Queen of Music

A Tribute: Shake Ya Body

It’s come to my attention that some of you have not paid tribute to the one of the greatest music videos and songs of all time.  Well, we here at Class & Trash will not stand for any slander nor any shade for the iconic and legendary Shake Ya Body by Tyra Banks.  Let’s talk about it.

We start the video with Tyra and Jay Manuel freaking out in the dressing room.  Her long curly blond wig shaking.  We catch April, Yoanna, and Sara strutting on the runway before Tyra RIPS OFF HER WIG in frustration to reveal bright red cornrows.  The drama.  The acting.  You can’t take it.

We get to the pre-chorus is a bop.

Let me see you! Take it slow.
Move your body! Let me know.
Let me see you! Lose control.
Leave it up to me to take control of ya!

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So let me see what you’re working with! Yeah.
I need to see if you move like this. Yeah.
And if you can’t keep up with me, I’ll.  Yeah.
Cuz when it comes to this, I don’t! Play-ahh!

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Yes!  All types of yes.  At this point, you should be bopping your shoulders and flipping your imaginary wig.  The chorus is catchy and you’re dancing in your chair.

The moans with the “Come on, baby!” snatch.

We then get to the second verse & chorus where we get to see Tyra serve you choreography.  Model sexy choreography.  And pop and pop, arm and arm.  Booty shiggle!  We also know that these sensual moves were courtesy of Tony from the episode who gave us the best dance-off ever.

And then Tyra’s iconic microphone lick!  Yes. Yes. Yes.

So then we move to the bridge, which it seriously amazing.  The beat cools down and Tyra’s doing her ad-lib thang over the lyrics wearing a bikini that’s basically a cargo net.  She’s wet and grinding up on the man-candy in the video.

Let me say this
Your body’s callin’ me
I can hear it speak (WOO!)
So let me please you
Just grab my hips real tight
And enjoy the ride
It’s up to you
To make me feel the heat
And let me know if you can keep up with me

The woo is perfect.  PERFECT I TELL YOU!

And then the beat drops and we get the “SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT! OOHOHOHHHHH…” which is flawless.

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At this point, you’ve lost yourself to the song.  You’re popping and twerking and getting right!

But then! Camille, Mercedes, and Shandi close us out with the fabulous choreo by dropping it to the floor and serving you hoes.

And just in case you forgot the greatness that is Yoanna filming her dance sequence.

Yes!  The arms.  The shimmy.  The splat!

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I also didn’t want you to forget Camille’s “talk to the hand” choreography.

I can not let you leave with Mercedes’ forgetting the choreography.

And lastly, April’s herky jerky dancing greatness with Janice’s comments.

Listen, this song is life changing.  The episode is brilliant.  The video is fabulous.

Don’t you ever come for it again!  Share your favorite Shake Ya Body memory or get blocked.

King of Music: J-Kwon

It’s Friday, Friday!

And Trash is finally ready to write a post.  Now we’ve crown a few queens of music.  Queen Cassie and Queen Lumidee.  But you know it’s time to pay homage to a King of music.  But who holds their own against iconic bops like Me And U and Uh Ooh.

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Teen drinking is very bad.  YO, I GOT A FAKE ID, THOUGH!

Bow down, bishes, bow bow down BISHES!!!!

Okay, let’s back up.  J-Kwon came out my senior year of high school and seemed to be a response to the Nelly and Chingy wave of St. Louis based hip hop that had came to dominate the charts.  Now for you all who may not remember, the early to mid-2000’s saw rap music take over the pop charts in a huge way.  It was an amazing time that led to the world’s greatest one hit wonders.  Let’s two step and talk about Tipsy and why it is flawless.

The first verse starts with J-Kwon counting and talking about how great the party is.  The girl is feeling his steez, but she got a bad attitude.  You don’t get none.  The counting structure is clever and you can’t take it. We are jamming obviously because the song snatches wigs. To be honest, I’m struggling to write this post because I’m doing the Chickenhead around my apartment and rapping along.

