New Feature: Trashy Thursdays

::slowly opens the bedroom door::

PICK UP THE PHOOOOOONE!

Welcome dear readers.  It’s time to introduce a new fun feature, Trashy Thursdays.  This is when #TeamTrash will walk through the minefield that is his YouTube favorites list and bring you some of the best trashy videos.  Today we’re focusing on some of my favorite commercials.

Above, you saw the elegant and sophisticated ladies from the 90’s sex lines.  As a young and slightly less trashy child, I remember this commercial vividly from watching “Strip Poker” on USA.

Yes, it was a real game show.  And yes, it was just as ridiculous as you imagine.

But back to the ladies.  Why is there a chain link fence inside? Where do I get that jewel-tone jumpsuit?  Most importantly, how much did they get paid for this?  I mean, I can strut seductively and sing off-key.

1-800-411-PAIN

A radio commercial from the Atlanta area, 1-800-411-Pain is after my heart and my pennies.  One of the key qualifications for being a friend of #TeamTrash is knowing the entire first verse of Khia’s “My Neck, My Back.”  (Be sure to let me know this at @ClassNTrashShow on Twitter.  I will always follow a fellow Khia stan!)

The enterprising lawyers from this firm knew that there were people like me who live for these moments and brought us a “marketing campaign” specifically built around it.

Sidenote: Maybe don’t sing this around your parents.  Or anyone who could fire you.

Just the idea that someone spent a portion of their marketing budget on this.

Marketing Assistant:I need a catchy jingle to bring in the customers but sampling Journey or the Monkees is too expensive!

Marketing Executive:We can’t even afford J-Kwon or Chamillionaire.  And people won’t remember Tony Yayo’s song which was free.

Marketing Assistant:What about Alicia Keys?  Her voice sounds like a car accident these days!

Marketing Executive:Nope, going with Khia.

Now we have this commercial to enjoy forever.  And we are all better for it.

The Amazing Swedish Diet

Looking to lose weight?  We at Class & Trash have the perfect product for you!  These three divas, their wigs, and bargain basement video editing techniques can only be promoting a high quality product.

While you’re opening a new tab to CVS to get your annual supply, do not miss these quality moments in the commercial.

1) The lean and point at :01
2) The booty shake and turn at :03
3) The slow and dramatic body rolls at :10
4) When they travel at :13
5) The hair flip at :17
6) The fierce snap at :18
7) The shoulder pops into a pelvic roll at :24
8) The “rap” at :29
9) Whatever is happening at :40
10) The smiling booty shawts at :41
11) The stiff butterfly at :50

Come back! Save some Amazing Swedish Diet for me!

Burger King “Crispy Chicken Wraps” featuring Mary J. Blige

Nothing I could say could be as funny as this.  Enjoy!

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