It’s Monday. I’m still sick. So my attitude is a little salty. So let’s talk about these flops for a second. Now, I pretty much have a close knit group of friends with whom I text and chat on the phone. I find it easier to limit my irritation. But after one of those “nights” out, I ended up trading numbers with a bunch of people who I don’t recall meeting and it reminded me that some people are awful at this texting thing. So let’s lay out some ground rules.
1) No dumb acronyms.
So I got a text the other day that started with “hru?” What pray tell is that?
I was able to gather that it means “How are you?” but seriously, how hard is it to just type that out? You couldn’t spare the additional second it takes to send a proper greeting? We aren’t using T9 anymore and there isn’t a character limit. It won’t hurt you. I promise.
2) Calm down, ho!
If I haven’t responded in 9-10 messages spread over a day or two, there’s a few reasons.
A) I’ve lost my phone.
B) There’s an emergency situation.
C) I’m in a place with no signal.
D) I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
So calm down, have a Kit Kat, and when I respond, we can chat. If I don’t respond, hit that block button and keep me out of your life.
This may seem contrary to point two, but it is not. If we are having a conversation that entails plans or any serious matter and there’s a period where you might not be able to reply, let somebody know. If I’m at work and have a meeting, I’ll simply send a quick message as I walk that says, I’ll be back in a bit. If you feel yourself falling asleep, just say so. It saves times and is way more considerate.
4) Do not include people who don’t each other in group chats.
I don’t want to get messages about things I don’t care about from people I don’t know. Unless I was told before hand, don’t just include my number in this.
5) No One Letter Responses
This is literally only okay if I’m picking you up and text you that I am here. Otherwise, save that lazy shit for someone else.
6) Stop Yelling At Me
Give that exclamation point a rest. Caps lock too. So nasty and so rude!
7) Restrain yourself on emojis.
I know that the iPhone has a multitude of fun emojis. But every sentence doesn’t need a smile. And please know that the winky face is only for certain occasions. Otherwise, it’s weird.
8) “What’s Up”
If you text me that and don’t continue the conversation, you’re edging towards getting deleted. Why text me if you don’t have anything to talk about or can’t carry a conversation. You initiated, talk to me hussy!
That’s all I have for now, but feel free to add your own rules!