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I don’t know the song just does things to me.  I smile every single time I hear it.  Something about J-Kwon’s crooked smile and centipede cornrows gets me going.  The beat is just random noises.  It’s amazing.  I think the appeal of the song is that it’s not complicated.  It’s a party song about getting drunk and the things that happen at hoodrat house parties.  It doesn’t try to be more than it is and it’s great fun.  Also, J-Kwon’s mush mouth is hilarious.

And Billboard thought so too.  Tipsy went to #7 on the Pop charts and was the #11 song of the whole damn year.  Stay mad haters!

 

Although Wikipedia is being super shady as I do my research, calling this song a “novelty” single.

So J-Kwon achieved international success and had made mince meat of your favorite rappers.  What happened next?

It’s the new improved Hood Hop!

So how do you follow up an anthem about underaged drinking?  A song about the streets with a fun dance attached!  Obviously.

Honestly, the most notable thing about this video is watching J-Kwon step touch all through the video.  At least, his cornrows had hang time.  Hood Hop didn’t quite light up the charts but don’t act like you don’t remember it!

Ooh, I like when he randomly makes letters of a word in the specific line he’s rapping.

And that was that. Although Wikipedia tells me that there were more singles.  Let’s listen to one!

Oh wait! I remember this song!  See, I was being rude.  You and Me was a cute little song.  Unfortunately, the best summer love song that is a rap/sung collaboration was L’il Flip’s Sunshine.  Sorry bout it.

Now as far as I remember, that was the end of his career but there are at least 3 more J-Kwon’s albums to be explored.  I don’t know if I’m quite ready to explore those depths. Even Trash has his limits, yall.

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But because I don’t want you all miss out the rest of the King’s discography, here it is.

Like Dis featuring Andy Milonakis

Take it to the flo, Andy! Take it to the hood, Kwon!

A guest verse on the Fresh Azimiz Remix???

But I don’t see him in the video though.  I have questions.

And the Louie Bounce aka I Smacked Nikki!!!!!

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Wait!  Wait!  This is amazing.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!

Listen, like I said about Lumidee. There are some careers that could only have happened and been sustained during the early 2000’s.  And just as the curse got Chingy, J-Kwon’s brand of rapping wasn’t going to hold up.  We never took him seriously as a rapper and when pushed to try to keep up with the trends, we got I Smacked Nikki.  And he didn’t even have his looks to fall back on.

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Eek.  But for one glorious moment, we had Tipsy and J-Kwon was on top of the world.  And that’s why he is a King of Music.

Quickie Post: Umm…Ashanti?

What exactly was that scoot at the end of the performance??

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Like…I thought it was over.

She had served us all of her half-hearted sexy dance moves.

She served us dry vocals over her pre-recorded track.

She sat down seductively on stage.

But then…

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This really is going to get you back on the charts.  This isn’t even going to get you to Cassie level fame.

Let’s just go back to the drawing board.  Find Ja Rule and say the word ‘baby’ over and over again.

Happy Saturday!

Queen of Music: Cassie

Hello and Happy Thursday!  Can you believe it’s almost March?

Now typically, today would be Trashy Thursday and I’d share the hottest of messes that I could find.  But I’m definitely having my man-strual cycle, so I plan to eat snacks and nap all day.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t start a new feature that I like to call “Queen of Music”.

So what makes someone a Queen of Music?  I like to break it down like this:

1 part mediocre vocal talent
2 parts good looks
1/2 part sleeping with producers
4 parts hilarious antics
1/2 part listenable music

So now it’s time to crown our first ever Queen of Music.  Cassandra Ventura, COME ON DOWN!

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Now Cassie is a phenomenally gorgeous woman. Tall, thin, with incredible bone structure and a striking face.  She was meant to be a star.  But then there’s the whole singing thing.  

