10 Things They Didn’t Tell You About Life After College

Hey y’all!!! Almost Friday…PAYDAY FRIDAY!!!!

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Onto the post!

Remember that time when you waited to the last minute to finish a project in college. You were hyped up on coffee and energy drinks. Your eyes were burning from staring at the computer screen for so long. Blackboard crashed and you couldn’t submit your assignment. You flung your arms up in the air and screamed….”I CAN’T WAIT TO GRADUATE COLLEGE AND NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAP ANYMORE! I’M TIRED OF THESE STUPID CLASSES. I’M TIRED OF THESE STUPID PEOPLE.”  Immediately after, your cheap laptop crashed and your life was over.

Listen. Ask any college graduate and they would tell you that they would do ANYTHING to have this life back! So here are just 10 things (I could go on forever but…) they did not tell us about life after college.

1)  8 AM classes too early for you? Oh, Bitch you’re not ready.

I wake up at 5:30 every morning. Every. Damn. Morning. This is accompanied by an hour drive to work. I apologize to every 8am professor that I had because I know I had the worst attitude. If my days could go back to starting at 8am, the world would be a happier place. This professional world does not want you to be great or to sleep.

2)   Afternoon naps are….NOT A THING!

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Life was oh so stressful in college. So much so that you just HAD to run home after your 8am or 10am and grab that nap. WHERE DID NAP TIME GO IN THE PROFESSIONAL WORLD?! Because I’m employee of the year, (sarcasm) I manage to get my planning done and grab a 30 minute nap but I know for most of y’all naps just don’t happen. Again, add an hour nap to the workday and I PROMISE the morale at jobs would improve.

3)   Food isn’t as easy as a meal plan.

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Bitch bitch bitch. Food costs money and TIME. Remember when you had a busy day and you were just able to swipe and go. Instantaneous food? Now for my health conscious folk out there, y’all will say this a blessing. “There just are no healthy options blah blah blah.” The fact is that yesterday I worked over 12 hours and the THOUGHT of actually having to come home and cook hurt my spirit. It’s also the end of the month so grabbing food isn’t an option cause we bout that budget life here! Needless to say i’m still pressed over my nasty dinner. Can I get a chicken provolone with seasoned fries with a pink lemonade and hint of sprite from grill worx please? Meal plan swipe. I vote the real world needs meal plans/dollars.

4)   Your College Professor >>> Your Boss

College professors can be rude BUT for the most part they support you, love you, and are willing to help. (In Undergrad that is) Your boss is the worst. He or she is your enemy. She doesn’t care about you feelings. They ask dumbass questions and schedule stupid ass meetings that THEY don’t want to attend. 

5)   You mean I can’t….just go back to sleep when i’m “sick”

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There are so many phone calls, emails, and other issues that go into calling out sick that most of the time it’s not worth it. Especially if you bitch ass boss wants a doctors note. FINE! I JUST WANTED TO SLEEP IN. ARE YOU HAPPY?! Sick days in college were life. You just made the decision and sent that “OMGGGGG Dr.So-and-so, I was sooooo sick! I HATE that I missed your class! I’ll make up the work!”  As I typed this, I literally got an email telling the staff the no one else is allowed to call out sick tomorrow…. Eff this.

6)   No Shade to my High School friends but ….college friends become some of your best friends.

I’ve now narrowed my high school friends to 3 that are my ride or die. While I love and respect my other high school friends, my college ones just swooped in and snatched their spots. It makes sense though. You live, work, party, complain, eat, do laundry, drunkenly flop around campus, smile, laugh, cry, hate, and do everything together. Meanwhile your high school friends do the same at their respective school. You just grow up in different directions and it’s OKAY.

7)   Think you can just stay up all night? Meet 9pm. This is your new bedtime.

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I’m pretty much pissed at the world if i’m not in my bed by 9pm. I may not be asleep but I need to be in the freaking BED. These work days are long. They are filled with SO much responsibility and just….work. After the day is over I want food and my bed.

8)   Fridays are for partying? Not anymore.

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Friday night is for movies, pretending to clean, and sleep. That’s just it. I love you friends but after working well over 40 hours. I am le TIRED. Sure I miss my Friday night shimmy and shake but my relationship with my bed is one of the strongest relationships that I have right now and I intend to keep it that way.

9)   Complaining about a $5 party fee? Girl you’re not ready for the REAL price of a club admission.

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I distinctly remember throwing my nose up at the air whenever someone said the party was $5 to get in. After paying and hearing about outrageous admission fees, coat check fees, and drink price, I would do ANYTHING for a college party! Free beer please. I’ve really learned to love and enjoy my personal dance parties at Club Classy (my bedroom/living room/kitchen) *Sidenote: Eff these expensive ass drink prices. Y’all know that this LIT is NOT worth more than $5 damn dollars. Don’t do this.*

10) Grad school is… NOT undergrad.

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I knew I was the shit when I got to tell people I was going to grad school.I made some great friends and got a great education in Grad School but bitch…they don’t care about your feelings. It seems like everyone is old and they don’t match your college friends. Frankly no one is there to make friends and kiki. Finally, you find a two or three people like you and you latch on to them for dear life. The amount of days I spent crying and ready to quit were countless. On top of that…No matter how much they say “fully paid for”, you STILL end up with more debt. Grad school is a flop.

I could go on forever but now I want to hear some of your life lessons post-undergrad! What would you tell a student entering college now that you wish you heard? Leave a comment and share! Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter @ClassNTrashShow

Love ya for reading!

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7 comments

  1. LMAO! I can’t tell you how many times I have thought of some of these very same things. What I would not do to be a college student again. Life was so much simpler back then.

  2. You know what about college? How you could drink into the wee hours of the morning, throw up, and then go to class later. WTF is up with these two day hangovers? The last time I dropped it low I really felt that my life is in DANGER when I woke up that next morning. Why can’t I be back at Elon!

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