While trash is over there presenting one of his trash Thursday moments (blinks), I thought I’d just let y’all know that…..Bitch I am TIRED. This lackluster life ain’t gon CUT IT. Remember when we were racing to get out of out parents house? Like we just couldn’t wait to be grown?! Mannnnnn I lied I take it back.
Here are 5 things that I miss about not being a damn adult.
1) Food. Listen and listen well. Yesterday marked a new day for me as I bought food lion brand tomato sauce. As an avid Prego user, I just KNEWWWWW I would NEVER use anything else but groceries are EXPENSIVE as HELL. I miss the days of coming home from school with a REAL home cooked HOT meal or being able to swipe that meal plan card. Jesus be a food stamp or something because a bitch is tired of have to pay for food. Veggie dinners, taco soup, soup in general, mashed potatoes, or learning how to order take out food with a five dollar budget is not how I plan on eating the rest of my life.
2) You mean I have to buy my own toiletries? BYE ASHY. Girl to look this cute (pats non existent weave) it costs money. As a kid, toothpaste, razors, deodorant, etc, just magically appeared in the bathroom or if you were out, you just had to ask somebody to grab it for you. Imagine my surprise when I found out that a four pack of razors cost over $20. GOOD BYE. Who has money for that?! Not this trick. Good shampoo and conditioner? Soap? Hand soap? Toilet paper that won’t tear apart you sensitive areas? By the time you get everything you need to smell and look good you’ve dropped way too much damn money.
3) Not paying for Rent. College is wack for making use believe that this is the way the world worked. You mean you don’t include Rent in my tuition bill? I have to PAY for electricity? I have to use a laundry facility OR BUY a washer and dryer? I have to furnish this shit myself? WHO IS PAYING?! MAN F*CK THAT. The rent office or landlords have no sympathy if you are a second late. Like can I live damn it?
4) Not. Paying. Bills. In. General.
- Eff you Fed loan
- Eff you Sallie Mae
- Eff whatever loan service you use
- Eff whatever phone service you have
- F*ck this car payment
- F*ck car insurance
- F*ck Internet/Cable (if your luck to afford both)
- F*ck the rent check
- F*ck the grocery bill
- F*ck the end of the month prayer you have to say when you swipe your bank card hoping it goes through.
- F*CK PAYING FOR GAS OR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
Y’all there was a time when we didn’t have to worry about ANY of those things. I miss it. Bills just got paid. It was magical. It was the crap that fairytales were mad of. Now we’re in this endless nightmare.
5) The light at the end of the tunnel. This is what I miss most about growing up. You don’t realize it but we were always working toward something. Getting out of high school. Graduating college. Getting a masters degree. Now what? Get married? Well go read that “When single stopped being cute” post. It doesn’t help that I’m a public school teacher so the whole get rich thing is a flop. So what now? What is going to make each day not suck. This is the question that I’m stuck with at my now late twenties (dives off cliff for saying late twenties). It really is a paralyzing question in many ways. Nene said it best. “I just want my happy back.” Out of everything in life I want my sparkle back. I want to be the shit and mean it. I want to be great. I miss the blind optimism of my teens and early twenties.
So here’s to growing up…..