Today’s post is short and sweet. Here are 5 things Team Trash is not here for:
1) Dumb Questions
Contrary to popular belief, there are dumb questions. I’m so sick of people asking questions without thinking through potential answers. For example, one of co-workers REFUSES to read emails, read verbiage, or look at her own notes before asking me questions.
Half of the time, she’s asking questions on things that she wrote.
I. DO. NOT. HAVE. TIME.
I am too busy for you to sit up wasting my time. Hit it, Porscha!
2) Blatant Racism
Now let me just state that both Class and I think of blackface as the more shoe polish/exaggerated lip form as opposed to simply skin darkening. But with that said, stop putting on dark makeup to look like black people. You know people are going to be offended. We know you’re going to issue some fake apology that you don’t mean. We know that you will curse all those “sensitive” Negros under your breath.
Read this post by the fabulous Rembert Browne (@Rembert) for Grantland.
It is 2014.
STOP TRYING TO DARKEN YOUR SKIN AND STOP HAVING GANGSTER-HOODRAT PARTIES IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR WIG SNATCHED.
3) Body Odor
Buy deodorant and antiperspirant.
Wash your hair.
Wash your clothes.
If you don’t do these things, please don’t talk to me.
Me right now:
I’m sick of driving in it, shoveling it, and working in it. This weather is for the birds.
5) Halogen Head Lights
If your raggedy car has these bright ass lights, do NOT climb up into my trunk. It’s distracting and actually makes driving that much worse.
And for your trollops who think it’s cute to turn those neon lights on even brighter and then not turn it down when driving towards me, I hope you spend the rest of your days cranking dat Soulja Boy in hell.