Hey loves! This was a huge week to recap so I’m going to break them into the two episodes. Right? Right.
We’re back in the workroom after Milk’s elimination. Trinity seems to think that someone cares that she isn’t used to the challenges. No one does, boo. Adore is congratulated for her win and Joslyn is congratulated for cracking the top three.
Ben makes a joke about not being in the top so he could sit down which cuts to Darienne being jealous. Courtney complains about the resting on pretty critique. Bianca comes in like the boss she is to say that Trinity’s “speeches” aren’t going to get her the win.
We get back and it’s time for Shemail! References to makeup abound as Ru comes in to announce a fruit/hand modeling challenge. Well…okay Ru.
Bianca looks so ridiculous and I love her. Laganja manages to win, for no reason at all.
The main challenge! RuPaul is launching her own makeup line and the challenge will be a 30-second commercial targeting different segments of women. Because Ru is messy, she’s assigning the teams.
Adore & Laganja – Mean Girl, spoiled teenagers
Joslyn & Courtney – Hot Mamas
Bianca & Trinity – Working Girls
Darienne & Dela – Cougar Demo
Bianca is all “THANKS RU! YOU SHADY BITCH!” because like me, she is sick of Trinity. Ru doesn’t even try to hide the machinations like she did in Season 4 with the lie detector test. This challenge is about the drama!
The ladies are preparing and Laganja thinks that they have an advantage but is worried that “she won’t be the star!” No girl. Adore wins the confessional, saying “I was raised right, so all I can do is nervous laugh!” Adore is a funny bitch. Joslyn is so starstruck and Courtney is serving up all of the shade.
RuPaul comes back to check in on the girls. Darienne can’t seem to contain her shade and jealousy. Dela is trying to keep it together, but Darienne can’t seem to act right. You are too old to act like that.
Bianca and Trinity are next. Bianca is prepared because she’s amazing and Trinity continues to be soaked in flop sweat. Ru calls her on it, but Trinity is a snippy bitch.
Ru sincerely tries to motivate Trinity with Bianca’s support. I would have told her to go home then with your “trying” ass. But that’s why I don’t have a reality show.
We cut to taping where Michelle Visage and RuPaul are on set to help. Laganja and Adore are up first. Michelle is so over Laganja, it’s not even funny. The two can’t get the timing right on their twirls, which is funny. Joslyn and Courtney are next and while their concept is okay, the jokes don’t land like they should. They both look pretty but this is an area where both of these two are funny-ish. Courtney is much funnier when she sarcastically says that they nailed it on the first take. Good use of the Pit Crew though.
Dela & Darienne are on the set. The concept is definitely there but it seems like Michelle isn’t feeling their style. Trinity and Bianca are on the set. Trinity’s look as always is on point. Bianca is being all of supportive. Trinity BRINGS it! But we don’t have time to coddle her.
The runway theme is black and white as we find out. And of course, Courtney continues to keep up the shade. Joslyn seems to realize that Courtney doesn’t respect her and I’m so sad for her. Who is mean to Joslyn?!?! So rude. Darienne is still serving up all of the shade. Ma’am, you can not still be mad. Bianca and Trinity continue to talk through their issues. Bianca better get that positive edit. After this Bianca: “Now don’t call me collect if you go to jail.” I just love her.
Ru looks INCREDIBLE. I love this look. So stunning. Michelle has her hair down and looks so much better. Santino looks like Santino. The guest judges are
Roxxxy Andrews Lainie Kazan and Leah Remini! So fun.
Time for the runway!
Laganja..looks terrible. Like that makeup is so wack. Her hairline and wig are wack. She looks ridiculous.
Adore looks okay. Her walk is still bad but the short skirt and wig work okay. Her headpiece is blocking her face though.
Bianca del Rio is serving Manila Luzon and I am LIVING! She can do no wrong for me.
Trinity better WERQ! Listen. This is how it works.
Ben DelaCreme looks spectacular. I love it.
