Ma’am, what is this??
Now for the most difficult question ever.
Buff Correll or This 20Fingers Lady?
I know it’s been a little while. We miss you! How was your week?
This is going to be quick but I thought that I would give you a rundown of the past week and some thoughts.
1) On The Run Tour
Flawless. No pun intended. The show was immaculately put together. It reminded me of how big a Jay-Z fan I am. And it is always a delight to see Beyonce do what she does best.
Also, Beyonce covered Ex-Factor. Which…
2) So You Think You Can Dance
This season is the pits. I’m not going to mince words here. I was nervous when I saw the cast announced and it felt even more bland that usual. And the performance show happened.
These kids are talented dancers, don’t get me wrong. But there isn’t enough diversity of styles. There’s an immaturity to their movement. They all even look alike. It feels like they can all only handle contemporary and the choreography is catering to this at the expense of the show. I’m trying my best to stick it out as this has been my summer show for years. But really, I’m not sure how much more I can handle it.
How are you feeling about the season?
Still boo-hunting? Yep. But as per usual, the time after hanging out with some of my best friends is one of complete devastation for me. I don’t know if anyone feels this way. But my life is so much better when they are around. I feel more confident. I feel more fulfilled. I feel like there’s hope for me.
That’s a lot to put on a group of people. But in a way, they are where I get a lot of my energy.
4) Hope For The Future
I’m not one to give out great inspirational advice. My life isn’t one to model yours after. However, I do want to tell everyone not to give up. (including me)
Things get hard. Life can be unforgiving. Disappointment is real. But we can’t stop. Giving up isn’t an option. Letting today’s problem take us out isn’t going to fix anything.
We’ll get there.
Alright, that’s all I have. Leave your thoughts below good friends!
Okay, let’s focus on Sam Smith, everyone’s new favorite singer. We here at Class & Trash are definitely fans. He’s got a lovely voice and sings the kind of songs that make you cry on Sunday nights.
Here are two of the bops.
Stay With Me
Proceeds to ugly cry. Sam’s voice is so haunting and he portrays such a sense of longing for that human connection despite looking for it in the wrong place. So freaking good.
Switches into a bop and snap. I love songs with a distinctly 80’s influence and this is no different. Come through.
But really this post about the reunion of Class & Trash. Throw in our love Sass, The Asian Sensation, and Devin who frequently comments and you will hear from soon and you have the recipe for a super shady, super hilarious, and amazing weekend. And it’s all leading up to the On The Run tour on Tuesday where you will get both of our reactions.
But we’re trying to get to brunch. So say hey! Reach out on the Twitter page. You might see up dropping it low if you’re in Atlanta.
What’s up, People?
So the BET Awards happened last night! And you know what, it was an entertaining show! I mean I’m clearly going to shade your faves, but there clearly was some real effort and intent into the production and decisions. It showed and I’m honestly impressed. But let’s go through some of the moments and performances!
But let’s first pay tribute to this diva who clearly got her life from every pre-show performance. I was completely here for her. Show out diva!
The show opened with Pharrell performing Come Get It Bae. While I love Pharrell, his reticence leads to somewhat dull performances. Although I enjoyed him dropping it to the floor. But then he brought out MISSY ELLIOTT and things became so important. Listen, I’m going to address Nicki Minaj later but Missy Elliott is part of the reason that Nicki falls flat because she’s such a fun and engaging artist with a catalog of HITS! She’s flawless and immediately brought energy into Pharrell’s show. Fantastic.
Chris Rock hosted the show and did a fantastic job. Full stop. His opening monologue and bits during the show were funny, if a bit forced. I loved the bit of him at the Monster Truck Rally and the play on Ellen’s pizza with Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. While it was no Mo’nique slaying Beyoncé’s choreography, it was a lively show in part thanks to him. Although, poor Rick Ross took the brunt of his jokes. Oh well!
Nick Cannon continued his pursuit to become the lamest man on the planet. Showing up with leather pants, a pick, and a thirsty afro, he appeared to make Zendaya uncomfortable.
John Legend then performed, singing beautifully and glowing because that’s just what he does. But then, tragedy.