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Cassie just does not have a great voice.  But you know during the first decade of the 2000’s, vocal talent was not necessary to having a hit song. So Cassie and her Myspace page took the internet by storm with her single, ‘Me and U’.

Now I hear you saying, that this isn’t the version you’re used to.  But with a budget of tens of dollars and a flip cam, Cassie made this amazing video.  It is my personal mission to make sure everyone on Earth sees the black-light sequence.  Remember this was a time where Paris Hilton wasn’t a joke.  Well as big a joke.

The moment at 2:50 makes me cackle every single time I see it.  And her dance moves?  ***Flawless.

But anyways, the success of this song and the fact that Cassie looks like a freaking supermodel got the attention of Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy and he signed her to a record deal. Success was in her reach with the official release of Me & U.

What’s really noticeable is that there were not a lot of changes to this version from her original version.  Diddy was right as the song shot up the charts and became a worldwide success!  Don’t lie, you jammed to it! 

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Fun Fact: Trash can actually reenact this entire video.  Don’t be jealous of my boogie!

Cassie was living the good life and she was primed to challenge Rihanna and Amerie for their thrones.  But then tragedy.

The Downfall

Umm…well.  Ooh Cassie what happened here?

Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl….no.

Cassie! The girl who doesn’t speak English sounds better, well she is actually trying.  Props to the sign in the audience (Elfy, une vraie artiste).

See the thing about Cassie is that she really can’t sing or dance.  She also doesn’t have a metric ton of charisma to back it up.  Me and U is a great song because of the production (Ryan Leslie is fantastic at his job), not because of her raw talent.  When forced to perform the song live, her career became derailed and it seemed the world became more interested in laughing at her than singing along with her.  

But that didn’t stop Cassie from trying!

“Try to take me out to dinner, I CANCEL IT!”

They attempted to step up the dancing in this video and cut all the live performances from her schedule.  But the song never gained a lot of traction and Bad Boy was now scrambling to figure out to do with Cassie.

Diddy attempted to have her sub for Nicole Scheherazade in a live performance of Come To Me.

She was paired with L’il Wayne during the peak of his career.

And none of that really worked.  The thing is that the general public is willing to ignore mediocre singing talent if you bring it with catchy songs (Rihanna), fierce dance moves (Jennifer Lopez), and water cooler discussion (Ke$ha).  But Cassie really doesn’t have any of those things.

Now this post is coming across like I’m bashing our Queen of Music, but really I find everything about Cassie super entertaining.  It’s the combo of being extremely beautiful but seemingly clueless about where her talents lie.  Had she accepted that she should be modeling and not singing, this post would be a lot different.  Most of her songs are slickly produced and fun to listen to, but the addition of her singing has no effect in making the song better.  I’ll provide two examples below.

King Of Hearts

I LOVE THIS SONG! It’s the perfect workout song.  The production is spot-on!  There’s a lot going that gradually builds as the song builds to the breakdown and final chorus.  The pounding bass line, the echoed voices, the synth line, and the gradual build-in of chords around her voice all work.  Even the use of having Cassie’s “harmonies” being an octave apart was smart.  

But notice, that all of my praise goes to Cassie’s production team and not her singing.  The only “interesting” thing she adds is the random octave jump on the “King of Hearts” in the last chorus.  She looks incredible in the video though.

The Boys

Now I’m no fan of Nicki Minaj, but can you point out what Cassie adds to this song besides the off-key “You Get Hiiiiigh” and looking supremely gorgeous in all of her outfits?  I’ll wait.

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But with that said, my world would be incomplete without the musical stylings of Cassie.  She is a delight, seems like a really sweet girl, and she’s managed to keep her record deal despite a relative lack of success.  You go girl!  

Now I’m going to go dance to King of Hearts.  Leave your favorite Cassie memories below and make your nomination for the next QUEEN! OF! MUSIC!