Darienne is giving us Dynasty realness and it’s the best she’s looked.
Courtney looks incredible. I love the head piece and sparkle. This is what the judges meant when they asked for more than pretty. Living for it.
Joslyn looks much better! It’s still naked, but there’s much more style to it.
We review the commercials. Bianca & Trinity do well. It’s not funny exactly but it is really polished and they sold it. Leah and Michelle get into it and I’m laughing. Laganja & Adore…umm. The last line is funny, but the commercial is bland. Laganja’s delivery is pretty awful. Laganja is read for the look which thank God. Michelle praises Adore for looking better on the runway. Dela & Darienne are okay. I actually thought it was a little funny. Not great, but not terrible. Michelle is all , “Who are you, Dela?” Whatever, Michelle. Leave Dela alone. Joslyn & Courtney are meh… The delivery is on but the jokes really don’t land at all.
Santino likes Adore & Laganja’s commercial the best. Lainie really likes Bianca & Trinity on the runway. Dela & Darienne are read for their faces in the ad. Santino thinks Courtney looked bad in the ad (which, no). Leah defends them but there is no defense for Joslyn’s skimpy runway ensemble. I LOVE how into Leah is.
Back on the runway, Adore & Laganja win the challenge?
I mean, I guess. It was between those two and Bianca & Trinity, but to be honest, none of the ads were great. I would have given it to the latter just because Trinity stepped it up and their runway looks were baller. Michelle seems to agree with me and vocalizes it.
Dela & Darienne fall into the bottom two. I can’t disagree, but again there really was no difference in the ads. The pair lip sync to Point of No Return by Expose.
Both girls seem to be nailing a pretty lackluster song while Bianca quips that Darienne had it on cassette when it came out! She’s so great. I love Ben’s ability to serve burlesque moves. Darienne collecting fake tips is brilliant.
Darienne lake is told that she is staying. Ru fakes an elimination speech but Dela is told that she gets to stay another week! Thank God! We can not lose someone so talented this early.
I’m not going to lie, this episode is the first blah one of the season since the two groups combined. The challenge had all the potential of the perfume commercials from last season, but I think that these ladies just didn’t bring it because of pairings. Step it up queens!
On Untucked, Ru delivers another zinger. “Excuse me, queen! Are those buffet pants?”
All 8 queens retire to the Silver Lounge and Dela is sad because Michelle isn’t seeing the real person underneath. Courtney & Darienne are serving up shade. Dela is upset because she feels strongly about her drag which makes total sense. Bianca continues to be brilliant and says that crying is not the key to vulnerability.
Laganja tries to relate and the entire group of queens roll their eyes. Trinity smirks and knows what’s going to happen. Anyways, this makes me smile…
The topic shifts to Joslyn’s costume as it is so similar to last week. Laganja and Darienne shade her and I’m so sad. I love Joslyn and I hate that she’s upset. Courtney says her drag is not as polished as the competition.
Trinity is messy and cracks Bianca up. She wants kudos for acting right and stepping up to the challenge.
In the Gold Bar, Alyssa Edwards is here to be amazing!
You better have your guns loaded. I just love her. “Remind yourself, you are sickening and these bitches can’t take you GIRL! And they are jealous of your boogie!”
Alyssa actually gives some good advice and the other queens are judging the fuck out Laganja. These shady faces are killing me! Adore is amazing in this moment when Laganja’s nails get tangled.
When the group splits up, Joslyn shares how hurt she is by Courtney’s comments and rudity. Joslyn calls Courtney out on her complacency. Trinity preaches that good word and really motivates all of the queens in the room. Aww, Trinity. With this dash of confidence, she is much more tolerable.
The Gold Bar queens read Laganja’s voice and how she’s not acting like herself. Adore is all, “This is not Barney & Friends!” We get all of Laganja’s history and Bianca calls her ALL THE WAY OUT. Bianca reads her outfit and her attitude. Bianca is perfect.
Normally, I’d tell you that I’d see you next week. But I’ll be back later with the next episode!