If you recall, this is how Class & I both feel about Jhene’s supposed vocal talents. She strutted out there swaying and bopping while missing all 6 notes of that “The Worst” song. Like I just don’t understand why she’s so bad live. And this is coming from someone who enjoys Cassie! She’s seriously so blah and seeing people go up for her irritates me. She was up there struggling and failing to impress the judges when John Legend jumped in to sing with her and scalped her in TWO lines. TWO. He didn’t even break a sweat. Goodbye girl.
Chris Brown performed Loyal and I just can’t be bothered. I can’t remember if I mentioned it in my post, but he seriously comes across as dead. The dance moves seemed lazy and he came out in red plaid which would be a theme for the night. But his voice isn’t where it used to be and Loyal, while catchy, just isn’t a song that I’m ever going to see it for without several cocktails and a dance floor. However, this tweet (Retweeted from MissJia took me out of the game)
But then, Usher came out to remind us that he has hits on hits on hits. Although, that curious coon skin cap was not the business. Seriously, the Confessions album by itself could have been a 20-minute performance. We could have cut freaking Jhene for more Usher. And just when I thought the performance couldn’t be more fun…
Listen. This young diva hopped on stage with her boots and proceeded to herk and jerk about to my endless delight. Love her.
Jennifer Hudson performed a song and I seriously always feel a little bad for her. She can sing and she has style but her song choices either feel tedious or forced. She was in a leather mini-dress that was not flattering and seemed to be going for Studio 54 meets Patti Labelle and it just didn’t work. But she didn’t bring out David BaeIntosh in sheer panty-drawls. So a win is a win.
Okay, let’s talk about Nicki Minaj. She came out to perform that “Pills & Potions” song with an Alice In Wonderland set. The performance, like the song, was mediocre. I say this, knowing that I actually don’t really mind her these days. Her make-under is truly one of the best image reinventions in recent memory. That plus Lookin Ass had me thinking that perhaps we could co-exist. But I do feel like while Nicki has the ability to be a dope lyricist and certainly has some creativity, her performance come across very middle school play. There’s a lack of polish in her “art” that makes it childish and less impressive when compared to her contemporaries.
Think back to her Catholic mess at the Grammy’s. She felt like that was going to be shocking and say something, but really it was just off-putting and uninteresting. With the childish set and the fact that Pills and Potions just isn’t an interesting summer song, it was blah and made her later comments seem even more petty.
It’s why her Beez In The Trap performance from 2012 was so good. Taking out all of the “art” forced her to rely on her rhymes and presence and the performance was better because of it. Also, this.
We’ll come back to Nicki coming for Iggy later.
Okay, next August Alasia, Trey Songz, and Chris Brown came out to make the young ladies and gays of the world moist. Asian Sensation, who you may remember from our NFL Draft post, loves her some August. I don’t particularly mind him, but he’s so fun to laugh at. With that said, his performance was fine. He may have a limited vocal range, but he works what he has well. He reminds me of a Lyfe Jennings, but for those who didn’t live through dial-up internet. It’s also further proof that Trey Songz, fine as he is, sounds like shit live. Chris still sounds like he’d rather be having a root canal.
We then got Trey Songz performing Na Na and yeah, the performance is better watched on mute. OOOH, but do you remember when he sang for Prince????
Prince’s pursed lips of judgement will continue to get us all through the day.
We then got to the Lionel Richie’s tribute. Or should I say Ritchie? Really, BET?? I just can’t with you.
But John Legend, Ledisi, and Yolanda Adams did a bang up job. Especially Yolanda who brought the house down. Lionel then gave an airy fairy speech before blessing us with All Night Long which by FAR my favorite solo song of his. (Zoom by the Commodores being my all-time favorite.)
AYYYYYYYYYYYE JAMBO JAMBO!
So T.I. and Iggy Brazilia performed “No Mediocre” which led to Iggy’s Fancy. T.I. has perfect teeth and wore a parka. Iggy mumble rapped her way though and sat on a lawn chair. It was fine for what it was. But let’s talk Iggy. She is the target of a lot of hatred a la Macklemore, for adopting a “blaccent” for her raps and some racist tweets earlier in her career. Essentially, the running commentary is that she is a parody of hip hop who has been elevated because of her skin color. I get not liking her because her catalog is mostly mediocre and the tweets, but her adopting a rap persona doesn’t phase me at all. L’il Kim’s nor Foxy Brown’s natural voices were nearly as gruff as their songs. And whether you like it or not, Fancy is one of the songs of the summer. It’s catchy, it’s fun to sing/rap along to, and Iggy sells it. The execution of her Clueless-inspired video is killer.
