quality weave and inflated sense of superiority.

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Oops, sorry about that Buckwild!

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Welp! She’s not wrong.

But I have to stop.  This honestly could go on for years and I have to go be productive.

Also, share some of your absolute favorite New York moments.  I’m still working on my Flavor of Love recap which is why I didn’t go in to excruciating detail.  But you just know that she’s iconic and she is who inspires me.

 

“You know what? I just fucked up your date!”

Byeeeeee!

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(All gifs courtesy of Rich Juzwiak & RealityTVGifs.)

A Tribute: Adina Howard

Trashy Thursday! Aww yeah, get it get it!

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So it’s time to pay genuine homage to a woman who helped shape my world view and my life goals.

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Come on, Queen!

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I live for this woman.  Her epic jams are my life.  Let’s talk about three of my favorite anthems by this queen.

1) Freak Like Me

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I had to stop dancing and put the video on mute in order to list out the fabulous things about this video.

a) Her hair slays.  Just early 90′ s slayage.

b) Her sassy hoop earrings.

c) Her fishnet stockings.

d) Her gold sheet sets.

e) Her popped collar blowing in the breeze.

f) Adina body rolling on the bed snatching wigs.

g) The heart embossed on the back of her leather shorts.

h) Dropping it low in the water.

We haven’t even discussed how flawless the song is.  Like Adina is the hoodrat R&B prototype.  The “So we can PUMP PUMP!” is so damn catchy.  Her ad-libs are fun.  It’s just a great song.  One you want to listen to all the time. Slay bish!

2) T-Shirt & Panties

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Like hood love does not get any better.  What do you have on right now?  This is the soundtrack to so many chat line voice mails.  Hope you got your cucumber melon on!

3) Nasty Grind

Adina is on her grown woman!  This was all up on BET Uncut.  But if you don’t body roll and get into her afro! I’m going to find a bae and grind up on em’!

I suggest you do the same.  Catch y’all on my 4-day weekend!