The Greatest Rap Battle of All Time. OF ALL TIME!

::cues Girlfight by Brooke Valentine::

We bout to write a poooooooooost!

We bouts to hear some traaaaaaaaash!

gunshiggle

Hello my lovelies.  After a crazy few days, Team Trash is back and fix your life like Iyanla, chicken noodle soup, and good sex.

Today, we’re here to discuss the most important rap verse on the planet.  No, not you Biggie.  Sorry Grandmaster Flash.  Hey Run DMC, no this isn’t about you either.

We’re talking about the second verse in “Chickenhead” by Project Pat.  With a guest appearance from thug queen, La Chat, the verse is a tit for tat argument between two club patrons.  Let’s discuss.

1

“Yeah, you like my outfit. Don’t even fake the deal. I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill.”

Right off the bat, we can see how jazzy and fancy La Chat is.  Her drawstring ponytail blowing in the breeze.  Her bedazzled jean jacket is obviously stunting on you other, more basic ladies.

And it’s clear that while she was spending her coins at the swap meet, Project Pat was supposed to be covering pesky things like electricity!

2

“Always in my face, talkin’ this and that. Girl, I had to buy some rims for the Cadillac.”

But why should La Chat be the only one making the bitter Betty’s of the world jealous?  Project Pat needed those chrome-like rims for the Cadillac?  Pat needs you hoes to pay attention when a pimp rides up on spinners.

And he is sick of y’all trying to come for him when he has done and said nothing to you!

3

“You riding clean but your gas tank is on E. Be stepping out, ain’t got no decent shoes on your feet.”

La Chat clocks his Cadillac, having been in it obviously.  Pat is really just hood rich (Trademark: Big Tymers) and that car is on its last leg!  And if that wasn’t enough, Pat is wearing those Lugz pretending that they are Timberland Boots!

WE CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

4

“That’s just the meter broke, You on know what you talkin bout. Anyway, them new Jordans fin to come out!”

With La Chat taking the upper hand, Pat is forced to admit his Pumas aren’t really what’s hot in the street.  But it doesn’t matter because all the money that he’s saving by not fixing the broken meter in the Cadillac is going towards some shoes next week.  So there!

5

“Hate to see you in the club, you mobbin’ wit a mug. Knowing that you ridin’ wit ya boy, you nothing but a scrub.”

La Chat tries to strike the death blow here.  She don’t want no scrub and Project Pat fits the profile.  That busted up Cadillac isn’t even his!  You better get a Razor Scooter with that Jordan money!

6

“But he was with me.  That’s when you hated. Cuz when I got up on ya friend, you damn near fainted.”

But Pat sees an opportunity.  Trick, you know that’s his car!  You was in it last week.  But that’s in the past because he was talking to La Chat’s girl, LaCreamy!  She’s a woman with taste.  And that Cadi must have done you right, because you seem to be mad!

7

“I sholl did, in her face drinkin on that ‘Gnac. Mouth full of gold, but yo ass need some Tic Tics.”

La Chat is appalled!  Not only is her ponytail more glamorous and sexy than LaCreamy’s but you don’t hit on my friend a week after some of her Cadillac lovin’!  And anyways, LaCreamy said your breath stinks.  Take that Jordan money and invest in Mentos.  The Freshmaker.

8

“WHAT! You need some gum. Breath like some thundah!  What you lookin’ at, I don’t want ya phone numbah!”

Project Pat finally loses it.  You can come for his footwear and automobile, he stays with minty fresh breath.  GET INTO MY BINACA!  And it’s obvious what the problem it.  La Chat is sprung and craving for another taste of that “good good”.

But she can’t have any!

Let’s take a smoke break.  That was all so amazing.

freezeframehighfive

But for real, if Chickenhead was made today, it would probably be that thot nonsense and be mixed using an iPad mini.  What was so great about this era of rap was that even in a song built around two people going at it while sipping on Alize, there was work put into the production.  The looped strings are everything.  The fact that it cuts out at certain point so you can focus on the lyrical content is subtle but it works.  It’s just a fun, trashy song that only would have worked at that time.

So are you a chickenhead?  Who won the rap battle?  What trashy rap songs do you love unabashedly? Let us know in the comments below or on Twitter at @ClassNTrashShow.

Shout out to romvn.tumblr.com for the amazing Chickenhead .gifs.  All of the rest are from Tumblr but unfortunately, I do not recall the original poster.

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