But back to Nicki coming for Iggy’s writing credits and authenticity. Girl. Good. Bye. I don’t say that because I’m some huge Iggy fan or anything. But to come for someone who is having career success when you’ve just beaten her for an award is petty. It doesn’t make you look good. It doesn’t speak well for your belief in YOUR career. And to have Nicki Minaj come for anyone on the grounds of authenticity when she has run around for a good 5 years wearing multi-colored quick weaves, speaking in tragic accents, and calling herself a Barbie just reeks of a lack of self-awareness. Writing all of those lyrics gave us Stupid Hoe and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. So good for you?
Listen. I screamed. I just wasn’t ready. This was a huge win. Of course, this led to me wanting a bunch of other groups for it. All-4-One, Tony Toni Toné, Shai, Blackstreet, Jodeci… I would have died.
A tribute to Ruby Dee and Maya Angelou orated by Phylicia Rashad was stunning and well done. This is what I meant when I said that the awards did a much better job of paying real tribute to real people in a respectful way. Medger Ever’s widow delivered a beautiful speech as well.
The show closed with a YouTube of Beyoncé & Jay-Z performing Partition at their tour. This isn’t the first time they’ve done this and the disappointment of so many fans was hilarious. I didn’t pay a ton of attention because I’m seeing them in 2 weeks.
And that’s that? My favorite performances were Yolanda Adams and Usher. Seeing Paris Hilton there was hilarious. Robin Thicke’s “public” plea for Paula Patton is awkward and uncomfortable.
Here are some of my favorite tweets from the night.
Leave your favorite moments!
And it’s time, it’s time, it’s time to pay tribute to my patron saint, my guiding light, my spirit animal!
Tiffany “Miss New York” Pollard
Let’s go back. All the way to the year 2006. Flavor Flav aka Foofy Foofy had just had his heart broken by Brigitte Nielsen. So he turned to the only thing that could heal his pain. Reality TV! I’ll save the rest of my summary of the first episode. But it introduced us to my queen and my diva, MISS NEW YORK.
Listen. This woman is life-changing. She’s so iconic. She is why reality television was invented.
Look at her. Look at that heavy eye makeup. That flower. She’s amazing.
If you recall, New York won a roller skating date with The Foofster. (“He’s a man, not a Foofy!”) Her titties swinging low like so many chariots.
During the first episode after Goldie’s upchuck adventures, New York comes in to greet the ladies having breakfast.
“Good Morning! Good Morning. Good Morning. (To Rain) Not you, you can choke!”
New York on New York.
Who doesn’t tell themselves that every morning? It’s a mantra for all of us.
But then, STRIFE! Hottie tried it.
And now legendary quote number 11?
Excuse the video quality, but I didn’t want to give too much away from the recap.
“You fucking look like Luther Vandross!!!” Listen if you didn’t love her by this point, you were watching the entire show incorrectly.
More adventures in New York vs. Hottie:
New York’s first time uttering her signature line. Like she was eating her steak. And loving it!
This was near the end of Season 1 when New York shares a group date with Goldie. Prior to this meal, we got this brilliant line:
“Goldie is a CUTE girl. But cute next to gorgeous? Gorgeous devours cute.”
But then Goldie came in playing to win and snatched that night cap! Oops.
But New York continued in the competition! And boy, the final 3 episode. Jesus!
New York: “Slap me, you bi***”
Pumkin: ::gross spit::
New York: YOU MOTHER F*CKING WHORE!!!! ::pushes Pumkin::
“YOU’RE GOING TO SPIT IN MY FAAAAACE. BECAUSE I’M STAYING IN THE HOUSE AND YOU’RE NOOOOOOOT!”
So we know that she lost. ::ugly cry:: But then the finale.
Look at this introduction. LOOK AT THAT COUNTDOWN!
She did ALL of these things. Was she super dramatic? Could it have been acting?
Now, some highlights from Season Two.
Like Brigitte in Season 1, New York was brought back with a lower quality weave and inflated sense of superiority.
Oops, sorry about that Buckwild!
Welp! She’s not wrong.
But I have to stop. This honestly could go on for years and I have to go be productive.
Also, share some of your absolute favorite New York moments. I’m still working on my Flavor of Love recap which is why I didn’t go in to excruciating detail. But you just know that she’s iconic and she is who inspires me.
