I feel like we all have that one Facebook friend or Twitter follow that we constantly regret. It could be for tweeting blatantly offensive “facts” in the name of playing the devil’s advocate, offering completely inane advice, or just spamming your timeline with poorly spelled, poorly worded nonsense.
And we always feel the mouse drifting to the unfollow or block button, but something prevents us from doing it. What if they actually tweet something funny?? What if there is an emergency and I don’t have their phone number. Facebook may be the only way to get them! We make excuses for them, but I say it’s high time we clean out our newsfeeds and dashboards. We have to tell them, HO SIT DOWN!
I’ve found that there’s always 4 general things these people are trying to say.
1) “Look at me being contrary!”
I have a few friends who seem to focus their posts on their “controversial” opinions and how they are so above the current discussion on their timeline.
You know the ones:
“You all listen to Beyonce, but NOBODY is talking about how Keyshia Cole is better at ping-pong! #overrated #Illuminati”
“You all are quoting the Real Housewives, meanwhile Rachel Maddow is keeping ME informed? #SMARTconsumer #NotASheep #MoMoneyNoProblems”
It’s like, it’s cool that you like those things and that you have time to enjoy them, but why go out of your way to insult what people are doing with their own time and money? There is no reason to insult others entertainment choices, especially if you are doing so in order to validate your choices.
2) “Look at me being intellectual!”
There’s always those people who get online to drop some knowledge on you! But it’s always factually incorrect or completely obvious.
“It’s soooo much cheaper to plan and cook your meals for the week than eat out! #NoWhoppersForThisPhatty”
“Some people only think of Nelson Mandela because of his recent passing, but I keep him alive in my heart EVERYDAY! #BeenAStan #MandelaNavy #webadyoumad”
It’s like, oh thanks that oh so exclusive advice. No one has EVER suggested that perhaps shopping at the grocery store was cheaper than eating out. You are THE FIRST person to ever come up with such a clever and interesting proposal. How smart and thrifty and clever you are!
And remembering the recently passed or celebrating a holiday is reasonable and expected. What I’m specifically talking about is the people who bumrush your timeline with incorrect facts about the person in question or decided to start throwing around “knowledge” because they are so in the know and you plebeians would have never learned this without me.
And related to this, the raggedy tweeter who pops up like “Y’all never mentioned Paul Walker before he passed!”
Who are you to tell someone how they feel and how they choose to express their thoughts. Bye ashy.
3. “I’m SO successful!”
There is nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with sharing good news with the people in your network. But there is a difference between:
“Exceeded my sales quota this month! Whoot!” and,
“Nothing FEELS better than working on Saturday at midnight. Get on my level!”
It’s all about having the basic understanding that people have different goals, different schedules, and different expectations. Holding yourself to a high standard is what you should be doing. Working towards your personal goals is what you should be down. Putting down others for choosing a different path is rude and raggedy.
4. LOOK AT ME!! ME ME ME!
Now in some way, we all want to get a bit of validation for our thoughts, whether it be a chuckle or a retweet from our favorite drunken television cook (Hey Aunt Sandy!).
But if you throwing every trending topic in your tweet, constantly badgering celebs for a mention, or showing your inner and outer labia for an Instagram follow, you’re doing too much.
And before you say something, I realize the irony of us asking you to follow us at @ClassNTrashBlog while writing this post. (But did you follow us?)
But seriously, people. Please use social media responsibly. If you don’t agree with a discussion, ignore it or filter it out. If you need attention, call your boo thing. If you are going to be an asshole, keep it to yourself. That’s just being responsible.
Now twirl on that!