“You know what? I just fucked up your date!”
Woo it’s Friday!
This is going to be quick, but I wanted to highlight Michelle’s new song “Say Yes” with a Destiny’s Child Reunion.
This is so cute! I love the song. I love that you can bop to this without it coming too close to “gospel rap” which is not fun for me.
But I just had to take a moment for all the YouTube haters out there like “How can Beyonce sing a song about Jesus when she sold her soul to the devil?” and “Michelle is autotuned”.
Girl. Good. Bye.
There is no room for anyone to judge but God. We’re not trying to live for your glory. So get out of their business and mind your own heavenly journey.
Tis all. Make it a good day!
Hey People! It’s Monday!
Kidding of course…
I don’t quite have enough thoughts for a full post but here’s what’s on my mind as the week starts.
Fighting Shade with Shade
But let’s talk about raggedy people. You know the ones. That lie in your face with a shit-eating grin.
This weekend I caught wind of a certain bad-bodied trashbox who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and caused a stir. Or so he thought. After discussions with Class, we decided to take Kid Fury‘s advice.
Since someone ran their mouth trying to elevate himself, good luck finding that invitation boo! A Save The Date ain’t an invitation. Stay pressed and I hope you didn’t buy that bowtie yet.
The lesson here is that when you can never win when you’re dirty. Act with discretion and consideration and people won’t feel the need to play you.
Solange vs. Jay-Z
I know y’all are buzzing and I’m not here to speculate on the causes and effects of this elevator video.
That said, WHAT JUST HAPPENED???
Like what has got Solange so mad? Twitter has been ablaze with jokes and commentary. It’s made the day go by way faster.
But what I do know is that you relationships experts with no man and/or woman can keep your mouths shut on the issue. We don’t need your input on a soundless video.
Now I’m not Rihanna fan but this song has always been a bop! But the best part of the song has always been when Sean Paul randomly yells, “INSTANTANEOUS” in the background. (3:11 in the video below)
So that’s what’s on my mind? What are you thinking about today??
Now I had a rant to present today but I decided to give my spirit a rest and not do it. No fears, I will save it for later and look on the bright side on this here Friday. So here are three things that I loved about this week from hell.
#1 The Queen.
Y’all ALREADY know about the “On the Run Tour” and both Class and Trash will be in attendance to see the queen and her man shut it down one last time before she takes a well deserved break and tries to pop out another kid (yeah I know Bey like that.) I can not wait to End of Time stomp all up and the field in the Baltimore. IS IT JULY YET?! It’s kind of crazy how much joy and life Beyonce gives me…but whatever, get over it! Ya mad? STAY MAD!
#2 The Real Housewives of Atlanta REUNION.
In between praise sessions to get my spirits up, I watched the ratchet world these ladies live in. I can watch it over and over and over and NEVER stop laughing. Thank you Bravo, Andy Cohen, Nene Leakes, and Phaedra Parks (Mama Joyce as well) for remaining flawless on the reunion. You tried it Cynthia.I’ll be giving out their end of the season report card soon.
#3 Ariana Grande
She dropped a new single this week and I am LIVING. She was my number one most played artist on Spotify with “Baby I” the most played song last year. I’m a Ariana Grande Stan and I’m PROUD! It seems that this princess is here to STAY! If you haven’t listened to her new single “Problem” don’t talk to me.
So that’s it folks! One day i’ll fill up this post with a new job, my money right, and love in my life. Until that happens music and trashy reality TV will give me life!
But y’all…. ITS FRIDAY SO let’s enjoy this weekend thing!
First. HAPPY FRIDAY! We all made it through another long week. TURN UP my friends!
Second, if for some reason you don’t know who Lauryn Hill is or you don’t know about Sister Act 2, you have homework to do. Sister Act 2 was THAT movie back in the day and still SLAYS. I don’t want to talk about the fact that it came out in 1993 (Dear Lord I’m old). It was and is a PERFECT damn movie from beginning to end. Here’s one of several flawless moments…
::dies laughing:: Never gets old….
This movie gave us a killer rendition of “His Eye is on The Sparrow” (Shout to Tanya Blount on that harmony tho!), “Joyful Joyful”, AND Ms. Lauryn Hill emerged to kill the scene. Her voice is out of this world extraordinary. No one compares. She sang her heart out in “Killing Me Softly” with The Fugees; so much so that it is the only version of that song that exists (No shade Roberta Flack). Then in 1998 she dropped a once in a lifetime album. “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” . This album STILL is relevant and perfect album. An album in which I revisit regularly. Ex-Factor? Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You? Tell Him? TELL HIM?!?!?!??! The album is just ***FLAWLESS!
Woo now that I got that out of the way….. I think we know what happens next in her life….
The moral of the story is before I went to sleep last night I said, “I wonder if she’s been performing lately.” I jumped on YouTube. And y’all. She’s back. Her voice in this Stevie Wonder cover of “I Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer” gave me chills all over. GET INTO IT.
She also performed “Final Hour” and I got my entire life. Sounds NOTHING like the album version. She’s out here snatching wigs. Get READY!
MUSIC. MUSIC!!!!!! THIS is the quality of music that we should be expecting form our artists. No one is making GOOD music like this on the regular anymore.
“No one makes albums anymore.” ~ Beyonce
We’ve grown to comfortable with “pop music” and quick hits. We miss you Ms. Lauryn Hill. We miss music with a message. While Beyonce BETTER win all of the Grammys next year….I won’t be mad if Lauryn sneaks up with a new album and takes a couple. She deserves it.
Can we also note how GORGEOUS she is? When she hits you with that smile at the end? Stunning. We LOVE you Ms. Hill!!!!
Ok I’m out y’all.
So…The Grammy’s happened. I won’t lie, on first view I thought the Bey performance was cute but not LIFE.
Now that I am on my tenth view, I just need us to APPRECIATE how she slayed. First off, if you are calling a her a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut’ literally go find a room full of HONGRY (yes with an O) lions and just sit there and let nature do its thing because you are rude and a hater. Lets not forget that she is a grown MARRIED woman. Now no shade to other artists, BUT Rihanna get up on stage, pats her p*ssy and gets praise. Britney gets up there body all out for the world to see and is the princess of pop. Madonna shows her wrinkly boob and is the queen of pop.
Sometimes it be like….
1) From the moment she started she had our attention. I don’t think we were ready…..
Flashing Lights…Flashing Liiiiights…
2) Yes, we get it, she wasn’t singing in the beginning. WHATEVER. Ain’t nobody cared because she served us with this moment.
That wet hair flip. Those eyes. My God
4) She stood up.
Ladies and Gentlemen. THIS is proper twerking etiquette. PLEASE take notes. There will be a test this weekend. Her body is so SICKENING. NO ONE can deliver this. NO. ONE. All you basic twerkers, HAVE A SEAT!
DAT BOOTY THO!!!!!!
5) And then Beyonce brought her HUSBAND Jay-Z out and made him feel awkward….. Can you blame him tho? You literally have the HOTTEST female on the planet grinding up on your body. I’m telling you right now I would have been dead on the floor. Knocked out. Somebody call 9-11. I FULLY understand why Jay just bopped like an awkward middle schooler.
7) Finally Bey caressed Jay and let him know that this was just the beginning of the night. He clearly was getting the Partition performance later that evening…..
And then this happened….
If for some DUMB reason you missed it, here is the FULL performance. PLEASE get into 4:30 to watch Sir Paul McCartney give you his surfboardt bop in the bottom left corner.
Should Beyonce have performed another song? Probably. Is she pressed about her performance? Yeah. Did she STILL snatch your edges? OBVIOUSLY! How does she continue to do this you might be wondering. What people need to realize is that Beyonce’s B- performance is your favs A+. Beyonce on a bad day can STILL outperform….everyone. However, next time we need the dancers, Les Twins, the all-female band, and of the THE MAMAS. We just needed some sickening harmonies, a tenor sax solo, and Ashley serving behind Bey. So no this won’t be in her iconic performance reel but still Queen of the World Bey snatched. Call her a whore to my face and see what happens tho….Fair warning.
As for the rest of the Grammy’s. GIRL BYE.
Congrats Katy Perry for the iconic step, bop, and snap. I will say this one time only….I TRULY missed Rihanna. Why you ask? The show just missed her basic choreography and all of the wrong notes. Most of the show was just boring and flat. Metallica needs to find Jesus. Also Adele, we know you’re happy and crap but you BETTER be in SOMEONES studio.
That is all I have to say about the Grammy’s.
Happy Tuesday y’all! Stay warm and dry over the next few days east coast!